Quotes / Amusement Park of Doom

"Who in their right mind would want an abandoned amusement park on a godforsaken island in the Atlantic? Aside from Nathaniel Winter, of course. Yeah, that Nathaniel Winter. Millionaire, mogul... also, as it turns out, theme park tycoon. Nathaniel brought me up here during construction, and even then, there were accidents: workers falling to their deaths, equipment malfunctioning as soon as it was turned on, strange whispers at night — according to the crew — coming from the rides themselves. But he was a stubborn son of a bitch, my father. The park opened, against all odds, right on schedule. The whole island showed up for the ribbon cutting... but the accidents continued: a roller coaster derailed, killing a family of three; a ten-year-old kid was found... dismembered, behind the cotton candy stand; an employee in a chipmunk costume went berserk, stabbing two teenagers in the eye. By 1980, Nathaniel was forced to shut it all down."

— Nicholas Winter, The Secret World

Hailey: Hello, you've reached Playland, the perfect place for family fun! How may I help you?
Unidentified Male Voice: I want my daughter back.
Hailey: I'm sorry, sir, but I'm afraid your daughter wanted to stay with us. You can always visit, though. Just let us know and we'll send you two complementary tickets!

— SCP Foundation, SCP-1357

Horrorland, Horrorland
Tricks up our sleeve
Many will enter
Nobody leaves...

— Riddle Wall, Escape from Horrorland

"The Theme Park Witchyworld is closed due to an appalling safety record. Once the authorities have been bribed we will reopen soon. Thank You."
"Anyone who rides all the quality attractions and survives are entitled to join the Witchyworld Fan club. Current Club Members — 0"
"The management accepts no responsibility for the thieving pickpockets that it employs within Witchyworld."

— Signposts outside Witchyworld entrance, Banjo-Tooie

Dr. Starline: May I ask a question about your methods, sir?
Dr. Eggman: You may.
Dr. Starline: Why all the theme parks?
Dr. Eggman: I like theme parks.
Dr. Starline: Yes, but... they aren't remotely practical. All that time, all those resources, could be used more... ergonomically.
Dr. Eggman: I don't settle for the world as it is, doctor. I make it what I want it to be. If I want my enemies' last moments to be carousel music and the smell of petroleum-based cotton candy, that's what I'll make happen.
Dr. Starline: Words to live by, sir!

— Sonic the Hedgehog (IDW), Imposter Syndrome

They warned you, "Stay Away"
We whisper, "Come and play."
Now you're here, then why not stay
At the Darkmoon Faire?

Though things aren't as they seem.
Just ignore those eyes that gleam
Come laugh and maybe scream
At the Darkmoon Faire…

You may think you're dreaming.
Flying on our carousel…
Surely there's nobody scheming
Or putting you under a spell…
Hahaha! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Shadows dance in bounding leaps!
Waking up the thing that sleeps!
Right behind you something creeps…
And MOVES in the night!
With a dreadful delight at the…
Dark!
MOON!
FAIRE! HAHAHAHAHA!

—Madness at the Darkmoon Faire, Hearthstone: Heroes of Warcraft

---