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Quotes / Authority in Name Only

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Boy, that sums up everything, doesn't it? Look at Princeton Boy sitting there, just waiting to have a shoebox filled with oily diarrhea handed to him... You could replace him with a Dustbuster. It doesn't matter. No matter who you are, you don't get a war room phone. You sit on your hands and you smile like a fool.
Drew McGary, "Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Dallas Cowboys"

Paul Yanick Jr. is the president of the American Academy of Quantum Medicine (AAQM)...Another website presents Yanick as “an expert in the emerging [i.e. imaginary] field of Quantum Medicine, with over thirty years of extensive clinical experience.” He is also “a board-certified naturopath,” and a “CNC”, which stands for “Certified Nutritional Consultant,” a worthless crackpot certification issued by the American Association of Nutrition Consultants. Indeed, he is also a “C.Q.M.,” which seems to mean “certified in quantum medicine,” and is probably issued by himself.
Encyclopedia of American Loons, Paul Yanik

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Londo: Don't worry. Even one as arrogant as this would not take it upon himself to imprison his own prime minister!
[Cut to Londo and G'Kar in a prison cell]
Londo: Shut up.
G'Kar: I didn't say anything.
Babylon 5, "All My Dreams Torn Asunder"

The Black Star is where the leaders of the empire meet to do their leaderish things. The amber sphere is where they keep their emperor, carefully preserved and perfect. He wanders its golden halls in genteel despair, doing what he is told and dreading the day his masters decide that his daughter makes a better ornament.

And who made this man a captain, might I ask? Did I sleep through some sort of an Armed Forces swearing-in ceremony or something? Captain- he's a fucking pilot and let him be happy with that! If those sightseeing announcements are any mark of his intellect, he's lucky to be working at all! Tell the captain Air Marshall Carlin says, "GO FUCK YOURSELF!"
George Carlin, on airline pilots
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