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Quotes / Armchair Military

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    Film - Live-Action 

No wonder Kurtz put a weed up Command's ass. The war was being run by a bunch of four-star clowns who were gonna end up giving the whole circus away.
Willard, Apocalypse Now

The Rebs have decided that bridge is the key to this whole area. Stupid, useless bridge! Flyspeck on Headquarters' maps. Headquarters has declared we must take that ridiculous flyspeck. Even if all of us are killed. Otherwise the key'll get rusty and just be a spot on the wall.

Col. Pluskat: (at Normandy) The invasion's come! There must be five thousand ships out there!
Lt. Col. Ocker: (miles away, sipping coffee) Don't be ridiculous, Pluskat: the Allies don't have half that many.
Pluskat: Well, damn it! Come and look for yourself!
Ocker: (laughing) Pluskat, just where are those ships heading?


You take it from me, we are losing the war because we can salute too well.
Erich Maria Remarque, All Quiet on the Western Front


    Live-action TV 

Gen. Lefcourt: We understand that fully a third of their population is dedicated to warfare.
Londo Mollari: (laughs in disbelief) They have a warrior caste! Not exactly the same thing, hm?
Lefcourt: Semantics. We need to know all we can about them.
Londo: Then send one ship. One ship only. Anything more could perceived as a threat. And if that were to happen, well, I assure you: they would never return home.
Lefcourt: My people can handle themselves. We took care of the Dilgar, we can take care of the Minbari!
Londo: Ah, arrogance and stupidity all in the same package. How efficient of you.

Worf: He says that you struck his name from an officers list because his family comes from the Ketha lowlands.
Kor: Did I? I don't recall. Of course, there were so many officer lists. I suppose it's possible.
Worf: It is an unworthy reason to bar a man from serving the Empire.
Kor: Worf, you've been living among this democratic rabble for too long.


They tell us that the Admiral
Is as nice as he can be
But we never see the Admiral
Because the Admiral has never been to sea
Irving Berlin, "We Saw the Sea"

Come you masters of war
You that build all the guns
You that build the death planes
You that build all the bombs
You that hide behind walls
You that hide behind desks
I just want you to know
I can see through your masks
Bob Dylan, "Masters of War"

How is it that the only ones responsible for making this mess
Got their sorry asses stapled to a goddamn desk?
Tom Waits, "Hell Broke Luce"

    Tabletop Games 

A war waged by committee is a war already lost.
Ecclesiarch Sebastian Thor, Warhammer 40,000


How did you get in the Navy? How did you get on our side? You ignorant, arrogant, ambitious—! Keeping sixty-two men in prison 'cause you got a palm tree for the work they did. I don't know which I hate worse, you or that other malignant growth that stands outside the door.
Doug Roberts, Mr. Roberts (1955)

    Video Games 

Otacon: That ship's been transmitting a live video feed via military satellite uplink for a while now.
Snake: So there's some brass out there, smacking their lips over this little home movie... Wherever it is, it must be a warm, dry office with hot coffee on tap.
Otacon: A far cry from that tanker, huh? That's what happens when the battlefield has a Revolution in Military Affairs.


    Web Original 

The Neocon’s idea of war is like the virgin's idea of sex. Neocons are utterly, totally, and completely ignorant of war and the military. No Neocon has ever served in the military, and veterans are categorically excluded from being called a Neocon. Neocons used their wealth and privilege to avoid their generation's war, yet feel they are qualified experts on the subject.

    Real Life 

It's not the generals, it's the civilians who authorize and organize the worst war crimes.
Noam Chomsky

We were damned lucky we didn't blow up the world — and no thanks to the political or military leadership of this country.
Maj. Don Clawson, B-52 pilot during the Cuban Missile Crisis

I confess, without shame, I am sick and tired of fighting - its glory is all moonshine; even success the most brilliant is over dead and mangled bodies, with the anguish and lamentations of distant families, appealing to me for sons, husbands and fathers [...] 'tis only those who have never heard a shot, never heard the shriek and groans of the wounded and lacerated [...] that cry aloud for more blood, more vengeance, more desolation.
General William Tecumseh Sherman

The old man in the dress-coat, that is the famous General So-and-So. [...] He is the same who initiated the great offensive at V. back then. "The troops of the general," it said in the army bulletin, "were assigned to storm the heights of the village in the night to today." It is he who assigned them. His light blue, slightly watery eyes which I see before me give no hint that this man once stood next to a telephone, with maps, sketches, pencils and aide-de-camps before him, and shouted an order into the mouthpiece with an excited voice. "Will you see to it...!" the voice said. Then he hung up. The following morning 8,472 men fell on our side. They got their mass grave. The general got a decoration.
Kurt Tucholsky, Der General im Salon (1924)

"Odd," said a fellow veteran of World War II, "that Bush and Cheney are so delighted to put us to war when, during Vietnam, they were what we both used to call draft dodgers." But then we agreed that in our politics the sissies are always cheerleading the real guys to go give their lives. Real soldiers like Colin Powell are less gung-ho.
Gore Vidal, Dreaming War


Example of: