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*narration* The secret is out. For decades your organization stayed in the shadows. Hiding the truth. But now we know...they're among us. Heroes...and monsters. The world is full of wonders. We can't explain everything we see. But our eyes are open. So what now? There are no more shadows or you to hide in. Something impossible just happened. What are you going to do about it?
The battle of New York was the end of the world. This... now... is the new world. People are different. They have access to tech, to formulas, secrets they're not ready for.
Sorry, this corner was really dark and I couldn't help myself. (beat)
I think a bulb is out or something.
I don't think Thor is... technically a god
Then you haven't been near his arms.
: With great power comes... a ton of weird crap that you are not prepared to deal with.
What does "S.H.I.E.L.D." stand for, Agent Ward? Ward:
Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division. Hill:
And what does that mean to you? Ward:
It means someone really wanted our initials to spell out "SHIELD." [Hill gives him a look]
It means we're the line between the world and the much weirder world. We protect people from news they aren't ready to hear. And when we can't do that, we keep them safe.
There are two ways we can do this. Skye: [mocking]
Ooh, is one of them the easy
way? Ward: No. Skye:
I'm sorry. I was trained from day one as a specialist. I go in alone. I get it done. Defusing a nuclear bomb... I'm your guy. A welcoming committee? Not my speed. Coulson:
I know it's not what you want. Agent Hill did a very detailed assessment of your last three missions. Combat? Top grades. Espionage? She gave you the highest marks since Romanoff. Under "people skills" she drew a... I think it's a little poop with knives sticking out of it.
Skye? Girl's not qualified to be a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. Coulson:
Agreed. That's why I've invited her on as a consultant. S.H.I.E.L.D. does it all the time. Technically, Stark's a consultant. Ward:
And technically, Skye's a member of the Rising Tide. She hacked our RSA implementation. Coulson:
Twice. From a laptop. Imagine what she'll do with our resources. Ward:
I am. That's exactly what I'm imagining during this frown. You brought me on for risk assessment. She's a risk. She doesn't think like us. Coulson:
I'm calling this. But your frown will be on record.
: We should warn the people who live around here if the 0-8-4 is dangerous. They're already dealing with anti mining rebels and the shining path guerillas. I could post something. Coulson:
Remember the panic when that anti matter meteor splashed down just off the coast of Miami, nearly devoured the city? Skye:
Precisely. Because we kept it quiet and contained. Skye:
So, what am I doing? Coulson:
Well, if it gets out, I might need you to create some kind of diversion, put the public on the wrong scent. Skye:
So everything that I'm against. Coulson:
Really? Really, Coulson? Six days? It only took you six days to take a completely renovated piece of state of the art machinery and turn it into scrap
My team acted with my authority. Fury:
Dont talk to me about authority. Do you know how much this plane costs? It's got a bar! ...a really nice one. Talking to me about authority; you know I have the authority to downgrade your ass to a Winnebago!
Your renewed idealism, your collectibles, your airborne man cave, surrounding yourself with young, attractive agents...(pats him on the thigh) you're having a mid-life crisis. Coulson
: More like an afterlife thing, really. Reyes
: And I'm not even going to mention the red corvette. Coulson
: Her name is Lola. Reyes:
Of course it is.
What's first? We can't get upstairs without going in the lab. Simmons:
And the only way to release the lab doors is from upstairs. Skye:
The first thing is, we're tied to the cargo door, so unless you can — May:
What the hell was that? Ward: Her wrist
Quinn: [after Skye takes his gun]
Do you have what it takes to pull the trigger? Skye:
...nope. [jumps out the window
Quinn: SHIELD's against everything you stand for. They're Big Brother.
Skye: Maybe... but they're the nice Big Brother who stands up for his helpless little brother who is getting beat up, because... he ate a piece of cake... that he wasn't ... and, you know—You kidnapped a person!
Ward: I'll finish, whatever it takes.
The Englishman's Message: Seduce him.
The Beginning Of The End
Why would you make me do this? You're my best friend in the world! Fitz:
Yeah, and you're more than that, Jemma. But I couldn't find the courage to tell you. So please, let me show you.
You hear the dying breath of an old world, general. But a new world is coming. I've tasted it on my tongue. General:
is your strategy consultant? Quinn:
He's part time.
Fury: You didn't tell me he'd gone this crazy.
Coulson: He's really stepped it up a notch.
Coulson: I know it was a risk, if we went down today it would probably be for good. But now we have a chance to survive. We have soldiers willing to sacrifice, but they need weapons. The enemy has the advantage, we need one of our own.
Mack: You'll risk that for a Quinjet?
Coulson: No, for what we could do with one, disappear, become ghosts. That's how we have to live now, in the shadows to save people, even when they don't know it, don't want it.
The Things We Bury
Listen to yourself, just listen to yourself! You twist every act, and blame it on somebody else!
Mom and Dad were terrible, but they didn't put the match in your hand when you burnt down that damn house! And I didn't squeeze the trigger when you
killed all those people! Grant Ward:
No... it is my fault. I let you all hollow me out, control me. Christian Ward:
Spare the non-apology. I'm a senator.
What They Became
Raina: Your whole life, our whole lives have been leading to this moment... we finally get to find out what we become.
S.O.S. (Part 1)
Alisha: "I'm headed down to secure the armory. I'm also upstairs in the conference room."
S.O.S. (Part 2)
Mack: You're Gordon, right?
Gordon: Who are you?
I'm the guy who kills Gordon.
We have to do this. We don't have a choice. It may feel like things have cooled down right now, but this
is my permanent reminder that we'll always be paying the price. That we'll never get ahead of the consequences, that I, that you, that S.H.I.E.L.D. have set in motion. Skye:
Like a ripple in the water. Coulson:
But this ripple won't fade. It'll grow, and grow, until it's a tidal wave.
Laws of Nature
Daisy: This is my partner, Mack- we're just going to talk.
Joey Gutierrez: [to Mack] So- she's the greeting party, and you're the muscle, huh?
Mack: Believe me- she is the muscle.
Many Heads, One Tale
Fitz: Do you love him?
Simmons: I don't know. I think... yes.
Fitz: Yeah, of course you do. He's strong and smart. And you gave each other hope on the edge of nowhere.
Simmons: Don't do this Fitz.
Fitz: You think I didn't look for dirt on him? I did, and there's nothing. I can't hate him, he's great. Why else would you fall for him? He did everything right.
Simmons: And you dove through a hole in the universe for me.
Ward: Saw something terrible today. When I say "terrible," I mean ancient and powerful. It's changed how I see things. I've never believed I was worth anything... that what I said or did had any meaning. Maybe that's why I'm a spy. Or why I agreed to come here.
Coulson: If you're trying to talk me out of this, you can save your breath.
Ward: I'm not looking for mercy or absolution. I just want you to know, I've been where you are right now. Filled with rage, wanting revenge... I chose Hydra for petty, personal, selfish reasons... for a father figure, for vengeance... for closure. But what I saw today gave my life meaning. For the first time ever, I have a sense of satisfaction that I never experienced when I was seeking revenge.
The Inside Man
May: Great. Coulson's in trouble, this place is crawling with armed Hydra agents, and we have no weapons.
Hunter: Not strictly true. [reveals batons and guns he was hiding in a serving tray] Buon appetito.
Bobbi: I love you.
May: I don't hate you quite as much.
Hunter: Bobbi and I were on holiday picking mushrooms...
Inspector Duval: In the woods of Siberia in the dead of winter.
Hunter: Do you know a better place to find the jumbo chaga mushroom? Because I certainly do not.
Duval: You were caught with a weapon standing over a dead man.
Hunter: An unfortunate circumstance.
Mack: [observing the imploded building] Do we take this to bring back with us? Study it?
Fitz: Uh, yeah, sure. Have you been working out? 'Cause it weighs, like, 100,000 tons. It's a building.
Mack: So... no, then.
You think I'm not romantic? I'm gonna do something with you on that island that will take your breath away. Fitz:
What is... eh... are... are you... what? Simmons:
Daisy: When Hive takes over a body, he steals that person's memories. That's as close to stealing a soul as you can get.
Mack: "Memory is the scribe of the soul."
Daisy: The Bible?
Mack: Aristotle. What? I have dimensions.
You know, killing me won't make the pain go away. Or will it? I can't remember. Daisy:
I don't want you to die. I want you to suffer.
Now all we have to do is decide who goes and who stays to hold off a wave of primates and Hive the Terrible. Mack:
Well, I'd like to be in the fight. [pulls out shotgun-axe]
Built this damn thing for a reason.
Lincoln: Well, I got to see the world.
Hive: It's beautiful. Smaller than you imagine.
Hive: I only wanted to make it better.
Lincoln: I know.
Hive: To feel a connection. But you must feel that already. To sacrifice for them...with all their flaws.
Lincoln: They're only human.
Let Me Stand Next To Your Fire
James: [Robbie catches James' flaming chain] I don't know who the hell you are, but you just made a big mistake.
Robbie: Funny, I was gonna say the same thing, without the accent.
The Good Samaritan
Now this is the part I never told you, the thing I try to hide. When I was thrown from the car I begged God, I begged the universe, I begged anyone who would listen that you be spared. I swore that I'd give anything to save you. Daisy:
Don't stop there. Then what? Robbie:
Well then I hit the street, and I died. Then there's nothing. It's just darkness. Then I heard a voice. It was asking me if I wanted a second chance, did I want to punish those who hurt my brother? Did I want to avenge my own death? I answered yes, more than anything, yes. I was alive again. And you're right, there was someone there when I came to, but it wasn't a Good Samaritan, it was the Devil. Whatever was inside him, he passed it into me. Gabriel Reyes: Ghost Rider
Lucy Bauer: Am I supposed to be afraid of you?
Robbie: My uncle is Eli Morrow.
Lucy: Of course. I've seen your picture. You're his nephew, Gabriel. Like the angel.
Robbie: No. [his eyes light up with fire] I'm the other one.
Deals With Our Devils
My job is to keep people safe. Jeffrey Mace:
Mine too ... So, first we sharpen the axe and then we chop the tree. Mack:
My axe is plenty sharp ... and a shotgun
Radcliffe: I'm building an inter-dimensional gateway with an android I've created. If this works, I could die happy.
May: We've put our faith in a robot who says she hears ghosts. If it fails, you might die quickly.
Mack: Radcliffe built a humanoid robot that's about to attack the base.
Yo-Yo: Why would he do that? Has he watched no American movies from the Eighties? Robots always attack.
Mack: I've been saying that all day.
Yo-Yo: Smart people are stupid.
Mack: Alright, gear up. The robot apocalypse is finally here.
AIDA: [entering the room]
Hello, Agent May. [May turns around]
Congratulations, you got further this time than your previous attempts at this course. May:
What is this? AIDA:
We call it "The Framework." Your journey to escape Dr. Radcliffe's lab, our fight, all of this, is a simulation. I assure you, you're safe, we've moved you to another location. May:
You've put this in my head. AIDA:
Dr. Radcliffe knew the best way to keep you busy was to give you something to fight. May:
Something like you. AIDA:
Yes, but this is the program's end. We're coding more, but we can't keep up with you. You keep getting through it faster. I'll wipe your memory and send you through again. May:
You wipe my memory, but I get better every time. AIDA:
Yes, memory traces. May: So I'm beating it, and I'll get out eventually, beat you.
Hot Potato Soup
Terrence Shockley: The one who comes in this room next won't be me. The man who comes in here will do things to you that I can't even watch. He will break you.
Billy Koenig: Yeah, well, Koenigs don't break. All right? We're programmed to take pain, so bring it on! Bring it on! [Shockley leaves] Oh, my God. I'm in so much pain. I don't think I can take this. That guy hits really hard.
So, we fight our way through the trained military personnel, then the ultra-powerful android doubles of our friends, somehow make it to the Zephyr, which we can't fly, to escape the base and try to plug our minds into an alternate reality. Daisy:
Okay, well, don't say it out loud, because that made it sound way worse. Let's just keep it one thing at a time, okay?
LMD Coulson: [enters room to see LMD May by herself] I thought you said you had them. May? What did you do?
LMD May: What I wanted to.
LMD Coulson: Okay. Everything's under control. Let's just
LMD May: Whose control?
LMD Coulson: Why don't you and I have a glass of Scotch, or many, and talk this out, like we always do?
LMD May: "We"? We've never done that before. You were right. Our programming is different. Are you afraid to die? 'Cause I am. I know I'm not real. I'm all phantom limbs. But that doesn't make the pain less real.
LMD Coulson: You don't have to feel pain.
LMD May: You say you don't anymore. But that pain, that regret: that's what made you a person... a person I love. My programming was to get the Darkhold. That came from Radcliffe. But my impulse, to keep Coulson safe and close, that desire... that came from me.
LMD Coulson: That's good.
LMD May: And I'm sorry to say, you're not him. [triggers the explosives she's holding]
Wait, are you still dead? Simmons:
No, I'm feeling much better.
So, you're Hydra, and you've been protecting Skye? Ward:
Yeah. That's why I joined the Resistance. Simmons:
Oh, always the double agent. [to Daisy]
And this is who you woke up with? You two were together? Oh, this isn't the Framework. This is Hell
Daisy: Please, remember me!
Coulson: I'm sorry, I don't.
Daisy: It's not your fault. It's just... you're the person who I go to when things get heavy. And this world is scary, and nothing makes sense, and you're the closest thing I have to family. So I just hoped that deep down you'd feel it too.
Daisy: She said she took away one regret. One regret can't change an entire life. It doesn't change who you are.
Radcliffe: Of course it can. One person in your life, one decision, one sentence has the power to change you forever.
Daisy: One sentence?
Radcliffe: Yeah, that's right. One single sentence, like "I love you" or "We're having a baby" or "She's gone."
Daisy: I just... I didn't think Fitz is capable of doing something like that.
Radcliffe: Oh my dear, depending on the circumstances, anyone is capable of anything.
All the Madame's Men
Coulson: [broadcasting on National television] Good evening. As you all know, a Hydra facility was destroyed yesterday. Hydra told you that it was an act of terrorism. They told you an Inhuman named The Patriot murdered civilians. What they told you was a lie. We're going to show you what really happened. [rolls footage from May's body-cam] This footage was taken from the body-cam of a high-level Hydra operative. Hydra used this "enlightenment center" to brainwash anyone who dared to question them. Jeffrey Mace saved these people, but Hydra was willing to kill them just to maintain their lie. Once you see this footage, the truth is undeniable. Hydra doesn't think we're smart enough to know when we're being fed alternative facts, to keep us afraid, to keep them in power. Remember, there are more of us than there are of them. And now that we know the truth, we have a choice to make. We all have the opportunity to be Patriots, will you take a stand? Are you going to hold them accountable? Throughout history we've seen empires rise and fall
Agent Burrows: [at the broadcasting studio] There are people outside. [Bakshi smiles and Ward picks up his pistol] No, they're not Hydra. I think they're here to help us fight.
Coulson: wise man once told me that a person can do anything once they realize they're a part of something bigger. It's taking me a while to understand that. For years I was just a face in the crowd, a history teacher who spread Hydra's lies. They seemed too imposing for any one person to fight. But now... I'm choosing to stand up, to become a part of something bigger. I really do believe that together we can accomplish anything. Because the truth is... I'm not just a history teacher. My name is Phil Coulson, and I'm an Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.
General, I'm relieved that you're still alive. Talbot:
Three of my finest aren't so fortunate, and I have no idea what killed them. Coulson:
We lost good people, too. The short answer is they were murdered by a vanishing banshee made out of matter from another dimension. Talbot:
You expect me to put that in my report? Coulson:
I have a cybernetic hand. I've been to an another planet. This happens in S.H.I.E.L.D.
So you're saying Aida is made out the same stuff that made the Darkhold? Robbie:
Yeah. And the Rider wants to send them both back to where they came from. Daisy:
I hope that means hell. Robbie:
Hell is relative. Dimensions, space, planets - it's all connected. Plenty of them qualify as hell. The Earth is just one territory in a war that's been going on forever.
Radcliffe: [pouring himself a whiskey, sitting on the beach at sunset] This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang, but a [vanishes]
Orientation Part 1 & 2
Fury never said anything about deep space outposts being developed, did he? Coulson:
There was nothing like this in his black box. Yo-Yo:
So, wait, S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn't have a space division called S.P.E.A.R. or something? Coulson: [shakes head] Yo-Yo:
Really? I always thought you guys had people hiding on the moon.
Hunter: [Ghost Rider's] the strangest thing I've ever heard. Except for the sexy robot that you made that became human and wanted you to stick the old...
Hunter: ...floppy into her love drive.
Fitz: Can we not talk about this, please?
Hunter: Copy that. Message received. Well, my life has been perfectly boring by comparison. Mercenary work, working with unscrupulous dirtbags like Rusty.
Fitz: How are things with Bobbi?
Hunter: Good. Yeah. We're 100% compatible... 50% of the time. Nearly got married again, until the ninjas showed up.
Fitz: So... you are together?
Hunter: Together forever, just... doing our own thing. Distance is our savior. How about you and Simmons? Did you find a way to work it out?
Fitz: Distance is our curse.
Fun & Games
Fitz: I'm never leaving you again.
[They kiss. Fitz ICEs Sinara.]
Simmons: Then marry me, Fitz.
[FitzSimmons help a concussed Daisy stand up]
Simmons: Okay, come on.
Fitz: Also, um, just to say, I did propose earlier, when Kasius had your hearing turned off.
Simmons: [sarcastically] Oh, of course you did.
Fitz: No, I... Seriously, I did.
Together or Not At All
My name is Enoch. Fitz sent me. May:
Fitz? How were you not eaten by those things? Enoch:
They have no interest in me, as I have no tender insides for them to extract. May: [angrily]
I thought Fitz was done building robots. Enoch:
I am not a robot. I am a sentient Chronicom from the constellation you know as Cygnus. I am here to aid you, you who will save humanity: Melinda May, Jemma Simmons, Phillip J. Coulson...
Fitz: Okay, if you guys really are gonna go fight a bunch of alien warriors, then you might be interested to know that, in the past, I hid a crate of S.H.I.E.L.D. tech in a wall on the base.
Mack: Oh, that's what I'm talking about. Thanks, Turbo.
Fitz: Level three.
Mack: Oh, you got to be kidding me.
Yo-Yo: You mean the level infested with aliens that suck your blood?
Fitz: Well, how was I... I feel like I'm not getting enough credit here. I have traveled through time and space to find you. I think we're moving past that bit a little bit too quickly.
Best Laid Plans
Coulson: An old woman tells you that she was your daughter and that you'll save the planet from cracking apart. Doesn't happen every day.
May: It's hard to believe.
Coulson: That we can do it?
May: That... I was a mom. I just... I can't see it.
Coulson: I can.
Daisy: Yeah. You'd be that no phone, no TV, 7:30 curfew kind of mom. [May scowls] You're kind of... proving my point with the face.
Deke: Guns, man! It's like cheating! They shouldn't give these to anyone that's not a really, really good person.
May: You think there'd be a law.
All the Comforts of Home
Hey, could be worse. Simmons:
True. We could be enslaved by an alien sociopath in a dystopian future. Mack:
Or we could be trapped inside a virtual-reality fascist state. Fitz:
Or stuck at the bottom of the ocean. Yo-Yo:
Or stopping a crazy robot lady. Simmons:
Or falling out of a plane. Mack:
Fighting Daisy's mom. Coulson:
Or fighting Daisy's dad. May:
Daisy: I thought you'd be, like, emotionally distraught or something.
Deke: Emotionally distraught? This is awesome! I thought that I was gonna die. But instead, I'm about to go for a walk outside. Also, there is "an outside." I was walking here, and, yes, I was pretty drunk, but I... I saw in a store window there was these green apples and steaks and these... and these things called gummy bears. You know what people aren't eating here is sterilization pellets. I love this place so much.
The Real Deal
The last thing you need is to waste your time on another lost cause. May:
Who I waste my time on is for me
Nightmare? This whole thing has been a dream.
And every time the dream is too random or doesn't reconcile with a memory, your mind creates a scenario to make it work. Coulson:
See, now you're losing me. Mike Peterson:
What does that even mean? You really think your skull is caught on fire, Phil? Or does it hurt to have electrodes on your scalp for this long? You think there was an alternate reality where you were a history teacher? Or were you remembering your father, who was a history teacher? Coulson:
Okay, stop. Mike Peterson:
You're reliving mementos of your life mixed with the dreams you wish had come true. Coulson:
No, Mike. This is fear. I thought I'd come to terms with death, but this is my fear of it manifesting, because it's harder to let go of than I thought it would be. Mike Peterson:
Yes. You're struggling to let go. At least now you admit you're dying. What's the hardest part? Coulson:
The life I have yet to live. Mike Peterson:
And that's why your mind created this story, where you spent years doing all the things you never got a chance to do... to vacation on a white beach with blue water. To travel to the stars. To own your own plane, a car that flies, your own team. To have a family. The brilliant students you never got a chance to mentor. The daughter you never had. And above all, a chance to be a hero. You said it yourself, Coulson. It matters who you are.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today for a moment we all knew was coming, some of us even before these two did, and I think we can all agree that to wait even one second to do this is playing with fire. All in favor? Everyone:
The ayes have it. So, all right. Time for the exchanging of the vows, I guess. Simmons: [Pulls out a piece of paper]
I had to write it down. Fitz. I knew from the moment I saw you, from our first conversation about dielectric polarization, that you'd be in my life for a long time. But I didn't know... you would be my life. My heart. My home. We joined this team for adventures and got more than we had hoped... but I can't wait for our next adventure... building a family together. My love for you grows deeper and always will, no matter where the universe takes us next. Coulson:
Agent Fitz? Fitz:
Um. Okay. Um. I have been thinking about what to say. Uh. Just... Words don't really seem enough. Here. I think that you are perfect. And, um... I don't deserve you, Jemma. I don't. I don't deserve you. And I'm well-aware that I'm the luckiest man on any planet. Coulson:
Okay. Let's have the rings. Quickly, please, before this forest collapses around us. Okay, Fitz, repeat after me. "With this ring..." Fitz:
With this ring... Coulson:
...I thee wed. Fitz:
...I thee wed.
So, you got the rings, huh? It's a nice one. Deke:
Turns out a lot of people pawn wedding rings. I had to find one that was gonna be small enough for his little-boy fingers. And then, for hers, found this ring that looks just like this one that my mom used to wear sometimes. It was my grandma's, I think.
The Devil Complex
Simmons: How long have you been seeing him?
Fitz: My mind's been through a lot. Been hearing him for a while now. Since we left the Framework. Only just started seeing him.
Simmons: It's your injury acting up. You used to see me, too, when I wasn't there.
Fitz: You were my conscience.
Simmons: Then what was he? You had a psychic split. But that dark persona, that's not you.
Fitz: It is me. It's not an apparition. It's not some evil doppelganger. It. Was. Me.
Rise and Shine
Fitz: He's my... our... grandson?
Fitz: But... he's the worst.
Simmons: I think he's perfect. Plus, his very existence proves that you and I make it to the Lighthouse... and live long enough to raise a daughter. Do you see what this means?
Fitz: Yeah, I do. It means that our daughter's obviously gonna marry some belligerent space goon if she's gonna give birth to a Deke?
Simmons: No, Fitz. It means you and I are invincible.
Coulson: General Hale. I know you're bummed the whole team-up thing isn't gonna happen. But it still seems kind of petty, taking away my cot... my chair... and my Cap'n Crunch. That last one really hurt. And you're gonna destroy the Earth, so...
Fitz: [To Yo-Yo] We have a rule.
Simmons: We never leave each other's side anymore.
Fitz: [To Simmons] I'm sorry you never got the honeymoon you dreamed of.
Simmons: Nonsense. I'm protecting England from evil robots with the man I love.
All Roads Lead...
Deke: Just for grins, say I were interested... in someone... anyone. How would I... Like, you got a good thing going.
Mack: Don't look at me. Last time I saw Yo-Yo, she lied to me, locked me up, and ran off.
Coulson: Sorry, bro. Apparently, I'm incapable of expressing my feelings or letting people take care of me.
Deke: You guys are useless. It's lemons, then.
Coulson: Come again?
Deke: Well, in my day, when you wanted to tell someone how you felt, you'd just save up your tokens, you'd buy a lemon, you leave it on their bunk. That's... That's a thing here, right?
Coulson: ...One hundred percent.
Mack: Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Coulson: When in doubt, get a bunch of lemons.
The Force of Gravity
That's the same writing that was in the Lighthouse in the future. What's it say, Deke? Deke:
How would I know? Coulson:
Because you lived there. Deke:
Well, they don't teach you the language. I can count to five. Coulson:
You lived there for decades, and you know five numbers?! Deke: [defensively]
I also know "zero", so no, I know six
I'm amazed you were able to survive.
You have just sealed the fate of everyone in your base. And now you will die. [launches missiles] May:
Well, one little thing. We changed the target. Told ya I didn't need a gun to stop you. Qovas: [sees the missiles heading right back toward his ship]
How? Deke: I know "zero".
Mack: Remember how good it felt to walk in here when we first got back? The Zephyr has been the one place we've been able to call home these last few years.
Daisy: I'll always miss the Bus.
May: Me, too.
Elena: I wish I would've known you guys back then.
Simmons: We were different people back then.
Coulson: I spent a lot of years, sorry. I've lived a life surrounded by heroes. None bigger than all of you. Since the day you joined, same as anyone in the line of duty. Heroes, because you, because we sign up to lose each other. To get close to good people and have them taken away. We've all suffered losses. Never lose sight of that.
Daisy: I never forget those we've lost.
May: That's right.
Mack: Yeah. That's why we're putting that badge up in the cockpit. To never forget.
Coulson: You don't have to forget. But you have to move on.
Simmons: No. With respect, sir, you're wrong. We don't move on. We hold that place in our heart, we close it off, we lock the door, we visit from time to time, but we don't move on. Even after we say goodbye.
Fear and Loathing on the Planet of Kitson
Daisy: Do you remember when we first met?
Simmons: Yeah. You lived in a van.
Simmons: And it really smelled.
Daisy: No, it didn't.
Simmons: Yeah. We called it the Fartmobile. You had, You had big hair.
Daisy: You had big nerd face. What house are you in, hm? Gryffindor?
Simmons: Uh, Ravenclaw. Girl, please.
Daisy: Do you know any spells?
Simmons: [Waves a straw]
Expecto Patronum! [Hallucinates a miniature Fitz in a monkey costume balancing on the straw]
Hello, little monkey Fitz.
Simmons: Hey, I think my parents are mice.
Daisy: That makes sense.
Simmons: I'm sorry for dragging you across the universe.
Daisy: Oh, no, don't be. It's good. It's only made us closer.
Simmons: I just miss Fitz so much.
Daisy: Aw, yeah. I'm sorry. I wish I had my own Fitz. Well, not Fitz, but, you know...
Simmons: No, I know. You've had just awful luck in that department. It's so sad. But you are so strong now and so ->confident. I'm so proud of you.
Daisy: Really? It means so much coming from you.
Simmons: You just mean so much. You're my best friend.
Daisy: I love you, too.
Simmons: Your skin is so soft.
Fitz: You know, you hurt me just as much as I hurt you! I was dying on the inside when you left, abandoned me after my brain injury!
Simmons: Hey, that is not fair!
Fitz: And then you get taken away by some rock, only to fall in love with some bloody astronaut-
Simmons: I was alone on a desert planet!
Fitz: Who, turned out to be Hive, by the way! Oh and also, are we sure that that happened after you slept with him-
Simmons: Oh my god.
Fitz: Because hey, the jurys still out on that one!
Simmons: Oh, you wanna go there? At least he was a person!! You built a robot girlfriend!!
Fitz: Well, thats bending the truth.
Simmons: And left to your own devices turned into a Nazi dictator! Wait, is that- is that bending the truth? No, no its not!
Collision Course (Part 1)
May: What's her motive?
Sarge: Hatred. For all living things.
Daisy: What's yours?
Sarge: Love. [Pause] No, it's hate. That's my thing, too. Hate and revenge. She took my family from me. I won't stop until she pays for that.
May: Well, if she's that powerful, how can you kill her?
Sarge: There's only one way to kill the beast. [Holds a sword]
Daisy: A galaxy hopping hate-beast that eats planets, and you want to defeat her with a, um, sword?
Sarge: It's sharp. Feel it.
From the Ashes
Fitz: Maybe we could hyper-stimulate our brains with some sort of chemical, and that way, if she possesses us, she won't be able to put us into an unconscious state.
Simmons: You're suggesting we all take amphetamines.
Fitz: Yeah. Yeah, okay, fine. I can see how that would be counterproductive.
Fitz: No B.S. Foundation can hide the fact that you built this company not to advance science but to get rich!
Deke: I built this company because no one liked me!
Simmons: Deke, he didn't mean...
Deke: Yes, he did. I built it because I've never belonged anywhere, because the place that I'm from doesn't even exist anymore and because all of my friends are gone. And the woman that I gave lemons to thinks that I'm a loser, so I went out into the world to try and be what everybody wants me to be, and she still thinks that I'm nothing! And my best friend turned out to be a spy, and my girlfriend turned out to be a psychopath.
Simmons: Snowflake was not good for you.
Deke: I was talking about Sequoia. Oh. I mean, the family that I do have wants nothing to do with me.
Simmons: Deke, we care about you. We do.
Deke: You say that and you try to be nice, but you didn't even want me to know that Fitz died.
Simmons: I wanted to spare you the pain.
Deke: But I could've shared that with you. I could've helped. Even my own grandparents think I'm a joke.
Enoch: Sorry. This must be confusing, best friend. But I had to take bold action.
Enoch: I found that bluffing was much easier if you kill someone and take their skin. There is a second wave of Hunters coming. I have a strategy that will save your lives and the lives of your fellow Agents, but, unfortunately, time is of the essence. We must act now.
Fitz: Yeah, of course. What?
Enoch: This will be the hardest thing you have ever done.
Simmons: I doubt that.
Fitz: Nothing's ever easy with you, is it?
Simmons: What do we have to do?
Enoch: [Dramatically] Change the natural course of your lives forever.
[They have heard this before.]
Simmons: Oh, that again.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Daisy: I would say I need a drink but those are illegal now, aren't they?
Mack: Are there any other bombshells you want to drop, Agent Simmons?
Simmons: Yes. There is one. We have a problem that Fitz and I could not solve, but Enoch provided a possible solution. The Chronicom Hunters have Fury's Black Box as well as centuries of anthropological research to pull from. Our team needs an expert in S.H.I.E.L.D. history to have a chance of stopping them, to even know what the Hunters might target. I would ask May her opinion, but she's out of commission for the time being. The rest of us could vote, but truthfully, this decision should be left up to him. And he has already voiced his opposition to anything like this. He has all of his own memories and has been upgraded with complete knowledge of everything he's missed. He has Chronicom hardware, which makes him our most advanced LMD. And there is no better person to be your right hand, sir.
Simmons: I was deeply against it at first but the more I thought about it, the more I think he'd understand. I believe it's the right thing to do. And frankly, I miss him. So what do you think?
Mack: He would want us to consider the ramifications.
[Daisy presses a button. A door opens revealing an LMD of Coulson]
LMD Coulson: Hey, guys.
The New Deal
Deke: Navigating the past happens to be my specialty.
Yo-Yo: Last time, you got stupid drunk and ended up in jail.
Deke: That's not true. I was pleasantly drunk. It was hilarious.
Daisy: He'll be fine. It's Prohibition, so alcohol's illegal anyway.
Deke: It's what? Who would think that's a good idea? Even the Kree let us make our own boot juice.
Know Your Onions
Enoch: [after making a drink] It is my specialty. I call it a Barracoolada.
Koenig: Hmm. Ooh. That's a damn fine concoction.
Enoch: I do, as you say, know my onions.
Koenig: Oh, that, you do. You're hired. But I have a couple of conditions. First, I want to know more about this S.H.I.E.L.D. outfit. I feel like I could be a help there.
Enoch: Indeed, you will. As will this fine establishment. What is the second condition?
Koenig: I want to know all there is to know about robots.
Koenig: Whatever you call yourselves. I-I find it fascinating.
Enoch: As will your grandchildren.
Koenig: My... My grandchildren? Enoch... this looks like the start of a marvelous friendship.
Alien Commies from the Future!
Simmons: [Speaking to LMD Coulson] Getting to the bottom of this may be difficult. If the Chronicoms have infiltrated, they would all look and act exactly like this.
LMD Coulson: Okay, but now you're just trafficking in stereotypes.
Simmons: Well, I mean, perhaps. But until a more diverse population goes into STEM fields, I'm afraid... any one of them could easily be mistaken for a Chronicom.
LMD Coulson: True, but we don't have to test if they're Chronicoms. We just have to test if they're human. All we have to do is trigger an emotional response.
[Cut to: a montage as individual scientists sit down in front of them]
Simmons: [Speaking quickly holding up three fingers] How many fingers am I holding up? Nope, you're wrong...
Scientist #1: You didn't give me a chance...
Simmons: It was two fingers. Thank you.
[cut to: another scientist]
LMD Coulson: John Wayne. Bit overrated, don't you think? I mean, you're rugged, you're on a horse... who cares?
Scientist #2: Who cares? Who cares about John Wayne? America cares.
[cut to: another scientist]
Simmons: [In tears] She couldn't stay with Rick. She had to go with Victor. Haven't you ever made a sacrifice for someone you love?
Scientist #3: [on the verge of tears] Yes.
[cut to: another scientist]
LMD Coulson: How does it make you feel when I say the word "moist"? [Pause] Moist.
Scientist #4: P-Please stop.
Daniel Sousa: Agent Carter?
Simmons: In the flesh.
Sousa: Well. Glad to finally put a face to the name. I gotta say, I've waited a long time to meet the famous Agent Carter. But I'm surprised to find you here, running a security op in our little patch of desert.
Simmons: I apologize for the short notice, but we had to act quickly. I believe this base may have been infiltrated.
Sousa: No. Imagine that. An infiltrator, right under our noses.
Simmons: And you arrived just this morning, Agent...?
Sousa: Call me Daniel.
Simmons: Daniel. And where exactly did you materialize from?
Sousa: I just flew in from L.A.
Simmons: Oh, you work at the old SSR [Strategic Scientific Reserve] office.
Sousa: I'm in charge of it.
Simmons: Daniel, your surname wouldn't happen to be Sousa?
Sousa: It would.
Simmons: Which would make you the former colleague of Agent Peggy Carter.
Sousa: It would.
Simmons: I suppose you'll be arresting me now.
You got it all figured out, don't you?
Sousa: The lady pretending to be Carter? Worst fake accent you've ever heard.
Daisy: You should tell her that.
Out of the Past
Mack: It's easier to let a bad man live than to let a good man die.
LMD Coulson: That's catchy, and I wish I'd said it, but Agent Sousa's sacrifice was an inspiration to others in S.H.I.E.L.D.
Mack: Like yours was for the Avengers.
LMD Coulson: Well, let's not oversell it.
A Trout in the Milk
[The team is now in 1973. Sousa emerges from a clothing store still wearing his suit from 1955]
Daisy: What happened to blending in?
Sousa: I just don't understand the functional appeal of those... elephant... pants.
Daisy: You mean the bell-bottoms?
Sousa: Sure. How do people in your time function with all the extra fabric around their feet?
LMD Coulson: I got news for you. This isn't actually our time period.
Daisy: Well, fortunately, there's unfashionable squares in every decade, so you are... set.
Sousa: And nobody seems to look you in the eye now.
May: Wait 'til they all get cellphones.
Sousa: So, I was thinking, how do you guys know I was supposed to die in 1955?
LMD Coulson: It's in the history books.
Sousa: Yeah, but...but what if you always plucked me out of time? Does that mean I always survive? And if we end up in your present, will we even be in the same timeline?
I'd stop thinking about it. Your brains will spill out.
Enoch: Come with me if you want to continue to exist!
Daisy: Enoch, you're here.
Enoch: Yes. As I have been for the last 40 years. Now buckle up.
LMD Coulson: Sorry we left you behind, thanks for the lift, and sweet ride.
Enoch: Thank you. Consumer Reports gave this vehicle a five-star safety rating, and its fuel economy is best in class.
Adapt or Die
LMD Coulson: What's the difference between a Chronicom and a human?
Sibyl: Time. Humans have a limited amount of it and therefore fear death. They act irrationally to prevent themselves or others from experiencing death. Chronicoms cannot die. Time has no consequence. You should ask yourself which category you fall into.
LMD Coulson: So, that's the difference that makes your species more valuable.
Sibyl: Less fleeting. With a home planet intact, we will exist long after you're gone. Once you realize that, you'll give up. Or... you'll run out of...
LMD Coulson: ...Time. Yeah, you said that. I would argue that you're wrong about three things, if you don't mind.
LMD Coulson: First... the difference is sacrifice. Yeah, time is limited... which means sacrifice comes at a real cost... not just data. Heart and pain and blood and sweat and tears... all the good human stuff. And we will never give up.
Sibyl: You said I was wrong about three things. What's the third?
LMD Coulson: Me. You see, I haven't feared death for a long time.
Sibyl: Is that so?
LMD Coulson: Yeah. The fact is, dying... it's kind of my super power.
The Totally Excellent Adventures of Mack and the D
Deke: This isn't a cover band. The band is a cover. Director, I want to introduce you to The Deke Squad. That's Roxy Glass. She runs covert ops and tactical. Kind of the brains of the operation. Alright, y'all ready? Tommy and Ronnie Chang, a.k.a. The Chang Gang. Both masters of disguises, not to mention total honey pots. Olga Pachinko... resistance from the Balkans. Only speaks limited English, though she is fluent in the international language... demolitions. And finally, there's Cricket. Cricket's... well, I mean, mostly, we just really needed a drummer.
Mack: Wait, wait, wait. Didn't you tell me that dude was shady?
Deke: Yeah, but that was before I found out he had a steady job.
Mack: Doing what?
Deke: Selling coke. Although, I've never seen him drink any.
Mack: Look, I appreciate the effort you put in. I really do. But this is terrible spy-craft to be this high-profile.
Deke: Exactly. That's the whole point. Think about the practical applications. We move freely from town-to-town. Big cases of high tech "equipment" are part of the gig. And any strange behavior, they just chalk it up to drugs.
Mack: Like coke?
Deke: The drink? I don't follow.
Deke: Stand back. There's gonna be a big surge of electricity. Electricity's dangerous.
Sousa: Do I look like a Neanderthal to you?
Enoch: I spent time with a tribe of Neanderthals. Agent Sousa does not resemble one. He lacks the characteristic brow ridges.
As I Have Always Been
Daisy: You won't believe this, but I keep...
LMD Coulson: Repeating the same events over and over again? Yeah. How long did it take you to figure it out this time? I was really hoping not to have this conversation again, but if you forgot everything we went through, I guess that means you died again.
Daisy: I died?! Again?
LMD Coulson: And always say it just like that. We're the only two who remember, so each time you die in one of these loops, you don't remember anything in the next reset, so then you have to learn everything all over again.
Daisy: That's awful.
LMD Coulson: It's annoying. 'Cause who has to teach you every time? This guy. I've done it 14 times so far.
Daisy: We've done this 14 times?
LMD Coulson: Oh, no. No, no, no. You've died 14 times. We've been through this loop 87 times, or I should say 87 that I know about.
Daisy: That you know about?
'Cause you don't come power me up every time! It's okay. Not your fault. P.S., not a big fan of starting each loop powered down. Disconcerting.
May: Deke's dead?
Mack: Do we need to be sad about that?
Daisy: Every time I ask you for help, you say yes. Even if I don't ask, you're waiting here to make sure I rest or... whatever. Why? Be honest.
Sousa: Honest? I know your type.
Daisy: My what, now?
Sousa: I know people like you. Some of my favorite people are people like you. Focused on the greater good, even at your own expense. You want people to think you like being alone, even though you always end up back with friends. You hate losing.
Daisy: Everyone hates losing.
Sousa: Yeah, but you'll keep running at the problem full-tilt until you either solve it or slam headlong into a brick wall.
Daisy: Some of those walls are literal.
Sousa: I know.
Daisy: But how does that...
Sousa: Because when people like you run into those walls, you should have someone there to pick you back up.
Daisy: And you... you like to... be that someone?
Sousa: Not for everyone. It helps if they're fun to be around and if they say what they mean and if they have that superpower where they can rock things around, which is very impressive.
That's, um... that is awfully specific.
Enoch: In my thousands of years observing humans, I never used to feel lonely. I have been alone many times. To be candid, I preferred it. But it wasn't until I met this particular team of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents that being alone meant... feeling lonely. And I don't care for it. So, I am feeling, as you might expect, some anxiety now.
LMD Coulson: You don't have to. You're not alone. Daisy and I will stay with you right up to the end.
Enoch: That is very kind of you. But... it's that last part, isn't it? You can stay with me up to the end, but you can't come with me at the end. I will have to leave you. And I will have to do that alone. And I can't help wondering... when that happens... will I feel lonely?
LMD Coulson: I can say with some authority that you're not wrong. Dying is lonely. But the feeling is temporary... at least for the person dying. The ones who are left behind... less so. I guess that's the one advantage to going first.
Enoch: Yes. It's different, watching your friends go before you, isn't it? I have been through that, as well. It can be harder to stay than to leave. I'm sorry, Philip J. Coulson.
Daisy: Enoch, the team will carry on the mission. We will survive because of you. Thank you.
Enoch: You are most welcome. But, Agent Johnson, while your friends will indeed survive, the team will not.
Daisy: What do you mean?
Enoch: I have seen the future. Carry on this mission and cherish it, for it will be your last mission together.
Daisy: It... That's... That's not possible. I-I... Enoch, this is my family.
Enoch: Of course. Yet this is the nature of family, isn't it? I have seen it countless times on countless worlds. People arrive, so we celebrate, and people leave us, so we grieve. We do what we can with the time in between, but the cycle is always there. No one escapes it. Not even me.
LMD Coulson: Which means you're not alone. You're a part of that cycle.