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Pre Asskicking One Liner / Comic Books

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Your funeral, Superwoman
Pre-Asskicking One-Liners in comic books.

  • Aliens vs. Predator: One of Broken Tusk's borrowed phrases from Machiko becomes this as he takes one of his errant hunters to school:
    Machiko: (to Miriam Revna) You know rhynth temperament, right? I've got three thousand head that have been crammed into holding pens since last night — what kind of mood do you think they're in right now?
    Broken Tusk: (to wayward Predator) What kind of mood do you think they're in right now? (cue Megaton Punch)
  • In All Fall Down, the Ghoul delivers these, in the form of announcing the sin you're committing before he takes you out.
  • Annihilation: After several panels of House Fiyero desperately trying to save their sorry butts, Ronan just declares "Know that House Fiyero stands accused". The next shot is him walking calmly out of the room, alone.
  • The Authority: Midnighter does this a lot. Usually combined with a long-winded Badass Boast.
  • Batman:
    • In Detective Comics (Rebirth), this moment stands out:
      Colony Soldier: Heh. They sent you to fight all of us?
      Orphan: Yes.
    • In The Supergirl-Batgirl Plot, Barbara Gordon is not impressed by a crook's threats:
      Crook: "You shouldn't have got in the act, sister!"
      Batgirl: "Don't pull guns on a gal with a brown belt in Judo... Or you'll get a different kind of belt!"
    • Tacitly part of Robin's job, to the point that when a recently returned from the dead Jason Todd and the Batman of an alternate universe team up in a fight, the following happens:
      Batman: You used to crack jokes at times like these.
      Jason: Sorry, Batman... Now I just crack heads!
      Batman: Now that is funny!
  • In Avengers: The Children's Crusade, Young Avengers member Wiccan gets one when Carol Danvers tells him that his team isn't going to win against the Avengers. Right after his one-liner, a massive magical lightning bolt strikes down, knocking all of the Avengers senseless and teleporting his entire team to safety, halfway around the world.
    Carol: What are you doing, Wiccan?
    Wiccan: (calmly) I'm not entirely sure, Ms. Marvel. (his eyes glow blue) Brace yourself.
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  • Blaze of Glory: has many of these in its final issue. But the best are courtesy of the Outlaw Kid.
    C'mon, you owlhoots! C'mon! You want a piece of me?! C'mon!!! I may be bound for hell but I'm Taking You with Me!
  • In the indie comic Cool Jerk and HomoGal, Cool Jerk tries taglines with mixed results. For example, during a bank robbery: "Who are you?" "The substantial penalty for early withdrawal."
  • In Doctor Strange: The Oath, Wong gets a nice one when some armed robbers threaten him and Strange:
    Lead punk: Now give us everything you got!
    Wong(assuming a karate kata): I offer nothing less. (cue No-Holds-Barred Beatdown)
  • Discussed in Empowered. Thugboy thinks it's overrated, and Ninjette can't help — as she points out, this trope doesn't fit with Ninja stealthiness.
  • Empyre: Zombie Explody Boy to the Cotati.
    ''There were sixteen million mutants on this island who died and about two million of us were vegetarians."
  • The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers: In one story, Phineas gets confronted by a swarm of tiny clones of himself and produces a sword from Hammerspace.
    Phineas: "Taste the stainless blade of liberalism, you arrogant bunch of Stalinists!"
  • Fantastic Four: Ben Grim, AKA The Thing has his ever famous "It's clobberin' time!" shout whenever he gets into a fight. He even (poorly) translates it into French when he temporarily moves to Europe during Civil War.
  • Green Lantern storyline Sinestro Corps War has quite a few, a notable one, however...
    Sodam Yat as Ion: Now where were we?
    Superboy-Prime: Ion, huh? you act tough, but you don't look so special to me.
  • The Incredible Hulk:
    • "You're making me angry. You won't like me when I'm angry."
    • Hulk's "Hulk SMASH!" catchprase usually preceeds a brutal beatdown on whoever has pissed him off.
  • Iron Man #178 (the Assistant Editor's Month issue): After turning toward Blackie Donovan who had been impersonating him, Mikey tells him he isn't surprised he wasn't aware that Iron Man's armor included roller skates..."Because you have no idea what it means to be Iron Man!" before laying into him.
  • In The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past: Agahnim, when Link is going to unsuccessfully challenge him for the first time:
    Agahnim: "I will make you taste fear like you have never known!"
  • Mayflower: When Silence is arrested:
    Guard: Sir, she was carrying this. (holds up gun)
    Silence: Actually, I'm going to need that. (grabs it, firefight ensues)
  • Cosmo from Nova and Guardians of the Galaxy has a few.
    • In Nova, when fighting off a group of Brainwashed and Crazy superheroes.
      "Come on then, ugly zombies, if you think you can bite harder than a Russian dog."
    • In Guardians of the Galaxy, when one of his friends takes a bullet for him.
      That does it. That enough. No more Mr. Nice Dog. Now Cosmo will hurt everyone.
  • In The Avengers/New Avengers portion of Original Sin, after Captain America regains his erased memories of the Illuminati and what they have been doing, he confronts Iron Man over it. When Iron Man asks what he was going to do about it, Cap's response?
  • Jesse from Preacher gets a good one before going nuclear on a group of murderous fanatics:
    I owe you pissant white trash cocksucking sons of bitches all the hurt in the fuckin' world. So who wants to get his ass kicked first?
  • The Spectre has a TERRIFYING and startlingly literal one when he first bonds with Jim Corrigan and avenges his (Jim's) own death.
    The Spectre/Jim Corrigan: It's Judgment Day.
  • Stitched: Twiggy to one Stitched creature. When Lt. Cooper finds them, it's shown that Twiggy completely slaughtered him before dying.
    "Motherfucker, I'm half your size! I'm holding my guts in! COME ON!"
  • Superman:
    • In Action Comics #1, his very first story, Superman gives one to an abusive husband before flinging him into a wall so hard it cracks:
      Abuser: (while being held by Superman) "Don't get tough!"
      Superman: "'Tough' is putting mildly the treatment your going to get! You're not fighting a woman, now!"
    • In Supergirl (2011) issue #28, after Kara shoots Lobo's ship down:
      Lobo: Bloody Nass! That ship was custom built! The things I did just to pay for it...!
      Kara: Don't worry... You'll pay for them ALL.
    • In Red Daughter of Krypton, as Supergirl and the Red Lanterns are fighting back against an alien invasion:
      Supergirl: Fine, Skallox! You want to see me get mad? Watch this!
    • In Supergirl (1982) issue #19, after two thugs have been dumb enough to assail her:
      Supergirl: I take it this [pipe] is yours, guys?
      Crook 1: H-Holy...! It... It's... Oh, man, it sure is! Hey... We're awfully sorry, lady... Honest! We didn't know it was you!
      Supergirl: I'm kind of glad it was! My head's made to take this kind of abuse!— Is yours?
    • In Girl Power:
      Supergirl: You think you know ANGER? I'LL SHOW YOU ANGER!
    • In Who is Superwoman?:
      Superwoman: And don't bother trying to put up a fight, girl. I'm just as invulnerable as you are.
      Supergirl: Good. That means I won't have to hold back, you murderous babootch.
    • In Bizarrogirl
      • To her Bizarro counterpart:
        Bizarrogirl: Shhhh. You am too loud. Me am trying to have party, but me hate loud friends —
        Supergirl: That's too bad! Because I like making noise. (thinking) So not my best catch phrase.
      • To a giant critter who has just eaten Bizarro Luthor.
        Supergirl: Cough up that Bizarro Luthor right now, monster... or else I'll cut him out of you.
    • For the Man Who Has Everything: Mongul's Pre-Mortem One-Liner is curtailed by Superman's one word Pre-Asskicking One-Liner.
      Mongul: Happy birthday, Kryptonian. I give you oblivion.
      Superman: Burn.
    • Krypton No More: Superman to a thug who seriously thought a flame-thrower would harm the Man of Steel:
      Crook: Nobody can take a faceful of flame! But nobo—ddnnnh!
      Superman: Just call me nobody, punk!
    • Superman to The Incredible Hulk in DC Versus Marvel:
      Superman: I have to put you down.
    • In Superman vs. the Amazing Spider-Man:
      • Peter to Clark before hitting him:
        Spider-Man: You bet there's been a mistake... and, buster, YOU MADE IT!
      • Clark to Peter before punching him across a building:
        Superman: I'm going to teach you a lesson, Spider-Man — One you'll never forget! Go ahead. Take your best shot. Finished? Good. Now it's my turn!
    • In War World:
      Superman: Kara, I think I know how to defeat Warworld — but we'll have to face everything that satellite can throw at us to prove it! Are you game?
      Supergirl: Are you kidding? Who wants to live forever anyway?
    • The Supergirl from Krypton (2004):
      • Superman before destroying the army of Doomsday clones:
        Superman: Diana. Pull your army back. This ends NOW.
      • Barda to one of the Furies:
        Barda: I'd tell you go to Hell, Gillotina — but, given the situation, that'd be redundant.
    • Superman: Brainiac: Before punching Brainiac across his chamber.
      Superman: "Inflicting pain on others doesn't seem to bother you. It bothers me. Usually."
    • Countdown to Final Crisis: Jimmy Olsen, before fighting Darkseid:
      Jimmy Olsen: "You want the power in me? Come and take it!"
    • In The Great Darkness Saga:
      • Superboy and Supergirl get their powers amped up by Highfather and engage Darkseid in combat:
        Darkseid: Hmm... What is that... A noise disturbing my reverie?
        Superboy: Not exactly, Darkseid. More like a going-away present from an old friend of yours— who left us some of his power! The power to ignore a red sun.
        Supergirl: Power enough to tackle anything— even you!
      • Darkseid delivers another badass one-liner before unleashing his power shortly after:
        Darkseid: I care not what power Izaya's ghost may have granted you, I am Darkseid— and I bid you begone!
    • Crucible: During one battle between their respective teams, Comet has this to say to Vax before crushing his head telekinetically:
      Vax: "Back for more, children?"
      Comet: "Wouldn't miss it, Vax. Feel that pressure building in your skull? Let me help you with that."
    • In The Great Phantom Peril, Superman is not impressed when Jax-Ur rushes towards him.
      Jax-Ur: (throwing his fist) "All those years in the Zone— I always dreamed of a chance like this!"
      Superman: (catching his fist) "One thing about all those years in the Zone, Jax-Ur— They didn't do much for you in the way of physical conditioning!"
    • Two for the Death of One:
      • Syrene summons a group of Hell snakes to destroy Lord Satanis, but he slays them quickly.
        Serpent 1: "Your wife wants you dead, Satanis!"
        Serpent 2: "She will do anything to she must to insure her full power."
        Lord Satanis: "The Serpents of Satan! I commanded you once!"
        Serpent 3: "Syrene now controls our destiny!"
        Lord Satanis: (before frying them) "Then your destiny is death!"
      • Superman manages to go back in time and face Satanis, and he opens their final battle with the next line:
        Superman: "Return my other self to me— Now! Or, so help me, I'll see you remain buried!"
    • Last Daughter of Krypton: When they meet again, Reign believes Supergirl has decides to join her in conquering Earth, but she is quickly disabused of that idea.
      Supergirl: "I didn't come back to rule this world, Reign... I'm here to kick you off it!"
    • In The Killers of Krypton: In a space bar, an alien taunts Supergirl by praising Rogol Zaar for exterminating all Kryptonians. Kara replies Zaar did not kill all of them and lunges at him.
      Unnamed Alien: You out of "revenge" for him destroying your planet... Kryptonian?
      Supergirl: What did you say?
      Unnamed Alien: I may be big, but I ain't stupid. And all of us wanna thank Rogol for ridding the universe of your entitled, resource-stealing race.
      Supergirl: Most.
      Unnamed Alien: What?
      Supergirl: Zaar killed most of my people— (charging ahead) But not all!
    • The Coming of Atlas:
      • Atlas has just pounced Superman into the ground, and Krypto the Superdog is not a happy puppy:
        Krypto: This one hurt man. Krypto loves man. Krypto hurt this one.
      • Superman, when Atlas has beaten Krypto.
        Superman: ATLAS! Hands off my dog!
    • In Superman vs. Shazam!, Supergirl, after blowing a magic scepter out of Black Adam's grasp:
      Black Adam: A terrible wind— yanking the Ibistick from my grasp—! No! I must not lose it now!
      Supergirl: The sceptre isn't all you're going to lose, Black Adam!
    • Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow: Before beating Krem and his goon up in the first issue, Kara declares she does not care about their dumb weapons.
      Supergirl: Swords and arrows? Don't you even know who I am? I'm Supergirl. Do you think I give a $# about swords and arrows?!
    • In The Hunt for Reactron, the titular villain finally gets Thara Ak-Var angry enough that she transforms into Flamebird and kicks his armored butt.
      Flamebird: Little human— Little nothing in your shell— You shall not hurt them! Not ever again.
    • The Strange Revenge of Lena Luthor: When Supergirl first engages Blackrock:
      Supergirl: Use your powerstone against these innocent men again, Blackrock...and the only thing around here that won't be moving is you!
    • In Way of the World, Kara becomes fed up with trying to talk a mad scientist out, and declares she's done with him before crushing him.
      Alphonse Luzano: You're boring me.
      Supergirl: You're right. I've wasted enough time on you already.
    • In Death & the Family, Supergirl gives Insect Queen one chance to set her host free before beating her out of Lana Lang's body personally.
      Supergirl: Insect Queen. I'll give you one chance— Get OUT of Lana's BODY!
    • The Day the Cheering Stopped: Before dumping Oswald Mandias' guards into the sea, Superman makes clear he does not care for whatever they have to say.
      Superman: "I could ask you toadies where my friend is— but my X-Ray vision already told me that! And I could ask you were your boss is, but I don't much care... So why don't you just blow off—?"
    • Superman/Supergirl: Maelstrom: When the titular villainess finally gets to face Superman, she throws a chunk of street at him, shouting she will have his head. Superman easily smashes the boulder to rubble and replies calmly she will need something better than that.
      Maelstrom: "My problem will be easily solved…with the removal of your head!"
      Superman: "You're going to have to do better."
    • Adventures of Supergirl: When Kara becomes fed up with Rampage treating her as a punching bag, she states:
      Supergirl: "Okay, fine. You wanna make this a punching contest? I can oblige."
    • In The Other Side Of Doomsday, Supergirl spouts the next line when a robot who she is fighting makes her angry. She punches its head off straight after.
      Supergirl: "That cuts it! Robot, you've made me mad."
  • The Transformers (IDW): Megatron delivers one to Sentinel Prime in Megatron: Origins.
    "I've heard it said that we only gain wisdom through suffering... and tonight, I intend to make you very wise."
  • As well-known and awesome The Mighty Thor's "We would have words with thee!" line from the Ultron Unlimited storyline is, it's actually Ultron's following line that gets the nod:
    Ultron: You want to die now too, Thor? All of you? Then come on. COME ON!
  • Although the fight between Wolverine and Deadpool in Wolverine Origins has quite a few, there's also a notable aversion when Deadpool notes that the fight is on "for real" and is dead serious when Wolverine starts ditching the one liners and is kicking ass without them.
  • In the Wonder Woman Vol 1 storyline Judgment In Infinity, Kara Zor-El has to fight the Horseman of Death, who declares he will not accept her challenge unless she can defeat a battalion of animated tanks.
    Supergirl: Well, mister, maybe there was a Tobruk back in World War Two— but remember this... There was also an El Alamein! And, just in case you need a History lesson— that's approximately what happened there to Rommel's famous Afrika Korps!
  • In a 90's X-Men comic, Sabretooth had Jubilee (Marvel Comics) pinned and asked if she had any last words. Her response was too tiny to read, even with a magnifying glass...
    Sabretooth: Wussat? Ya gotta beg louder!
    Jubilee: Yu-yeah sure... I s-said... "EAT HOT PLASMA BURSTS"!

Alternative Title(s): Comics