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  • Jar Potty: This boy really needed to go to the bathroom while out shopping and his mother let him pee inside a plastic cup. While this normally would't be an issue, the problem was that she left the cup behind a mirror in one of the fitting rooms. Gross...
  • Jedi Mind Trick: This isn't the resort you're looking for.
  • Jerkass:
    • Often. Here's one that isn't even being selfish, just spiteful.
    • Here's another one. Hard not to feel bad for the guy's daughter.
    • Minor example here. A customer is asked to please not steal from the tip jar. His reply? "Too late. It's happening."
    • And another — an employee asks a customer to help make change for a hundred dollar bill; the customer agrees, then rips the bill in half.
    • This customer, too. More than twenty items in the 20-or-less items lane? Yep. Mouthing off people who try to make their kids behave? Yep. Encouraging the kid when he throws a heavy object at the cashier's face, causing them injury, and further saying they don't deserve to be treated with respect? Oh yeah. The worst part is, they got away before anyone could arrest their asses. One can only hope karma will bite hard later.
    • This mother's response to her son almost ramming a heavy cart into a worker? "Don’t worry sweetie. You’ll get him next time!" You heard that right — she's out to deliberately injure decent people.
    • This mother drags her sick kid to a coffee shop and keeps him there despite the kid's and other customers' protests, to the point where the kid throws up in the middle of the store. She gets a free coffee, and before leaving has the gall to say "See you tomorrow!" She's willing to repeatedly demean and traumatize her kid for a fucking drink. You can't get much more rotten than that.
    • This man throws some roaches at a pool employee to freak them out. Worse yet, he implies that he's going to try to scare them even more, which drives them to quit their job.
    • This asshole asks where the canned food is, but despite getting a response, refuses to do anything until the worker actually walks over to the aisle and looks themselves. After they go through that, the jackass doesn't even thank them and says “Fuck you, retard!” instead. He seems to believe two things — that workers are all incompetent even if they've worked there for a while, and they don't deserve to be treated with respect.
    • This husband and wife literally walk around the local grocery store just to insult the people they encounter.
    • These two guys here qualify because they're trying to frame innocent people, but the wheelchair-bound person especially so. Deliberately taking advantage of other people's courtesy is quite low.
    • How does this asshole thank a fast food worker for keeping her health in mind? Throw her meal at the worker, causing major harm to their face. She just then walks out without any regard to the worker's well-being. Presumably, everyone else there was so stunned by her monstrous behavior that they didn't stop her either.
    • Go read those labels for me! What, I can read them myself? No way! Clearly, you're lazy and don't have enough to do between your regular duties so I'm going to be an asshole about it!
    • This customer takes a phone from a worker's hands and tries to "fix" it, despite having no idea what he's doing. In the end, he smashes the phone on the ground and just walks out, saying that the thing is broken beyond repair.
    • This customer decides that a man using an electric scooter isn't crippled, even though he is crippled, and throws him off the scooter. When the manager comes and throws her out, she claims that this was unjust, vandalizes the store, and later files a complaint! Luckily, neither the manager nor the man ever saw her in the store again.
    • This criminal, upon realizing that he returned a rental truck too late and would be charged extra, tried to take the keys back. He attacked the worker and swiped the keys right out of their hand, cutting it. The police were called, but the worst part was that they wouldn't press charges because the criminal wasn't trying to hurt the worker — he was just trying to get the keys. Yes, he didn't mean to smash his shoulder into a worker and slice their hand open, he just wanted the keys. The keys he was supposed to return. To sum it up, he assaulted another person, tried to steal a company's property, and thanks to some corrupt cops, got away with it. One can only hope karma bites him hard later.
    • This old curmudgeon is blatant about taking advantage of a coffee pot from a cafe. He manages to down an entire urn (enough for thirty cups) and afterwards has the gall to complain that it's empty and demand it be refilled for him!
    • This man is so blatantly racist, he refused to even speak to anyone not white. Too bad the employee he did decide to flag down was half Native American, who quickly ejected the man off the premises.
    • This guy starts with Insane Troll Logic and escalates every time he's caught in a lie. When he calls the police and the operator refuses to talk to take his call because he's not part of the library staff, he makes up a bomb threat.
    • This asshole, after having her lie exposed, harms a ten-year-old girl in a fast-food restaurant, traumatizing the girl so much that she never returns to the restaurant. You can't stoop much lower than this.
    • This group of mothers who freeload at a restaurant and care not one bit that their daughters are making a mess of the place.
    • In this story, the submitter is given too much change, and upon returning it is thanked by the cashier, who tells him that she could have lost her job over it. The customer behind the submitter, despite clearly hearing all of this, immediately asks the submitter to give the extra money to him instead, since he "actually works for his money" or some other self-centered reasoning like that.
    • This customer kicks an employee who doesn't respond to her immediately (the employee has both hearing loss and vision problems on their right side, and the customer was whispering their request), and then tries to claim that the employee kicked her instead. It all falls apart when the submitter speaks up for the coworker; the asshole customer is thrown out, corporate hangs up on her when she calls to complain, and then when she for some reason calls the cops on the store, they review the security footage and nearly arrest her.
    • This asshole acts extremely discourteous to a nine-months pregnant woman, butting past her to get into a bathroom she was just about to use, reasoning that some other bathrooms were not too far for her to walk to.
    • The beginning of this one could practically count as a heartwarming moment, when the customer at a drive-thru chooses to leave a blank check to cover the bill of whomever came next. Unfortunately, the beneficiary turns it into a Moment of Jerkass when, upon learning this, he orders a ton of food and gift cards, to the tune of well over $100.
    • This doctor, who continuously reminds everyone that she's a doctor and is above everyone else, forces her way into a scholarship fund dinner despite being late for reservations, has the gall to demand a discount, is rude and egotistical in person, and doesn't even bother donating to the scholarship fund for which the dinner was raising money.
    • This customer brings 20 items into a 12-item-limit express lane, and when admonished and told to use the regular checkout next time, bluntly refuses, saying "express is faster".
    • This guy cuts his way past a deli line and fully states his intentions to steal a sandwich meant for someone else.
    • This gentleman sees the submitter sweeping outside the restaurant and proceeds to dump his entire ashtray on the ground.
    • This honeymoon couple got one upgrade to first class and want to sit next to each other, so they assume the submitter will gladly give up their first class seat to sit in an economy class seat. When the submitter refuses, they demand he be kind to them, since they are on their honeymoon. The flight attendant tells them to either both go back to their economy class seats or leave the plane because they harassed another passenger. They choose to go back to their economy seats and the flight attendant mentions that their account has been flagged to not give them free upgrades anymore because of their behavior.
    • This rotten man claims that a server lied to him about a coupon and as such wants his donation refunded. This request shocked everybody because the donation was for childhood cancer! The manager is even a breast cancer survivor herself. You really are on a different level if you're asking to refund a donation to childhood cancer.
    • This woman is mad that her daughter was "injured" by broken glass under a table (that the child shouldn't have been under in the first place). The injuries are very minor (a few cuts) and the mother goes completely ballistic and proceeds to grab several packs of jam and begin smearing them into the table and the chairs just to prove a point.
    • A woman walks into a children's clothing shop just to shout down and belittle an already frazzled employee while pretending she's a customer. Fortunately, an older woman whom the employee had just helped puts the other woman in her place and calls her out on trying to ruin the employee's day for no reason.
    • This group of women raise a complete fuss over two bottles of cheap French wine.
    • This woman gets mad that she can't use the bathroom so she proceeds to shit her pants just to make a point. She could be saying that just as a threat, but who's to say she didn't?
    • This guest at a major Orlando theme park believes the park's parent company owns the entire state, and demands they fire a worker at some restaurant outside the park, claiming she is owed a superior level of service because she spent a lot of money at the park. As the customer service rep tries to explain to her, that doesn't change the fact that they don't own the restaurant and have no authority to fire its employees, but she just gets increasingly belligerent and verbally abusive, accusing the rep of being the restaurant worker's "trash girlfriend". After the rep has had enough and hangs up, she calls them back at least twice, demanding that both the restaurant worker and rep be fired.
  • Jerkass Realization: There are a few instances where the customer realizes that they've been a complete jerk to others and make up for it.
    • This customer humiliates a server in front of a crowd of people because she's never seen a $2 bill before. He returns later to apologize.
    • This caller, after berating a medical office worker for following procedure, calls back to apologize for her behavior and say that she understood why the procedure was like that.
    • This hotel guest felt so bad about flipping out at an employee that the guest told the employee's boss about the situation, resulting in a raise and a complimentary penthouse stay for the employee.
    • This woman, who was convinced that a coworker who saved her kid's life was attempting to kidnap him. The next day, she comes back and apologizes, thanks him, and gives a glowing review to his boss.
    • This customer chews out a woman who parked in a handicapped space, assuming that the woman was perfectly fine and just taking advantage of the privilege. Once the woman rattles off a list of disorders that she has, the customer later apologizes for her behavior and even offers further help.
    • This man, after realizing that he was mistaken about a fast-food promotion and acted quite out of line towards an employee and manager for it, comes back and offers to buy a meal for them.
    • This kid acts hostilely towards a store employees, and decides to steal something in revenge. After the employee calls him, he realizes the error of his ways and returns the item, and becomes a more polite regular of the store.
    • This twentysomething man cuts off another person in a parking lot, parking in a handicapped space, despite his car having no such privilege. Once he sees that the person he cut off is a 96-year-old-woman, he helps her into the store.
    • A customer who flips out at an employee returns a few days later to apologize for her behavior.
    • This customer insults their driver over being a male with long hair, but after the driver explains he donates his hair every year to Locks of Love, the customer apologizes (since he had lost his son to cancer).
    • An elderly man bawls out a cashier over not honoring a sale that only takes place on Monday and Tuesday on a Wednesday (thinking it was still good on Wednesdays) and hauls them out to show them that he's right. When it turns out he's not, the embarrassed man admits to reading the sign incorrectly and is calm and friendly for the rest of the transaction.
    • A man acting like an Entitled Bastard in a restaurant drive-thru over a new trainee multitasking leaves feeling ashamed of himself (and later came in to apologize for his behavior per the word of the submitter in the comments) after the employee serving him indirectly calls him out on his behavior.
    • This person thinks a deaf employee is being lazy and physically attacks her. The customer even goes so far as to try and yank out her hearing aid. Fortunately the customer realized what they did.
  • "Join the Army", They Said: Minor inversion: “Don’t play baseball, they tell me; it’s a waste of time. Just get a job, they say! That’ll teach you what’s important.”
  • Joke and Receive:
    • This customer forgets what he's looking for. An employee jokingly asks if he's looking for memory aids, which turns out to be correct.
    • A customer pays for a $70 purchase with 70 single-dollar bills; the cashier jokingly asks if the customer is a stripper, and is surprised by the "yes" answer.
  • Just for Pun:
  • "Just Joking" Justification: Absolutely skewered here via Ironic Echo. Sadly, the customer (and said customer's friends) didn't seem to get it.
  • Just Plane Wrong: This customer reacts with dread when he learns his flight from London to Berlin will be in a propeller plane rather than a jet, because "if the engine stops working, the ‘plane will fall from the sky!", as if propeller engines are powered by magic and immediately rob whatever they're powering of all forward momentum the very instant they go out.note 

    K-L 
  • Karmic Jackpot:
    • This guy, who is having a bad day and has lost his job, chases out someone who was being verbally abusive to an employee. Karma kicks in for him almost immediately when the person behind him pays for both their drinks and tells him they have a job opening for a computer technician, which he gladly takes.
    • This university shop worker covers for a customer's remaining payment. It turns out the customer had some connections in high places, and the worker is treated to an in-person viewing of Leonardo DiCaprio.
    • This employee fixes a customer's laptop very quickly and charges nothing for it. The customer returns later with a case of beer as thanks.
    • At an airport on a stormy day, a customer tries to help move things along by directing all the fliers checking in to the self-check kiosks, so the agents can work on re-booking people whose flights got canceled. When their own flight gets delayed by the foul weather, one of the agents gives them a free lounge pass as thanks for their help.
  • Kick the Son of a Bitch: This DJ gets tired of dealing with a patron who absolutely refuses to wait for the requested song to come up in a queue, storms out, only to storm back in, forcing past security, moments later and starts attacking other patrons with a knife. As the offending patron gets arrested, the DJ plays the requested song "as a parting gift."
  • Killer Rabbit: "When was your last tetanus shot?" "Let me see... honey, when was I bit by that duck?"
  • Knife Nut: Two of them in this story — one with extra knives, and one who's extra nuts.
  • Know-Nothing Know-It-All: A lot of customers show up thinking they know best. None of them can be reasoned with. All of them are wrong.
  • The Klutz: This customer, who drops the phone and remote repeatedly until the call drops.
  • Lady Looks Like a Dude: Invoked by name here, by a rather disheveled woman.
  • Lame Comeback: One that's not even in response to an insult, made by someone who seems to consider everything at the store "stupid".
    Cashier: “Have a nice day!”
    Customer: “Well... you... DON’T have a nice day!”
  • Land of Faerie: They have natural lilac hair with blue tips, big grey eyes, and slight Irish accents. They come from Canada.
  • Language Equals Thought: "No, I want a JACKET..." The seller is from Washington and considers a "jacket" a specific style of outerwear regardless of fabric. The customer is from Arizona, and any item of outerwear is a "jacket". She wants a winter coat.
  • Large Ham: Some of the aforementioned Cloud Cuckoolanders.
  • Laser-Guided Karma:
    • This guy is rude and misogynistic to a nursing home employee. When his wife finds out, she hits him and calls him a jackass.
    • This boy is caught stealing candy and is forced to return it. However, his mother verbally attacks the store employee for being rude to him (even saying she doesn't care about the candy). She's about to physically attack the employee when her mother stops her and chews her out for her behavior.
    • This driver lashes out at a driver for being too slow while passing them and crashes into another car. Ironically, he also tells the driver to "learn how to drive" - when that driver was doing just that.
    • Another driver. She complains that she can't find an item at a store (which wouldn't be logically expected to carry it) and calls up to complain to the manager (who's actually the employee who told her they didn't carry said item). She then speeds out of the parking lot and cuts off a police officer who pulls her over.
    • A really expensive tantrum.
      "Karma's a b**ch, ain't it?"
    • Never underestimate karma.
    • They tried to push their way through a line, and got escorted out for it.
    • This gym member savagely insulted another person, and got his membership revoked when some other people told the manager — by the manager tearing the membership right in front of him.
    • In this one, a woman decides to berate another person in a supermarket line because she "had an important meeting" and whatever the other person was doing was obviously not as essential as what woman was rushing for. The kicker was that the meeting was an interview for a babysitting job, and the person doing the interview was the one she had so rudely insulted. Needless to say, she didn't get the job.
    • This scammer's scheme finally comes back to bite him in the ass.
    • A man acted belligerently towards a bank for a long time to bully some interest refunds out of them. On this particular call, he threatens to close his account, and the bank follows through with the request. As a result, all of the man's outstanding debts were automatically paid with the money from his accounts, leaving him with very little that will be sent to him, a far cry from the thousands he normally made off with.
    • An employee witnesses two girls, referred in the story as Girl #1 and Girl #2, checking out some pajamas. Girl #2 is the typical customer seen that doesn't put things back the way she found them because she's not paid to do that stuff, and Girl #1 tries her best to keep things neat. The karmic part comes when the employee later sees Girl #2 try to blame Girl #1 for something she didn't do. The employee steps in and explains what actually happened, getting Girl #1 out of trouble and Girl #2 into it.
    • Here, a customer acts extremely rude to an employee, and does not care one bit about the employee's complications, only that he has an interview to get to and that teenagers are lazy. Unfortunately for him, the employee happens to be the child of the owner of the company where the customer is interviewing. In the end, he wasn't hired.
    • There are several stories (like this one, this one, and this one) where some soldiers are using their service to justify terrible behavior, only to be overheard and chewed out by someone who outranks them.
    • After being told, time and time again, that her favorite coffee shop did not have room around the building for a drive-thru like its counterparts in neighboring towns, a lady tried to drive her car around the building to prove that they did have room for a drive-thru... operative word being "tried". Not only did the coffee shop sue her for damage to the building where she crashed, the neighboring residential area sued her for damage to their buildings from flying debris!
    • A old woman is constantly harassing the submitter, whom she believes is a teenager doing something illegal, despite the submitter repeatedly pointing out (which the old woman refuses to believe) that she's actually an adult who looks young. The old woman is banned from the store the submitter is working at and four years later, is also banned at the bar where the submitter and her friends were drinking.
    • This customer mocked another person who was paying with cash because the cashier was required by company policy to use one of those counterfeit-detection pens on the bills. Then she paid for her order with a counterfeit bill. (And her reaction to the cashier reaching for a detection pen looks suspiciously like she knew it was counterfeit.)
    • A man who refuses to pay for a locksmith job claims that he'll have the charges reversed. The locksmith then proceeds to throw the man's keys back in the car and relocks the door. His justification is pretty sound (but he did get written up): "If you're reversing the charges, then I'm reversing the job."
    • A smug girl had a temper tantrum when a popular Tattoo artist refuses to book her for an appointment as he's already fully booked due to his very busy schedule and didn't like her tattoo design. She then tried to discredit him by giving negative and rude reviews on his shop's Facebook page and Yelp, only to called out for her lies by the artist's past customers and was blacklisted by other tattoo shops around the city.
    • This idiot wants directions to the submitter's office, but for some reason refuses to tell her where he is, presumably expecting magical directions that will get him there from any starting point. When her manager intervenes, the guy throws in casual sexism for good measure: "Thank God — a man who will be able to give directions." The manager, annoyed with the guy's attitude, proceeds to give him directions at random — which end up taking him to a garbage dump.
    • An egotistical bully who routinely terrorizes employees and customers alike at a supermarket ends up getting his just desserts when he provokes someone stronger than him and ends up beaten up so badly he doesn't show up at the store for a couple of weeks. When he does show up (with a black-and-blue face covered in casts and bandages), no one feels very sorry for him.
    • When a woman is intolerably cruel to a girl with Down syndrome, who has done nothing more offensive than exist in a coffee shop, this local CEO witnesses it - and cites it as the reason why he will be shredding the application she recently put in with his company. The humiliated woman flees without her coffee.
    • This Polish cashier was given an envelope from a group of customers, who paid 16 złoty (about $4). Thinking it was a scam, they ripped up the envelope only to find a torn up 100 złoty banknote, which is about $26.
    • While shopping for a wedding dress, an irresponsible mother lets her young son run around the store and get several bridesmaid dresses dirty with cheesy handprints. She ends up having to buy them all.
  • Lazy Artist: There are some exceptions, but most comics on the sites suffer from blatantly copied-and-pasted expressions and postures.
  • Lethally Stupid:
    • This mother lets her young son play around unsupervised with dangerous chemicals at a university lab, on the grounds that her husband is a chemist so he's used to doing such things. Of course, when the sink explodes, her first reaction is to yell, "Your wretched lab could have killed my son!"
    • This person demands a refund after the pet fish they bought only a week earlier died, even going so far as to accuse the pet store of poisoning it. It turns out that the reason the fish died was that the owner took it out of its tank... because they thought it was drowning.
  • Let Me Get This Straight...: Somewhat common on here. A customer has a crazy, if not impossible, request. The store associate repeats it back to to the customer, just to make sure that he/she hears correctly, and often rephrasing it to highlight the implausibility of it. The (often Jerkass) customer will probably respond in one of several ways: "Well? Get going! I'm not waiting here all day!", "Argh, you're just being lazy/intentionally unhelpful!" or, best of all, "Exactly! God, is that so hard to understand?"
  • Let Us Never Speak of This Again: After a customer realizes they're holding the Idiot Ball, they may apologize and then say this. One example featuring a customer who lost track of what day it was.
  • Life Imitates Art:invoked A physically deformed, sweet-natured person who does fine wood carvings.
  • Like Is, Like, a Comma: Um, like, literally!
  • Literal Metaphor: "Would you like to see my bird?"
  • Literal-Minded: That's not what the computer manual meant when it told you to plug in your mouse. For the sake of poor "Mickey," let's hope this was just a crank call.
  • Little Girls Kick Shins: In this story, a little girl kicks the shin of a horrible customer while saying "You! Are! Not! A! Nice! Man!"
  • Logical Fallacies: A fair chunk of the entries on the site are of customers who, when confronted with the fact that they might be wrong about something, choose to stubbornly hold on to their mistaken belief in the face of all evidence and logic otherwise. This leads them to some breathtakingly inaccurate conclusions.
  • Locked Door: Inverted here The guest didn't know that their door was unlocked because the locks use regular physical keys rather than cards.
  • "London, England" Syndrome:
    • "I would like a ticket to Paris, USA."(Perhaps an inversion of this trope, as the customer assumed this just happens because Americans are stupid, and ends up looking like a fool because of it.)
      • This Canadian manages to fall afoul of a similar situation, since it's not immediately clear to the cashier whether the customer is talking about the Canadian province of Ontario, or a city named Ontario.
  • Loophole Abuse:
    • Attempted by this woman. The daycare had a rule that parents must sign out their kids by 4 PM or face additional charges. The woman signed her daughter out on time, but left her there while she ran other errands for another 45 minutes. Luckily, the daycare didn't put up with her crap and charged her anyway.
    • This man, too. The restaurant had a policy that if the customer didn't get a receipt, their meal was free. What does he do? Shove the money into the drive-through attendant's hands and immediately speeds to the next window. The drive-through guy didn't have time to even offer a receipt, but that matters not. The speeder argues this point and sadly gets away with it. Drive-through guy wises up, though, and offers a receipt before taking the money next time the speeder rolls around.
    • This man wants a bunch of free ice cream samples in a cup. It's not a cup of ice cream, you see, because it's all free samples! The employee didn't put up with his crap, though.
    • This grocery store customer attempts this with coffee beans, which were priced by weight. As a single coffee bean's weight is minuscule (and therefore technically costs nothing), she bags numerous beans individually in an attempt to circumvent the pricing. Unfortunately for her, she didn't anticipate the automatic checkout to catch her tactic — it stops because she didn't combine them. The manager then weighs all the beans and bags she tried to make off with and forces her to pay the massive price for them because, according to them, they couldn't take back food that was handled.
    • The customer does have a point about a retail store's return policy.
    • This woman attempts this with taxes by trying just about every combination of filing possible in order to maximize her return.
    • This customer picks off one ingredient every time he orders a burger, so that he has another burger at the end of the week.
    • This lady walks into a movie theater with half a bottle of wine and attempts to invoke this trope.
  • Lovable Sex Maniac: This guy prank-calls a video store asking for porno. Turns out they have an entire section. He turns into a polite repeat customer.
  • Love Overrides the Law: Subverted. In this story, a guy thinks he shouldn't have to pay for the damage he and his girlfriend did to a hotel room due to this trope.
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