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    F 
  • Failed a Spot Check:
    • This employee completely misses the labels on the cabinets.
    • Subverted here; the signs the customer apparently missed don't exist.
    • Another subversion; the rotisserie trays the employee can't find... aren't where the coworker said they were. The coworker is very unhappy when she finds out.
    • This manager apparently failed to notice that one of their employees uses a wheelchair for three years.
    • A grocery store manager doesn't realize that the submitter doesn't work at her store until he points out the completely different uniform (with his company's name) that he's wearing. By that point she had already yelled at him and threatened to write him up. Oops.
    • In this story, a waitress and the management at a ballpark restaurant nearly throws out a couple whom the waitress has claimed stole a table meant for a party that included one person in a wheelchair...with the blatant evidence toward the couple being the party in question (most obviously that the husband is in a wheelchair) somehow flying over their heads completely until they check the reservations. The embarrassed manager comps the couple's meal as an apology and later chastises the waitress.
  • Failed Future Forecast: Amazingly subverted here. The employee is paranoid that they left the oven on and could potentially start a fire, but their older brother confirms everything is fine. Later, the microwave in the staff room suddenly catches on fire (due to the manager punching in an extra zero). The employee is in disbelief that they actually made a correct prediction, but not in the right place.
  • Feeling Oppressed by Their Existence:
    • Seems to be the logic behind this vegan worker throwing out everyone else's lunches for not being vegan, telling the submitter to never wear their leather jacket around her again, and demanding that the director throw out her leather purse, then trying to do it herself. (This last one gets her fired before her first day is over.)
    • This coworker really doesn't take well to the submitter wearing headphones, even if it's the only way he can actually concentrate on his work with everyone else always shouting. She complains about his music disrupting her despite the fact he didn't bring his music with him that day, and rather than admit he's not actually bothering her in any way, she then accuses him of listening to music over the Internet and wasting the company's bandwidth — even though the entire building's Internet connection had been down for two hours at that point, meaning that even if the submitter were listening to music, it wouldn't have been distracting because she does her work online.
  • First World Problems: This woman goes on about having manicures every three weeks, despite them costing $80 each time.
    "I've had to cut back on some other stuff, though. This economy and all. I've cut my maid service down to every 3 weeks instead of every 2, I cancelled my membership to the tanning salon, and I even downgraded my membership at the fitness center."
  • Food as Bribe: It works in getting employees to work overtime when the promise of extra money fails.
  • A Fool and His New Money Are Soon Parted: This employer seems never to have learned how to save money properly. Small wonder the potential employee simply walked out without filling out an application.
  • For Inconvenience, Press "1": A few cases.
    • Here's why using this trope for emergency services is a bad idea. At the very least, if you're going to use an automated system for emergency services, make sure it works properly.
    • This oddball option in a phone menu (sadly, it doesn't exist nowadays).
  • For Want of a Nail: A plumber called to fix a leaky toilet at a family's house drops a part down said toilet doesn't bother to take it out and just leaves it. This leads to the part blocking the pipe and causing it to burst, flooding and trashing the interior of the entire ground level of the house and causing the kitchen ceiling to cave in, forcing the family to live in hotels or with relatives for three months until the house is habitable again. During this time the submitter ends up losing their job because it ends up costing too much for them to take a train to their workplace when they only make minimum wage. When school starts back up, the submitter's parents go through a lot of trouble to get a hotel closer to the submitter and their sister because until now they were well over an hour away from each other. The family goes through all of this trouble just over their plumber dropping a part down the toilet.
  • Freudian Slip: "Hi, welcome to [store]. How can I lie to you today?"
  • From Bad to Worse: Could practically be the subtitle for this story as the submitter and their coworkers uncover more and more ways the previous store manager had been screwing over customers, their own employees, and the company.
  • The "Fun" in "Funeral": Used verbatim in the title of this story because a coworker accidentally told someone who'd be missing work for a funeral to "have fun".
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    G 

    H 
  • Head Desk: The conclusion of this story.
  • He Knows Too Much: The motivation behind this person being let go by the company. The boss isn't particularly smart about the way he handled the situation, though — for starters, assuming that having the ability to do damage to the company automatically means having the willingness to go through with it, and responding by punishing the employee for having that ability in the first case, thus giving the employee as many reasons to go through with it as possible.
  • Hoist by His Own Petard:
    • A Jewish coworker who steals the submitter's lunch without asking gets his comeuppance when he ignores her warning that the food he just stole and ate from her contains pork. Since then, he no longer steals her lunch.
    • A female coworker who expects free food to be given to her gets a nasty surprise when she steals and eats one worker's jerky and learns too late that it's very spicy.
    • This telemarketer selling warranties for car parts refuses to reveal which car of the submitter warranty has supposedly run out, by claiming Security Reasonsnote . The submitter, being Genre Savvy, forces the conversation into an endless loop until the telemarketer gives up.
    • This boss promotes a new employee who is married rather than the single experienced employee because she believes married employees are more responsible than single employees. The boss later got fired after she got a divorce.
    • This worker greedily demands to be paid at a higher rate, "or I quit". The boss and coworkers accept his resignation at face value.
    • This incompetent worker's plan to get his supervisor fired for sexual harassment that never happened goes through smoothly... until HR investigates the claim and discovers from CCTV footage that it was bogus. Both the worker and his father (the manager who fired the supervisor) are subsequently fired for lying to HR.
    • A classic example here. When the manager who won the competition accuses the other of cheating, an investigation reveals that he was the real cheater.
  • Holier Than Thou: This night manager uses Bible verses to justify his very incorrect and jerkish actions. This act gets him fired when he steals from the store under the belief that he shouldn't follow Man's Law since he follows God's Laws.
  • Hollywood Voodoo: At least one woman out there has claimed to have been cursed by a Haitian witch on her job application.
  • Honest John's Dealership: Either this guy doesn't know how to do his job, or he's a scammer.
  • Huge Guy, Tiny Girl: She really does need the extra-long bed.
  • Humiliation Conga:
    • One boy who uses the computer in his school pool's office to sext with his girlfriend on Facebook, being 45 minutes late for his lifeguard shift as a result, gets one when he's found out.
    (...when our boss returned he was fired. It gets better: he was expelled for using the school’s computers for “illicit activities.” Then his girlfriend dumped him. Then his mother made him come and apologize!)
    • This apprentice tattoo artist intentionally ruins a client's tattoo because he thinks that he's above doing silly butterfly tattoos and that he should be able to do whatever he wants. The aftermath? The submitter, who owns the shop, fires him and spreads word of the incident to every tattoo parlor in the city, essentially making the former apprentice a Persona Non Grata in the industry. Then charges are pressed against him after he throws a tantrum. To top it all off, the client he essentially mutilated sues him, and wins.
  • Hurricane of Puns: With a flower theme.
  • Hypocritical Humor:
    • This manager castigates an employee for having water at their register (which isn't against the rules), then leaves with her own stash of soda and food (which is).
    • An example involving someone refusing to do their job while reading the site itself.
    • Two preachy identical twins bug an atheist. Turns out at least one of the twins doesn't practice what he preaches.
    • This cashier accuses the submitter and her daughter of being Grammar Nazis by giving them grief over their choice of words in trying to order popcorn.
    • This manager chews out his employees for being late, even though they were held up by construction. When the manager's boss points out that the manager was late too, the manager says that he shouldn't be accountable for that, because there was construction.
    • “What you are is geeks.” “Says the man who did not ask me to explain the reference.”
    • A regional store manager wonders why a local manager is leaving. When an employee tries to explain using the regional manager's daughter as an example, saying that there is no way either of them went to college to work at a dead-end job, the regional manager says that their daughter wouldn't stand for that job, but still doesn't understand why the local manager wouldn't stand for it either.
      • The exact same (lack of) logic is demonstrated by this boss. Parking lot needs its snow shoveled, but there's a sketchy-looking man rooting through their trash nearby. When asked if he would let his fifteen-year-old daughter shovel snow by herself in this situation, the boss says "of course not". A fifteen-year-old employee wanting someone else to help her just in case, though? She's just being lazy for no reason!
    • "My boyfriend and I had a good laugh about being ignored repeatedly by a man explaining how important good customer service is."
    • A cashier gives a mother and her baby daughter a hard time because she's under the WIC program, until the cashier's twin sister points out how she had a son during high school and had to have their parents help her out temporarily.
    • This cashier accuses a customer of lying to get something for free, going so far as to try to guilt-trip her with "Jesus is watching you lie", when the whole reason the customer is asking for a replacement in the first place is because the cashier lied about there not being any kiwi or kiwi flavoring in their smoothie. Between this and literally telling the customer to "fuck off", she isn't a cashier anymore by story's end.
    • This barista puts a small cappuccino in a medium cup despite the submitter asking him to put it in a small cup, cannot for the life of him understand what the submitter is talking about when they ask to move it to a small cup... and then, when the submitter reaches behind the counter to grab a small cup and pour the cappuccino into it themselves, has the gall to call them an idiot. The next customer in line loudly asks for someone else to serve them in response, and the submitter has since then only ever seen that worker cleaning tables, never behind the counter.
    • This coworker "doesn't believe" in getting fireworks for a holiday because it's just setting money on fire and watching it go up in smoke. The poster points out that the coworker in question is a pack-a-day smoker.
    • This bartender adamantly refuses to serve patrons who are under the age of 25, even though the bartender himself is only 15 and has implied to have had drinks himselfnote .
    • This employee ribs on another employee for not understanding a quote from Mean Girls...only to almost immediately afterward stare blankly in confusion at a customer who also quotes the movie.

    I 
  • I Can't Hear You: Sounds like this employee has a hearing problem.
  • I Have to Go Iron My Dog:
    • This cashier feigns excuses for not wanting to do a refund, including "maybe it's got a corset type style" (which it doesn't) and "the computer isn't working" while blatantly messing around with the POS. This then leads to "I can’t give you a refund because the IT guy is driving," after which the computer miraculously starts working again to service the next customers in line.
    • This customer encounters this trope too: after bringing a travel coffee mug into a store, they are asked to leave it with the worker so that it doesn't spill on the clothing. When the customer asks for their cup back, the worker pretends to believe that they're asking whether the store sells coffee, denies knowledge of said cup, then awkwardly says "I have to go see something" after the customer points out that the cup is right behind them.
    • This manager is helping a "skinny blonde girl" open her account. After realizing that the girl is majoring in chemistry and physics, the manager says, “I didn’t expect you to say that. I expected something fluffy like interior decorating or fashion design. If you could excuse me for a second, I, uh, need to go get something from the back." Another manager takes over for her.
  • I Know Mortal Kombat:
  • I Need a Freaking Drink: "Look, I'm in my late sixties and I work in retail. Right about now, I'd say alcohol is the least of my concerns. Now hit me, barkeep!"
  • I Never Said It Was Poison: In this story, the submitter and her friend notice that money keeps disappearing from their houses after their cleaner visits. When the friend's husband catches the cleaner stealing, the submitter confronts her about it, which she denies doing, but she offers to give her half of what was stolen, which amounts to $65. The submitter states that she never said how much was missing. The cleaner is promptly fired.
  • I Reject Your Reality: Here. A cashier at a department store insists that they don't take the card the OP is offering — which is a $100 gift card for said store. They call a manager, who is also adamant that they don't take it. After running the card, the manager triumphantly declares that it didn't cover the sale — which is true, not because they don't take the card but because the amount was for $101.62, and there is still $1.62 to pay. The OP, increasingly annoyed, pays the remainder in cash and insists they type it in, hit cash and see what happens. Of course, the register promptly acknowledges the transaction and provides a receipt, to the astonished disbelief of both the manager and cashier, who are seemingly unable to process the fact that, yes, you can pay for goods at their store with one of the store's own gift cards.
  • Identical-Looking Asians: Ironically, by another Asian. This jerkass custom clerk assumed the submitter was a Singaporean despite her passport saying she's an Australian citizen.
  • I'll Take Two Beers Too: This waiter assumes the trope is in effect, when it's actually a case of one person ordering for all.
  • I'm a Humanitarian: How do you fillet a person?
  • Implausible Deniability: This company rep tries to excuse being beyond useless at helping a customer by telling them said company does not have email. To repeat: they try to tell the customer that an international provider of telecommunications, which had already sent that customer multiple emails, does not have inter-office email.
  • Incompetence, Inc.: This story, to make a very long story short, involves a group of retail store managers visiting a store that was completely run into the ground by a store manager who tried to run the store her way instead of how she was supposed to (including some ways that were illegal). After fleeing the store when the visiting managers get there, she leaves behind (for the visiting managers to deal with) a filthy disaster area of a grocery store full of trash, months-old build-up of gunk, unboxed merchandise left in odd places, and employees who do not actually know how to do their jobs in ways that aren't how the manager did things, some resisting attempts to learn how to do their jobs the right way to the point of getting in fights with the visiting managers and/or quitting.
  • Innocently Insensitive: A client at a new office mistakes the kitchen for the (overweight) submitter's office, and is rather embarrassed once she realizes what she said and implied. Luckily, the submitter is more amused than angry.
  • Insane Troll Logic: Far, far too many examples to list even close to exhaustively, but here goes:
    • "...I really can't argue with that."
    • This nurse apparently thinks that being calm while donating blood means that the donor obviously has a sexual fetish for it. Both her fellow nurse and the donor are extremely confused. To compound the Insane Troll Logic, you would think you would want the person who likes to give blood to have every reason to do so!
    • This cashier can't even keep a consistent excuse for refusing to take a return for more than thirty seconds.
    • This user wonders why IT is closing his support ticket after he basically refuses to let IT actually do anything to fix his problem.
    • This boss tries to blame an ex-intern with whom she didn't get along for making an hours-long call on her home phone to Southeast Asia that resulted in a massive phone bill. It was clearly just a coincidence that the boss's cleaning lady's temp replacement had family there, and had a phone that could receive but not make calls.
    • This boss basically cuts out every single source of income his store could possibly have, and then expects to make more sales than before. The situation is effectively a kind of Disaster Dominoes:
      • He interdicts allowing free playing of anything because it tempts parents to leave kids there, and he doesn't want to be an ad hoc babysitter. This is somehow more important than the possibility of the kids (and other on-the-fence customers) deciding the games are worth buying.
      • After sales wind up falling to half because of this (and a good chunk of the work force is jettisoned), he ends the weekly game tournaments because he doesn't want to have to pay for more than one employee on the floor at a time, even though said tournaments bring in more money in 2 hours than the normal sales on any other day. It's worth noting that he doesn't connect ending the free game tryouts with the business decline.
      • At the same time, he stops getting new releases, and interdicts trading old games for new, because he's apparently afraid that the new stuff is likely to just sit there.
      • Finally (after forbidding even bathroom breaks because they'd require the store to be sealed off because he's so cheap that he doesn't want to pay for more than 1 person being present at the store, as stated above), he stops console repairs because he thinks ordering the parts ahead of schedule is a risk of them just sitting around! In short, he effectively dismisses the value of any source of income besides people expressly looking to buy old games. No surprise that that one basket wasn't enough to keep the store afloat.
    • This store is constantly short on staff because the manager keeps firing people for no reason whatsoever.
    • "The sun ISN’T some magic ball of life giving heat. The sun is the eye of a malevolent God. It gazes down upon us like a physical presence, weighing us down and making everything worse. It makes us cold in the winter, it makes us hot in the summer, it blinds us as we drive, and agitates the air around us making the air thicker and unpleasant.”
    • This cashier believes the submitter is stealing a dress because she (the submitter) is using it for a costume, and as such is “stealing” it from a poor person, even though the submitter is ready to pay for the dress. The manager that comes to help scolds the cashier for her nonexistent logic before checking the submitter out himself. The cashier ends up continuing her inane activities, getting fired for attempting to get a young boy arrested because he doesn’t look “poor” enough.
    • This fast food cashier refuses to honor the submitter's coupon, stating that it cannot be used with any offer, including the one that the coupon is for. Worse yet, the manager backs up her reasoning, at which point the submitter gives up and leaves. Fortunately, an out-of-town location honors the coupon without question.
    • According to this pizza place, it's perfectly normal to cancel customers' orders without telling them when things get too busy, but it's okay, because they don't charge them.
    • Why would you display pretzels (albeit plastic ones) if you don't intend on selling them in-store?
    • This employee thinks that just because the submitter's son touched a bottle of beer, he thinks that it warrants carding the kid because he handled it. The epilogue states that if the employee was explicitly told that the submitter was buying alcohol for her kid, only then he could refuse the sale.
  • Insignia Rip-Off Ritual: Happens to this waiter, after his boss catches him lying about a customer throwing a tantrum.
  • Insistent Terminology: "IT'S SODA!"
  • Ironic Echo: "That was worth it for the look on your faces."
  • Is This Thing Still On?:
    • When putting someone on hold, make sure they really are. And always mind what you say.
    • Another example involving a hold button mishap. At least this time they were insulting other employees, not the customer.
    • "You're not on mute."
    • "I was tempted to wait a few seconds more before I calmly revealed to them that every single employee and customer in the store was now privy to their dirty conversation."
    • A much sillier example where the submitter and their friends realize that they can hear an employee fussing at and joking with another employee through a drive-thru speaker at a coffee shop adjacent to the restaurant they're eating at because she forgot to turn her headset off.
  • It's All About Me:
    • This employee calls a tech support person about an e-mail. The employee made a typo regarding a mailing list and wants to rectify that, but do they ask for the e-mail to be recalled or send out another e-mail with the correction? Nope, they ask the tech support person to change the name of the mailing list to match the name in the e-mail instead. Never mind that the mailing list is already being used a lot and they don't own it — admitting that they made a mistake is far more of an issue.
    • This man absolutely refuses to turn down the volume from the maximum level on his computer or use headphones, because he needs to know every single time he gets an email. Never mind that everyone else has to hear the noise too and is very irritated by it.
    • This pizza place manager has actually been deliberately overcooking customers' pizzas, because he apparently likes them that way and cannot possibly understand that other people might not like pizza that looks and tastes like charcoal, even though he's apparently getting upwards of ten calls every day complaining about it.
    • Likewise for this barista, who adds coffee to the submitter's chai latte because he likes them with coffee and doesn't realize (or care) that the customers that are actually ordering it may not feel the same way.
    • This director thinks that no one he laid off could feel as bad as he did letting people go.
    • This car dealership employee expects her manager to schedule around what she wants, rather than having the manager set the schedule and consider any special circumstances.
    • This boss, in an interview, tells the interviewer that numerous other businesses donated shelves for them, enough so that they have plenty of unused shelves in storage, but then scoffs at the idea of donating the extras to someone else in need like he was, because "that's for us to use".
    • This lady doesn't care if a coworker already booked a week off from work earlier than her to attend her cousin's wedding. If she wants to go on a last minute holiday with her kids, she will, and will bully or shame her coworkers to make them give up their day off for her, and if they refuse to do so, she’ll simply call in sick and take the vacation anyway.
    • This manager denies the submitter's vacation request that had been pending for eight months, just so she can take her own last-minute vacation, then threatens to fire the submitter if they miss even a single shift in that time period. When she's found out by the owner, she is written up (as it wasn't her first such incident) and forced to work every single shift that she had scheduled the submitter for, before being fired a week after that for making another employee push carts in a thunderstorm.
    • This interviewer does very little interviewing; she starts it twenty-five minutes late, spends most of the appointment rambling about her family, interrupts every time the submitter attempts to speak, automatically assumes that because she's a regular at the nearby adult store everybody else is as well and if they deny it they're just embarrassed, and asks if the submitter has any questions while already getting up to leave.

    J-K 
  • "Jeopardy!" Thinking Music: Used by this father to thwart a telemarketer.
  • Jerkass: Just like sister site Not Always Right, Not Always Working has more than a few jerks.
    • Like this receptionist.
      Receptionist: Well, too bad, you’ll have to wait. Now either go sit down with your ugly four-eyed daughter or take your [racial slur] selves home and make another appointment!
    • This boss, although she ends up fired in the end:
      Boss: How the f*** do you think this is wrapped correctly? Are you an idiot? Are you slooooooow or something? Hurr dee durr, I’m too stupid to wrap a f***ing breakfast sandwich!
    • This retail assistant manager acts like a jerk to pregnant people, forcing them to do work meant for other people and calling them the wrong name, for seemingly no reason. Unfortunately for the assistant manager, that behavior results in her getting chewed out by the store manager, and eventually transferred to another store when she continues harassing other pregnant employees despite his warning.
    • This credit card agency worker ignored a clerk's inquiry: "I heard you the first time, but that just went over my head so I ignored it. There’s nothing I can help you with here. Have a nice day."
    • This person at a truck reservation company refuses to reserve a truck for a customer and demands that they do it online themselves: "Uh, well, then I’d have to take down ALL of your information. I’m kinda busy, so... please visit our website and reserve the truck there. I don’t have time to help you."
    • A new manager at a company harasses an autistic employee because he cannot talk. One day she orders him to answer the phone despite him being mute. When the mute worker presses buttons repeatedly and hangs up instead of talking, the manager screams at him and fires him on the spot for insubordination. Fortunately, Laser-Guided Karma kicks in very quickly - the mute worker was actually talking in Morse Code with his brother, the CEO. Upon learning about what happened, the CEO promptly scolds the manager for her actions and fires her instead.
    • This nurse refused to give the migraine-suffering submitter (who was unable to take NSAIDs due to adverse reactions) the opiate shot for which she'd already made an appointment, tried to lie to her after the doctor said she could have the shot to get her to leave, accused her of being a drug addict, and threw the medication that had been prepared for her away. Fortunately a second nurse intervened and got the patient her medication. It turns out the bad nurse was married to one of the doctors at the same clinic, and was already on thin ice for her conduct; after the patient called to complain, both the nurse and her husband were fired.
    • The employees at this eye care facility are determined to blame the submitter for the fact that they have no record of their appointment, and even suggest that the submitter is in the wrong office. Eventually they determine that the submitter was supposed to have come in the previous day... except that the submitter made their appointment that morning. When they learn that the submitter spoke with a fifth employee who is not currently present, they realize that the mistake was his — but don't apologize for having been excessively rude.
    • This restaurant employee seems to not care one whit about hairs in a customer's sandwich, which is a clear health violation, and actually chastises the customer for complaining about it. Luckily, the manager straightens the situation out.
    • The customer who dealt with these pizza place workers isn't as lucky. Not only are the employees lazy and assholes, so is the manager, and he thinks the employees are the best he's ever had! The customer does get her payback, though, when the pizza place closes down and the former employees attempt to get a job where the customer works.
    • This employee wears their LGBT bigotry on their sleeve like it's some badge of honor. The manager, thankfully, has no tolerance for that crap, and fires them within the week.
    • This cashier acts like a jerk to the submitter who's under the WIC (Women, Infants and Children) program by refusing to help her separate which food items are permissible under WIC and forces her to do it herself while blaming her for making his work hard. When he purposely damages her eggs and tells her to get a new carton herself, his coworker, the bagger, has enough; he calls their manager, who is angry about his behavior and makes sure the cashier does his work properly under his watch. And the submitter's baby daughter gives a satisfying "The Reason You Suck" Speech on his bad behavior.
    • This Assistant Division Officer acts like an asshole to a sailor who is about to get married later that afternoon. The officer gives the sailor a list of tasks that will make him late for his wedding because he didn't like that the sailor and his fiancee were not getting married at a church but rather at city hall by a Justice of Peace, and proceeds to insult them by calling them sinners for ruining the sanctity of marriage. Despite the officer's talk about marriage, it is later revealed the officer was a Hypocrite when his wife discovered he was having an affair with a Rear Admiral's daughter!
    • This nurse thinks it's real cute that the submitter is acting like her disabled friend (the actual patient) is a real person with real feelings. Luckily, the doctor was right there, and gave the nurse a reality check (and a suspension).
    • These nurses, seeing an unconscious, bleeding man and his daughter breaking her leg trying to carry him into the hospital, refuse to help because they automatically assume the man is a drunk and the daughter is a druggie.
    • This cashier immediately calls for security just from seeing a Japanese person approaching the counter, automatically assuming she's going to steal something and calling her a "ching-chong" while the guard searches her bag. When it unsurprisingly turns out she made shit up, rather than apologize as the guard suggests, she shouts, "As if! I'm going on break!" The next time the submitter went there, that cashier was long gone.
    • This doctor acts holier-than-thou about a patient coming in hours after they notice symptoms (since they were at work and couldn't come in earlier), and then for good measure insults them for an unrelated condition they've had since birth. The patient outright refuses to let that doctor touch them after that point; fortunately, since this is far from the first time that doctor had been an asshole to patients, he's fired almost immediately.
    • This waiter, during slow moments where he's the only one working, decides to go up to perfectly-behaved customers and go completely berserk at them for no reason at all — and then, since he's the only waiter who saw what happened, make up false (and completely ridiculous) complaints from them and blame them for the results of his rampage; it's revealed he's gotten at least five other families thrown out and two families banned from the restaurant by pulling this stunt. Fortunately, the restaurant has security cameras, and once the boss checks the footage, he promptly fires the waiter without a word, and then compensates the submitter's meal.
    • This service rep of a bank refuses to believe that a charge is wrong, and shrugs it off by saying "Our system doesn't make mistakes", no matter how much proof the submitter gives that it's an error on their part. It escalates to the rep insulting her over it, and then for good measure accusing her of being a scammer when she asks for the rep's name to file a complaint; unsurprisingly, as the submitter discovers when filing the complaint, the asshole was fired the instant she ended the call.
    • These cooks thought it was funny to shut a claustrophobic high-functioning autistic worker in a walk-in freezer, causing the worker to almost have a full blown panic attack. Unfortunately, even though the submitter scolded the cooks, their manager agreed with them, thinking it was just a harmless prank. The worker quit that job immediately, and the submitter followed suit two months later.
      • This cook likewise thought it was funny to lock a pair of coworkers, one of them nine months pregnant, in a walk-in freezer - and then he forgot about them for twenty minutes because of a sudden rush of customers. And, again unfortunately, the manager actually writes the pregnant worker up for going back there in the first place.
    • These night shift workers at a retirement home refused to do extra work beyond their normal shift when the morning shift was delayed by a snowstorm, resulting in numerous residents being left to wait for assistance for more than an hour.
  • "I’m such a b***! Ha!" At least this jerk is honest about it.
  • This employee makes the assumption that a person is thin because they're anorexic (they're actually recovering from the flu). Even if they were right about it, calling them an "anorexic freak" to their face and trying to ring them up for a large regular soda and a cheeseburger against their request is not the way to handle such a situation.
  • This boss proudly displays her racism against a black delivery man like a billboard on a highway, calling the delivery company seemingly every day to complain about even the tiniest of mistakes made by the delivery man. The author eventually has enough of her bullshit and quits a week later, only to run into the same delivery man at her new job. The author then reveals the truth about her ex-boss, which ultimately ends up saving the delivery man's job as his manager was with him at the time; turns out, because one white supremacist complained about him so often for nonsensical reasons, one valid complaint was enough to threaten his job. Now knowing all complaints except one were racially motivated, the delivery company cuts the ex-boss's contract as a result of her hostility towards the delivery man.
  • This waitress first insists that the customer cannot order a certain dish without mushrooms. Then when the submitter orders a dish that doesn't come with mushrooms, the waitress intentionally screws it up by putting down extra extra mushrooms on the ticket, and proceeds to dismiss it as an accident. Fortunately, the manager sees through her lies and comps the submitter's meal, and the waitress is fired shortly after.
  • This coworker and manager do not like the submitter, and do whatever they can to get her fired, to no avail. When the coworker wishes to go to a music festival, she demands the submitter swap vacation time with her (after the manager tells her that if the submitter refuses, the manager will swap them anyway). The submitter refuses to do so, stating that the store manager had already approved a ten day vacation across the country three months prior. Therefore, the submitter verifies the schedule twice, once immediately before the conversation and once on her last day before vacation, and gets a supporting statement from a different coworker. As such, when the submitter is called into the store manager’s office, she is easily able to prove that the errant manager swapped the coworker with the submitter without the submitter’s permission after the submitter left. The proof, previous problems, and supporting testimony get both the coworker and manager fired.
  • This racist waiter, rather than give a black customer what he ordered, a lemonade and a cheeseburger, instead told the chef to make the customer sweet tea and fried chicken, a stereotypical Southern Black dish.
  • This vendor of homemade bath products at a street market runs off the submitter from his stand just because they happen to work at a store that sells products he clearly believes to be inferior to his own.
  • This sandwich shop worker is rude to the submitter and tries to screw up his order for the implied reason that she doesn't find him attractive. (She had no problem helping out (and flirting with) a construction worker ahead of the submitter.)
  • This boss fires the submitter for the sole reason that they were having a bad day and needed to take it out on someone. Unsurprisingly, the union isn't happy, and the submitter eventually gets her job back... while later, the manager loses theirs for using the company credit card for personal reasons.
  • This amusement park worker not only ignores the submitter when they tell them not to let anybody ride in a particular part of the ride they're supervising because somebody defecated on the seats and they weren't able to finish cleaning, but they then immediately go on break after breaking the news that somebody has now vomited in it too.
  • This store owner claims they're going on a ten minute lunch break, but ends up abandoning the submitter (on their first day) for hours to have sex. Then, after the submitter calls for assistance with processing a credit card refund, she takes another hour to get there and when she does blames the submitter for being an idiot. The (fortunately understanding) customer immediately offers the submitter another job, which they take on the spot.
  • This boss follows a heavily pregnant, female employee to an antenatal appointment regarding a possible complication with her pregnancy, tries to force her to continue taking notes for him in the doctor's office until he's chased out by the receptionist, and then files a grievance against the pregnant employee for leaving work without his permission. The head of HR, herself a mother, throws him out on his ass and gives the employee a promotion.
  • This agent for a bank's travel agency keeps insisting there is a $25 fee for cancelling a flight in favor of a cheaper one, even though the submitter has an email saying that cancellation is free, and the travel agency's website itself also says cancellation is free. When the submitter demands to speak to speak to a manager, the agent instead insults her and hangs up. Luckily, a second agent is able to get the manager, who gives the submitter a full refund, and then disciplines the first agent for his behavior.
  • Here we have a case of the OP being a Jerkass, and seemingly proud of it — taking out their frustration over a job they don't like by endlessly hassling an innocent Samsung training rep and mocking him for not understanding Korean, despite working for a Korean company. (Samsung is, of course, a global corporation, and doesn't require all its employees to speak the language of its head office.) The commenters unanimously lay into the poster over it, with some even questioning whether their subsequent departure from the company was by choice.
  • Karmic Jackpot:
  • Karmic Trickster: The IT employee submitter in this story, which plays out almost like a real life Looney Tunes short. A new teacher at the school the submitter works at steals the submitter's soda and pointedly refuses to pay the submitter back for it despite saying that he would (when the submitter confronts the teacher, the teacher claims to not know what the submitter is talking about and laughs them off). The teacher walks, and the IT employee decides to teach the teacher a lesson. When later setting up the teacher's new computer, the submitter makes his password "J3rk&Th!ef". Then they set the computer's start-up sound to be very loud audio from a soda commercial. Finally, all of the teacher's documents have "I steal from my coworkers" added to the header and bottom of them and the documents have "I'm a thief" automatically added to their filenames. It doesn't take very long for the teacher to admit defeat and pay the submitter the money he owes them, and the ending suggests that the teacher never did anything like this again.
  • The Key Is Behind the Lock:
  • Kill It with Fire: According to this electrician, It's the Only Way to Be Sure to kill a spider.
  • Kill Steal: In "Her Prized Obsession," some sales associates are competing to see who can get the most rewards card sign-ups.
    "I think I should get counted for this signup instead of you, because I spent so much time with her!"
  • The Klutz: The family in this story. Three of the four members manage to injure themselves in a water park. Thankfully, the employees are understanding and even give them free passes.
  • Knight In Sour Armor: This manager provides the best customer service, but not because he actually cares about the often-idiotic customer; he just wants them think he cares so they'll pay the bill and leave happy and with a minimum of fuss.
  • Know-Nothing Know-It-All:
    • A distressing number of stories set in a hospital will involve nurses and even doctors that apparently never actually went to medical school but still blow off legitimate concerns from a patient with nothing more than "I know better than you because I'm a nurse/the doctor."
    • This tour guide seems to have got it in her head that she knows everything there is to know about the Titanic without having to do any research simply by being a tour guide, and as such she becomes very angry when the submitter, who has done the research, turns out to know more than she does.
    • This security guard seems to think his medical knowledge is equivalent to that of an experienced surgeon just because he watches a lot of medical dramas, and therefore he can tell that an epileptic seizure was faked because the man deliberately laid down before the seizure, and therefore it's a Wounded Gazelle Gambit intended to lead to a lawsuit (never mind the fact the man stated that the casino was not at fault). What he doesn't realize is that medical dramas prioritize pacing, viewer comprehension, and the Rule of Drama over medical accuracy and, among other things, tend to exaggerate medical emergencies as a result. Including epileptic seizures, which in fiction happen out of nowhere causing injury because drama, whereas on this side of the fourth wall, most epileptic people can mitigate it because an "aura" alerts them to what's about to happen, hence the man lying down. Several real medical professionals have trouble convincing him that it was an actual epileptic fit because he holds so much faith in his medical drama knowledge.

    L 
  • Lame Pun Reaction: This person groans at an employee's tea pun.
  • Laser-Guided Karma: The point of a great deal of the stories, if not a majority of them.
    • Make rude homophobic remarks about the submitter, based off of wrongful assumptions that he is gay? Your boss is right behind you and heard everything you said. Oops.
    • "Perhaps you should be careful how you speak about your employees. You could offend someone."
    • Another boss, after refusing to allow the submitter to take her lunch break, orders her to climb down from a ladder she was at the top of to allow a customer to use the restroom. When the three customers the submitter was serving overhear what happened, they call the boss out on his laziness. The boss promptly claims Screw the Rules, I Make Them!, only for one of them to reveal himself as the district manager. The boss gives up and allows the submitter to take her break, and the district manager chews him out for his behavior.
    • Schedule a worker to work on their graduation day after he's requested it off? Especially after you promised it? Looks like YOU'LL be doing that work instead.
    • Yet another asshole boss is bitten by karma, after he puts himself above the customers the submitter is serving. To make it even sweeter, not only did the boss get fired for his blatant disregard of the customers, the submitter got a promotion!
    • Here's one where we see the customer invoke the trope after the Bad Boss yells at the cashier in front of them, and the others nearby follow suit as well.
    • Almost immediately after the unjust firing of an employee, this boss is found to have been Making Love in All the Wrong Places with a coworker; the firing of the first employee is reversed, and both the Bad Boss and his coworker are fired instead.
    • Both kinds are present in this story. After one coworker makes a rude comment about an elderly lady, the submitter then goes over to help her instead, being polite the whole time. The lady's granddaughter then delivers the appropriate karma to both employees — good karma (a hug) for the submitter, and bad karma (a kick to the shin) for the coworker.
    • Make vitriolic fat jokes to a plus-size customer and refuse her service? Her friend owns the store and also knows the manager. Enjoy the last moments of your job before it gets taken away from you.
    • Try to force a pregnant employee to do work that puts her unborn child in danger? You're doing the work yourself. Try that behavior again with another pregnant employee? You're not working in that store anymore.
    • Harass a mute worker and make him answer a phone (which he physically cannot do), then fire him when he presses a button repeatedly and hangs up instead of talking? He's actually talking in Morse Code with his brother, the company CEO, who then comes in to personally scold and fire you instead.
    • This worker refuses to help a customer find sweeping compound, claiming they don't have it. His supervisor orders him to clock out while she helps the customer get his item. The worker lies to the boss that she tried to fire him. Too bad for the worker, the customer told the boss what really happened and how the supervisor helped him, which got the worker fired instead.
    • This guy refuses to let a sailor take the days off to get married and have his honeymoon because he didn't schedule to have the ceremony at a church, calling his fiancé a whore and claiming they're ruining the sanctity of his marriage. A few days later, word slipped to said man's wife that he had been sleeping with a rear admiral's daughter — the last line of the sentence implying the aforementioned groom, or possibly the writer of the story, may have had something to do with it.
    • Being lazy by not making the shakes your coworker asked you to make and lie that it was the coworker's job and they're the lazy one? The manager knows you're lying, and orders you to sweep the entire lot in the rain.
    • Deliberately throw away customers' orders because you don't like working during rush hour? Now you're transferred to the graveyard shift where you have to deal with drunks and stoners!
    • Rudely telling an American who's been living abroad in Ireland they're a no-good lying foreigner and refusing to serve her? You final moments of employment at that job will consist of her humiliating you big-time by singing a Major General Song as proof that she's American, followed by your boss chewing you out and showing you the door.
    • This girl is nothing but snide and holier-than-thou to someone who got a speeding ticket that was most definitely an accident, calling him stupid multiple times; thankfully, the manager is more level-headed and offers to rectify the bogus ticket. When the submitter goes to the station to do so, the same receptionist continues to call him stupid, right in front of her manager, who then fires her on the spot for her behavior.
    • This registrar and his boss purposely register girls into ballet and gymnastics classes regardless of what they actually wanted, because the registrar is a sexist who doesn't believe girls can play sports and his boss wants the classes to meet its quota of 9 students each so they won't get cancelled. They get their comeuppance when two mothers who wanted sports classes for their daughters, outraged over what these men did, organize a boycott, to the effect that only 16 of the 37 children who were signed up for sports (all boys) actually attend these classes, leaving most (possibly all, depending on what they were signed up for) of these classes cancelled!
    • This store manager went out of his way to avoid ever working on the holidays, against company policy, including scheduling a shift manager to work on Thanksgiving four years running. He was found out when one of the workers he screwed over called corporate, was forced to work Thanksgiving and possibly Christmas, and was demoted and transferred to another store.
    • This worker repeatedly sexually harassed other female employees, who could do nothing about it, since he ignored their requests to stop and his father was the boss, who likewise ignored any complaints. When someone to whom the boss is not actually a superior gets fed up and does something about itnote , the boss immediately threatens to fire her — only for the owner to fire him and his son instead, after which he assists the employee in filing a sexual harassment lawsuit on those two.
    • This lunch manager threatens to fire a worker who tried call in sick because of pink eye. The morning manager, knowing how contagious pink eye can be, personally clocks out the worker and orders them to stay home until they recover. The lunch manager is then ordered to personally clean and sanitize everything the sick worker had touched as punishment for forcing them to come in.
    • Act rude and crass to a business secretary? Better to not do that, because that just might be the owner filling in, who will make sure you never get another contract.
    • An extremely racist carpet salesperson refuses to take their turn helping a customer because he is African-American, repeatedly calls him a racial slur, implies he's a criminal, etc. Then it turns out he's a sports player, and carpeted his entire home in expensive carpeting, and therefore the racist salesperson just missed out on a huge commission.
    • This club-goer is treated extremely poorly by a bartender, who tries to sabotage his night by purposely ignoring him for long periods of time and intentionally pouring him a more expensive drink than he wanted. The karmic part comes when the bartender accidentally gives the club-goer $10 bills instead of $1 bills as change. The club-goer gets a female friend to pretend to be enamored with him as he returns to the bar, orders some expensive drinks, and leaves a penny tip for the bartender.
    • This salesperson immediately decides the submitter (dressed shabbily because she just got off from working at a dog kennel) is broke and possibly homeless, claiming she can't stay and trying to tell her what she can and can't afford even as the submitter buys a gift card for her father worth $250 — and a different salesperson gets the commission for it.
    • This cook has listened to a customer go into detail about what goes into a garden burger (said customer was vegan, and unlike many examples in Not Always Right, actually fit the definition), only to make the garden burger using butter (a dairy product, and not vegan). When this mistake is brought to the cook's attention by the submitter, the cook replies "F*** it. She won’t notice." Not only does the customer notice, she's enraged enough to throw the tainted garden burger directly at the cook who made it!
    • This demanding worker keeps pestering his coworkers and HR with unreasonable demands, barely staying behind the line between being retained and being fired. When he makes one more demand to HR, saying "if you won't give this to me, I quit"; the HR worker takes the ultimatum at face value — as if the problem worker is quitting.
    • This Welshcake seller, who ignores one family who wanted to order Welshcakes from her due to their children speaking English accents, gets the same treatment in turn when another Welshcake seller invites the family to order cakes from his stall, saying his cakes are better than hers. This leads all of the customers to ignore the first seller and go to the other seller.
    • This worker refuses to serve two Muslim women because he believes that they are terrorists, yelling at them to leave and saying "We don’t serve sand-n*** here." When the manager comes out, the worker insists that the customers need to leave, citing the right to refuse service because he thinks they're terrorists. The worker is fired the next day for discrimination, and the two customers get their orders for free.
    • This lingerie store worker who refuses to serve plus size customers and rudely flirts with the male customers in front of their wives/girlfriends finally gets her punishment when she makes a husband uncomfortable by first trying to flirt with him, then calling him a freak after learning he wants to buy a gift for his plus size wife. As it happens, the regional manager — her boss's boss — is shopping nearby and sees the whole thing. The regional manager promptly fires the worker for her behavior and orders her to leave the store.
    • A manager charged with reducing company costs decides not to fire three workers himself, but to excuse himself with a "business trip", "promote" a lower-ranked employee in his absence, and charge them with firing three workers before his return. A friend in Corporate authorizes the put-upon employee to fire the irresponsible manager instead, and formally promotes the submitter.
    • This submitter went Christmas shopping after work, only for a sales clerk and manager to both decide that because he's still in his work clothes (for a juvenile "boot camp"), he's obviously a homeless person planning to steal those items and sell them to buy drugs. This trope kicks in after the manager calls the cops, who address the submitter as "Sarge".
      Manager: Why do you keep insisting on calling this bum 'Sarge'?
      Police Officer: Because he's my boss.
    • File an incorrect repair order with the secretary instead of the janitors, refusing to cooperate and heaping abuse and threats on them both the whole time? The secretary shreds the work order since it's not her problem.
    • This poster got back from their lunch break to find that a coworker had rummaged through their desk and taken a bottle of hot sauce. Specifically, a bottle of Blazing Inferno Hellfire Sauce — the poster never uses more than a single drop on their food, but judging by the physical reaction the coworker used a lot more. The coworker had to take the day off without pay to recover (and no longer takes anything from the poster's desk).
    • This mail loader refuses to load mail for a driver because said driver isn't white, proudly admitting that she's not doing her job to her boss's face and even using a racial slur to describe that driver. Her boss, the submitter, fires her on the spot for her bigotry, and later rebuffs a Lawful Stupid-at-best union rep for trying to defend her.
    • Try to fire an employee for a pre-existing scanner malfunction that he had no control over in a way that would violate company discipline policy even if it was his fault? Enjoy causing a corporate crackdown on unfair discipline and falling victim to it.note 
    • Force a worker to go outside and push carts in a thunderstorm (which might we add, can have potentially lethal consequences), and then scream at and fire them when they (rightfully) voice their concerns? They'll go right to the owner, and you'll be the one out of a job.
    • Change an employee's schedule at the last minute without telling them, and fire them for showing up late while blaming them for not checking their schedule? They'll take it up with HR, who will then discover your history of pulling the same stunt on other employees you didn't like. Say goodbye to your job, missy.
    • Force an off-duty cashier to work off the clock even when he makes it clear that he's just there to shop on his day off, and then fire him for insubordination when he refuses? The store director knows what you're trying to pull, and fires you instead for breaking labor laws.
    • Fire an innocent employee just because you're having a bad day and want to take out your frustration on them? Good luck explaining that to the union... and the owner, who'll make you reinstate that employee with back pay, and later catch you trying to book an unauthorized vacation to Florida on the company's credit card.
    • Publicly scream at and belittle an interviewee for your bar, and describe them as unhireable by anyone? Half of your staff quits on the spot, including your cook and both managers, you'll get frustrated and fire the other half of your staff the next day, and you'll be forced to shut down your bar within the week because you can't find any replacements.
    • This teen who just got her driver's license finds out that the submitter just got their license at the age of 26 and proceeds to mock and gloat to the submitter about not getting their license when they were a teen like her. She is promptly scolded by the manager (who didn't get her own license until she was thirty) and quits the next day to avoid talking with the manager about her behavior and to avoid working with "losers who didn't get their license at sixteen". She loses her driver's license a mere two days later after she doesn't stop for a school bus.
    • Write up and then fire an employee for refusing to work during their unpaid lunch break? Not only does your boss know what's really going on, he suspends and then fires you instead when he discovers your history of forcing other employees to work off the clock.
    • A man on a motorcycle deliberately hits the submitter and insults them before speeding off. Later the same day, the submitter and their wife decide to order a pizza from a nearby restaurant. The person who delivers the pizza ends up being none other than the Jerkass who hit the submitter with his motorcycle earlier! The man, in full-on Oh, Crap! mode, attempts to flee, but the submitter gets their license plate number and reports them to the restaurant's manager. The bully is immediately fired.
    • After having enough working with a jerkass manager who constantly got away for his actions due to the manager being gay and his bosses afraid of being accused of homophobia, the submitter quits his job. And when the manager tries to accuse the submitter quit because of homophobia, the submitter shuts him up by revealing he's actually a pansexual who's in polygamous relationship with several partners including a transgender woman and he's actually quitting because the manager is an asshole and horrible human being and unlike the manager, doesn't use his sexuality as an excuse for bad behavior. And in one parting shot, the submitter had revealed to the manager's husband that the manager has been having an affair with another Co-worker. As a result, the manager's husband left him which forced a change of behaviour for the manager.
  • Lethally Stupid: These ushers, instead of quietly going up to a moviegoer and asking him to stop playing with his phone, point out the moviegoer who complained! To make matters worse, the moviegoer who complained and her friend were small, young women and the disobedient one was a tall man described as being 'like a Football Hooligan' and he's waiting by the entrance. Luckily, nothing bad happened to the girls.
  • Lightbulb Joke:
    • Referenced here.
    • This return of a defective item ends with the similar joke, "How many employees does it take to open a blender?"
    • Here is one where a customer gets a chance to do it.
  • Literal Metaphor: "As I've been saying, gentlemen, if you want to talk to the witness, you're really going to have to talk to the clown down there."
  • Literal-Minded:
    • This bakery employee, when instructed to "draw hearts", wrote just that.
    • This Cashier doesn't seem to realize hamburger doesn't really need ham.
    • This waiter, when told by the customer she wanted to bring the wine bottle home, rather than cork the half full wine bottle, proceeds to dump and waste the wine into a bucket and give the customer the empty bottle. Needless to say, the waiter only got tipped a penny for his stupidity, and was fired some time after.
    • This cashier refuses to take a coupon, thinking the phrase "this coupon cannot be combined with any other offer" applies to all offers, including the exact offer that the coupon was for to begin with. Worse yet, when the submitter calls for her manager, he sides with the cashier, at which point the submitter gives up and leaves empty-handed. Luckily, a location in the next town over accepts the coupon without question.
    • This cashier thinks that a "limit of 2 per customer" stipulation for a sale price on bread means that the customer isn't allowed to buy more than 2 loaves of bread at all, regardless of if they're charged the regular price for the extra loaves.
    • This cashier believes that it's illegal to sell somebody alcohol unless they're exactly 21 years old (and refuses to acknowledge the 'or older' part of the policy).
    • A customer orders a hamburger with nothing on it and is given an empty bun without even a patty on it.
  • Loophole Abuse: This manager makes last-second changes to the schedules of employees that she doesn't like, to effectively give herself a reason to discipline them. One employee fights back after being wrongfully fired this way and exposes her whole scheme in doing so, which results in the manager's own termination.
  • Ludd Was Right: Seemingly the belief of this shopkeeper. The store has an iPad equipped with a credit card reader, but he refuses to honor the submitter's credit card or even accept the submitter's attempts to learn how to use it.
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