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Quotes / Applied Phlebotinum

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Raiden: Why won't you die!?
Senator Armstrong: (Evil Laugh) NANOMACHINES, SON!

Nick Naylor: Cigarettes in space?
Jeff Megall: It's the final frontier, Nick.
Nick Naylor: But wouldn't they blow up in an all-oxygen environment?
Jeff Megall: (Beat) Probably. But, you know, it's an easy fix. One line of dialogue: 'Thank God we created the, you know, whatever device.'

"What, this incident? It's because of plasma. Plasma explains everything."
Professor Otsuki, Shin Megami Tensei if...

"These particular ones are driven by the Russians discovering a mysterious new element called element 99 which can manipulate time and space as well as mutate living things into zombies, Gamera or anything in between... and can no doubt also tenderize meat, shine your shoes, and whatever else is convenient."

"This is Lucrecia, Sephiroth's mom. Due to her being injected with Jenova Cells, she's become immortal or something."

"One final thing that, of course, has to be commented on: the destruction of the sonic screwdriver. The reasoning behind it, stated ad nauseum by John Nathan-Turner over the course of his career, is that the sonic screwdriver was a cheat that made the Doctor too powerful and encouraged lazy scriptwriting... If anything the sonic screwdriver discouraged lazy scriptwriting because it made it harder to justify putting the Doctor in an endless sequence of captures and escapes. It dramatically reduced the amount of stupid padding that could be shoved into a story, and it does so even more in its modern day version as a tool that can accomplish anything so long as it wouldn’t be more interesting to do it another way. But as of The Visitation lazy scriptwriters can now stretch episodes out with lengthy amounts of fiddling with wires manually. Thrilling. What an improvement."

Dumbest uses of Kryptonite:

Blowing up Kryptonian spaceships
Powering cars
Sending telephone calls into the past
Plastic surgery
Love potion gatorade
A serum which kills people, before bringing them back to life (Why not use a sedative?)
Green K perfume as an antidote for Red K lipstick
Combination truth serum, sedative, and memory enhancer
Kryptonite Stride gum
The decorative Kryptonite watch band
The Krypto-Death shower for Davis
To counterfeit money.
Again as a memory enhancer/brain wave syncing catalyst (the first time wasn't apparently enough)
Causes super hypnosis
Neal Bailey, "The Smallville K.O. Count"

Chris: Lex Luthor smooth rolls up into the Fortress and steals everything that isn’t nailed down, namely all of the crystals containing Jor-El’s Floating Head. Because what else are you going to use to build your new continent?
David: Did they not have water on Krypton? How did they not constantly activate these things? “Lax-Ar tragically died swimming this morning when he left his crystal cellphone in his pocket, forming a new continent.”
Chris Sims and David Uzumeri on Superman Returns

"Blah blah blah, this is what we have to do next because horcrux, Hellmouth, tachyon pulse."
Fred Clark, talking about the second Left Behind movie

Screenwriter: So he gets approached by the CIA to help find this Russian scientist guy who's invented a bioweapon involving nanobots.
Producer: Nanobots?
Screenwriter: Yeah, so it's this thing where if you write "nanobots" in a script they can do whatever you want and you don't really have to explain it.