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Quotes / Artistic License Paleontology

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"Forgive me, father, for I have sinned. I have drawn dinosaurs and hominids together in the same cartoon."

"There's nothing like them in the fossil record, I'm sure...Okay, so they predate the fossil record...(not buying it herself) That'd make them a couple of billion years old...and we've just never seen one till now. Right."
Rhonda, Tremorsnote 

"'Now, hold on,' you keep saying. 'Aren't bows and arrows primitive and harmless?' Why don't you ask the dinosaurs? Except you can't, because the cavemen bow and arrowed them to death."
Team Fortress 2, Sniper Update Notes

"What killed the dinosaurs? THE ICE AGE!"
Mr Freeze, Batman & Robinnote 

"And on the third day, God created the Remington Bolt Action Rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs..."

"I only have one question. How does it know it's called a duckbill if ducks don't exist yet?"

"We used to be criticised a lot when we made the remake of 1 Million BC, that man never lived in the age of the dinosaurs. [...] When you have no humans with the dinosaurs, you have no size comparison, you have no drama, so you have to take that liberty. After all, we're NOT making these pictures for Professors. They probably never go to the cinema anyway."

"The truth is that the dinosaurs had been dead for over a week before the first human came along, probably in the form of Bob Dole. Yet most Americans firmly believe that humans and dinosaurs once coexisted. This misconception arose from the many absurdly inaccurate fictional depictions of caveman life, such as the TV cartoon show The Flintstones, in which the Flintstones own a pet dinosaur named Dino. But paleontologists, who can determine the age of fossils with a high degree of accuracy using a technique called 'carbon dating,' have known for many years that 'Dino' is actually another character wearing a costume. 'We think it's Barney,' the paleontologists announced recently, 'but we can't say for sure until we get another government grant.'"
Dave Barry, Planet of the Apes

"I'm not sure of the situation on the other sections, but the dinosaur section [in this book] is completely out of date. For example, Spinosaurus and Tyrannosaurus are both included in the Infraorder Carnosauria!!! Even the novice dinosaur fans all know that they belong in their own distinctive families! Another major problem of this book are the illustrations. Most of them are good but some are just out of date! Just look at Spinosaurus, it's basically an Allosaurus with a sail! That is just disappointing. I can't help from thinking whether this book was truly published in 2006 as stated on the first page or not. Most of the information are wrong facts that are used at least 10 years ago. Boy, if it really was published in 2006, the author sure has some guts."
—Amazon reviewer Hanqing Li

Okay, but the fossil record shows you're about twice as large as a real [velociraptor], so... And I won't even mention that all raptor species are known to be feathered. Or that all of them died out millions of years before T-rex appeared, so you don't know what they sound like. Y'know, this isn't even my field? I picked it up from the Discovery Channel. This is stuff children know.
Atomic Robo talking to Dr. Dinosaur, Atomic Robo and Other Strangeness

"Nothing in Jurassic World is natural! We have always filled gaps in the genome with the DNA of other animals, and if the genetic code was pure, many of them would look quite different. But you didn't ask for reality, you asked for more teeth!"
Dr. Henry Wu, Jurassic World

T-Rex was single-celled?! Goddamn I think this movie just broke science.

Jane: So, dinosaurs went extinct when they no longer knew how to love one another, is that correct?
Tom Servo: In a wrong kind of way, sure.

"In Genesis 1:30 God gives ‘green herb’ to every creature to eat and so there were no predators. When a curious museum visitor asks, why exactly T. rex had six-inch long serrated teeth, the guides go on to explain that T. rex used his big teeth to open coconuts. "

"At age nine or so, in the Catskills at one of those innumerable summer camps with an Indian name, I got into a furious argument with a bunkmate over the old issue of wether humans and dinosaurs ever inhabited the earth together. We agreed —bad, bad mistake— to abide by the judgment of the first adult claiming to know the answer, and we bet the camp currency, a chocolate bar, on the outcome. We asked all the counselors and staff, but none had ever heard of a brontosaurus. At parents' weekend, his came and mine didn't. We asked his father, who assured us that of course dinosaurs and people lived together; just look at Alley Oop. I paid —and seethed— and still seethe."
Stephen J. Gould, Bully for Brontosaurus

"I am a stegosaurus!"
Sauropod, asdfmovie4

"I generally have stayed away from them [feathered dinosaurs] because even though we know that a lot of dinosaurs have feathers, exactly where they go and what they were like still seems very unclear, or at least it's unclear to me. There are a lot of different interpretations, and I want my dinosaurs to read as clearly as possible. [...] Alternately, why would anyone even expect feathers in a comic where dinosaurs and humans live at the same time?"
—Michael Steams, creator of Dawn of Time, on July 19, 2009

Dewey: Aw, it's just a dinosaur. Bubba's a cave-duck, he can take care of it.
Huey: That's impossible! Dinosaurs lived millions of years before cave-ducks.
(Bubba is now on the Triceratops, riding it like a bull)
Huey: (deadpan) Aaaand he's riding it. Great.
DuckTales (2017), "Timephoon!"

Calvin's Mom: Did tyrannosaurs fight these [Stegosaurus]?
Calvin: Of course not, Mom! Tyrannosaurs came millions of years later! Look, try not to embarrass me when we go inside, okay?


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