Quotes / Attack of the Political Ad

I gave it up. I hauled down my colors and surrendered. I was not equal to the requirements of a Gubernatorial campaign in the state of New York, and so I sent in my withdrawal from the candidacy, and in bitterness of spirit signed it,

"Truly yours, once a decent man, but now,

Mark Twain, Infamous Perjurer, Montana Thief, Body-Snatcher, Delirium Tremens, Filthy Corruptionist, and Loathsome Embracer"

— Running For Governor by Mark Twain

John McCain: Any of you ever been accused of having a Negro child out of wedlock because your adopted daughter was born in Bangladesh? And then when she was 16 and Googled her name, I had to explain to her why President Bush's henchmen called her a bastard when she was 10 years old.
Rick Davis: Uhh err yeah, South Carolina... that was an ugly primary. But this isn't the same thing. Reverend Wright really did say those things.
John McCain: That may be true. But there is a dark side to American populism. Some people win elections tapping into it. I'm not one of those people.

—Game Change

Announcer: [sinister music] Last year, Democratic Candidate Michael Rebbins has purchased a Sports Utility Vehicle. Three months later there have been two separate incidences of hit-and-runs by unidentified SUVs in his area. Is Democratic Candidate Michael Rebbins to blame? Can you afford that chance? Can your children? [upbeat music] Vote Republican Senator Robert Thorne, a candidate who has never committed vehicular homicide!

— 1 of 3 radio ads from Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines

Peter: Hi, I'm Peter Griffin. You know, I grew up in this town. Quahog needs a moral, upstanding school board president, someone we can trust. Well, a lot of nasty things has been said during this campaign, but pictures are better than words because some words are big and hard to understand. But here's something everyone can understand. Do you really want your children's future in the hands of this? (holds up a photo of Lois in skimpy lingerie) I know I don't.

Cleveland: (voiceover) Paid for by the Peter Griffin for School Board President Committee. Sorry, Lois.

—Family Guy, "Running Mates"

Narrator: Abraham Lincoln. Honest Abe. Or so he'd have you believe. Last year, Abe said he was 15 years old. Now he claims to be 16. Which is it, Abe? Better keep your story straight. He'd also like you believe he's not a baby eater. But he's never gone on record saying he isn't. Maybe he's too busy eating babies?
Abe:(holding a fork with a candle in the background) I can't wait to eat this-(the video fastforewards to Abe having sauce on his face and the candle melted to the stub) Baby!
(cut to a Baby on a plate)
Abe:(Slurps up some spagetti)
Narrator: When's it gonna stop, Abe?
JFK:(holding two babies in front of the American flag) Not voting for Abe. It just makes sense.

— Clone High

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