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Quotes / Anachronism Stew

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Kung Fury: What year is this?
Barbarianna: It's The Viking Age.
Kung Fury: That explains the laser Raptors.

"It's bloody weird having half the Tudor nobility riding around on MOTORIZED BICYCLES!"
Queen Elizabeth I, Monty Python's Flying Circus

Arklon: Why should I, Lord Arklon, maximum ruler of Arok, be any concern of yours?
Lyranna: Chill out, Lord Dude.

"This work of fiction is not an accurate historical portrayal... LIKE WE GIVE A F@%#! Now shut up and enjoy the show!"

Mickey: What's a horse doing on a spaceship?
Doctor: Mickey, what's eighteenth-century France doing on a spaceship? Get a little perspective!
Doctor Who, "The Girl in the Fireplace"

Sheldon: Let's be clear: It's a Wonderful Life is the best Christmas movie ever made.
Arthur: Hands down.
Sheldon: But... you watch it enough times, and you start to have serious questions about some parts in the movie.
Arthur: Like the gym floor that opens up to a pool! A what? With the WHAT??
Sheldon: This was a high school, people!
Arthur: A high school in the 1920's!
Sheldon: And you're telling us they could afford a gigant-o retractable floor? A floor that was like 10 feet thick?
Arthur: You couldn't even find a school NOW that could afford it.
Sheldon: Seriously! Try it! Find ONE school in America that has that! Even one!
Arthur: Then pop that school in the mouth.

"Defining moment? I dunno. I suppose it was going for the wardrobe fitting, having been cast in a science fiction show, and thinking, 'Omigod, I'm gonna look horrible in lycra.' And luckily, they dressed me as if I was gonna play Hamlet!"

"Exactly where he got his text we do not know. Most Greek scholars that I've talked to seem unaware that Iphigenia ever was in Brooklyn."
Peter Schickele, on P.D.Q. Bach's Iphigenia in Brooklyn

"Admitting that genius which has familiarized itself with all the relics of an ancient period can sometimes, by the force of its sympathetic divination, restore the missing notes in the 'music of humanity,' and reconstruct the fragments into a whole which will really bring the remote past nearer to us, and interpret it to our duller apprehension,—this form of imaginative power must always be among the very rarest, because it demands as much accurate and minute knowledge as creative vigour. Yet we find ladies constantly choosing to make their mental mediocrity more conspicuous, by clothing it in a masquerade of ancient names; by putting their feeble sentimentality into the mouths of Roman vestals or Egyptian princesses, and attributing their rhetorical arguments to Jewish high-priests and Greek philosophers."

"Know you not, Miss Bennet, that Mr. Darcy has been freestyle disco champion of all Derbyshire these last eleven years?"
That Mitchell and Webb Look, "Posh Dancing"

T-Rex: F-Forsooth

"A coal-powered bullet train. That's progress."
Ling-Ling, Guilty Party

"It’s 2009, and we happen to be very proud of that. The Dark Knight’s just come out on Blu-Ray, La Roux’s firmly in the charts, and dinosaurs remain a problem. So get used to it, you fucking div! Now, let’s hop on our Penny Farthings and solve some crimes."

Pat: Hey, you wanna know what was an awesome weapon used in the sixteen-hundreds?
Mat: What?
Mat: YEAH!
Pat: Yeah, in Western Civ we learned all about the ring-blade wars.
Mat: France versus Acapulco! In the ring-blade wars!

Meredith Vieira: Crowds lined the Mall today as the Holy Roman Emperor Winston Churchill returned to the Buckingham Senate on his personal mammoth.
Doctor Who, "The Wedding of River Song"

Book Seller: Every book you could ever want! And reasonably priced, too!
Elizabeth: Do you have "The Age of Innocence" by Edith Wharton?
Book Seller: I'm sorry, cherie, but that has not been written yet
Burial at Sea Episode 2

"And we fought dinosaurs! In the Ice Age! It didn't make a lot of sense, but it was fun!"

"I only have one question. How does it know it's called a duckbill if ducks don't exist yet?"

"How gorgeous would that be: a 20th Century police box on the surface of an alien planet!"

"This is a love comedy, remember? This world needs to prioritize love and comedy. If detailed historical accuracy would get in the way of the love comedy aspects, the laws of this world will ensure that historical accuracy is thrown out!!"

"Merlyn took off the sailor hat which had just appeared and held it out for inspection. 'This is an anachronism,' he said severely. 'That is what it is, a beastly anachronism.'"

"That was Division 13 of Baker Company singing a song that won't be a hit for another thirty years."

"I know this is a strange question in 1588, but does your mercy have a personal computer?"
Julián Martínez, The Ministry of Time


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