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Quotes / Ax-Crazy

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    Anime and Manga 

HAHAHA! Well, well, now that is beautiful. See? Look Dodoria, Zarbon, look at the fireworks, aren't they splendid!? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

But then, bam! Outta nowhere appears Boss Ladd, and you know what he says? I'll tell you what he says. He says, "It's pretty sad, a night with no stars. Kill me."
Then the thugs turn and look at each other like they don't know what's going on and before you know it bam, again! There's a crack and a tinkle, and the boss's fist dismantles the goons' teeth. And then y'know what he says next?
"...They say it's self-defense if someone kills you while you're trying to kill them."
And then y'know what he says?
"In other words, when I tell you to kill me, then sure, you've got the right to kill me. But at the same time, it means I've got the right to kill you, too. Makes sense, doesn't it?"
Does it ever! Philosophy 101, taught by none other than Professor Russo himself! Ain't he the best happiest awesomest most dangerous idiotic dumbass ever?
Graham Spectre squees about his logic professor, Baccano!!

Sounds like death...danger! It sounds bad! Danger, danger! What's happening in the dining car? Is there blood? Who's killing who? Where did they get shot? I have to see! Things are really starting to get exciiiiting...Yes! Yesyesyesyes! YES YES YES YES YES!!

SHOW ME YOUR BLOOD!![...]HAHAHA, YES!! Blood is EXACTLY what I wanted from you!!
Muscular, My Hero Academia

I will indulge in my hobby. I will bathe in blood and death. No life could be more fulfilling!
Skuld Silent-Third as she strangles Qwenthur, Heavy Object

"Kill the Humans, slice their meat, cut their bones, and use their blood and guts to hold the most extravagant party. Come now! And we will engrave into their corpses, our everlasting fantasy world!"
Gyokuro Shuzen, Rosario + Vampire

    Comic Books 

Doomguy, Doom

Nemo: [firing an automatic harpoon gun into a crowd] Come Forward! Come Forward, men of England! Tell the gods that Nemo sent you!

"He suits the climate here: the madness, the pointless butchery... As I come to understand Vietnam and what it implies about the human condition, I also realize that few humans will permit themselves such an understanding. Blake's different. He understands perfectly... and he doesn't care."
Dr. Manhattan, Watchmen


    Fan Works 

"What is it with you and murder, Corkus? Look, we murdered some people yesterday, and murdered some people this morning, and guess what we're doing tomorrow? More murder."
Griffith, Berserk Abridged

Something [my dad] always tells me is that there’s nothing like the thrill of killing. Well, that and "Don't touch my whiskey or I’ll beat you to death."
Mercury Black describing his father Marcus, The Black Hearts

Kryptonians could survive in space without a suit. Was that not a pleasure? It certainly was. She could live her life between the stars, and never once need to breathe.
She could devastate planets, wipe them clean of life. Rebuild them at her whim.
She could tyrannize worlds, whole systems of planets, make them bow to her mighty hand, instantly execute anyone who dared protest—or just anybody she wanted to kill.
She could explore pleasures of the body that Kara never would have dared to, satisfy lusts that the blonde beast never even knew she had. She could force herself upon any suitor, male or female or whatever, and destroy them after their job was done. Or perhaps just maim them, so that they could never again do such a job for anyone else. Satan Girl smiled. Now that was being imaginative...
She could have children from those couplings, or kill them in the womb.
She could become a goddess to an unsophisticated planet's people. Drinking in their worship, demanding sacrifice.
All of this she could do, she would do, and more.
For Kryptonians and Daxamites were gods, off their homeworlds. They really were. What a pity their morality forced them not to realize that fact.
She clasped her bent knees to her chest and thought. The problem was, in this time, she was hardly unique. Billions of Kryptonians existed on Rokyn. Billions more Daxamites, with the same power, existed on Daxam. Luckily, there was only one prisoner still left in the Phantom Zone, that old poop Gazor, so there wasn't much competition there.
But, somehow, she'd have to do something about both planets. Daxam would be easy. A shower of leaden hail across its surface, and the dead would litter the ground in heaps beyond Hitler's and Stalin's dreams.
That world would stink of corpses for eons to come.
She laughed soundlessly.
Satan Girl, Supergirl: Hellsister Trilogy

    Film — Live-Action 

Do you doubt anything I've said? Do you doubt what's in the reports that have followed me around all my life? What do they say, if you had to sum it up? They say I'm insane?
No, it's okay. You can nod. Because it's true. I am insane.
Lisbeth Salander, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

Wendy? Darling? Light of my life. I'm not gonna hurt ya. You didn't let me finish my sentence. I said, I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just going to bash your brains in. I'm gonna bash 'em right the fuck in.
Jack Torrance, The Shining (1980 movie)

I am the Night Rider. I'm a fuel-injected suicide machine! I am a rocker! I am a roller! I am an out-of-controller!
The Night Rider, Mad Max


Rhyme: They won't let me watch those, but they allow me to view cartoons. Considering I hold the world record on comically-oversized-mallet-related-murders, does that seem like an intelligent policy to you? Or an even remotely sane one?

Warbeak KILLEE!!!
Warbeak, Redwall

If you go and kill the ugly little girl right now, won't the steadholder object? And then you'd have to kill him as well. And anyone else upstairs. And all these people here... Why shouldn't we do this again?
Odiana, Furies of Calderon

He discovered three things almost simultaneously, about ten days after having emerged from the dark cloud. The first was that Annie Wilkes had a great deal of Novril (she had, in fact, a great many drugs of all kinds). The second was that he was hooked on Novril. The third was that Annie Wilkes was dangerously crazy.

    Live-action TV 

Richie Aprile: Did you ever meditate?
Beansie: Me, meditate? Ha, are you crazy?
Richie: Not as crazy as I used to be, still crazy enough to take an eye out.

Who the HELL... put bouillon cubes in the shower head!?! Huh? Hm, did you do it? Hm? Did you? If it happens again... I will wait in my SUV, blast me some speed metal — five point one surround sound, heavy on the bass — and someone... will be getting... mowed... down.
Hooch is crazy!

Roose Bolton: You flayed him.
Ramsay Snow: Peeled a few bits... removed a few others.

Puppet: So there's something I've been wanting to ask you for some time now. You've seen the things I do in the past as well as in the future.
Clyde Bruckman: They're terrible things.
Puppet: I know they are! So, tell me, please, why have I done them?
Bruckman: (sighs) Don't you understand yet, son? Don't you get it?
(Puppet shakes his head in bewilderment)
Bruckman: (sighs) You do the things you do because you're a homicidal maniac.
Puppet: That... (smiles) That does explain a lot, doesn't it?
The X-Files, "Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose"

Hyde: Ever killed anyone, Benjamin?
Benjamin: Not personally; I have people.
Hyde: You're missing out. It's like sex, only there's a winner.


Bats in the belfry (hoo-ha!)
Rotten on the vine! (ha-ha-ha)
Can't keep my eyes closed (hoo-ha!)
Sunny all the time!
Put your hands where I can see 'em boy
Keep 'em up high!
This place~
Has gone~
— "Viva Discordia", That Handsome Devil

So, I quite like PORN photography
And books on GUNS history
And I'd like to be a POLITICIAN vet
And I feel as I get older,
I'm more in control of my violent tendencies
I'll have no regrets
—"Angry (Feet)", Tim Minchin

My only aim is to take many lives
The more the better I feel
My only pleasure is to hear many cries
From those tortured by my steel
The colour of your blood from your open body
Is all I wanted to see
Tasting the blood from your lips as you die
Means satisfaction to me
Pleasure to kill!
— "Pleasure to Kill", Kreator


    Tabletop Games 

Kharn the Betrayer, swell guy, Warhammer 40,000

More a type of Infernalist than an organized cult, the "Howlers of the Waste" embody the bliss at the end of Creation. Demented beyond humanity, these deviants thrash around in freakish degradation, often eating their own flesh just because they can. Although they often wander alone in the wilderness, K'wahhll sometimes settle in warrens beneath cities and mountains; there, they breed like human maggots, feasting on anything too weak to escape - including each other. Few K'wahhll are lucid enough to make conversation. Those who can speak express a fond desire to fuck the sky itself and give birth to dark stars and shrieking planets.

Only nominally sentient, Kindred with Humanity 1 teeter on the edge of oblivion. Little matters to vampires this far gone, even their own desires outside of sustenance and rest. There is literally nothing a vampire with Humanity 1 won’t do, and only a few tattered shreds of ego stand between him and complete devolution. Many who attain this stage find themselves no longer capable of coherent speech, and spend their nights gibbering blasphemy in their gore-spattered havens.
Vampire: The Masquerade - Rulebook (20th ed)

    Video Games 

It must be... magnificent. To hear a planet writhe and scream. To feel it convulse beneath your own feet. Witness it dying with living eyes. Perhaps I may share this gift with every last living soul in the galaxy... Until then..."
Kyras, Dawn of War

Agent Norman Jayden: Blake, you are an unbalanced, psychopathic asshole!
Lt. Carter Blake: I'll take that as a compliment.

I wanna live inside a castle built of your agony, AND I WANT TO CRUMBLE IT WITH AN AXE TO YOUR CAROTID ARTERY!
Krieg the Psycho, Borderlands 2

Pop quiz: Why am I such an angry bitch? Seriously, no matter how many I kill, it's all the same. They're all going to pay, yeah, with their fucking lives.
Bad Girl, No More Heroes

Did I ever tell you what the definition of insanity is? Insanity is doing the exact same fucking thing over and over again expecting shit to change. That is crazy. The first time somebody told me that, I dunno, I thought they were bullshitting me. So, boom, I shot him.
Vaas Montenegro, Far Cry 3

Maybe I am nothing but a fat, disgusting piece of shit. But you know what? It doesn't matter if you're smart, dumb, ugly, pretty... it's all the same once you're dead! And a corpse can't laugh. From now on, if anyone makes fun of me, I'll kill 'em! Just like that!
Eddie Dombrowski, Silent Hill 2

We, masters of a matter most dark, vow to be restored, as foretold in the book of legend, which everyone thought was just a fairy tale! It WASN’T! We have already obtained the vessel that contains our Dark Lord, and he will soon awaken and shower us in compassion! Look! The vessel of our Dark Lord is filling up even as we speak! Now the time for his greatness to enter our world has come! Welcome to a new history! A new age! The age of awesome! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DARK LORD! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

    Visual Novels 

"He was indeed a "monster". Sanity was no friend of his."
Dies Irae ~Interview with Kaziklu Bey~ discussing Wilhelm Ehrenburg.


"Let's cut God to see if he bleeds!"
Motto of the Knights Belligerent, Kill Six Billion Demons

    Web Original 

"APD sufferers experience everything you would attribute to your run of the mill horror movie psycho and generally end up in prison for one crime or another... Typical characteristics/hobbies of these up and coming psycho killers with APD include lying, cheating, stealing, violence, rape, setting shit on fire, shooting up schools, and setting animals on fire for fun. When the APD sufferer is done with their lulzy pastimes they will have absolutely no remorse for the fucked up shit they've done."
Encyclopedia Dramatica very accurately describes a typical ax-crazy, by way of Antisocial Personality Disorder.

Minerelle: Did you kill anyone?
Kodrinschreiner: No, I did not kill anyone because I'm not you.

Kenshin: A man entered where we were staying, told us he murdered several people, and then started yelling and drew his knife.
Impa: My goddess.
Kenshin: Yes, he was very obsessed with that knife. Almost as if it... (searches for a term) Turned him on.

Allegedly murdered three people, two of them over a spilled drink. Allegedly got a tattoo commemorating that double murder. (He can rub it and always reminisce about avenging that lost G&T.) Allegedly invited a friend for a car ride specifically to kill him. Allegedly beat a handcuffed inmate while he was in jail. But look, you can take all of that away and the ex-Patriots tight end would still be a scumbag. Let's go back in time to 2007, when he was still in college. We're in a Gainesville, Florida, restaurant and [Aaron] Hernandez is refusing to pay his tab, because of course. A bouncer confronts Hernandez and is rewarded with a punch from behind to the head, which ruptures his eardrum. Tim Tebow—Hernandez's Gators teammate—is in the restaurant, but even He cannot use His magic Jesus powers to stop Hernandez from being an unhinged psychopath.
Drew Magary, "The 25 Biggest Sleazebags in Sports!"

The 90s really are back and not in a good way...Death Row Records founder Suge Knight is getting ready to surrender himself to the Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department after he pulled a first degree Halle Berry by hitting a man with his car and fleeing the scene. The man later died. The hit-and-run happened on a film set in Compton where Dr. Dre, Ice Cube and The Game were shooting something. Suge was told to leave by security and that’s when shit got really serious. A witness says that 2 dudes started a fight. Poor old Suge wasn’t up for a fight since his body is weak from getting shot six times last summer and almost dying from a blood clot in November. So Suge got back into his car and when he put the car in reverse, he hit three men.

One of the men was Terry Carter, a friend of Suge’s who drove with him to the set. Terry was walking to the passenger side of the car when Suge hit him. Now, any normal person who isn’t an evil piece of trash and has at least a sliver of a heart would’ve called for an ambulance and stayed with their friend. But not Suge. He took off Lizzie Grubman-style....This is kind of shocking actually. This might be the first time that Suge Knight killed someone accidentally.
Michael K., "Suge Knight Ran Over And Killed A Man On A Movie Set"

My name is Alexander Anderson./And I like killing things because it's fun.

Vegeta attempting (and failing) to kill Android 18, Dragon Ball Z Abridged


    Western Animation 

Oh Samurai? Where are you Sa-mu-rai? You can run but you cannot hide, CAUSE I CAN SMELL YOUR BLOOD!
Aku, Samurai Jack

Galvatron: "I'll destroy everything here—everything! And THEN, I'll destroy the Autobots!"
Therapist: "Yes...tell me about the Autobots."
Galvatron: "I hate Autobots! I hate Cyclonus! And I'm not very fond of you, either!"
The Transformers, Webworld


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