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"With that (Théoden) seized a great horn from Guthláf his banner-bearer, and he blew such a blast upon it that it burst asunder". It sounds good in print, but just try picturing it without the whole scene seeming silly. You can imagine Théoden staring at the destroyed horn in confusion before shrugging and throwing it away.
Saruman ditching his white robe for one of many colors is really silly to picture. That's probably why he stayed white in the film. In the MMO based on the book, Saruman does appear with a cloak/robe that iridesces slowly through all the colors of the rainbow, and while with a decent graphics card it's really a very nice effect, it definitely confirms that "let's just stick with white" was the right decision, because it makes him look like he's stopped by on his way to the Rainbow Pride parade.
"Boromir strode up and down, speaking ever more loudly. Almost he seemed to have forgotten Frodo, while his talk dwelt on walls and weapons, and the mustering of men; and he drew plans for great alliances and glorious victories to be; and he cast down Mordor, and became himself a mighty king, benevolent and wise." That sounds incredibly long-winded, like it would have taken up several minutes at least. One can imagine Frodo trying to keep up, before disappearing out of sheer boredom while Boromir was talking about trebuchets.
Even more ridiculous than Saruman of Many Colours was the description of Gandalf having "bushy eyebrows that stuck out beyond the brim of his hat". Unless he wore a pork pie hat, he had stupidly huge eyebrows. Just imagine if he took his hat off:
Gandalf: You think, as is your wont, my lord, of Gondor only.
Denethor: I think, as is my wont, of your F***KING EYEBROWS!
The Crown of Gondor as described in the books and illustrated by Tolkien looks... decidedly goofy, especially once you imagine Aragorn walking around wearing it. It's somewhat inspired by the crown of Upper Egypt, but this leads to it sharing that crown's uncanny resemblance to a bowling pin. It's probably not for no reason that the films went with a more conventional crown design.
Ralph Bakshi Animated Film:
Ralph Bakshi made an Animated Adaptation of The Lord of the Rings in 1978, a time when he was in love with the technique of rotoscoping. He filmed much of the movie in live-action and then traced over it, creating an odd-looking form of animation. The result of this process is, depending on your point of view, either a cavalcade of creepiness or a perfect storm of Narm.
The prologue's depiction of the battle that concluded the Second Age. We've got silhouettes of warriors doing battle set against a blood-red background, which is a fairly solid artistic choice. Too bad it's completely wasted as the actors lazily swing their swords and give each other love-taps. When Isildur delivers the coup de grace on "Sore-on", the Dark Lord yanks his hand away as if he'd just broken a nail.
Gollum in the Prologue, a silhouette shuffling towards the screen in huge furry slippers. Perhaps he borrowed them from The Balrog.
As the image above depicts, Frodo often looks... off at certain points in the film. In that particular scene, his expression looks like he's screaming in horror, when in actuality he only lets out a quiet gasp when Gandalf tosses the Ring into the fire. There are also several scenes, including that one, where Frodo leaves his mouth wide open for little-to-no discernible reason.
Sam's joyful reaction to the possibility of seeing elves is silly, with his odd enunciation and goofy voice.
Similarly, after narrowly avoiding the Ringwraith under the tree, the Hobbits shout "Hurray!" moments after it leaves. It makes you wonder if the Hobbits were even aware of the danger they were just in, or even if they know they are not out-of-the-woods yet.
During Aragorn’s introduction in Bree, he actually does a good job in being an intimidating figure… until he pulls out the Sword that was broken. While this was certainly in the book, it’s missing an earlier letter from Gandalf that tells the hobbits to look for the man carrying the broken sword. As a result, it comes across as somewhat awkward, since a dull, broken sword is hard to be intimidated by. Audiences unfamiliar with the books would be confused why Aragorn is carrying such a poor weapon in the first place, while fans would be underwhelmed by the first appearance of the Sword of Elendil.
The sword does get a proper introduction during the Council of Elrond scene, where Aragorn describes its significance. This makes the viewers wonder why the Sword couldn’t be revealed at that scene instead of in Bree.
When the Fellowship is being chased by Orcs in Moria, Aragorn runs back and shouts at them, "Come no closer!" And it works. The Orcs stop dead in their tracks and simply jeer at Aragorn and the Fellowship without moving any further, even when Aragorn continues running back with the group. It kind of diminishes any tension if you only have to shout at an enemy to stop and they listen and obey. Not helping matters is the fact that this is immediately followed by...
The Unscary Balrog. While some of the rotoscoped aspects, such as the Ringwraiths, their horses, and even some of the orcs, do portray them as very ominous and unnatural, the Eldritch Abomination from the books that struck fear and dread into Gandalf is a hilariously bad lion costume, with butterfly wingsnote Which also makes why it doesn't just fly back up after the bridge is destroyed a mystery. and fuzzy boots. And it looked really unconvincing even back then; there are many other older animated film monster and demon designs, even one from the 1940s that looked a whole lot better than this live-action rotoscoped catastrophe. Remember, they could have easily used conventional animation at any time during the production.
Whoever played Gandalf in the reference footage must have been instructed to overact as much as possible. He doesn't get through a single sentence in his monologues without flailing his arms about like a madman. Indeed, he looks like an extra in a Harold Zoid movie, and Frodo often looks like he wants to run away.
The armies of Orcs are photocopies of guys standing around in cheap monster masks.
The Orcs sap their credibility as a threat through excessive Mook Chivalry, frequently preferring to wave their weapons and lurch around theatrically rather than attack, and even dealing the occasional clumsy team-kill.
The Nazgûl initially look scary; but once they dismount, they shuffle around moaning as if they suffer from severe arthritis.
During the chase to the ford, a Nazgûl charges out of the woods to menace our heroes... then his horse spends a whole minute wandering aimlessly, walking backward, standing still, and spinning around like a dog chasing its own tail.
The magnificent Treebeard looks more like a nude, mostly bald dwarf with a silly hat rather than a tree-like entity. It must be seen to be believed.◊
There's Viking Boromir and Indian Aragorn (although John Hurt's performance was good) looking flashy in their miniskirts.
During the reference footage for one of the many running scenes, Aragorn trips and falls flat on his face. They didn't even bother to edit it out of the final film!
The scene in which Bilbo is tempted to take back the ring at Rivendell. His awkward movements make it look like he's having a seizure. A shame because the rest of the scene is quite well done.
While the sequence of the Orcs marching on Helm's Deep is for the most part frightening, the effect is somewhat undermined by what sounds like a kazoo on the soundtrack.
Peter Jackson Films:
Elves doing everything in slow motion.
Sauron's depiction as a literal flaming eye on top of Barad-dûr. In the book, Sauron was stated to still be a humanoid, and "Eye of Sauron" was just a metaphor for his power; Peter Jackson's decision to basically turn Sauron into a big, scary lighthouse was met with some derision. The Hobbit films seem to address this by indicating that Sauron's humanoid form is actually contained within the eye's pupil.
Certain lines, especially "Legolas, what do your elf eyes see?", "Nobody tosses a dwarf!" and the all-too-obvious title drops. Not to mention how Jackson worked in some rather ham-fisted allusions to the book's chapter titles. "It was only a detour. A shortcut!" "A shortcut to what?" "Mushrooms!" On the other hand, we have the dialogue that's lifted more or less directly from the books, which can also come across as very narmy. Some lines work well when they're written down (even if it's only because they're accommodated by the writing style in general) but end up sounding incredibly silly when spoken aloud, especially to our 21st-century ears.
The Battle of the Last Alliance seems to impede the capability of Elendil's kin of articulate speech:
Galadriel:Victory was near...
Elendil: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Galadriel: It was in this moment, when all hope had faded, that Isildur, son of the king, took up his father's sword.
Isildur: NRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
The duel between Gandalf and Saruman in Orthanc. On the Extended Edition commentary, Peter Jackson indicates he hates the cliched scene of wizards throwing fireballs and such at each other, and instead opted for “two old guys beating the hell out of each other”, which he finds an inherently funny image. The result, however, is at the very least a bit too unique.
For starters, the scene of Gandalf hurrying towards the chamber's door, without even putting an end to the reunion or saying goodbye to Saruman (whom he still thinks to be just a case of Good is Not Nice), once he learns the Hobbits are in danger. Then Saruman closes the door with Mind over Matter, and Gandalf, instead of asking what he is doing, turns to another door, which also closes. Then towards another door, again fruitlessly. Then another. Only then, after four different proofs that Saruman is obstructing him, he understands that the White Wizard is up to no good.
The battle begins with Saruman suddenly bellowing in rage in reply to an accusation of insanity by Gandalf. Not only it is silly, it also makes it look like a Lame Comeback, as if Saruman had really no answer for such a cliche and just attacked him.
The entire duel being a battle of turning telekinetic pushes through their staves's tips. Not only because it seem to be the only spell they both can come up with at the moment, but also because half of pushes send them crashing against the walls, but others simply seem to trip them down, making the good Wizards fall down squealing like the old men they are (or look).
The duel's spectacularly anticlimactic ending. Instead of overpowering Gandalf, Saruman simply snatches his staff from his hand, leaving him with a stunned, Oh, Crap! face before throwing him down. It makes it look like Saruman, despite being the leader of Gandalf's order and a new adept of Sauron, only won because Gandalf luckily got distracted half a second.
Saruman making Gandalf telekinetically spin on his shoulder on the ground with Staves Akimbo, for no apparent reason, before launching him up the tower's stairwell (which is seen in part from above, by the way). If there were any piece of drama left in the duel, that should have killed it dead.
The Nazgûl kick down the wooden wall to get into Bree, and the guy who is behind the wall somehow manages to get smashed completely flat. As in, the wall ends up completely flat on the ground, with no indication that there is a body underneath it.
Liv Tyler went out of her way to lower the range of her voice to give Arwen a sense of age and authority. It mostly works, but it's also clear that she wasn't able to read some of her lines in a deeper voice and whispers them instead, something the other elven characters don't do. What's even funnier is that according to the Extended Edition appendices, when her father saw Fellowship for the first time, he thought they'd overdubbed her with someone else's voice!
This deleted scene comes across as very silly. Frodo's convenient placement directly underneath the trolls (almost as though someone deliberately did so there), with Sam's sheepish reaction to it cut together with Frodo's expression of anguish and terror, it almost comes off as though Sam is actively trying to scare Frodo to death.
"Crebain from Dunland!" It Makes Sense in Context for those who have read the books, but since those terms and their context aren't elaborated on in the film, it just seems like a really weird way for Legolas to yell "Uh oh, birds!"
"Fell voices on the wind", or Christopher Lee singing in the shower?
The accompanying shot of Saruman bombastically singing spells on top of Orthanc doesn't precisely help. It almost looks like created specifically for Internet people to meme it and/or insert new soundtracks on it to make it look like Saruman is singing them.
Gimli's reaction to seeing Balin's tomb in the Mines of Moria. In the book, he merely puts a hood over his face to hide his tears. In the movie, he sobs vociferously like a wino for what feels like minutes, this after he previously did the same after finding all the corpses in Moria's gate.
Frodo's face when he gets impaled by the cave-troll. Especially because he's not even remotely injured thanks to his Mithril vest. You can't help but get the feeling that he's just overreacting, or he thought he's gonna die, unaware of how resilient the Mithril vest truly is. (Or he just temporarily got the wind knocked out of him, somehow without leaving broken ribs or internal damage.)
The Fellowship's faces, especially Aragorn's, when the Balrog first arrives and the orcs scatter.
"A BALRRRROG OF MORRGOTH!"
Let's talk about Galadriel:
The highlight is Galadriel's rant and "dark queen" transformation when she is tempted by the Ring, complete with slowed down/warped voice and (possibly) overdone effects. For some, Nightmare Fuel of the High Octane variety. For others it can be cringeworthy.
It may even depend on the specific shot. When Galadriel was shot from the front, her arms were pointed in an awkward position, and her slightly upturned face, along with the negative colours, made her nose look like a pig's snout. It made her look like a weird scarecrow.
Galadriel on a whole can come off this way. Cate Blanchett is attempting ethereal and somewhat inhuman... it can easily come off as if she's just really really stoned and looking at Frodo like an extra-large bag of Cheetos.
"They're taking the hobbits to Isengard!" The real issue with this one is the Adaptation Explanation Extrication that the trio were trying to figure out if Merry and Pippin were being taken to Isengard or Mordor, leaving Legolas making this statement so dramatically come off as totally meaningless.
If you’re familiar with Middle Earth's geography, Legolas saying Isengard is to the northeast makes no sense, as that would actually take him back home.
Immediately preceded by "Legolas! What do your Elf Eyes see?" Swish your Elf Hair! Listen with your Elf Ears!
There are certain words that are impossible to take seriously. "Younglings" is one. "Man-Flesh" is another.
When meeting Éomer, Aragorn introduces himself and Gimli by their names and their fathers', then randomly introduces Legolas as simply from the woodland realm. It's unexplainable in context (other scenes in the trilogy do it properly) and only makes it look like Aragorn forgot Thranduil's name.
Possessed Theoden. He looks like such a crazy, senile old man in craggy hair and beard that is hard not to find it perversely funny. Also, "Hurr hurr hurr" is possibly the least intimidating way to laugh.
The callback to the wizard duel (see above) when Gandalf whacks Theoden (who has fallen under Saruman's influence) on the head. The action cuts to Isengard where Saruman goes flying off by the blow.
When Aragorn reaches Helm's Deep after being thought dead, Éowyn, who has a crush on him, rushes forward to welcome him back. She stops when she sees Legolas return the Evenstar to Aragorn because it reminds her that Aragorn is already in love with Arwen. From the way the scene is shot, it looks like Legolas is having a romantic reunion with Aragorn and beating Éowyn to the punch.
Fun fact: They originally intended for Arwen to appear at Helm's Deep. That was the scene Éowyn was supposed to be reacting to. Considering what scene they replaced it with, one wonders if the producers wantedHo Yay in the movie.
During the Battle of Helm's Deep, Legolas's shield-boarding. As in, he surfs down a flight of stairs on someone's shield.
The Orc runner who carries the torch to set off the charges that breach Helm's Deep. For one thing he's shirtless and running down a trench of cheering, roaring Orcs. It is not clear if it is a deliberate, twisted reference to the Olympics, but whether it is or just an unintentional resemblance (up to debate which option would be narmier), it is greatly ridiculous.
It was, of course, only a matter of time before someone decided to set it to Vangelis' theme for Chariots of Fire. Behold.
When Deagol picks up the One Ring, he uses his whole hand and grabs lots of dirt from the bottom of the river more than he logically should have — he's only attracted by the Ring there; why wouldn't he just use two fingers to pick it, instead?note Reality Is Unrealistic combined with See Water: all he would perceive on the bottom of the lake would be a shiny blur whose precise position would be uncertain: best to just grab a handful of sand to be sure.
Smeagol's voice already sounded like his voice when he became Gollum, despite previous films implying his deranged and childish voice was the result of corruption and deformation from One Ring. It just looks really weird to see Andy Serkis as a relatively normal-looking Hobbit speak like that and it kinda ruins the dramatic value of his Start of Darkness.
Pippin's line "We are sitting on a field of victory," due to the huge hunk of bread in his mouth combining with his Scottish accent to make it sound like he's saying "We are shitting," which actually kind of fits the situation too. Rifftrax notably completely ran with this.
The reveal that Gandalf Sleeps with Both Eyes Open is impossible to take with anything other than confused laughter. The fact that it's useless since he still doesn't notice what's happening doesn't help.
When Pippin's being mind-raped by the Orthanc Palantir, it looks like he's having either a seizure or an orgasm. His face doesn't help.
The Extended Edition reveals that the Dead Men's first answer to Aragorn's summons was an avalanche of skulls. Apparently they had been piling them up for just such an occasion?
Shortly followed by another scene (thankfully also deleted from the theatrical release) where Aragorn and friends make it out of the mountain. The emotion swells, Aragorn collapses to his knees in despair... only to reveal an extremely dull shot of the King of the Dead striding through the wall, blandly stating "We fight." Aside from the Mood Whiplash, it makes you wonder why he tried to murder the trio a minute ago.
Sam being inspired to go back to save Frodo only after finding the lembas bread Gollum had thrown off the mountain. It's like he was somehow convinced that he really did eat it.
The Elvish words Frodo speaks to illuminate the Light of Ëarendil, "aiya elenion ancalima", sound a little like "I need another CANDY BAR" due to his delivery.
Denethor's death scene. Gandalf lays the beatdown on him with his staff, Shadowfax kicks him in the head right onto his son's funeral pyre, and then he catches fire and runs all the way into the courtyard, through the garden (which looks like a helipad from the top down, by the way), and off the cliff of Minas Tirith. For some, this is actually best part of the movie.
What makes it worse/better is the cliff is a good 50-to-100 metres from the nearest building, leading to Fridge Narm when you realise Denethor must be quite the athlete as he did the 100 metre sprint, wearing heavy clothing and dying while on fire during the cut between locations.
Bonus Narm for those who recall the parallel scene from the book. Gandalf speaks the same line in both — "So passes Denethor, son of Ecthelion". The film version has him passing in a literal "Keep to the left" sense. (Arguably, this delivery seems like it was done on purpose.)
Éowyn killing The Witch King comes across as an Anti-Climax Boss experience as if he was a Paper Tiger all along. When he declares that "No man may kill me." It's like he's Tempting Fate! He promptly proceeds to get cheap-shotted in the back, Éowyn declares "I am no man" and stabs him in the face, causing his form to "implode" like there's a black hole inside of his form. Now, this wasbetter explained in the book by Merry's sword being a Barrow-blade which was enchanted so that it could counter Nazgûl successfully, but the casual viewer may be puzzled that he is defeated so comically.
When Legolas finally comprehends Aragorn's plan to draw the gaze of Sauron's eye, he adds a real gem to the conversation:
Aragorn showing himself to Sauron through the Palantir, holding the restored sword of Elendil, looks like he's just trying to take a cool selfie. (This never happened in the book, where he simply told the others what he's done.)
He holds the Palantir with one hand to show himself to Sauron while smirking looks like he's taking an edgy selfie. Seeing as the Palantir was a direct link to Sauron, the whole scene does look like an awkward video call.
Plus, despite the epic Tolkien-esque writing of the scene... it still comes off as Aragorn saying 'nah-nah-ne-nah-nah' to the big villain of the series, waving his sword like 'look at what I've got!'
In the Battle of Morannon, Aragorn was supposed to be fighting Sauron in person (as the dramatic buildup indicated), but this was scrapped. Instead, he spent the most climactic battle getting stepped on by a giant troll while stabbing him in the foot.
When the Black Gate is collapsing, there's a shot where you see Aragorn's face staring in awe. Thing is, there's another guy right behind him who looks like he's whistling; his expression screams, "Oooooooh, cool." (Around 1:03 in this video.)
The whole "people the size of children jumping on a bed while an old geezer watches and laughs" is hilarious. Even more so viathis video.
Frodo greets Aragorn and Gimli by shouting their names, but gives Legolas a look of "oh, yeah... that other guy that did... stuff..."
Returning to Ho Yay, Aragorn is met by a procession of elves after being crowned king. At the very front is Legolas, and again, from the way the scene is shot it looks like Aragorn is about to marry him.
Amazon's Rings of Power:
The gravitas of Galadriel's moment of freedom, while riding a horse through Númenor, gets a bit marred by the usage of slow motion and the slightly awkward expression she pulls which, as opposed to a joyful smile, looks more like a grimace.
The resolution of the Meaningful Rename of "The Southlands" to "Mordor", well set up with a dialogue with Adar at the end of Episode 7, is resolved non-diegetically by superimposing in the screen the actual letters of the former words becoming the latter. This has been met with derision, being regarded as a kitsch resource that ruins the seriouness of the moment while spoon-feeding the viewers, considered more suited for post-modern works such as videogames, and out of place in an adaptation of a solemn literary work.
Galadriel's sudden line "there is a tempest in me!" during her dramatic clash with Queen Miriel is usually singled out as an offbeat chuckle-inducing remark, coming across closer to a child tantrum than to the intended Badass Boast.
, especially once you imagine Aragorn walking around wearing it. It's somewhat inspired by the crown of Upper Egypt, but this leads to it sharing that crown's uncanny resemblance to a bowling pin. It's probably not for no reason that the films went with a more conventional crown design.
