Follow TV Tropes

Following

Quotes / Automated Automobiles

Go To

Dr. Shiouji: Say, haven't you too ever been put in a tizzy by that horrible term — automobile? What's so auto about it? If you want it to be mobile, you've still got to pump and grip and be in the highest state of awareness. Surely a classic example of misplaced exertion. The technology is incomplete. The technology is a no-no-noying. Why is it the case that's the case? Now if I were in charge, there are certain things that I would do. In fact, I've already done them. Behold... my perfection! The Full-Auto-Mobil—
Excel: (Karate chops Shiouji in the head.) You dare even attempt to utter that line?!
Excel Saga, volume 5

Advertisement:
Mean Machine: I've got to put up with a driver who gets me trashed in every single race and a biomechanical dog who wipes his wormy tailpipe on my seats on a daily basis. I sure as hell don't have to take crap from an eight-legged lizard.
Convert-O-Car: Technically, that was urine.
[a drunk vomits on the Mean Machine]
Mean Machine: Hey!
[the other cars point and laugh]

"I can remember when there wasn't an automobile in the world with brains enough to find its own way home. I chauffeured dead lumps of machines that needed a man's hand at their controls every minute. Every year machines like that used to kill tens of thousands of people. The automatics fixed that. A positronic brain can react much faster than a human one, of course, and it paid people to keep hands off the controls. You got in, punched your destination and let it go its own way. We take it for granted now, but I remember when the first laws came out forcing the old machines off the highways and limiting travel to automatics. Lord, what a fuss. They called it everything from communism to fascism, but it emptied the highways and stopped the killing, and still more people get around more easily the new way. Of course, the automatics were ten to a hundred times as expensive as the hand-driven ones, and there weren't many that could afford a private vehicle. The industry specialized in turning out omnibus-automatics. You could always call a company and have one stop at your door in a matter of minutes and take you where you wanted to go. Usually, you had to drive with others who were going your way, but what's wrong with that?"
Isaac Asimov, "Sally"

Advertisement:
Shane: Autodrive is a thing that happens.
Vann: This is a Bureau car. Lowest-bidder autodrive is not something you want to trust.

Troubleshooter: Why didn't you tell me we were headed for a collision?
Flybot: You said 'left turn', so I turned left. I suggested maybe we should do something else, but nooo. You were pretty rude about it, too.

Kathryn: Setting aside the fact that we're in a stolen car, how were you even able to touch a moving car? These things are programmed to avoid collisions.
Sorlie: No, they're programmed to prevent injuries.
[beat]
Kathryn: You jumped into traffic without a flight belt.
Schlock: The van swooped under me and carried me off, so it's more like it stole me.
Top

Example of:

/
/

Feedback