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Quotes / Armor Is Useless

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The moment of a Viking's death is chosen by fate. So what use have they of armor? Or of fear?

"I believe there is never a long gauntlett sent, let Hill make one with all speede he can possibly; for it will kill a man to serve in a whole cuirass. I am resolved to use nothing but back, brest and gauntlet; if I had a Pott for the Head that were pistoll proofe it may be that I would use it if it were light, but my whole helmet will be of no use to me at all."

"Following standard JRPG logic, that guy has no armor, and is therefore the most powerful person in the world."

"Uuh, this papier-mache armor is useless!"note .
Hapless Fire Nation soldier, Avatar: The Abridged Series

"No man charges into battle without helm and shield for the sake of a few sheep, no, not even if it is his wife that has been stolen."

"Guys in full plate armor think they are soooo tough until you push them down a hill."
Max Facepuncher, on Twitter.

"Little does he realize that I have on my disintegration-proof vest! You may fire when ready, Grisly!"
Duck Dodgersnote , Duck Dodgers in the 24½th Century

"Hopefully those guards have good armor... No they don't. Maybe they do...? They don't."
Tobuscus as Ezio kills four guards in plate armor with one shot each

"This armor is useless, why do we even wear it?!"
Imperial stormtrooper (upon having his armor pierced by arrows), Family Guy: It's a Trap!

"Your friend is dead, and Meryn Trant's not. Because Trant had armor, and a big fucking sword."
The Hound, Game of Thrones

"My eyes! The goggles do nothing!"
Rainier Wolfcastle, The Simpsons

"This tight-fitting cuirass
Is but a useless mass;
It's made of steel and weighs a deal,
This tight-fitting cuirass
Is but a useless mass.
A man is but an ass,
Who fights in a curiass,
So off—goes the cuirass!"
Arac, "This Helmet I Suppose";

"The knight in shining armour is cool and all, but the archetype that imprinted itself in my soul at that formative age wasn’t Sir Lancelot, or William the Marshall; it was Yoda and Obi-Wan Kenobi. And the only armour in the Star Wars universe seems to be worn by the villains. Plus, it’s completely useless anyway, as teddy bears with slingshots can get through it."
Guy Windsor, historical fencing instructor

"We're wearing armor and those Ewoks are still killing us!"
Imperial stormtrooper, How Return of the Jedi Should Have Ended

"Well, helmet has the word Hell in it. And I don't know about you, sonny, but I ain't no sinner. When my time comes, I'm on my way to Heaven. So, I won't be putting one of those demons contraptions on my head."
Pibb, from Adam Sandler's Pibb


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