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Eihort, Great Old One Of Equally Unpleasant Options
(The Pale Beast, God of the Labryinth)
- Great Old One (equivalent to Intermediate God)
- Symbol: A clutch of bloodied eggs
- Alignment: Light Blue, considered Chaotic Evil by human standards
- Portfolio: Eldritch Abomination, Name Is German For "Egg Hoard", Morton's Fork (Be Killed By It, Or Die "Birthing" Its Brood, The Maze, Extra Eyes, Lets You Experience Lives In Other Places
- Domains: Eggs, Aliens, Horror, Infestation
- Associates: The other Great Old Ones and Outer Gods
- Interests: Lionel Starkweather
- Allies: Prince Asterion, Pennywise, Flumpty Bumpty
- On speaking terms with: Black Arachnia
- Rivals: The Facehugger and The Xenomorph, The Pod People
- Enemies: The Imperium of Mankind, victims of rape/forced impregnation, Archaon the Everchosen, Ellen Ripley, the SCP Foundation, Billy Hatcher
- Eihort is one of many Great Old Ones, and one of a handful with some interest in humanity. Resembling a cross between a spider and an oval gelatinous mass, it dwells in a maze and will offer a bargain; either die at its hands, or bear its eggs. As the eggs inevitably burst and destroy the body, it is more a question of "which death would you prefer?"
- Similar to Ithaqua, Eihort seeks to carve a niche of power through its spawn. Because of this, the SCP Foundation has taken to ensuring that the Pale Beast is contained within its maze, putting gates and warning signs so only total morons could be victimized. Eihort wasn't pleased by the Foundation, or their general opposition to eldritch beings like itself.
- Seems to have an understanding of Prince Asterion, as he is another beast locked within a maze. The Minotaur prefers to eat the victims of the maze, but the Pale Beast will let it take those who reject the offer of bearing its eggs for the Minotaur's food. Saves Eihort the trouble of squishing them, at least.
- Comparable to the Xenomorph, a being who forcibly impregnates and kills hosts like a parasitoid wasp. Naturally, Eihort considers them competition for spreading its offspring, and the feeling is mutual for the Xenomorph. Mercifully the Facehugger's attempt to infest the Pale Beast failed, due to a mix of incompatible biology and being too alien for them. The Pod People's infiltration and propagation also makes them competition for Eihort's desire to spread and propagate itself and its offspring and take the planet for itself.
- Creeps Billy the Hatcher the hell out, and is considered an utter perversion of the very concept of eggs. The eldritch egg Flumpty Bumpty was more accepting and felt Eihort was a kindred spirit, though he's a bit friendlier and if impressed will let you go without any deadly caveats
- What Eihort does is effectively raping and killing whoever makes the "good" choice, so anyone who was a victim of rape or forced impregnation wishes to smash the abominable egg-maker. Gruesomely Lionel Starkweather thinks its Face Full of Alien Wing-Wong and Chest Burster attributes might be useful in certain snuff fetishes, though he's smart enough to not meddle with Eihort right now.
- Archaon, being a product of rape, has beef with Eihort. Of course, some of it has to do with Eihort being an Eldritch Abomination, similar to the Chaos Gods, and attacking it is an excuse to vent on his issues towards the Ruinous Powers. The Imperium of Mankind wants to purge Eihort and its spawn for being a major Xenos infestation, as does Ellen Ripley who is reminded strongly of the Xenomorphs.
- Pennywise is another monstrous being that has eggs of its own, so It seems to understand Eihort's "biological needs" and desire to spread its spawn. It approached the Pale Beast with a deal; let "rejects" go and give them false hope so he may savor their fear all the more before eating him. Eihort agreed, providing he use his disarming forms like the funny clown to manipulate people into entering his maze.
- Seems to be fond of Black Arachnia in whatever way it can, due to her closeness towards her large brood and the fact she has one. Along with its spider-like traits, Eihort might just be interested in a being like it. She finds Eihort rather creepy but its' more advantageous to stay on good terms with the God of the Labyrinth.
- As horrible as it is, there is an upside to Eihort's bargain; you are able to experience other lives in other places, but this can be turned on its head as Eihort's servants can be put in the bargainer's body. Eihort can also choose people as its "Chosen", delaying their death so long as they deliver victims. Lionel Starkweather is tempted to take this offer, but again he's not willing to get close to the Pale Beast yet.
Eizen, God of Inconvenient Blessings
(Ufemew Wexub, The Reaper/Shinigami
, First Mate of the Aifread Pirates
- Intermediate God, Greater God as a dragon
- Symbol: His coin (preferably landing on tails)
- Theme Song: That's My Way - Eizen the Reaper
- Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
- Portfolio: Reaper's Curse as a "blessing", wants others to control their life, First Mate of the Aifread Pirates, Good Old Fisticuffs, Team Dad, Perpetual Frowner, Genius Bruiser, rocking a sweet Badass Longcoat, surprisingly Adorkable, Building a damn island if he wants to, The Comically Serious, not affected by the Abbey's control, Magic Knight and Red Mage, doesn't like comments about dating his sister, Face of a Thug, "Son of a dog", Dragonic Drive, Perfect Mayhem, Howling Dragon, Venom Strike, Intrigued by Humanity, Undying Loyalty to Van Aifread, allowing malevolence to turn him into a dragon to kill a Lord of Calamity
- Domains: Piracy, bad luck, freedom
- Heralds: The Aifread Pirates
- Allies: Velvet Crowe, Eleanor Hume, Yuri Lowell, Gon Freecs, Killua Zoldyck, Lelouch vi Britannia, Philemon, the Silver Surfer, Zaheer, Naofumi's Party, Ciel, Gunvolt
- Rivals: Almost every pirate in the One Piece Pantheon, The Criminal Triad, Will and Elizabeth Turner, the House of Piracy
- Enemies: Artorias Collbrande, Pokemon Hunter J, Majora, Gharnef, Frost, Caesar Clown, Dr. Wily, Dr. Weil, Vinsmoke Judge, Dracula, Quan Chi, Ghetsis Harmonia, Sakazuki, Kuvira, Zonda and The Seven, The Sumeragi Swordsmen (except Elise), Ganondorf, Davy Jones, about half of the House of Mind Control
- Pities: Muzet, Koishi Komeiji, Darkrai (Except the Mystery Dungeon version), Dr. Cossack, Cyrax, Setsuko Ohara, Tiki, Skull Kid, anyone who has their free will taken away
- Respects: Grey, Meruem and Komugi, Elize Lutus, the Iron Giant, anyone who has seize control of their fate
- Special Relationships: Hypno
- For as long as he can remember, Eizen has had the Reaper's Curse as his Malak's blessing, which makes him stronger while also causing bad luck to follow him everywhere he goes. This has resulted in the deaths of dozens of comrades during his time as a pirate and keeps him away from his sister since anyone around him is in danger. His curse has prevented him from using weapons other than his fists in battle due to them always breaking. On one occasion, an ally named Silva got turned into a dragon before he could join the party. He also can't get heads on his coin.
- One of Eizen's most defining character traits is his desire for others to "take hold of the rudder down their own path". He even killed his own captain so he could die with his freedom intact. This has made him enemies of many other ascended characters, including but limited to:
- Vinsmoke Judge for drugging his own children before they were born so that they would become the kinds of servants that he wanted. Caesar Clown has experimented on children by feeding them harmful drugs that make them go crazy. He also tricked Brownbeard's crew into thinking he wanted them dead while acting as their "hero". Sakazuki despises Eizen simply because he is a pirate, and the latter hates him for what he did at Ohara his loyalty to the Celestial Dragons/World Nobles who practice slavery.
- Ghetsis has taught his Hydreigon Frustration, a move that does more damage if the user hates its owner. Hunter J has stolen other Pokemon from people by petrifying and selling them to whatever client she's working for. Not even keeping them in good condition is enough for him (especially since it's not out of good intentions). However, Darkrai has attracted Eizen's pity due to his "bad dreams" ability being an involuntary power which has kept him sealed away in New Moon Island (but a certain other incarnation has no such relationship). There was initially a clash against Hypno, but Eizen has restrained himself after learning some of the good things Hypno have been using their powers for.
- He hates Dr. Wily for creating the Zero Virus, causing countless Reploids to go Maverick, endangering humanity and sparking the Maverick Wars. There's also the matter of kidnapping Dr. Cossack's daughter and forcing him to do his bidding. But that's nothing compared to how he feels towards Dr. Weil, who reprogrammed the Mother Elf into the Dark Elf, had her assimilated into Omega so he could Mind Control all Reploids, tried to keep humanity from escaping to the last natural part of the world, and caused the world's population to take a nosedive. Naturally, Ciel's opposition of Weil has gained her a new ally against him (much like how Eizen has joined Lelouch's rebellion against Britannia whenever he's not working with the Aifread Pirates).
- Eizen hasn't gotten along well with Quan Chi for he uses his revenents for evil purposes despite most of them being heroes when they were alive. Frost has it even worse for how she tricked the Lin Kuei and had them turned into cyborgs for Kronika's aid in Mortal Kombat 11. His reaction to Cyrax's dilemma is obvious (especially after he regains his free will shortly before being deactivated).
- The House of Mind Control has caught Eizen's attention, and not in a good way. Johan Liebert is surprisingly mundane in his methods, but Eizen still thinks he's bad news. Upon learning of Jervis' hat, he set out to destroy it pronto.
- Regarding his relationships with those of his franchise, he quickly took to Velvet's side on account of how they fought side-by-side and her willingness to put up with his Reaper's Curse. Eizen is also considering joining Brave Vesperia due Yuri Lowell's outlook on whether the law should bind him from doing what he wants. Yuri appreciates having a new ally, but is worried about the possibility of Eizen prioritizing Velvet since they're from the same game. In addition, Eizen has developed a sense of respect for Elize Lutus for coming out of her shell and becoming braver and more assertive. While Elize thinks he looks scary, she at least realizes he's not that bad of a person.
- His appreciation for humanity has put him at odds with Zonda and the Seven since they don't like those. At first, Tenjian tried to recruit him, but Eizen would never betray the Aifread Pirates. He'd much rather form an alliance with Gunvolt to take them down since GV believes in coexistence. Predictably, the Sumeragi Swordsmen would have to fight him he learns about their plan to mind control adepts into being less violent, reasons be damned.
- Zaheer sees potential in Eizen and is considering recruiting him to wiping out the world's political leaders to create a world of freedom. Eizen isn't entirely against this, and Zaheer isn't about to tell a lie, so Eizen will at least consider killing scum like Hou-Ting. It helps that they both share a mutual hatred for Kuvira, who apparently practices slave labor. There's also the matter of shooting her lover, which he didn't consent to.
- He hates Majora's Mask for possessing the Skull Kid and forcing him to so many bad things against his will. Ganondorf (specifically Calamity Ganon) is also a target due to his malice being used to corrupt a dragon and the Blight Ganons keeping the Champions from passing on. His actions have caused King Rhoam from leaving as well.
- Upon ascending to the Pantheon, Eizen noticed just how many other pirates have already ascended. When Monkey D. Luffy approached him, the latter thought he was cool offered to have him join his crew since Aifread had been killed, Reaper's Curse or not. Eizen's loyalty to his crew was too strong for him to accept this offer, so he refused the generous offer. Similarly, Eizen respects Jack Sparrow, Will, and Elizabeth Turner (even if Jack's personality rubs him the wrong way), but knows that they just might come to blows in the future.
Qrow Branwen, God of Causing Bad Luck to Those Near Him
(Dusty Old Crow, Uncle Qrow, Little Brother, A Genuine Huntsman, Uncle Birb, Qrow Birbwen, Drunkle
- Lesser God
- Symbol: A set of black gears in the shape of an eye
- Theme Song: Bad Luck Charm
- Alignment: Chaotic Good
- Portfolio: Bringing Bad Luck Wherever He Goes, Attracting Catastrophe, Cool Honorary Uncle, Proficiency with a Massive Scythe-Gun-Sword, Kicking Ass While Permanently Sloshed, Being Named with His Sister After Birds, Turning Into a Bird, Tall, Dark, and Snarky, The Mentor.
- Domains: Luck, Family, Scythes
- High Priest: Jinx Malloy
- Superior: Monty Oum
- Allies: Weiss Schnee, Blake Belladonna, Jaune Arc, Pyrrha Nikos (before her death), Lie Ren and Nora Valkyrie, the Reds and Blues, with special note going to Agent Carolina and Agent Washington, Edward Elric, Arthur, Lucas, Bruce Wayne, the entire House of Alcohol, Wanda Maximoff, Ren Amamiya, Ladybug & Chat Noir, Captain Jack Sparrow, Jetstream Sam
- Enemies: Cinder Fall, Adam Taurus, Roman Torchwick, Raven Branwen (his twin sister), Felix, Solf Kimblee, Ragyo Kiryuin
- Undecided: Locus
- Friendly Rivals: with Han Solo
- Special Relationships: Ruby Rose (his honorary niece), Yang Xiao Long (his biological niece).
- Deeply Fears: The Meta
- Opposes: Goro Akechi
- Qrows first experience with the Pantheon was as a mortal, coming by to visit his nieces, Ruby and Yang. During his brief stay, he was deemed responsible for over $4,000 (roughly 40,000 of his home currency Lien) in damages from accidents in his immediate vicinity. The Council saw his radiating bad luck and decided to grant him Ascension as a Lesser Deity, under the circumstances that he pay off his debt at a later date. After accepting the councils offer, he was moved into the House of Misfortune, under brief house arrest, where any damage he could cause was already insured.
- Once news of his ascension spread throughout the realm, Ruby paid him an immediate visit with a gleeful bear hug. After asking her beloved uncle if he missed her while she was away, he replied with a simple Nope.
- His second visitor came in the form of a peculiar man who embraced with open arms, acting like a father figure even to Qrow. The two talked for a while, with Qrow eventually learning the identity of the man before him. It was none other that Qrow's creator Monty Oum, for whom he had a great deal of respect.
- Once he was released from house arrest, he began to embark on a journey across the realms with his nieces allies and friends, teaching them to grow as fighters. It was on that day when he was reunited with a few of his bitter enemies from the same world. While he was shocked at first, theyve since formed a mutual agreement of non-contact. Of course, the agreement is rendered moot if they so much as lay a finger on Ruby or Yang.
- One day, Qrow decided to take a walk, looking for a place to refill his flask. He was eventually led to the house of Alcohol, where he met a slew of deities that could (almost) drink as hard as he did. Over time, he became good friends with other regulars of the Houses bar, occasionally challenging them to friendly drinking contests.
- Eventually, a time came when his nieces and charges introduced Qrow to the Blood Gulch Crew. While he was unimpressed for the most part, he at least acknowledged their drive and moral compass. However, he was particularly interested in Agent Carolina due to her incredible tactic capabilities and stealth technology. The two have since developed a mutual partnership, agreeing to tackle each others enemies should the need arise. Qrow also took a liking to Wash given he sounds like Ozpin, while Church startled him for reminding Qrow of Taiyang Xiao Long, the father of his nieces.
- Of course, this put Qrow right in the crosshairs of some of Carolinas more powerful enemies such as Felix and the Meta. During this stint, Qrow had to fight tooth and nail to even survive against the Meta, and now is trying to have him thrown from the pantheon at any cost. He also met with Locus at the same time. However, due to Locuss indeterminate morality, Qrow has not yet formed any opinion on the man.
- Through his travels across the Pantheon, many people began to confuse him for a brilliant alchemist due to the similarity between their voices. Eventually, he was able to meet up with the source of these rumors. As it turns out, the kid was a little shorter than he expected. Upon calling this detail out, Qrow received a swift punch to the jewels. However, the two have worked through their initial misunderstanding, and now their shared voice has become a sort of in-joke between them. However, there was some confusion on Edwards part. For a while, Edward thought Qrow was some sort of chimera due to his ability to turn into an actual crow. This was cleared up pretty quickly though. Qrow and Edward have also formed a pact, wherein they will be there for each other against any enemies.
- On another day at the bar, Qrow began to hear rumors of another person running around using the name (C)row. After a brief investigation of the masked stranger, he stumbled upon a young but brilliant detective named Goro Akechi. He soon learned that he had the ability to change peoples hearts for the better as a masked thief, using Crow as a code name. Initially, Qrow was onboard with supporting the young gentleman until he learned the truth from another phantom thief named Ren Amamiya. After learning Akechis true psychotic and murderous nature, Qrow switched sides, pitting himself directly against the detective in favor of siding with Amamiya. Tensions between Qrow and Crow have been high ever since.
- Eric Draven, on the other hand, earns Qrow's sympathy for all he's been through and having some morals.
- Qrow was grabbing a late night drink once when a tall man with a black cowl walked in for a quick drink. Qrow introduced himself to the masked stranger. However, when asked his name, the man would only refer to himself as Batman. A few more nights like this passed, and it came up in conversation that Qrow and Batman were fighting on the same side of morality. A quick deal was struck between them and the two men became allies from that day forward.
- After a long day of sparring with his nieces, Qrow decided to meet some of his neighbors in the house of Luck and Fortune. His first encounter was with a witch who could manipulate events around her. Their powers were actually very similar to each other, and Scarlet Witch used some of her chaos magic to momentarily cancel out Qrows natural bad luck. For the first time in ages, the house of Luck went a full hour without anything getting broken.
- He then went back to his apartment in the halls of Misfortune, and was met face to face with a neighbor of his, dressed in a manner reminiscent of a knight. Qrow introduced himself to the man, who in turn Revealed himself as Arthur. The two felt a certain sympathy for one another due to their shared bad luck. As the two shook hands, the doors to both of their apartments fell off the hinges.
- Once stumbled across a young blond boy with telekinetic prowess while trying to rally against the possible ascension of his twin sister Raven. Even though the boy never said much, Qrow was able to bond with Lucas due to their shared status as a younger, weaker twin. Through this boy, Qrow was also introduced to the greatest fighting tournament in the Pantheons history. After that, he had full motivation to buy the home version of the tournament and play against his nieces, so long as they were unafraid of a greater defeat.
- He once strolled up to the house of Weaponss gun range for some target practice with his Weapon, since he was growing a little rusty. At the target next to him was a man who seemed to get monumentally lucky with every shot he took. After a few more rounds of shooting, he walked over and introduced himself as Han Solo. A few friendly competitions and hard drinks later, the two agreed that their marksmanship was nearly equal to each others. To this day, they still compete from time to time to test who is better in the long run.
- As time went on, he began to hear whispers of a pair of superheroes with abilities that could cancel out his own terrible luck. After making the journey to Paris to meet with them, he realized that they were likely no older than his nieces. As it turned out, they couldnt help Qrows status as The Jinx, despite their own powers over luck. Ladybug in particular responded with an anecdote about how she shouldnt use her skills only for personal gain. Meanwhile, Chat Noirs abilities really only made the situation worse. However, a mutual appreciation was struck between Qrow and the pair, due to Qrows lifetime career of fighting the Grimm. Qrow, in turn, respected the teens for their battles protecting Paris. It didnt hurt that Ladybugs excitable and honorable personality reminded him of Ruby.
- Unbeknownst to many, Qrow is also fluent in Japanese. However, due to his voice, many people confuse him with a legendary pirate or a cyborg assassin. Actually, once the three men met one another, they simply laughed off their familiarities. The three then proceeded to compare their swords to one another, judging in terms of length, width, and technique. Occasionally, the three met up at the sparring grounds to train against each other, sharpening their skills as swordsmen.
- Qrow's dedication to his family pits him squarely against anyone who would betray their family like his sister Raven did. Because of this, he has developed an immense hatred for Ragyo Kiryuin for her treacherous treatment of her daughters. He has gone on record to state that he would not hold back if the two ever cross paths.
- He was not happy to hear about his sister's ascension into the Pantheon.
- Some people are just born unlucky. My semblance isn't like most. It's not exactly something I do. It's always there, whether I like it or not. I bring misfortune. I guess you could call me a bad luck charm. Comes in real handy when I'm fighting an enemy, but it makes it a little hard on friends, or family.
Arthur (Fire Emblem: Fates)
Arthur, God of Bad Luck Since Birth
(Harold, Hapless Hero, Gaston America
, Captain Nohr
- Symbol: The letter H on his plate armor
- Alignment: Lawful Good
- Portfolio: JUSTICE, Overdeity-Tier Level Of Unluckiness, Paladin-Like Characters Without Its Class, Axe Combat, Heroic Jaws, Rated M for Manly, Successful Pastiche Character For America, Large Ham, Never Giving Up In The Face Of Disaster
- Domains: Luck, Heroism, Combat
- High Priest: Ashton Anchors
- Allies: Corrin, The Nohrian Royal Siblings (especially Elise), Marth, Chrom, Ike, Sigurd & Seliph, Roy, Lyndis, Eirika & Ephraim, Robin, Lucina, Owain, Tailtiu, Steve Rogers, Varian Wrynn, Minsc & Boo, Galford D. Weiler, Kim Kaphwan, Reinhardt Wilhelm, Uther the Lightbringer, Qrow Branwen (located in the same house).
- Enemies: Gharnef, Grima, Gaston, many evil villainous deities.
- The day Arthur received notification from his liege Elise, he prepared an arduous journey to reach the Pantheon. Took him a few days, but it is said that his journey was so full of extreme misfortune that even other Gods shudder when describing it. But Arthur still made it anyway, with that giant smile of his like it's everyday's job, and the Pantheon noticed that for his bad luck, people around him sometimes get a chance to prosper. That cements why he's the most deserving for those Born Unlucky.
- Arthur is a man on great principles of justice. To him, justice can mean A LOT, mostly good things, and he earnestly follows the creed without looking stupid (the only thing that makes him look stupid is the misfortune that follows, not his creed and his personality and brain). This is why he's a very popular deity on the House of Heroes or those who upheld justice. Though the one he respects the most is Steve Rogers/Captain America.
- However, he's also aware that Prince Xander, the brother of his liege Elise, is disillusioned with the term of justice. Knowing how he became like that, Arthur never pressed the issue and kept the relations professional. Xander on the other hand has good trust on Arthur that he will protect and maybe nurture Elise well, his childish sister definitely finds escapade of justice fun and she should grow up cheerful unlike him.
- That said, he doesn't approve of vigilantism, given that revenge can often be the sole motive for doing so, but he does approve of those who still manage to fight foe justice despite that.
- In his early days of his settlement, he came across Princess Tailtiu of Friege, who thought that she heard her son named Arthur ascended, but it turned out otherwise. At first, their friendship felt normal, until Arthur came across Tailtiu looking sad and reminiscing her tragic last mortal days. While she cried, in the name of justice, Arthur cried harder note that it nearly flooded her room, but it got Tailtiu to get back to her cheery self (in trying to get them out of the room) so she's thankful to have a friend like him (and was glad she named her son Arthur) and he knows that this friendship will last very long and there's no way he'll let some bastards ruin her again.
- Even if he draws similarities appearance-wise with Gaston, Arthur isn't fond at all to him. He does not accept that a prideful, selfish man like him is worthy to be called a 'Hero'.
- The letter on his armor and his symbol, H, stands for either his alternate name 'Harold' or his creed, 'Hero'. It serves to remind him to always act humbly and heroically.
- He's very proud of his son Percy, but regrets that he's unable to bring him in to his house as he radiated good luck ever since birth, the antithesis of his house. The Pantheon still provides a garden for Arthur to visit his son. Also no one knew who Arthur married to bear Percy.
- That said, and the kid did manage to earn a spot in the Pantheon
as Gladstone Gander's follower. As for Arthur's opinion on the duck is simple disappointment that he doesn't use his fortune for the greater good.
- His axe-fighting catches the interest of Uther the Lightbringer, who saw him sometimes substitute an axe with a hammer, and thinks that Arthur can be a Paladin of the Light. Alas, Arthur proved to be inept in sorcery (no thanks to his bad luck pissing off the spirits of The Light), but the two kept in contact. However, Arthur is aware of Uther's inherent racism towards certain races (born from vengeance of being wronged) and as a token of gratitude of the offer to train as a Paladin, Arthur often asks Uther to come join him about discussing about "the subtle, yet distinct, difference between justice and vengeance. "
- Upon the ascension of Qrow Branwen, Arthur took it upon himself to meet his new neighbor. he could relate to Qrows feeling of being cursed, as both men were bringers of misfortune. Once they shook hands, both of their doors immediately fell off their hinges.
- JUSTICE PREVAILS!!
Rincewind, God of Cosmic Playthings
- Symbol: A pointy hat with stars and the word "WIZZARD" on it
- Alignment: True Neutral
- Portfolio: Modern Major General, Battle Luggage, Obfuscating Stupidity, Reason Before Honor, Great Luck, Perfectly Reasonable Cowardice, High Hopes, Zero Talent
- Domains: Travel, Magic, Cowardice
- Followers: Keiichi Morisato, Moroboshi Ataru, Calamity James, Howard the Duck
- Superior: Terry Pratchett
- Allies: Caiphas Cain, '''HERO OF THE IMPERIUM!''', Sonic the Hedgehog, Rainbow Dash, Scott Pilgrim, Sasha Blouse, Shaggy and Scooby, Gandalf
- Enemies: Grand United Alliance of Evil
- Fears: House of Fear
- Complicated Relationship: Lord Djibril, Nozdormu
- One wouldn' think that Rincewind would be any sort of threat. He barely knows any magic spells and is a chronic coward. And yet he keeps getting drawn into adventures, both in his world and in the Pantheon without a scratch. Some would say that's due to being the former God of Running, but there were more powerful forces at play. When the gods in the House of Magic examined his future, they were astonished to see his fate completely unclear. Thus they decided to give him a new title to compensate.
- How uncertain is his fate? Not even Death itself knows when (or if) he will die. He is fated to be Spanner in the Works for any major villain and there will be nothing he can do about it.
- He doesn't appear to be a fast person. But put him in a dangerous situation and he will disappear before you can even blink. Sonic, Rainbow Dash and the Flash have tried up race him to test his speed, but can't seem to find the right opportunity to do so.
- If there's one thing that doesn't scare him it's potatoes. If it were up to him, he would spend most of his time in the House of Food and eat to his heart's content with Sasha Blouise. Of course that's unlikely to happen any time soon.
- Has a lot in common with Shaggy and Scooby, two down-on-their-luck Lovable Cowards. They first met when an anomaly sent the wizard to their world, forcing him to work with the gang to solve the latest mystery. While his magic was mostly useless, they appreciated how easily he could keep up with them in the running department. Afterwards, he invited the dog and owner to dine on some potatoes (an error on Rincewind's part. He hardly managed to eat anything).
- Is absolutely horrified at the House of Fear and tries to avoid the area as much as possible. Which means he ends up there often.
- Has tried his hardest to follower the works of Lord Djibril, God of Dirty Cowards. He would run away from danger if he could have the chance. But try as he might his heart is just too big to do so. It doesn't help that the man is too psychotic for his taste (he's just too scared to say that out loud).
- As someone who had to go through incredibly difficult tasks, Scott Pilgrim feels for the man. The main difference between the two are their motivations; Scott Pilgrim complains out of laziness rather than due to fear. The two are actually compatible, with Scott taking care of the fighting and Rincewind serving as the face.
- Few deities can take as much credit as ruining villains' plans. Melkor has grown increasingly furious at this as well as his inability to eliminate him. Rincewind would love to stay out of the way, it's just his status that gets in the way. Melkor has warned his followers against attracting the wizard and even then it's not enough.
- Nozdormu paid a rare visit to the wizard on some advice: accept who he is and make the most of it. Even he has yet to see someone as screwed up. To him, the only way he can be happy is to take advantage of his abilities. Rincewind naturally refused and kindly set him off.
- Blames his creator Terry Pratchett more than anyone else for his miserable luck. Though Terry claims not even he can fix things. When Terry broke out of his mortal coil, Rincewind brought some potatoes to his temple as tribute. He may harbor some resentment, but still wouldn't wish anyone to die.
- Gandalf offered to see what he can do. Rincewind thanked him while the wizard examined any latent magical energies. One theory Gandalf stated that whoever cursed Rincewind is likely not from the Pantheon or even his own creator. While this made any chance of a cure to be bleak, Gandalf promised to investigate further into the matter.
Anne Hanakoizumi, Goddess of Impossibly Spectacular Bad Luck
(Hanako, An Hanakoizumi
- Quasideity, but Anne's luck can border on Intermediate Goddess levels
- Symbol: A four-leaf clover struck by lightning
- Theme song: Punch☆Mind☆Happiness
- Alignment: Neutral Good
- Portfolio: Finagle's Law, Born Unlucky, The Pollyanna, Unluckily Lucky, A-Cup Angst, Amusing Injuries, Animals Hate Her, Cloudcuckoolander, Plucky Girl, Shared Family Quirks
- Domains: Luck, School, Happiness
- High Priest: Milo Danger Murphy
- Allies: Yuki Takeya, Pollyanna Whittier, Sakaki, Hanayo Koizumi, Donald Duck, Touma Kamijou, Earl Hickey, Cu Chulainn, Scathatch
- Enemies: Bernkastel
- Opposed by: All animals of the Pantheon
- Respected by: Lambdadelta
- Unlucky Counterpart to: Gladstone Gander
- Ever since birth, Anne has had such bad luck that anything and gone wrong for her, usually in such an unbelievable way that defies the laws of nature.
- How much Anne's luck affects her environment generally depends on what Anne is interacting with in her immediate area, sometimes it will be minor like falling in the same river 10 consecutive times or snapping the necks of a piles worth of metal cutlery just by holding it or something more major like opening a fissure in the ground.
- And then there are the times Anne will do something that, by all means, should be impossible such as being the only person out of 40 to not only not break a raw egg past its expiration, but also hatch it into a healthy chick.
- Despite her constant bad luck, Anne always has a cheery personality, because of this, Anne is good friends with other deities who share her outlook such as Yuki Takeya and Pollyanna Whittier.
- Anne has a strange compulsion to try and pet any cat she comes across, she's yet to have any luck with this as every cat she comes across slaps Anne or scratches her. This isn't exclusive to cats either as all animals try to keep their distance from Anne.
- Because of these many failures, Anne is friends with fellow cat-lover-who's-not-loved-by-cats Sakaki.
- Many deities have seen Anne getting along swimmingly with Hanayo Koizumi, none are aware of why but they speculate it may be because Anne's family name is one syllable from being Hanayo's whole name.
- While Anne and her mother, Sakura were exceptionally unlucky, aside from them nobody else had the same issues with luck as them, however upon ascending, Anne became fast friends with other deities who are also magnets of bad luck such as Donald Duck, Touma Kamijou, Earl Hickey, Cu Chulainn and Scathatch.
- Anne has noticed that while she is exceptionally unlucky, Gladstone Gander is equally as lucky as often times, something impossible will happen in Gladstone's favour such as when a hurricane moved a house Gladstone was contracted to move, where it was supposed to go and with no damages whatsoever.
- While Lambdadelta has no qualms with causing trouble for others because it's fun for her, however Anne is one of the few deities she has reserves about annoying due to always staying positive in the face of terrible luck.
- Anne's never malicious to any other deities, but she's not a fan of Bernkastel due to using her magic to give people bad luck for the sake of tormenting them.
- Many deities try to keep Anne away from the Fortress Dwarves fort as they're worried about the chaos she could unintentionally cause there as well as getting mauled by the many animals there.
"The Gang Joins the Pantheon"
The Gangnote , Godly Crew of Constantly-Backfiring Plans
Left to right: Mac, Dee, Charlie, Frank & Dennis
- Symbol: Paddy's Pub or their Episode Title Card
- Theme Song: Temptation Sensation
- Alignment: Neutral Evil with hints of Stupid Evil, but Charlie is more a case of Chaotic Stupid.
- All: Can't Get Away with Nuthin', Comedic Sociopathy, Hypocrite, Jerkass, Lack of Empathy, The Sociopath, Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist, Small Name, Big Ego
- Dennis: Can't Take Criticism, Handsome Lech, It's All About Me, Manipulative Bastard, Narcissist, Not Good with Rejection, Sanity Slippage, Schemer, Worst of the Bunch, More feminine that his sister
- Dee: Attention Whore, Butt-Monkey, The Chew Toy, The Friend Nobody Likes, Giftedly Bad, The Lad-ette, Lady Swearsalot, More masculine than her brother, The Unfavorite
- Mac: Armoured Closet Gay, Boisterous Weakling, Churchgoing Villain, Egocentrically Religious, Transparent Closet, Manchild, I Just Want to Be Badass
- Charlie: Almighty Janitor, Ambiguous Disorder, Cloudcuckoolander, The Ditz, Never Learned to Read, Manchild, Keet, The Wild Card, Best of the bunch, cannot be killed or permanently hurt, Extreme Omnivore
- Frank: Abusive Parent, Arbitrarily Large Bank Account, Admits to being a terrible person, Bald of Evil, Chronic Backstabbing Disorder, Dirty Old Man, Fat Bastard, Gonk, The Hedonist, Extreme Omnivore
- Domains: Failure, Alcohol, Terrible People
- Allies: It's mostly limited; lets be honest, hardly anyone wants to be around these guys.
- Enemies: House of Friendship, Lucy and Ricky Ricardo, good-aligned members of the House of Love (Dennis), Matilda Wormwood (Frank), Buck Hughes (Mac)
- Rivals: The Seinfeld group, Moe Szyslak, Rodin (one-sided on the Gang's side for the latter), Charlie Harper, Gaston (Dennis)
- Pities: Jah'Rakal (Dee, to an extent)
- Additional Relationship: M. Night Shyamalan
- Evil Counterparts: to The Friends crew
- The Gang consists of Dennis Reynolds, Deandra "Sweet Dee" Reynolds, Charlie Kelly, and Ronald "Mac" McDonald. Together they run Paddy's Pub, a struggling South Philadelphia Irish-themed dive bar. Dennis is the vain prep from a rich family, Dee is his shallow, shrill, and insecure twin sister who has aspirations of being an actress, Charlie is the high-strung idiot savant who is obsessed with the waitress at a coffee shop, Mac is the wanna-be bruiser, forever stuck in adolescence as well as t-shirts with the sleeves cut off, and Dennis and Dee's neglectful father, Frank, is the shady, millionaire businessman who is drawn to the gang's depravity and bankrolls their schemes. They have one thing in common, though: they are some of the most horrible people around.
- Somehow, The Gang managed to get a spot in the Pantheon, just not in the way any of them intended or even the title they wanted. They were the former high priests of the Seinfeld group, but one day, they decided to try and take over their temple for their place by setting traps all over said temple. However, they ended up falling into the traps themselves, and Seinfeld himself kicked them out for attempted murder. Supposedly, one of the higher-profile gods was watching this (mostly because he found it hilarious) and they received Can't Get Away with Nuthin', helped by the fact that failing at their plans wasn't exactly an uncommon occurrence for them. Since then, none of them have spoke with the Seinfeld group again, though, they never had the best (or even decent) relationship in the first place.
- The choice to make them Quasideities was to make sure they don't get enough power that it goes to they're already inflated egos (Dennis in particular). So despite being in the the pantheon, they're still holding that much power.
- The Gang are trying to take away the title of Sitcom from the Ricardos, feeling that they deserve it more for their show lasting longer than theirs. The Ricardos were very angry upon hearing this, with Ricky noting how while that might be the case, they have a bigger cultural impact than them and they would never let the title be stolen by some of the worst people imaginable.
- Their temple is recreation of Paddy's Pub which serves customers who'd like to get their fix of alcohol. Unfortunately for the Gang, they have a couple of rival bars in Moe's Tavern and The Gates of Hell. One scheme committed by them to sabotage the former was to get Dee to hit on Moe so she can distract him and steal his beer supply, which ended up all for nothing since his tavern was located in the near-unlimited-in-booze House of Alcohol. For Rodin, he doesn't care about them as serving drinks is secondary to his weapon-selling business.
- They are often considered the darker counterparts to the Friends group due to the Gang also being an ensemble group of comedic folks, but while the Friends group can occasionally be jerks, the Always Sunny gang are downright terrible people, which makes them wonder how such shitty fellows can get along with each other. Mac in particular hates them for the times they made fun of gay people, which isn't a bad statement.
- The Gang has an interesting relationship with M. Night Shyamalan, of all people. One time, Dennis and Dee were originally cast as extras in an unnamed film of his, but after they kept ruining his assistant director's takes, Frank, then Dee and Dennis' agent, convinced said assistant director to fire them and take their place. And around the same time, Mac and Charlie intended to write a screenplay to pitch to Shyamalan titled The Fifth Sense, but gave up and instead designed a poster for the potential film and retitled it, Crime Stinks: The Smell of Penetration, which did not go anywhere. Shyamalan has gone on record stating that he doesn't have any memory of even seeing them on set and would never work with them at all.
- He does most of the janitorial jobs around Paddy's, and despite his lack of intelligence, he is actually the one keeping the bar afloat through his work ethic and bouts of ingenuity. Charlie likes The Janitor for also having a decent amount of power (even more so than Charlie) for someone who just does cleaning duties. He has even tried to get him to join the Gang in some of their schemes, but Glenn has declined multiple times, not because he thinks they're unethical, but mostly for finding them completely far-fetched to become even remotely successful.
- Charlie can be found at the House of Music sometimes, where he is seen working on his music. The house actually lets him because, despite being functionally illiterate, he's actually pretty good at songwriting and using the keyboard. Some of the songs he plays there include "The Nightman", "I Like Paddy's Pub", and "Go Fuck Yourselves".
- Speaking of "The Nightman", Charlie once wrote and staged an entire play based around the title character casted with the rest of the Gang. He once put a single performance of said play in the House of Theatre and Spectacle, but after the showing unexpectedly sold-out, the musical has since then become a staple of the house. It helps that many gods have said it's perhaps their best adventure.
- Raleigh Becket and Mako Mori give some confused looks when the saw Charlie, mistaken him for Dr. Newton. They soon found out that Charlie was even stranger.
- He's noted to be a devoted Catholic, though he only ever seems to remember that when he needs to rub it in his friends' faces. Otherwise, he's perfectly fine with completely going against the teachings of his religion. He's disliked by most of The House of Religion and Faith for being a selfish jerk and find him annoyingly preachy for someone who likes to generally forget about what he believes in.
- Due to his beliefs, he had to hide his attraction towards men by being a Heteronormative Crusader for some time before finally coming out of the closet. In spite of this, practically every LGBT ascendant largely can't stand him due to his aforementioned shittyness as a human being. One queer person who was okay with him was Buck Hughes, who even offered to invite him for a night of "fun" over at his temple; Mac decided against it as he found Buck disgusting even by his standards.
- Mac possesses a desperate desire to emulate the tough-as-nails macho stars of the 80s action movies that he's obsessed with. Unfortunately for him, his Dirty Coward nature and lack of real strength makes that nothing but a distant dream. In an attempt toughen himself, he went to the House of Combat to fulfill his dream of becoming a kung-fu hero by training with Bruce Lee. This practice ended after many hours of Mac misaiming his punches and Lee giving him millions of broken bones.
- He has a "foolproof" system for seducing and dumping any woman titled the D.E.N.N.I.S System, which stands for: Demonstrate Value, Engage Physically, Nurture Dependence, Neglect Emotionally, Inspire Hope, and Separate Entirely. Unsurprisingly, the Good members of the House of Love find this system horribly creepy and it doesn't help that most gods considered him a sociopath to begin with.
- Dennis usually gets the ladies interested, but can't seem to quite charm them into sleeping with him. One person he's very jealous of is Charlie Harper, who's also a Handsome Lech but has seen more success in getting around. Dennis even made a bet with him on who can get the most sex within a week, thinking that he would somehow build up some charisma to win. Said bet ended with Charlie doing every known sexual position known to mankind twelve times of while Dennis couldn't convince a girl to walk to his bedroom even if he promised money or promised a P-diddy style boat party.
- He's notorious for his egotism and feels that he's the most important person in the world. Though, don't try to ever remotely criticize him, or he will feel completely crushed. One time, he encountered Gaston, who didn't see how he felt the world revolves around him and argued with Dennis on who was the best guy in the Pantheon, which eventully stopped after they got tired from three days of bickering against each other.
- One common insult she is given is "bird", and one time, she got so annoyed at the rest of the Gang for their constant usage of it that she requested a temple of her own. However, the court of the gods would only give her one in, well, guess which house. Strangely, Dee did initially agreed to this as she found them so irritating, only to move back in with them after the Murkrow flock kept stealing her belongings.
- Dee is often considered The Friend Nobody Likes in their group and has to deal with them criticizing everything about her; from her appearance, to her voice, to her sense of humor. For this reason, she feels for Jah'Rakal and his inability for any of his (always temporary) allies to like him. Though, this sympathy is largely limited - even Dee also finds him kind of a douche, and Jah'Rakal doesn't care about allies.
- Dee is an aspiring actress who can't, well, seem to act. In spite of this, she went to the House of Theatric Performers thinking she can hang out with all of those big-name actors because of her "talent". Unsurprisingly, everyone there saw through her lackluster credibility and banned her almost instantly.
Dee: "What the hell? You guys let some rando who dressed up as a dumb lizard as a resident of the house and even gave Charlie permission to spend some time here, but won't even let me in? What gives?"
Charlie: "I don't know if you should be calling that guy a rando, Dee. He played Godzilla, who's apparently this very popular monster."
Dee: "He's a fictional character, Charlie. It's not like he's going to come up to m-"
[A thunderous stomp is heard]
Dee: [Turns around and looks way up to see the titular kaiju with a pissed-off expression]
Dee: "All of this fantastical B.S. is supposed to be fake in this world, right?"
Charlie: "Not really. In fact, the other day I went-"
Dee: "I'm not going to get used to this shit."
- One time when the Gang put on a wrestling show to support the troops, Frank played a literal Garbage Wrestler called "The Trash Man". While all of the wrestling ascendants laughed at him when he showed his persona to everyone (it didn't help that he throws actual garbage and then eats it), two people that seem to like it are Vinny and Joel, who both constantly quote "I'M THE TRASH MAN! I START EATIN' GARBAGE!", along with other memetic lines from him. Both livestreamers enjoy hanging out with him, if only to see what shenanigans he and the rest of the Gang will go through next.
- Frank was an Abusive Parent who relentlessly emotionally tortured Dennis and Dee. Naturally, many children and most people in the House of Family hate him for this, among other reasons; one kid in particular who despises everything about him is Matilda Wormwood, who finds him an even more depraved version of her former father, partially for how he looks. On the other hand, the ascendants who tormented their own offspring, including Ghetsis Harmonia, Relius Clover, and Ragyo Kiryuin, think he was a perfectly good dad who is unfairly treated by most of the Pantheon, with Ragyo in particular feeling he should've gone further with his kids.
- Frank can be usually spotted in the House of Craft disguised as Ongo Gablogian, an Andy Warhol-esque art collector. He has dismissed most works there as "bullshit" or "derivative" while seeing mundane things like air conditioners as the highest of art. Naturally, nobody there takes his claims seriously.
- He is a noted Gun Nut who is fond of drawing and audibly cocking his revolver and then waving it around casually. This has gotten him banned from the House of Firearms, to the annoyance of Frank, who owns several other guns and wanted to chat with fellow gun owners. He tried to show how careful he was by showing said revolver with its safety on, only for it to go off and kill a random bystander, which made him completely Persona Non Grata among the entire House of Weapons.
Zofia Zawistowski, The Goddess Who Made The Sadistic Choice
- Symbol: Her concentrated prisoner suit
- Signature Song: "Love Theme"
- Alignment: Neutral Good
- Domain: Parents, Love, World War II
- Portfolio: Chose which of her children to die, got taken to Auschwitz for stealing a ham, got caught in a Love Triangle, Driven to Suicide
- Allies: Many Jewish deities in the Pantheon
- Enemies: Any Nazi in the Pantheon, Medea, Eric Cartman, Magneto
- Pitied by: Many good parents in the Pantheon, Peggy Carter, Steve Rogers / Captain America, veterans of World War II
- Pities: Liane Cartman
- Complicated Relationship with: Shylock
- The mother who was faced with an incredibly painful choice of deciding which of her child to die in the concentration camp, Sophie was ascended after her suicide because the gods heard about her painful choice and how influential it is to the cinematic world.
- After her ascension, Sophie fell to her knee crying when her request to see her children alive again is denied because the Court of the God argue that bringing them back would deny the purpose of her ascension in the first place. Let's just say that day the entire Pantheon got a little sadder.
- Her difficult decision to choose which kids to live made her a VERY sympathetic figure to many parents in the Pantheon. Even the evil / more neutral ones who love their kid also feels sorry for her situation.
- For her reputation, Sophie has turned her temple into a place where parents lost their kids to share their story.
- Despises Medea with a passion due to the fact that the woman WILLINGLY off her kids.
- Being married to a Jew and a victim of the Holocaust, Sophie has good relationship with many Jewish deities while despises any Nazi in the Pantheon. While only a civilian, her temple is always welcomed to any Jew and any Nazi dare to come close to it will receive a dose of cyanide in their food.
- However, Shylock has a mixed reception of her despite being a Jew himself due to the fact that Sophie being Catholic married a Jew reminds him too much of his daughter Jessica's marriage to his enemy.
- Eric Cartman usually goes to her temple and harass her for her marriage with a Jew. This led Sophie to hate his gut and feels sorry for his mother.
- While sympathizes with Magneto for being a survivor of World War II, Sophie cannot bring herself to be friend with someone who is so careless about his children and draft them into his terrorist group.
- Veterans of World War II feel sorry for Sophie as being one of the many victims of the war. Captain America and Peggy Carter especially sympathetic with her since they both lost important people during the war.