Who in their right mind would want an abandoned amusement park on a godforsaken island in the Atlantic? Aside from Nathaniel Winter, of course. Yeah, that Nathaniel Winter
. Millionaire, mogul... also, as it turns out, theme park tycoon. Nathaniel brought me up here during construction, and even then there were accidents: workers falling to their deaths, equipment malfunctioning as soon as it was turned on, strange whispers
at night - according to the crew - coming from the rides themselves. But he was a stubborn son of a bitch, my father. The park opened, against all odds, right on schedule. The whole island showed up for the ribbon cutting... but the accidents continued: a roller coaster derailed, killing a family of three; a ten-year-old kid was found... dismembered, behind the cotton candy stand; an employee in a chipmunk costume went berserk
, stabbing two teenagers in the eye. By 1980, Nathaniel was forced to shut it all down
Hailey: Hello, you've reached Playland, the perfect place for family fun! How may I help you?
I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid your daughter wanted to stay with us
. You can always visit, though. Just let us know and we'll send you two complementary tickets!
Tricks up our sleeve
Many will enter
"The Theme Park Witchyworld is closed due to an appalling safety record. Once the authorities have been bribed we will reopen soon. Thank You."
"Anyone who rides all the quality attractions and survives are entitled to join the Witchyworld Fan club. Current Club Members - 0"
"The management accepts no responsibility for the thieving pickpockets that it employs within Witchyworld."