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Pre Ass Kicking One Liner / Web Comics

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  • The Tally Ho features a pretty good Pre-Asskicking One-Liner... "I got the tools, I got the team, I got the motivation, and baby, I just ate me a whole ROLL of 'Mentos'."
  • From Buck Godot Zap Gun For Hire:
    Alien: Human! You belong to me.
    Buck: Thanks, but actually, I belong to me. And I don't share.
    • Subverted because the alien in question then proceeds to thoroughly kick Buck's ass
  • The Adventures of Dr. McNinja: "We are on Eastern Pain Time, and it is Dan o'clock!"
    • Parodied in "D.A.R.E. to Resist Ninja Drugs and Violence" where the Doctor directs a pretty awesome speech at Frans Rayner...
    Doc: Rayner, you killed my mentor, and you kidnapped my sidekick. I met Death himself last night, and he's going to follow me all the way to your house. You made it personal.
    Doc: I'm trying to think of that thing I said earlier today, when I was riding that raptor there, and how Death was mad at me... and somehow I applied it to you? I forget it now. It would have been good. But, uh, whatever. You're like, the lamest Great Dane since Marmaduke, and I'm gonna kill you. Whatever, who cares. Let's go.
    • Also:
    Doc: Hello. My name is Doctor McNinja, and I'm going to be your phlebotomist today.
    Random mook: Wot's a phlegm botanist?
    Doc: It means I'm going to draw your blood.
    • Mitzi McNinja gets one of her own during the "Punch Dracula" Story Arc: "And the dead can't hear their own eulogies. So let's wrap this up.!"
    • In the Axe Cop crossover, when Axe Cop summons a giant robot suit to fight the bad guy with:
    Axe Cop: "Welcome to the land of dying!"