Noodle Implements / Webcomics

Noodle Implements in webcomics.

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• In 8-Bit Theater, Red Mage is able to save the party (actually, the party minus Black Mage) from an aircraft crash with a portable hole, an immovable rod, a bag of holding and an ice spell. How, we'll never know.
  • While he's explaining to Thief and Fighter that his unwillingness to part with his gear in the name of such plans was the one thing holding him back from the flexibility he claimed to rely on, Black Mage is crushed by a giant. He remarks that, ironically, he could get Black Mage out from under the giant with a portable hole, an immovable rod, a Bag of Holding, and an ice spell. Go figure.
  • Truth in Television: An adventurer can do anything with a portable hole, an immovable rod and a bag of holding! No idea where the ice spell comes in.
  • This strip ends with a very weird visual one.
• Gawain from The Adventures of Wiglaf and Mordred says herethat how he became a zombie "involves a golden egg, a spork and a swamp witch... Anything you come up with is better than what actually happened. Oh and there was a puffer fish."
• In this Angel Moxie strip, Tristan tells the new teacher Mr. Kyokasho that she's been "checking up on [him]" to find weak points...:
  Mr. Kyokasho: Did you find any?
  Tristan: Maybe.
  Mr. Kyokasho: (casually) I hope you didn't find out about that incident with the water hoses and the ketchup in St. Louis.
  Tristan: Uh...
• In The Bird Feeder #159, "Disagreement", Darryl refers to an argument he and Edna had about a discarded peanut butter and jelly sandwich he wanted to feed his kids. From off-panel, Edna yells, "IT WAS DISGUSTING!"
• In Bite Me!, Claire declares that in order to start a good-size revolutionary riot, all she needs is three tomatoes, a size nine-and-a-half shoehorn, a bit of string and a small wooden spoon. When questioned, she sighs "They ALWAYS ask about the spoon..."
• Bob and George: "But I'll need some car batteries, a few dozen cinder blocks, a cup of iced tea, and the city's entire supply of yogurt!" Made even more hilarious when, a couple strips later, we see the city's entire supply of yogurt having been gathered but never used.
  • Elsewhere in the comic, having forced Bob to do some programming for him, Dr Wily speculates that Bob has put in some subtle instructions to murder him. Bob tells Wily yes, he absolutely did that, and if he doesn't manage to find them all, he should avoid paper clips and wet noodles.
• In this Celestia's Servant Interview comic, Gig, Master of Death wants the Cutie Mark Crusaders to fetch "a bucket of elbow grease, some striped paint, and a glass hammer". Applejack is less than pleased.
• In Chasing the Sunset, the majority of Leaf's plans seem to be something like this. While in the Void, he decides that, in order to escape, he'd need three sticks, a sheet of paper, and two hundred spans of thread.
• Cheer!:
  • A running gag involves a character coming up with a plan that requires "two geese, a roll of duct tape, twenty-three toothpicks, and some sodium benzoate." It was initially coined by Tamara, though Jo and 32 have also used it.
  • In this comic, a guest artist actually speculates on how exactly those items could be used to "crush spirits and ruin lives, all while delivering a healthy dose of funny". He ultimately concludes that he has no idea but that they can set a "genuine sense of fear amongst those with weak constitutions".
• Dan and Mab's Furry Adventures has genius Jyrras demand his friend to open the door or he'll do it himself with some floss and a spork.
  • Sporks seem to be fairly common utility in DMFA, with Dan using one to defeat a legion of Death Knights.
• In Darths & Droids, Ben asked Pete for help with a science demo for his teaching course:
  Pete: Okay, we'll need dry ice, twenty balloons, a tank of helium, a wooden duck, and a kilo block of sodium. I'll bring the rest.
  Ben: Let me rephrase: I need to make a safe science demo for my teaching course.
  Pete: Okay, skip the balloons.
• In Everyday Adventures of Joovia & Friends our redhead heroine, Joovia just got her new favorite toy. She ran into Jeremy at their spot in the coffee shop.
• In Everyday Heroes, Matt O'Morph gained his superpowers when, "during his college freshman chemistry class, there was a bizarre accident involving an unknown alkaline solution, a dash of monosodium glutamate, a live electrical wire, a pack of Big Red cinnamon gum, and a mosquito."
• Foxes in Love:
  Green: Hey, when we go get groceries, can you remind me to get duct tape, bleach, tin foil, fake fur, eyelash glue, seven lemons, a watering can, shoe polish and a nail gun?
  Blue: What for?
  (beat)
  Green: I already forgot.
• Sam Starfall of Freefall had a great rescue plan to bust Florence out of the dog pound if she goes back there.
  • Word of God has stated that the reason Sam Starfall was exiled from his planet was an incident that involved a dirigible, a loop-de-loop and lots of pudding.
  • Later his plan to smuggle Florence out of the E.U. compound is foiled by the guards being absent (and the gate is left open). It involved a coffee pot, half a ream of paper, and three fully automatic hot glue guns.
  • Edge can convey doom in three words or less.
  • Sam's prank on the robot cops:
    Sam: I noticed there were tie-off points near the officers' break room door. Then a quick scrounge about turned up a roll of surgical tubing, a plastic bucket, and duck.
  • The jurors in the Mr Kornada case:
    For the last time, we can only say "guilty" or "not guilty". We can not suggest punishments. Although I will admit your idea with the rubber hoses, the penguin and the threshing machine was very creative.
• In Girl Genius:
  • Agatha's first attempt at fortune-telling leaves her babbling: "She... tea cozy... forty-three hours... only one spoon... how... eek!"
  • Later, one "intricately choreographed" number from a sparky opera is left to the imagination:
    "For this performance, the Mechanikopera has recreated the original choreography, including all seventeen soup waiters, three ladder teams and the original roller skating giraffe!"
  • Also, a Twitter based on Othar Tryggvassen relies heavily on this and Noodle Incidents for comedy.
  • When "our favorite bloodthirsty maniac" Bangladesh DuPree asked about her choice in ways of killing amateur assassins, the visual interpretation has: dagger, pistol, axe and Swiss cheese. Of course, that might just be a visual representation of what she'd be turning them into...
  • It's unknown what a mad scientist can do with a thousand orphans, a hedge maze and enough cheese.
  • And after an incident that happens off-panel: "Thank goodness you had all those clockwork ducks, Klaus."
  • When asked how she managed to construct a mechanical taxidermist-cum-tailor, Agatha replied "Please, I always carry a Swiss army knife and a coil of wire".
  • Sparks as a whole can do some things that are normally impossible with baffling ingredients, leading to this conversation:
    Tarvek: The first (sandwich) is now acting as an admittedly excellent condenser in a device...
    Agatha: That's the mustard that does that.
    Tarvek: And the second is strapped into said device and is quoting Christopher Marlowe.
    Rakethorn: Well, I did use the very best butter.
• In El Goonish Shive, Dan was apparently going to start a new story involving ninjas, japanese bath houses, and hamsters. Lots of hamsters but this was scrapped because he had to deal with the aftermath of a party he threw celebrating the conclusion of the previous arc.
• Gunnerkrigg Court: In "Two Strange Girls", Kat constructs a fully functional anti-gravity unit out of a thermos and coat hangers. (And she wasn't even that interested in the anti-gravity field itself; she just wanted to be able to run her protein experiment for a Science Fair.)
• Head Trip: During a bizarre case of What Did I Do Last Night?, Malory—having taken over Disney World over the course of a week in the process and gained limited powers over reality itself, assumes she blacked out after one last shot, which according to her friends, involved the following process:
  Sparrow: I'm not really sure. I just grabbed some stuff from your bar … vodka, rum, gin, whiskey, something with a handmade label that just said "NO", tequila …
  Malory: Tequila. That might explain it.
  • It then turns out that the bottle of "NO" was a reality-altering potion that her devil friend intended to give to someone in exchange for their soul—only to change his mind at the last minute. The devil then hid the bottle in Malory's house, labeling it so that no one would drink it—apparently ignorant of the fact that his choice of label was, in a very pissed-off Malory's words, "catnip for drunk people".
• Homestuck: the incident in question is actually seen on-screen, but Jade's explanation still counts.
  GG: all that stuff blew up
  TG: blew up
  GG: its a long story that involves a pinata and a gun and a very naughty doggie
  TG: i completely understand everything about that practically entirely
• Inhuman Relations: It's a long story involving a pickle fork, a jug of lemonade, and the Kiwanis.

• A little bit more obvious than other examples, but Adam and Jamie from Irregular Webcomic! "seem to have vanished completely attempting to pull a tooth with string, a doorknob, and 30 sticks of dynamite".
• Keychain of Creation, as the party is informed the local beach god is on his way:
  Misho: ...We're going to need more coconuts.
  Ten Winds: No, he doesn't do that anymore.
• In Knights of Buena Vista, Adriana's Player Character is so Min Maxed out that she can cause the apocalypse under certain conditions. The only condition stated though involves gummi worms, which the Game Master promptly bans from the campaign.
• Lackadaisy: "Some sort of high-speed, ballistic goose-related incident!"
• This strip of Loserz. A tutu, big coconuts, bear fur suits (to be worn without pants) and the key element is a little plush bear of doom?
• This Megatokyo comic, in which Piro tunes out Largo's rant about how to defend their new apartment, and all we get to hear is "...And that's why we need to find a store that sells rocket launchers. Help me with this phone book."
• Ménage à 3:
  • This strip lists "Zii's spectacular get lucky kit. Satisfaction guaranteed!": "Condoms, lube, different sized condoms, music to get her in the mood... Good. Then you need about 4 liters of canola oil, a pair of hard-soled boots, two different types of rubber hose, a pair of handcuffs and an extra set of keys..."
  • "Whisper whisper badminton racket Whisper whisper Tabasco sauce Whisper whisper Paddington Bear..." This turns into a Brick Joke when the items in question do appear in a sexual situation in a later strip, then much further down the line and one strip sideways gets bricked again, with Paddington replaced by a plastic tube and the Tabasco sauce replaced by Mexican ghost peppers.
• Mike from Mike: Bookseller apparently did something very bad with a cream puff.
• A Modest Destiny here: "It's not quite as interesting as my plan, but since we seem to be all out of stilts and ventriloquist dummies, it'll have to do..." And here: Lucile and Maxim once defeated over thirty pirates with a wooden spoon and a mirror.
• We get one of these near the end of Narbonic, though it does get explained over the course of the next few weeks:
  Dave: I have to retool the teleporter, crash the Dave Conspiracy, and buy a large bucket of fried chicken. Fast.
• In The Order of the Stick:
  • Elan's original plan to get to Azure City involved a corkscrew, some skis, a box of soap, a basketball, a traffic cone, dressing Thog in a leprechaun costume, and stuffing a giant wooden alpaca with potato salad. It should be noted, however, that Elan is not precisely the sharpest spoon in the drawer (and Thog makes him look like a genius), so his plan wasn't necessarily something a normal person would expect to work. And yes, "spoon" is the intended word. The episode's title was "As Good an Explanation as is Forthcoming", probably referring to the fact that Thog's leprechaun costume had been seen earlier (in a chronologically later strip), and at that point, it had been completely unexplained.
  • Later, when they need an excuse to leave the room, and Elan's dad has been assuming all their previous excuses were about having sex anyway...
    Elan: Uh, dad? Haley and I need to go have sex.
    Haley: Come on, V, and bring the cat, just in case.
    Elan's father: ...Huh.
• In Ozy and Millie a number of Llewellyn's Historical In Jokes seemed to involve whipped cream. Though knowing him (and this comic) there's no guarantee that he meant what you probably thought he meant.
  • Three words: House Rules Parcheezi.
  • Also on Take your Daughter to Work day, that conversation Ozy had with Llewellyn that got censored. No shortage of implements here.
• Penny Arcade's Tycho creates something very much like this with one implement in Exile from Guyville.
• Prequel: There's a Running Gag involving some trick with a pineapple and a yo-yo. Poor Katia becomes the talk of the town because of it.
• In this Questionable Content : "My Limit Break involves a moose, the demon Baphomet, and a Kuiper Belt object." And the animation takes 4 hours.
• Sam & Fuzzy has a interview with a heavy metal singer that, due to heavy censoring, ends with just a single noodle implement:
  'Cause in this world, no one ——ing cares about you. No one gives a ——ing —— if you —— or just —— —— ——ing —— ——ing —— —— with a rubber hose!
• Schlock Mercenary: Sgt. Schlock's plan to bust his teammates out of jail, presented in visual form.
• An example from The Scout Report, the title character is seen in a flashback saying the following:
  Scout: Look, everyone loves bacon, and everyone loves fireworks! What Could Possibly Go Wrong??
• In Sheldon, this trick-or-treater can do some interesting things with one "D" battery, 600 ostrich feathers, a two-stroke motor, 16 grams of potassium chloride... and a male cheetah.
• Skin Horse:
  • This strip:
    Dr. Lee: You're threatening me with something you're not authorized to tell me about.
    ...
    Number Fifteen: Okay, okay, it involves walnuts. Don't ask me again.
  • The worst perversion of science Unity has ever seen...
• Sluggy Freelance:
  • In the 24 parody "24 - 11 = unlucky 13", it's... not actually explained what happens at all, but it somehow involves Bun-bun trying and failing to enact a plan that involves a group of monkeys trained to attack anyone holding exactly eleven items.
  • In "Falling", Torg and Zoë are talking about crossing the Godzilla Threshold and agree that it should not be the a plan B so much as a last resort. Zoë suggests it should be called "plan Z", but it turns out Torg has his own meanings for plans starting with different letters. "Plan Z" is something that would require a "zylophone" bigger than any in the world, whereas "plan S" doesn't work because Torg doesn't trust squirrels.
• Something*Positive: Aubrey has a plan to prevent PeeJee doing something even she thinks is going too far: "I need four cellphones, ten balls of yarn, and two nights worth of cigarettes. I've got a miracle to perform." We do find out what it is.
• Starslip.
  • "Remember the Harakkon disaster of '37? That was me. And six trained goldfish." (Link.)
  • Earlier:
    Aldus Vanderbeam: I also learned I wasn't good at talking to nude models, art professors, the dean of the art department, and campus police. You will never hear that story.
• Station V3 features the following:
  Is it the plan where they need finger paint, water skis, poker chips and inflatable cacti?
  It's the plan where they disable the teleporter.
  Too bad, the other one sounds more interesting.
• Mr Tasey from Stickman and Cube is mentioned as having been fired from his first job after "a curious incident involving a goat, a jar of mayonnaise and a grand piano".
• This Three Word Phrase. An Anti-Humor example because the "medical condition" requiring the implements is named, not just Noodle-implied. Makes even less sense, of course.
• One of the many deaths Kaguya and Mokou of Touhou Project fame inflicted upon each other in this installment of Touhou Nekokayou apparently involved "a toilet plunger, the Buddha's stone bowl, a kendama, a Christmas tree, and three stuffed rabbits" and it "took weeks to find all the patches from (Mokou's) overalls again." (The creator "just wanted to make a comic involving death-by-noodle-implements.")
• Wapsi Square once mentioned a rather creative use of a toilet seat and a rubber chicken.
• The thing they do with a protractor in The Way of the Metagamer requires Brain Bleach.
• Mela's ideas of what makes a suitable deadly weapon in We Are The Wyrecats are creative, to say the least.
• Common cold cure in Weesh somehow involves fish head, toe jam, and liverwurst...and that's not all of it. This strip has Tate and Weesh planning to reclaim the TV by using Happy Fun Ball, cheese whiz, and ferrets.
• Wicked Awesome Adventure:
  • It's noted that an eye can be put out with the use of a funnel, sushi, and a small wager.
  • Subverted when use of the Noodle Implements was demonstrated.
• xkcd:
  • Played with in this strip.
  • And then twisted into Noodle Locations in this later comic.
  • And turned into a plot here: "so long as the raptors don't invent lightsabers."
  • "Why do you have a crossbow in your desk?"
  • To say nothing of this one.
    "And you were thrown out of microsoft headquarters for...trying to feed a squirrel through a fax machine?"
    "I forgot about that! It was part of an argument with Steve Ballmer about Vista. Which I won, by the way."
  • Alluded to in this comic. People alive in 2020 will know why certain Google searches became popular ^note i.e. the coronavirus pandemic, but those born later (or too young at the time to be aware of what was going on) may be a little lost.

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