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    B 
  • Bad Boss: Lots of them. Many of the rest fall into the category of Pointy-Haired Boss.
    • This guy's name may as well be Dilbert. In fact, the story's events happened almost verbatim in a Dilbert comic.
    • This boss fires an employee for wrongdoings that never actually happened. Fortunately, the employee gets severance pay out of it when she threatens to bring it up with the Labour Relations Board after the boss fails to produce a paper trail.
    • There's apparently a store where, at least within reason, being a bad boss is mandatory — the submitter ends up promoted to the bad manager's position after he intentionally breaks labor laws by making her work far longer than allowed. However, when she tries to avoid the same situation by covering for a co-worker's break a few months later, they actually reprimand her for doing her job, to which she immediately quits and never returns.
    • This boss actually pulled a Did You Actually Believe...? on an office worker after he was ordered to work overtime to get a major order done by Monday.
      Boss: (laughing) You actually stayed here until midnight? You’re stupid!
      Worker: ...excuse me?
      Boss: There would be no way I would've done that much overtime for this. We didn't even need it until Thursday of this week anyway. It could have waited!
    • This manager and his daughter have been stealing money from their company for half a year — and when they're about to be found out, the manager tries to get the worker processing the case to take the fall for it. It doesn't work, and the manager not only loses his job, he ends up jailed for embezzlement.
    • Apparently, some managers somehow believe that being ill or having to go to the hospital are not excuses for missing work:
      • The lunch manager in this story threatens to fire a worker with pinkeye if they call out sick again and forces them to work with the highly contagious condition. When the morning manager learns what happened, he responds by forcing the lunch manager to disinfect everything the sick worker had touched as punishment for her threats.
      • Another manager actually does fire a worker for not coming in sick. All this despite the worker sending in no less than three separate emails to her boss stating that she had the flu, and her dad painstakingly explaining his daughter's situation to the boss over the phone.
      • Yet another manager writes up an employee for leaving work early, even though the worker left in an ambulance that the boss called in himself. The disgruntled employee refuses to sign the writeup and quits on the spot.
      • Still another manager threatens to fire a worker if they call in sick ever again, regardless of the circumstances — such as the massive concussion they suffered at work a few days prior — because in his eyes the submitter is just being lazy. Sure enough, the submitter wakes up one day vomiting excessively from the concussion, asks if they can at least come in later, and subsequently loses their job. And then the manager has the gall to ask the worker if they'll be able to make it in for one of their busiest work days of the year, calling the entire above situation a "misunderstanding" and claiming they quit of their own accord rather than being wrongfully fired - even after the submitter calls him out on his Blatant Lies. The submitter then promptly pulls a Take This Job and Shove It, as they proceed to deliver a massive "The Reason You Suck" Speech to the asshole manager (for giving the submitter unreasonable working hours that didn't give them time to even get home and back between shifts for a month and a half, and completely ignoring repeated complaints about this) and then hang up.
      • In the same vein, the submitter throws up and calls the manager to clock out, as the contract states that anyone who does vomit cannot return for forty-eight hours. The manager instead threatens to fire the submitter for "walking out," even when explicitly told what is going on. The submitter dares the manager to fire her under the circumstances. The manager gladly obliges; however, her boss, upon finding out exactly what happened, nixes the firing, demotes the manager to a server, and promotes the submitter to team leader.
      • Then there's this store manager, who threatens to fire the submitter for staying an extra day in the hospital after a medical emergency, and then makes good on that threat when the submitter comes in the next day, even though the submitter brought in doctor's notes detailing everything. The submitter promptly calls HR, who sends the district manager in to reverse the illegal firing. The submitter, stating that she is able to work with limitations, gives the DM her doctor's notes, which the DM then reads aloud to the manager. The manager then tries to fire the submitter again for "not being able to do everything", at which point the DM just gives the submitter paid leave, and then fires the manager later after discovering her history of issuing false write-ups and threats against workers for calling out sick.
      • Yet another example with this bookstore manager. A worker gets into an accident during a ski trip which left her hospitalized with a broken arm and leg, and cannot come in for three weeks. However, the manager thinks she's just being lazy for not asking for that time off and writes her up, much to the horror of her coworker, who already explained that the worker was badly injured and cannot come to work. When the worker does come back to work, with her broken arm and leg in plaster, the manager forces her to get a book on a high shelf and threatens to fire her if she doesn't, because according to him she's just lazy. After twenty-five painful minutes attempting to get the book, rather than thanking the worker, he just snatches the book away and calls her lazy again. Thankfully, the manager was quickly fired after the worker complained to the owner.
    • This boss writes up an employee after they refused to help a customer find a prostitute. Who cares if prostitution is illegal? Needless to say, the employee quits soon after.
    • This boss does not give a damn whether his waiters are being rude to customers over completely inconsequential things like what sort of drink a woman orders, or that said customers are taking their business elsewhere because of this — but once he realizes one of them is an esteemed local food critic, his tune changes. Of course, this is only to ward off a bad review, rather than to actually make it up to paying customers that were mistreated (as evidenced by him repeatedly referring to things like the waiter deliberately spilling the woman's drink as a "misunderstanding"), which does not earn him their favor. The story ends by revealing that the restaurant went under shortly after this incident, despite (or perhaps because of) the critic not even mentioning them, while giving a positive review to the restaurant across the street where he and his wife actually ate.
    • This assistant manager, as accidentally revealed after a prank gone wrong, has been stealing from his own store, both for himself and his friend.
    • Likewise, this assistant manager, in addition to pretending to be the owner, had been opening the restaurant where he worked on Mondays (when they're normally closed), only to give his friends free food, which had been cutting into their profits; the other employees unwittingly went along with this because the assistant manager had them believing it was a weekly fundraiser for charity, and thus they were volunteering for a good cause. The actual owner had him fired over this, as evidenced by referring to him as "my now ex-assistant manager".
    • This boss actually fires an employee for clocking their hours correctly, because showing up two hours before you're actually scheduled and not clocking in right then, thus getting paid for not doing work, is "antisocial behavior". Unsurprisingly, the company ends up having to close multiple locations because of financial issues, and the "social" one is the very first to go.
    • This boss expects a worker to clean up an active biohazard without any sort of protective gear, because calling the city about it would cost too much, yet loaning the worker equipment they're not trained in, or letting them buy the equipment themselves, would be illegal. The worker quits on the spot.
    • This team leader kept writing up a part-time worker for things they had absolutely no way of knowing beforehand. The part-time worker eventually quit over it.
    • This owner offers the submitter a full-time position (they were working part-time both there and at another job)... then waits until the submitter hands in their two weeks' notice at the other place before telling them she can't actually hire them on full-time. Worse, this immediately precedes the submitter learning they will be working 36 hours a week, which basically is full-time (it legally counts as such in other parts of the world) but is just shy enough from it to still avoid the U.S.'s full-time laws so the new employer doesn't have to provide benefits.
    • This assistant manager traps his employee with PTSDnote  to prevent him from taking a break, assuming he was faking just as an excuse to be lazy. Not only is the assistant manager chewed out by the boss when the employee has a panic attack, he's promptly fired for blocking an exit, creating a fire hazard.
    • This boss blames the submitter for tearing a document that never once left the boss's hands. And this is apparently a regular occurrence, too; luckily for the submitter, he was able to get away by joining the National Guard.
    • This church secretary is forced to become a security guard for the in-house daycare by the church's council. They point out that they don't know the kids' parents, their existing work takes them all over the building so they can't keep watch over the kids, and they were hired as a secretary, not as a security guard — and yet they're forced to do the extra work anyway, and are even written up for objecting to it even though the council member admitted that the objections were correct. They quit two months later, and later learn that whole situation was designed specifically to force them to quit.
    • This bakery owner screams at people for the most minor mistakes, to such an extreme extent that her employees are terrified of her. The submitter, then a trainee, refused to work there any longer if that was how her boss would react to slight mistakes from the new girl, and found a place of employment with "a less psycho owner."
    • This employee was dismissed without unemployment benefits for racism, because they mentioned "Muslims and prayer time" in a speech. Apparently, Muslims are a race now, and taking into account anything they do differently from other religions is discrimination, somehow. Although the employee never got the job back, the unemployment agency overturned the employer's decision to deny unemployment, thus allowing the employee to get benefits until they could find a new job.
    • This ableist manager orders an autistic mute employee to answer the phone — something he obviously cannot do. When the employee repeatedly presses a button and hangs up instead of talking, she screams at him and fires him on the spot. Turns out the caller was the employee's brother, who a) understood the Morse Code his brother was sending, and b) is the CEO. Upon learning the circumstances under which his brother was fired, the enraged CEO furiously berates the asshole manager and promptly fires her instead for discrimination.
    • This boss for a video editing company is apparently so racist that she picks on the company's delivery man solely because of his skin color. Her racism actually caused problems for the delivery man as he had accumulated enough complaints from this woman for a single valid complaint to threaten his job. The submitter quits the job and later encounters the same delivery man (as well as another man with him) at their new job. The delivery man is in a rather upset state (because his job is now in jeopardy), and the submitter finally lets slip about their boss's racist attitudes. It turns out the other man was the manager for the delivery company and upon hearing the submitter's comments, lets the delivery man stay and terminates the delivery company's contract with the former boss out of disgust.
    • This boss sends an employee out for carts in the middle of a severe thunderstorm, and then screams at and fires them when they do not comply. Luckily, Laser-Guided Karma kicks in right away when her boss finds this out, and, thanks to an extensive history of screaming in front of customers, she is immediately fired the next day for intentionally putting the employee's life in danger. If the manager here is the same person (as the comments imply), she also has a history of rejecting months-in-advance vacation requests, potentially causing financial shitshows due to cancellation fees and making vacation time impossible to arrange unless higher-ups catch her, in order to arrange her own last-minute vacations and threatening to write up the employee she stole vacation time from if they object.
    • This produce manager fires an employee because she refused to handle produce in an unsafe manner (and it's stated that he's been written up for forcing other employees to do so in the past). When the submitter (the store's general manager) forces him to to call up the wrongfully fired employee to apologize, the produce manager instead hurls an insult-laden "The Reason You Suck" Speech at the poor woman and tells her that she deserved to be fired. He does this while still in the presence of the submitter, who, after a few moments of silent disbelief, gives the manager some choice words, fires him on the spot, and bans him from the store for life. As for the unjustly fired employee, she was hired back shortly afterward into the jerk manager's former position as produce manager and has held it ever since.
    • The restaurant manager in this story. A new waitress dives to avoid being groped by a creepy customer, who falls over and proceeds to hurl a string of invective and foul insults at her. The waitress' supervisor throws the man and his friends out, but the next day the manager blames her for the incident and gives her a warning over it. According to him, male customers just can't help attempting to sexually assault waitresses, and she just has to "get used to it". Unsurprisingly, she quits on the spot.
    • Some managers don't understand that being off the clock means you legally cannot work:
      • This manager asks the submitter, a cashier, to go on register, not seeming to notice (or care) that the submitter is just shopping on their day off, and is not in uniform. She angrily sends him to the office, where she fires him on the spot for insubordination, only for the store director to intervene and tell her that firing the submitter would be illegal.note  The director then fires the manager instead for intentionally breaking federal labor laws.
      • Similarly, this supervisor expects the submitter to help an elderly lady while off the clock, even after she sent them on their lunch break just beforehand. Worse yet, she writes them up for refusing to do so, then fires them on the spot when they refuse to sign it. The unamused submitter goes to the store manager, who, upon reviewing security footage, suspends the supervisor for two weeks, and then fires her almost immediately afterwards when he discovers that she had been forcing other employees to work off the clock.
    • This new manager dislikes the submitter because he has Asperger's syndrome, and concocts a scheme where his wife poses as a customer, smashes a jar, and then claims the submitter threw it at her to get him fired (which the manager then does). Unfortunately for him, the submitter isn't willing to take this lying down, and contacts Human Resources. It turns out that the manager forgot to delete the security footage proving that the event was a setup, allowing HR to discover the truth within just three days. The manager is promptly fired upon discovery of the scam, and both he and his wife receive lifetime bans from company property, while the submitter gets his job back.
    • The general manager at this restaurant is a complete and utter Jerkass; not only does he shout and swear at the submitter in front of all the other customers, he blows off an elderly lady when she tries to defend the submitter. Then, when the lady dares to show some sympathy to the submitter by giving her a tip, he blows his lid, steals the tip, and fires the submitter at the top of his lungs. The unamused lady stands up, delivers a "The Reason You Suck" Speech to the general manager's face, and leaves. The district manager then finds out what happened before the day is over, and he reverses the firing, instead firing the general manager for his treatment of the submitter.
    • This asshole fires the submitter literally because she had a bad day and wanted to lash out at someone, even going so far as to literally put it down on the pink slip as the reason for the firing. Needless to say, it doesn't hold up very well with the union and the business owner, and the submitter is reinstated with back pay, although the manager is surprisingly not directly fired for her actions. She is, however, fired for a separate incident soon after, when she tries to book a trip to an amusement park with the company's credit card.
    • This store manager refuses to accomodate for the submitter's ankle injury, and forces her to work register or else lose her job, claiming that she's only faking it to get easier duties, even though the submitter has a signed doctor's note stating that she cannot perform duties that require standing up (like register). The submitter calls the district manager and explains what happens. The DM then chews out the store manager over the phone for refusing to acknowledge the note, with the store manager even admitting her actions were illegal. This ultimately gets her fired for discrimination and a multitude of other reasons.
  • Bait-and-Switch: The beginning of this story made quite a number of posts think it was actually another story (never mind the fact that the odds of someone else witnessing the same circumstances and submitting them to this website are astronomical). To elaborate, the older story involved a Designated Hero standing in line at a supermarket and holding everyone up because she was observing Remembrance Day, whereas the later story also had a woman holding up a supermarket line, but that was because she was having a seizure. In the latter story's case, the cashier refused to help the customer even when the submitter, who happened to be a doctor, said that she was having a seizure, because "if she was having a seizure she'd be writhing on the floor, wouldn't she?". The cashier also voided both the sick customer and the doctor's purchases because they stepped out of line, saying that "they must be joking if they thought she would give them their shopping back."
  • Beam Me Up, Scotty!: invoked This submitter, when held up by TSA employees because of a Star Trek salt-and-pepper shaker, has to quote the trope name because said TSA employees have apparently never heard of Star Trek, and as such can't recognize lines that actually were spoken on the show.
  • Be Careful What You Wish For: "If you can prove yourself, you WILL have my job, and then you can do all this work all the time."
  • Belief Makes You Stupid:
    • “But who doesn’t celebrate Easter?!” Uh, the Jewish, for starters.
    • This Jewish duty manager threw out £15,000 worth of food because it wasn't kosher, despite the fact that restaurant wasn't a kosher-only restaurant. Worse, she is rather hypocritical where she calls another Jewish worker "not a real Jew" because he called her out on her actions - she wants people to respect her beliefs but won't respect other faiths, and when the submitter meets her again after she was fired, she was seen eating a bacon sandwich, a very non-kosher food.
  • Benevolent Boss: In some of these stories, where a lower-level employee is the culprit, the employee's manager will step in to intervene. And in a few of these occurrences, the boss will subvert this by being, in his/her own way, nearly as bad as the employee.
    • Here's one such boss that manages to get a Bad Boss (and his girlfriend) fired.
    • This gym owner finds that a homeless man has been living in the gym's locker rooms and begging food from other gym members (the man lost his previous job when he caught his ex-wife sleeping with his boss). The owner hires the man as a live-in maintenance worker so that he can repay those other members and get back on his feet.
    • The owner in this story had been actively bending every rule he could to treat his employees generously. When one worker gets greedy over bonus checks, the owner simply gives them exactly what they'd asked for— merit-based bonus checks (the greedy worker hadn't contributed much to the project), and a departure without being fired (making them ineligible for severance pay).
    • The store director in this story puts a Bad Boss in her place after the submitter is wrongfully fired for effectively refusing to work off the clock.
  • Bilingual Backfire:
  • Blatant Lies:
    • This lady lies about her qualifications to get a job, lies that her boyfriend is a lawyer, and then after getting fired, lies to her new employer that she was assistant manager at the store that fired her after seeing through her lies.
    • This CSR is pretty desperate not to have to do a return.
    • This manager tries to claim credit for the submitter's work for helping a customer's order. Too bad the store manager knew he was lying due to the fact that the customer knew the submitter's name.
    • This person gets rid of a telemarketer by saying that their mother was "mauled to death by a horde of angry platypi" led by Perry the Platypus. The telemarketer believes it, offers condolences, and hangs up.
    • "There was a bear."
    • This agent is politely told to call between specific hours if they want a manager who can answer their question. She immediately calls back and, oblivious to the fact that the employee who answered was the exact same one as the last time, claims that "the last bitch I spoke to" was being rude.
    • This waitress lies to a customer about bringing his food out when they actually never received it. When the couple objects, the manager (her father) claims they're trying to scam the restaurant. When the owner then comes out to investigate, he discovers that the waitress had been eating the submitter's food herself. The waitress and her father are both fired and the couple's meal is comped.
    • "I'm dead now."
    • "Ignore the salespeople."
    • This employee has made a habit of calling out sick without ever furnishing a doctor's note, to the point where their boss (the submitter) demands one the next time they come in to prove their "illness". So what does the employee bring in the next day? A hastily typed up doctors note listing, among other discrepancies, a 555 number and street address, and Ronald McDonald as the alleged "doctor". The unamused submitter immediately shows the lazy employee the door.
  • Blazing Inferno Hellfire Sauce: This person has a coworker steal a bottle of their hot sauce... a sauce so hot, the submitter had to buy it online and only used a drop at a time. The thief didn't know this, and while the story doesn't say how much he used, he ended up vomiting and having to take the day off (unpaid) to recover.
  • Bluff the Impostor: How one supposed satellite TV company caller gets caught.
  • Bothering by the Book: When the subject of a story isn't an employee being unnecessarily rude or incredibly lazy, it's probably because someone is following procedure to the letter, to the detriment of everything else. Examples:
  • Breaking the Fourth Wall: ...from the wrong side.
  • Brick Joke: "I'm going to kill (Coworker)!" "No fair! I called dibs!"
  • Buffy Speak: Big spoony thing.
    • This one: A customer asking for an item says, "It goes on the counter; you put the things in it? You know for, like, the mix-y and the... the scoopy and the... STUFF!" After the worker manages to figure it out, he says, "I have a second job as a bartender. I don’t speak ‘Idiot’ but I DO speak ‘Drunk,’ and it’s nearly the same thing."
  • Bystander Syndrome: I was supposed to use a fire extinguisher?
    • These employees who are running a rock concert venue The submitter and their family had bought tickets from a seemingly-illegal reseller vendor on the venue's own website. The family complains that the venue should be able to filter out the illegal vendors that advertise on the site. The employees and manager claim it's in their policy to only accept from certain vendors, but the family never found such a policy on the site. One employee even tells them that it's not their problem their website has illegal vendors on it. At the least the owner was more sympathetic and apologized for the inconvenience following the submitter posting a nasty review online. note 
    • This trope shows up depressingly often, and nearly every story in the Lazy/Unhelpful section is guaranteed to have an employee just throw up their arms and go "it's not my problem", even though almost every time this happens it is their problem.

    C 
  • Caffeine Bullet Time: "All I saw was a green blur!"
  • Calvinball: Trope namedropped and in full effect here.
  • Cassandra Truth:
    • A textbook example.
    • Despite the fact that the doctor knows the patient is a virgin and her pregnancy test is negative, the student nurse helping out still believes the patient is pregnant.
    • This boss dismisses the author's flu as a "head cold" and threatens to fire her, despite the author sending three separate emails. Making matters worse, even after the author's father goes in to painstaking detail why his daughter cannot come to work, the boss screams at him over the phone, and later fires the author anyway for not showing up.
    • This store manager is so desperate to protect his recent promotion that he tries to deny that a teenage YouTuber is illegally camping in the store for a challenge video, even after being shown previous videos of them doing it in that exact store. Not desperate enough to stay late and make sure they're gone before closing, though.
  • Casual Kink: "You'll make a man very happy someday."
  • Child Hater:
    • This fast-food cashier is particularly hostile towards a 10-year-old girl for seemingly no legitimate reason. The girl calls the cashier out on her immature and impolite behavior after her response to several mistakes in the order. Eventually, the cashier calls the girl an "ungrateful bitch", which pushes her Berserk Button big time. When the girl demands to see the manager, the cashier refuses. The girl flips her off and returns later with her mother, and they explain everything to the manager. The cashier is called into the manager's office, but she continues to pick on the girl, which gets her promptly fired due to her history of similar incidents.
    • Another cashier gripes to the 12-year-old submitter about having to press a lot of buttons to ring up a cheeseburger. When the submitter points out a button for only cheese, the cashier screams at them and accuses them of lying. This catches the manager's attention, and, due to a large amount of complaints and two similar incidents that same day, the cashier is fired on the spot and the submitter's meal is comped.
  • Cloudcuckoolander:
  • Clueless Boss: They show up often. Let's leave it at that, because listing them all could fill another page.
  • Collector of the Strange: Car airbags with make-up stains on them.
  • Comically Missing the Point:
    • This person gives their street address to a pizza deliverer, mentioning Lincoln, "like the president". The delivery person mentions that Obama's the president.
    • "So you think people act a certain way based on their race? That's racist." "No it's not! That's prejudice!" The absolutely hilarious part is that he's right.
    • This manager asks a worker to water the plants during a slow point of the day. The worker points out it's raining; the manager replies, "take an umbrella."
    • This truck stop has several advertising billboards out along the freeway leading to it... but then refuses to serve anyone who is not a local.
    • This interviewer continues interviewing people for two days after the job they're applying for has already been filled, thinking just getting an interview (rather than actually working) is good job experience.
    • This hotel hires a security guard to deal with unruly guests coming from a nearby stadium. Unfortunately, the guard they hire thinks it's his job to make other people do his job for him. He's unsurprisingly gone within a week.
    • This customer asks a food counter employee if they serve alligator meat at an alligator reservation.
    • An employee is being fired for multiple causes, including threatening to kill everyone. "So, when can I apply again?"
    • This babysitter manages to combine this with Exact Words; on being told by the parents of a child she sits that they don't want their child being sat in the same house as another with chickenpox, she takes that at face value and assumes they can still be transported next to each other in the same car.
  • Confronting Your Imposter: Less frequent than in Right, but still around.
    • "Time to Try Another Tactic" has a caller claim to be the daughter of the owner, while the female worker that answered is the owner's only child.
    • New hires telling off the owner's actual children because they think they're catching someone attempting this is rather common, however — see here and here for examples of this form of Conviction by Counterfactual Clue.
  • Consummate Liar:
    • There is something legitimately wrong with this girl. One can only hope she eventually gets professional help. One also wonders how many people are jobless and/or on social assistance simply because they can't stop lying their pants off.
    • One worker lies so much to ditch work that she was fired on the phone.
  • Contrived Coincidence: After aimlessly wandering around a store, the submitter (a Scary Black Man) just happens to pass by another customer enough times that she becomes convinced he is stalking her, and reports him to a manager.
  • Conversational Troping: Three employees and their manager are tailing a suspected shoplifter. One mentions how sneaky this is, just like in Mission: Impossible, another starts humming the iconic theme to that movie, the third wants someone to do an Unnecessary Combat Roll, just like in movies of that genre, and the manager bets someone $20 to do it, right now, just for the heck of it.
  • Conviction by Counterfactual Clue: This shopper gets stopped at the door by a pair of greeters who ask for her receipt. She doesn't have it, but asks to go fetch her husband, who works at the auto department, but who isn't off the clock yet. Ha, say the greeters, the auto department closed an hour ago! You're lying, and we'll have to confiscate the item (an air conditioner). While it's true that the auto department has closed, the husband is still on the clock (he assists in other departments until his shift ends). But at this point, the greeters won't listen — they won't let the shopper or her kid leave with the AC (understandably), and for a long while they won't let the shopper or her kid go back into the store to fetch the husband (somewhat less understandably). The misunderstanding continues — and even escalates — until the point the (angry) husband finally walks up with the receipt.
  • Cool and Unusual Punishment:
    • The "penny tip" for bad restaurant service. Since leaving no tip could be seen as poor manners or forgetfulness on the customer's part, leaving a single penny (or nickel, or dime) instead communicates that the customer WOULD have tipped, but the waiter didn't deserve it.
    • "Please remove these (legal textbooks) or we'll make you read them."
    • This woman is so fed up with her printer company (the printers frequently break down) and is forced to go through five printers in the span of two years. When it's revealed that the warranty is expired and she can't get another free replacement, the woman proceeds to chuck the shoddy printer down the stairs and then hack it to pieces with an axe!
  • Corrupt Corporate Executive:
    • This cell-phone company. "You want to cancel your cell phone? Okay, that'll be $350. You say you're not paying because your father died, and it was his cell phone? Yeah, right, not falling for it. $350, please. You say you have the official death certificate in your hand and can fax it right over here? You can buy a fake one for real cheap. Nice try, scammer, you'll still have to pay. You're going to go directly to the higher-ups in Corporate and beg for them to waive the fee? That's fine, because they'll just ignore you until you've paid just as much as part of your monthly bill anyway!"
    • Oh dearie me, this is a veritable cascade of the events. The combination electric and water supplier has a monopoly on the whole town, with the mayor and other town council members sitting on the board of directors, with the narrator explicitly stating that "they get to do pretty much anything they want without repercussions." This includes the (13-year-old, at time of the event) narrator's mother being harassed about paying a bill that she already paid, with the company calling about an address on the other side of town; the same mother having issues with a meter reader calling the cost at a far higher amount than used, despite her having been out for over two weeks with not a utility running; a triple-cost bill being sent to the narrator's house, when it was intended for the bartender down the street; and the kid!narrator being left out in the rain due to the company sending in a pair of electricians to fiddle with the (malfunctioning) electric box, hence leaving the kid unable to use the garage keypad to get in! And running over some Texas Sage while they were at it. To top it all off, that was ALSO supposed to be the bartender's call! Oh yeah, it's been six years and it's still just as bad.
    • In this story, a worker is forced to leave early while they still have a ton of paperwork to do. The worker is promptly fired the next day for not doing that paperwork — and is then forced to sign a paper stating that they are leaving of their own accord, which means the worker is not entitled for unemployment benefits. Fortunately, unlike the previous examples, karma bit them fast and hard, as it was not very long before the worker found a new job and the corrupt company went out of business.
  • Crying Wolf: The reason these employees are (at first) flippant about a serious "ceiling fan is hanging by the wires" problem — because usually it's just a housing that's come off, with the support for the fan itself still in place. This time, though, it really is hanging by the wires... and the person who comes to fix it is practically floored when he sees it, even asking to take a picture to prove it to the people at the office.

    D 
  • Did I Just Say That Out Loud?:
  • Didn't Think This Through:
    • A cop stops a driver because they seemed to be going too fast... but doesn't have the radar readings to back it up. He realizes his mistake quickly enough to leave the vicinity before the driver can ask for his badge number.
    • It's generally ill-advised to post everything you do on Facebook, but announcing that you went out to the clubs after calling in sick at work is a dumb idea. Especially when you have coworkers and a manager on your friends list.
    • This new hire wonders why a coworker seemed disgusted when he tried to compliment them by telling them "you stink".
    • This manager decides the best reaction to a customer sending a complaint about their rudeness is to be even ruder to that customer - it apparently never occurred to him that said customer would complain again.
    • These two bosses come up with an idiotic plan to make their workers spend more time on work by setting up how long they can be in the bathroom doing their number one and two business based on the time they spend in the men's bathroom while forgetting about women doing number 3. The plan was scrapped due to many female workers' protests, and also because it was illegal under Union rules. (Turns out they'd been trying to crack down on cell phone breaks disguised as bathroom breaks, which would have been a more valid concern if they'd just said so.)
    • Overlapping with Bad Boss, this boss repeatedly attempts to get the submitter fired without severance pay, culminating in her attempting to fire the submitter for physically threatening a manager. The only problem is that the boss states it happened five minutes before, and when called to the boss's office, the manager in question not only reveals that the submitter never did such a thing, but that she (the manager) has no idea what's going on. The submitter immediately threatens the boss with a wrongful dismissal suit, and the boss simply gives up and stops bothering them.
    • This daycare worker tries to impose her Straw Feminist beliefs on a little girl by telling her that Santa doesn't exist (apparently Santa was only a problem because he was a man). Turns out, Santa's visit was the only thing the girl was looking forward to that Christmas, after her father had died the previous Christmas. The girl's enraged mother proceeds to tear into the worker for ruining the second Christmas in a row for her daughter.
      Mother: Thank you for ruining Christmas. The first two Christmases my daughter is going to remember: seeing her father collapse on a dollhouse they were building together, and learning that Santa doesn't exist from a virtual stranger. Thank you, you self-righteous b***!
      • Adding onto that, the daycare worker didn't think about how other parents, besides the mother, would not react well to her telling kids that Santa doesn't exist. Several parents witnessed that confrontation, and they were so outraged by one of the workers callously crushing a kid's spirit in favor of her own personal beliefs that they withdrew their own children's enrollment at the daycare, crippling the business in the process. Unsurprisingly, the worker got fired for causing the whole mess in the first place.
    • This preachy Vegan bakery manager tricked the hotel's guests into eating her vegan cheesecake without the prior knowledge of anyone else - including the others on the bakery staff - thinking they would all love it and go Vegan after eating it. However, she failed to consider if those guests might not like the taste, were allergic to the vegan ingredients or might have other dietary restrictions. She got chewed out by her boss for her stunt and was later ordered to quit since she kept putting her own agendas ahead of those of the hotel.
    • "Either the IT guy is out, or I'm out!" "I accept your resignation. You have fifteen minutes to clean out your desk."
    • "Two of our staff are talking to one another on the phone, from ten feet away, about a problem our office can’t resolve." A phone call bouncing system to prevent calls to an understaffed site from going unanswered backfires when a remote worker can't call them to report a problem, and the old site where all calls are redirected to attempts to call them to pass the message forward and ends up getting redirected themselves.
    • A photo lab manager sees the submitter (who she absolutely hates) sell cigarettes to a regular customer without checking his ID because the submitter has sold cigarettes to him enough times to know that he is in his 40s. Once the transaction is over and the customer leaves the store, the photo lab manager immediately claims to be friends with that man's mother so she "knows" he's actually a 14-year-old boy with a "growth disease" that just makes him look like he's 40, and then she gleefully goes report it to a manager in the hopes of getting the submitter fired and arrested for selling cigarettes to a minor. Her lie immediately backfires on her when the manager rebukes her for standing by and letting the sale happen despite "knowing" that the customer was underaged, meaning that she made herself an Accomplice by Inaction in the crime she was accusing the submitter of. Then several other cashiers who witnessed the whole thing willingly testified to the manager that the man who bought the cigarettes was indeed a regular cigarette customer old enough to purchase them; this gets the photo lab manager into even more trouble for trying to frame the submitter for a crime.
  • Dismotivation: A possible explanation for some stories in the "Lazy/Unhelpful" category. The employees need a paycheck, but hate working with people, so they just be rude and unhelpful so the customer will give up and go away. This obviously doesn't work, as it often gets that particular employee fired.
    • This university library worker tells a patron that they don't check out books (the entire point of a library) to make them go away so that he doesn't have to serve them. Worse yet, when the submitter (his superior) asks him what he'd do if a department head came with a list of books, he says he'd do the same thing. Unsurprisingly, thanks to complaints from other teachers he refused to help, the head librarian fires him the next day.
    • Which brings new perspective to all those Not Always Right stories involving seemingly Jerkass customers being incredibly quick to (wrongfully) accuse employees of doing this very thing whenever something doesn't go their way. They've probably run into so many people doing it for real that they've taught themselves to always assume the worst.
    • Another explanation along these lines works for this story - the employee needs a paycheck, but hates working at all, so it's just perfect for him that he's "in tight" with a manager and therefore can use that as an excuse to force other employees to do his work for him. The instant he finds someone on whom this doesn't work (namely, the owner's son), he immediately quits.
    • A justified example here. The pizza parlor is reluctant to deliver to a customer at a certain address... because the previous resident at that address had been consistently abusive to them, and they didn't know someone else was living there now. They were rude to the new customer because they mistook them for the abusive customer. Fortunately, once the delivery boy sees that the abusive customer no longer lives there, the manager apologizes to the new person.
    • Another justified example here. The employees are in no hurry to send out an electrician to deal with a ceiling fan that's come loose and is hanging by just its wires. However, once the electrician arrives, he explains that they receive calls from people who inaccurately use the "hanging from the wires" explanation on a regular basis. He's surprised that, in this case, it was actually true, and asks for permission to take a picture before he starts fixing the fan so he can show it to his coworkers.
  • Disproportionate Retribution:
    • This bank manager who called the police when one individual accidentally took one dollar more than they were supposed to after closing the account. The two police officers who responded weren't happy when they realized what had happened.
    • Another manager reacts to a five-year-old boy who wet his pants by screaming full blast at the boy and his mother and then threatening to call the cops on them. Between this and the manager referring to them as "white trash" afterwards, his entire staff pulls a collective Take This Job and Shove It, starting with a supervisor who had a son with similar bladder problems. The manager was later reprimanded by his boss (who also had a similarly aged son) when he had to explain the situation.
    • When a new employee gets told by his supervisor (the submitter) that he's doing stock checking incorrectly, rather than accept his mistake and learn from it, he instead complains to his father, the manager, who fires the supervisor for "sexually harassing" his son, then threatens to call the police on him. Thankfully, Laser-Guided Karma comes into quick effect - because the firing was for sexual harassment, HR now has to investigate the claims. They discover from CCTV footage that the manager and his son made up the entire thing, and both are fired by week's end for lying to HR about it. The submitter became a HR-sort of person themselves and when asked to investigate a complaint at a restaurant, the submitter encounters the ex-manager's son, who promptly books it out of there.
    • This manager fires an employee just because she was having a bad day and wanted to take it out on them. The union and the business owner are not amused.
    • What is this manager's response to an employee's (rightful) concerns about their safety in relation to being asked to push carts in a severe thunderstorm? Scream at the employee at the top of her lungs and fire them on the spot. In front of customers. Luckily, the store's owner quickly learns of the incident and fires the manager the very next day for endangering the submitter, who in turn gets their job back.
    • Similarly, this aggressive general manager's response to a 75-year-old lady tipping the submitter out of sympathy for having to put up with his abuse is to grab it right out of the submitter's hand and then scream "YOU'RE FIRED!" at the top of his lungs in her face. The elderly lady responds by delivering a "The Reason You Suck" Speech right to the manager's face before leaving. The district manager also learns what happened, and reinstates the submitter, beforing coming in the next day to personally and thoroughly chew out the manager and fire him instead for screaming in front of customers and stealing the submitter's tip.
    • The submitter in this story goes on a long holiday. He notifies everyone who needs to know well in advance and properly delegates his work and contacts before taking his vacation. A week in, the hotel he is visiting receives multiple calls for the submitter to turn on his phone which has multiple missed calls, texts, and voicemails from his boss. The submitter immediately calls back, believing it to be an emergency, to realize that the issue is that the printer isn't working, and after walking through the problem, it is found out that it's not working because the printer is out of paper. A week after that, the boss calls him into a meeting, where the boss fires the submitter for "crippling the company." A tribunal for unfair dismissal has the submitter come with a record of multiple voicemails to every hotel in the towns the submitter was staying at, as well as 60 texts, 40 calls, and 30 voicemails, one of which has the boss screaming a gay slur and screaming that the submitter was "dead." The submitter wins the tribunal and receives two years worth of wages (which were rather high as he was very experienced and at the top of the pay scale).
  • The Ditz: Many.
    • This bank representative is obviously not very sharp. First, he suggests the debtor make a weekly payment three times that of said debtor's weekly income. Then, after the debtor makes a sarcastic comment about having to start a meth lab to make that kind of income, the representative not only takes the comment seriously, he offers a line of credit for the venture, seeming not to realize it's illegal. Finally, after the debtor calls out the bank representative for that mistake, the representative tries to make the excuse that he'd had his mind on a sporting event, but commits Gretzky Has the Ball in the process.
    • "Sfoon!"
    • This coworker seems to be totally oblivious to the concept of lesbianism.
    • This grocery store owner recommends that a customer look for pretzels in the produce aisle, then asks, "What are pretzels, anyway?"
    • This employee at a dollar store. To make a long story short, she cannot do simple tasks like facing merchandise, scanning products, or even simply putting merchandise back on the shelves without either having someone walk her through it, abruptly abandoning the task, or making an enormous mess. She fails to improve in any capacity and the fed-up submitter shows her the door after less than a week.
  • Do Well, but Not Perfect: This one hard-working aide gets a lower "Productivity" score on her annual report than a much lazier coworker because the hard-working coworker gives 110% most of the time, with some days "only" giving 90%. According to her managers, this is apparently worse (and thus warrants a lower score) than a lazy coworker giving 50% most of the time, with some days giving 60 or 70%.
  • Do Wrong, Right: If you're going to have your employees resort to subterfuge, at least make sure they understand what the word means.
  • The Dog Bites Back: Presumably the reason behind some of the employees' behavior, not that this makes it justified.
  • Don't Call Me "Sir": This guy reacts really badly to being called "sir" or "boss".
    "“GODD***IT, NOT AGAIN! I told you that I don’t do well with those titles! Call me ‘a**hole’, call me ‘f***er’, but whatever you do, don’t call me ‘sir’ or ‘boss’!”
  • Door Stopper: The Epic of the Impossible Store, by Not Always Working standards, at least. At a whopping 2,743 words, it's currently the longest story published on the site.
  • Dope Slap: Mentioned by name here when a manager delivers one to a pot-smoking employee.
  • Double Standard: This female coworker thinks it's all right for her to take pictures of men's crotches without their consent, but not okay when it's the other way around. She is later fired when the submitter and a male customer complain to the manager when she took a picture of the customer's crotch.
    • The manager at this hotel isn't very empathetic to a man being abused by his wife in front of their four year old child. They even go so far as the reprimand the submitter for calling the police since the abusive wife is a good customer and left a good review of the hotel. Thankfully averted with the submitter, who called the police and had the wife arrested, and quit only a few weeks later. The final sentence of the story they submitted sums it up well.
      "I don’t care how good of a customer someone is; that does not excuse abuse!"
  • Dramatically Missing the Point: When a customer complains about an employee failing to wash their hands after they'd visited the restroom (causing said customer to leave the store in disgust as a result), the corporate response is to... mail the customer a gift card, with no word about what steps they were going to take to improve the sanitation practices of the employees.
  • Dreadful Musician: Whoever recorded the hilariously awful rendition of "Lavender's Blue" in this story. To such an extent that several people tried to bring its utter awfulness to the company's attention.
  • Drugs Are Bad: Some bossesnote  think all drugs are bad - even ones legally prescribed by a doctor and needed by the employees to survive.
  • Dumb Blonde:
    • "I’m too blonde for my own good."
    • An inversion here. The cashier treats the blonde submitter like one initially, and then learns that she's a manager at a retail chain with a college degree.

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