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"Oh boy, this is gonna get worse before it gets better..."

"Springfield's cops are on the take. But what do you expect with the money we make? Whether in a car or on a horse, we don't mind using excessive force! Bad Cops, Bad Cops!, Bad Cops, Bad Cops!"
The opening theme to Bad Cops, aptly summarizing this page

Given their shoddy track record, it's easy to say that Springfield has the worst police department in the USA.


  • In "The Otto Show", Otto drives a schoolbus through a police picnic, running over their food. Chief Wiggum asks if anyone got the license number. No one did.
  • He makes light of Homer when he reports an alien sighting. Then he does the exact same thing when an arsonist shows up, covered with soot and holding a lighter, confesses to torching a building and admits he's afraid he'll do it again.
  • In "Trilogy of Error", Chief Wiggum receives a call from Marge after Homer gets his finger cut off by mistake, but Wiggum misinterprets it as attempted murder, sends units to arrest her...and asks Marge for her address in order to do so. Later in that same episode, he attempts to confirm through the radio his informant is wearing that it is indeed the dangerous mobster Fat Tony that the informant is seeing, by asking the mobsters himself over the radio. And it later turns out the "informants" he sent were Bart and Milhouse. Next thing he hears is the mobsters shooting the informant and missing.
  • In "Treehouse of Horror V", when he gets an emergency call over the radio from a remote mountain house, he thinks the "over" bit at the ends means the emergency is over.
  • In "The Secret War of Lisa Simpson", on a field trip to the police station, Bart sees Wiggum erase the police station's answering machine tape (all 75 messages), asking "Aw, can't anybody in this town take the law into their own hands?"
  • In "Lisa on Ice", Bart and Lisa play on opposing teams in a peewee hockey championship game. Wiggum, who coaches Bart's team, offers to furlough all the inmates in Springfield's prison to watch the game if they promise to come back. When the inmates refuse Wiggum lets them go anyway if they promise not to commit any more crimes (which they also refuse to do). When Bart and Lisa intentionally throw the game to leave it as a tie, Wiggum leads the townspeople in destroying the stadium.
  • In "Dog of Death", not wishing to miss a lotto drawing on TV, he hangs up on a 911 call, telling the caller they've "got the wrong number, this is 912".
  • In "Bart Gets an Elephant", he ignores a rash of calls about property damage from a rampaging elephant, thinking they're prank calls, and getting so wrapped up in dismissing them that he starts dismissing every call that comes in, including an officer calling in that he's been shot in a liquor store robbery.
  • In "Cape Feare", he refuses to believe that Sideshow Bob has broken the law by sending death threats written in blood to Bart until he's shown the actual line in the statute book that spells it out as a crime. He then reads on and learns it's illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling, and has to tell his officers in the next room (who are doing exactly that) to knock it off.
  • In "Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment", a tough Federal Agent takes over the police department from the hopelessly ineffective Wiggum and orders the other officers to: "Get a haircut!" "Get those shoes shined!" and "Take that badge out of your mouth!" Even the Federal Agent wasn't immune to the trope. He was so focused on enforcing the dry law he didn't mind Fat Tony dealing drugs. And he ignored Homer walking next to him with beer ingredients while interrogating an innocent Comic Book Guy (shortly after arresting Ned Flanders because "he sounds drunk"). And at the end of the episode he claims that the law is the only thing stopping him from killing everyone who looked at him "cockeyed".
  • In "Lisa's Date with Density", Wiggum busted Homer Simpson for electronic pan-handling but didn't bother taking the evidence with him. He goes so far as to tell Homer to bring the auto-dialing machine he was using to solicit money to court, otherwise he has no case and Homer will get off scot-free. Homer obliges, being one of the few Springfielders even stupider than Wiggum.
  • In "Burns' Heir", when Marge and Homer come to him for help in getting Bart back from Mr. Burns, he rolls his eyes and asks "can't you people solve these problems yourselves? I mean, we can't be policing the whole city."
  • In "I Love Lisa", Homer tells Wiggum that "someday" the people of Springfield are going to stand up to the corrupt police. Wiggum responds with a non-sarcastic "They are? Oh no! Have they set a date?"
  • In "Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming", Sideshow Bob runs off from a prison work detail Wiggum is supervising. When informed Bob has escaped, Wiggum tells an officer to write Bob up as having been beaten to death instead of trying to go find him.
  • In "Day of the Jackanapes", when he and the other officers witness a brainwashed Bart vandalizing a Krusty shaped drive-thru speaker with a baseball bat while Sideshow Bob is standing next to him screaming "Yes! Kill Krusty like you will kill him tomorrow!", Wiggum merely comments how nice it is that Bart is using a wooden bat instead of an aluminum one (as well as giving a subtle Take That! to then-recently elected George W. Bush). And then gets side tracked by a mini pinball toy in Lou's Krusty Meal.
  • In "Marge vs. the Monorail", Apu pleads for more police funding at a town hall meeting, as he's tired of being constantly shot on the job by armed robbers and may have to miss a day of work if it continues. An apathetic Wiggum calls him a "crybaby".
  • In "Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie", Maggie gets a hold of the car, this is Wiggum's reaction:
    Wiggum: Aw, isn't that cute? A baby driving a car! [looks offscreen] Oh and look! A dog driving a bus!
  • In "The Boys of Bummer", Chief Wiggum doesn't arrive at the water tower to try to talk Bart out of apparently attempting suicide, but to encourage him to jump. Earlier on, Bart asked Wiggum to drive him away from the crowd, only for the latter to drive him back into the stadium so the crowd could continue terrorizing him.
    Wiggum: He's back! Go nuts, everyone!
  • After hearing what he thinks is an approaching Biker Gang, a scared Wiggum orders the patrol car to be disguised as a pizza delivery car. As a Take That! to Domino's Pizza, he used their logo as means to be sure the "gang" wouldn't want any pizza they might have (an Affectionate Parody, since Domino's sponsors the show).
    • In "Coming to Homerica", in an effort to stop immigration into Springfield, he and Eddie set up a checkpoint on the road, but Wiggum was too lazy to capture any of them, and couldn't even capture the one that crawled through his legs.
  • In the episode that gave us the page quote, Wiggum says later on, when the police arrest Marge: "I said the police are powerless to HELP you, not to punish you."
  • In "The Monkey Suit", Chief Wiggum uses overkill while having Lisa arrested (i.e. bringing in a SWAT Team) and on the meanwhile Snake gets off scot-free with shooting people since they are only able to enforce the last three laws past. He does apologize to her during the case and admits that it's the worst legal system you can get. Snake's shooting is happening right across the street, visible right outside the window, and Wiggum can only say to (try to) Just Ignore It.
  • In "The Trouble with Trillions":
    APB: Be on the look out for a maroon, 1939 Stutz Bearcat!
    (said car goes by)
    Wiggum: Eh, that really was more of a burgundy.
  • In "Marge on the Lam", when pursuing a getaway vehicle, he identifies it as a "red...car?" and gives his location as "on a road, directly under the sun....... NOW!"
  • In "Homer's Triple Bypass", when identifying a car theft caused by Snake: "Be on the lookout for a....car of some sort, headed near...you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect Is Hatless, repeat, hatless!"
  • They have an entire show dedicated to them, in which the theme song is "Bad Cops."
  • After arresting Sideshow Bob yet again, Bob remarks how he'll be back on the street within the week. Wiggum corrects him to say it'll be later that same day. A similar incident occurs with Snake. He says he'll be back on the street within twenty-four hours. Wiggum says he'll try and make it twelve.
  • The regular force isn't much better. In "Homer at the Bat" Eddie and Lou arrest Steve Sax for murder, on the basis he's from New York City. When Sax asks for an attorney, the cops brush him off with "You watch too much TV."
  • Sideshow Bob attempts to kill Bart aboard the houseboat the family is living on after going into witness protection. Bart manages to stall him long enough for the boat to run aground near a brothel where the entirety of the Springfield police force has been hanging out, then they quickly arrest Bob.
  • In "The Springfield Connection", when Marge joins the police she does her best but quits after seeing all the corruption on the job. She caught Herman who was running a counterfeit jean operation, but Wiggum says they have to release him because there is no evidence. Homer points out there is a whole garage full, but Wiggum notes they have "mysteriously disappeared." Cut to the entire police force wearing the jeans right in front of everybody.
  • Ralph Wiggum was once seen driving a police car while Chief Wiggum followed him on a tricycle, pleading with Ralph to stop the car and offering to let him play with his weapon.
  • When budget cuts prevented the cops from having weapons and proper equipment. Lou's radar gun is shown as just a thermos taped to a handle and Chief Wiggum had to draw a weapon on a piece of paper. It was so badly drawn Lou assumed Ralph drew it.
  • When an obvious criminal makes a getaway from right in front of him, he refuses to follow, saying "I'd rather let a thousand guilty men go free than chase after them." All of this proves, better than any DNA evidence, that he is indeed Ralph Wiggum's father. In case there were any doubts.
  • In another episode, a Brazilian police inspector is shown to assume that everyone who comes to him to report a crime is actually trying to flirt with him.
  • In "My Sister, My Sitter", the 911 operator refuses to send an ambulance to the Simpson house because of all the prank calls made in the past.
    911 operator: Simpson? Look, we've already been out there tonight for a sister-ectomy, a case of severe butt rot and a leprechaun bite. How dumb do you think we are?
  • In "Bart of Darkness", Springfield's 911 system is shown to be a needlessly complex phone-tree menu.
    If you know the name of the felony being committed, press 1. To choose from a list of felonies, press 2. If you are being murdered or calling from a rotary phone, please stay on the line."
    <Beep> <Boop>
    "You have chosen "Regicide". If you know the name of the King or Queen being murdered, press 1. <click>
  • Similarly, the official SFPD Website has the following trap:
    "If you have committed a crime and want to confess, press "Yes", otherwise, press "No".
    "NO"
    "You have selected "No", which means you have committed a crime but do not want to confess. A paddy wagon is now speeding to your location. While you wait, why not buy a police cap or T-shirt? You have the right to remain fabulous!"
  • The Springfield jail is shown to work on the "honor system".
  • At the end of "Poppa's Got a Brand New Badge", Homer just decides to hand his badge to any random person, who turns out to be Wiggum. Wiggum then reveals that he got the job the first time because the exact same thing happened, not because he showed any qualifications for it.
  • Springfield's cops can be corrupt but aren't usually too viciously (although they are corrupt, no doubt about that). The motto engraved into their badges is "Cash Bribes Only" and in "Dark Knight Court", Mr. Burns says: "Every last one is on the take! And I should know, I'm the one on the give."
  • Some headlines from the Springfield Shopper, shown in "Pranksta Rap": "Wiggum sleeps through riot", "Commission: Wiggum sucks", "Firemen save police chief from tree", and so on. When Wiggum finally solves Bart's (faked) kidnapping later in the episode, the headline reads "Wiggum Rescues Boy; No, Really".
  • In "Hurricane Neddy", when Ned Flanders rebukes the people of Springfield, he singles out Chief Wiggum with "What do we have here? The long, flabby arm of the law?! The last case you got to the bottom of WAS A CASE OF MALLOMARS!".
  • "Bart's Friend Falls in Love" shows that Springfield's "lackluster police force" and resultant high crime rate are well known outside the area, as Milhouse's crush Samantha cites it as the reason her father, who works in home security, moved there.

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