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Narm / The Legend of Zelda

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"Damn it, Ganondorf, this is a Zelda game, not Raving Rabbids!"

"Straight up, the only reason the Phillips CD-i Zelda titles are considered to have exceptionally bad dialogue is because they're fully voiced. There's dialogue in the mainline Zelda titles that'd be far more YTP-worthy than anything in Faces of Evil if it were to be spoken by an actual human being, and deep down I think we all know it.

People in the notes are acting like I must be talking about the broken English in the NES games as though literally everything that comes out of Sidon’s mouth doesn’t qualify."

  • This goes all the way back to the original Famicom Disk System version of The Legend of Zelda. As seen on this comparison page, most of the sound effects in the Japanese version starting with "Sword Shooting" sound rather goofy in comparison to the NES versions.
  • In Zelda II: The Adventure of Link, when you get a Game Over, Ganon's Evil Laugh sounds more silly than intimidating.note 
  • The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past: The scene where Link returns to the Sanctuary to find Zelda kidnapped and the Old Man near-death might have been more of a tear-jerker if the Old Man's body didn't have a typical old-school video game death animation, complete with blinking followed by disappearing, as well as sound effects.
  • The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening:
    • If you steal from the shop, you will permanently get renamed "THIEF", which utterly ruins the serious scenes like the date with Marin or the ending.
    • Then there's the moment where Marin becomes a Guest-Star Party Member after the date, during which Link just holds her above his head like he does with every important item he finds while wearing a big smile on his face, complete with triumphant fanfare.
      Is this your big chance?
  • The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time has the cutscene of Ganon's Castle collapsing into the ground. It looks less like it's breaking down and more like a toy castle that's sinking into the ground, looking nothing like destruction. The castle looks like it's just folding over.
    • From Ocarina of Time again you have Ganondorf's last bit of dialogue: "CURSE YOU ZELDA!!! CURSE YOU SAGES!!! CURSE YOU... LINK!!!" Not helped by the face he makes, which is even somewhat reminiscent of CD-i Ganon's infamous face.
    • And unless you used all-caps for your name (which would go against the game's naming convention), his last sentence is actually written as "CURSE YOU...Link!"
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    • Ganondorf's last bit of the text after the fight with Phantom Ganon:
      Ganondorf: What a worthless creation that ghost was! I will banish it to the gap between dimensions!!
    • Sheik getting tossed around like a rag doll in the scene where Kakariko is on fire. It's otherwise a very serious part of the game, but that animation just looks ridiculous.
    • Adult Link's voice sounds rather goofy and narmy at times.
    • Adult Link's default spawn on starting up the game is at the Temple of Time. If you turned off the game after releasing the last Sage, it will automatically start the cutscene with Sheik in the Temple when you start the game up again. If you were still wearing your Iron Boots when you saved and turned off, Link will still be wearing them in the cutscene. Complete with loud clanking footsteps, all the time.
  • The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask: The moon's redesign in the 3DS remake and Hyrule Warriors, with its exaggerated features.[1] Likely done to make it look more grotesque, but it ended up looking less scary and more derpy than anything.
  • Even The Wind Waker, despite the humor relying heavily on slapstick anyway, managed to have a short narm scene in the final boss battle, when Ganondorf attacks Tetra. Upon seeing it, Link snaps into a weird, somewhat angry-ish, facial expression for a split second... It's obviously meant to look badass because now It's Personal, but ended up looking more like Ganondorf just trashed Link's Treehouse or something, not like he smacked one of his best friends brutally to the ground.
    • Additional narm in this same scene is the way that Ganondorf attacks Zelda. Once Link does enough damage to him during the first part of the battle, Ganondorf will turn to the camera dramatically and seem to only just realize that Zelda is helping Link. In response, he leaps over to Zelda, over-dramatically sheathes his sword, and then... slaps her. The developers most likely did the scene this way because her injuries would look much more serious if he sliced her, or used any sort of attack with his sword for that matter, but this has the unfortunate outcome of instead making it look like he deliberately put on the kid gloves at that moment to make sure Zelda didn’t get too injured from his attack. Even though he’s supposedly attempting a Taking You with Me and there’s no reason to think he wouldn’t be trying to kill both of them at this point. A magic spell would have probably been the best way to portray a non-lethal attack without making Ganondorf look like an idiot, but alas.
  • In an effort to punctuate the totally unsurprising fact that he is, in fact, The Dragon, and not the Big Bad: Zant, the Twilight King of Twilight Princess shifts from his excellent creepiness of all previous scenes to jumping around and clucking like a chicken during his boss fight.
    • Twilight Princess again, we get the scene where Ilia regains her memories. With over the top music and Epona doing the "Majestic Horse" pose in the background.
    • There was actually quite a bit of this in Twilight Princess. The example that comes to mind is the scene (which straddles the line between Narm and Nightmare Fuel) where one of the spirits is warning Link that the fused shadows could corrupt him; it brings to mind cardboard props in a god-awful 3rd-grade school play. Not to mention the moment during said scene where a Link who appears to be suffering from cataracts lets loose The Scream.
    • The best part? At the end of that scene, a bunch of laughing Ilias start raining from the sky while Link watches on, wearing an expression on his face that clearly shows he's high as a kite.
    • Several minor scenes suffer from poor animation or unrealistic movements (such as the bizarre way Zelda's sword fell, or the utterly silly stumbling animation of the boss in the Goron Mines).
    • Those noises Link makes as he's turning into a wolf for the first time sounds more like he's having sex.
    • The scene on the bridge where Link's horse rears up while he poses, framed against the setting sun. It comes across as trying too hard to be epic that it comes across as narm.
    • Midna getting ragdolled into the outer walls of Hyrule Castle by the Fused Shadows (which are way too big for her imp form) stuck around her head happens to look very silly.
      • Then there's the music of the transformation scene. Or, as ThornBrain interpreted it...
    • Many people think the chanting during the boss fight against Beast Ganon sounds like Homer Simpson repeatedly shouting "get a job!" If that's what you hear, it really sucks the tension and thrill out of the fight.
    • The anguished scream Ganondorf lets out after receiving the Coup de Grâce is rendered unintentionally funny by the closeup on his ridiculous, wide-open "Muppet" mouth.
  • Zelda's Sparkling Stream of Tears near the end of Spirit Tracks comes off as this to some people. Ironically, she ruined a Tear Jerker scene with it.
  • Skyward Sword:
    • Ghirahim's little "That Makes Me Feel Angry" tirade during your first meeting with him. FURIOUS! OUTRAGED! SICK WITH ANGER!
    • Not helping matters is his over-the-top feminine look resembling Lady Gaga, which works against the seriousness of his scenes.
    • Ghirahim doing his tongue thing.
      • Link's face is hilarious in that scene as well, seeing as he's just as bemused as the player probably is.
    • This news has filled Ghirahim's heart with rainbows.
    • Ghirahim is too fabulous to take seriously, and we love him for it.
    • Also in Skyward Sword, Tentalus' introduction after a rather scary moment of the Sandship being torn to pieces with you inside; you'd be expecting some sort of badass-looking kraken, but instead you get a ridiculous chubby looking cyclops with no hands and Medusa-esque tentacles for hair that would look right at home in Monsters, Inc. (as The Autarch and Rabbid Luigi put it, it looks like Mike and Celia's offspring).
    • The game opens with a rather horrifying nightmare of Link's, involving what appears to be an enormous mouth in an eyeless face made of black scales. One of the nightmares ends as the creature appears to devour Zelda. The figure from Link's nightmare is a boss later in the game, The Imprisoned. When it appears, it tears itself out of its seal in the earth, and you see its enormous mouth... stood up on a pair of short, stubby legs with goofy, balloon-like "toes". Suddenly, the creature is no longer the supremely evil being it first seemed to be.
      • Even worse: it falls over if it doesn't have toes. Any fans of Chuggaaconroy will have an absolute field day with this boss.note  And just wait until it grows its hilariously oversized arms with similar balloon-like "fingers".
      • The inside of its mouth kind of looks like an anus. You've got a gigantic, armless, stubby-legged, scaly anus roaring at you.
    • There's this one scene where Groose is about to go cry and it plays the saddest violin music that it can manage.
    • The scene where Link and Zelda finally reunite after going through the Gate of Time is very heartwarming and tear-jerky... except for the fact that in one of the expressions Link uses his eyes get very wide, to the point that he looks like he's high as a kite.
  • The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild: Unlike most games, in BOTW you can equip Link with a variety of different outfits and pieces of armor. Needless to say, some of the cutscenes are hard to take seriously if Link is standing there wearing nothing but his underwear and a monster mask.
  • Hyrule Warriors: Any scariness Ganon's beast form might have had is instantly killed by his ridiculous walking animation. Slamming his fists into the ground, bobbing his head up and down, cheerfully sending mooks flying as he goes, he looks like he's trying to prance!
    • Volga the Dragon Knight becomes a bit harder to take seriously when his voice actor actually yells "RAWR!" out loud.
  • The CD-i games have so much of this that they're hard to take seriously. Among the more famous goof-ups are the hammy voice acting, the bad animation and quite a few silly lines. Take for example...