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Must Have Caffeine / Live-Action TV

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  • Name any office drama. Any one. Or any cop show. Seriously, cop shows gotta have crimes, guns, badges, and LOTS of coffee. This seems to be a sort of shorthand to suggest that the characters never have time to sleep. On that note, medical shows and cop shows gotta have lousy coffee in the break room.
  • In the episode "Another Opening, Another no show" on Full House Danny consumes too much coffee and gets super hyper.
  • Everyone in Corner Gas, but Brent and Davis especially.
    • Karen is an interesting case. She does love caffeine like everyone in Dog River, but one episode showed she prefers to get it from cola rather than coffee. The reason she usually drinks coffee is because of Davis, who gets in her face and lectures her about how unhealthy cola is whenever he sees her drinking it.
    • Brent drinks a great deal of coffee; when Emma suggests that he cut down to three cups a day, he scoffs, "Three cups? That's for preschoolers or something. And they get nap time." He tried to give up coffee in the episode "Dog River Vice" and spent a few days in a zombie-like state of caffeine withdrawal before resuming his habit.
  • French office comedy Caméra Café is filmed from the perspective of a coffee machine.
  • Castle
    • Rick Castle hates the NYPD coffee so much that he gives the homicide detectives an espresso machine.
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    • In one episode, Beckett pulls an all-nighter at the precinct trying to solve a case. When Castle arrives the next morning, Ryan mentions that she's had "like, 9 double shots of espresso."
      Castle: You know, the Internet's talking about this great new thing called sleep. Supposed to be really good for you.
      (Beckett ignores him)
    • Castle frequently arrives at the precinct with two cups of coffee, one for himself and one for Beckett, as a matter of course. In "After the Storm", Beckett brings him coffee the morning after They Do.
    • Coffee has in a way become a symbol of Castle and Beckett's courtship. When Natalie Rhodes takes the coffee Castle bought for Beckett in "Nikki Heat", Beckett gets quite upset. In "Always" Castle freely admits to Beckett; "Every morning, I bring you a cup of coffee just so I can see a smile on your face."
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  • Homicide: Life on the Street: Frank Pembleton relies on coffee to get through the day even after he had a stroke and his doctor warned him to get off the stuff.
  • Will & Grace: Jack after he hooks up with Paul, who works at Jumpin' Java.
    Jack: [quickly, constantly sipping iced coffee] Hey, friends, lovers, mothers, and other strangers. You are never going to believe what's happened to me... Oh, my God, did you just see that? I almost did a half nelson, I almost bruised my delicates, my delicates, my—duh-oh, my gosh. Mr tomatoes. [finishes coffee, pulls fresh one from a bag] Huge News! I have met, are you ready for this? Mr. Right. Well, Mr. Right Now, anyway. Ba-da-bum. Good night, folks. I'm here all week. Jack 2000! He works over at the Jumpin' Java. You know, that coffee shop on 72nd and his name is Paul. He is cute with a capital Q! And the busier it gets, the hotter he gets, and the hotter he gets, the sweatier he gets, and the sweatier he gets...I forgot where I'm goin' with this, but the point is...[drinks coffee] likey he and he likey me. And the best part is—shazam!—he gives me free iced coffee every time I go in, which is every hour on the hour. Thank you very much! And occasionally on the half hour! Ba ba ba ba ba! [spits tongue as he leaves]
    • Later Jack has to kick the stuff when said barista gets fired and can no longer supply free iced coffees every hour on the hour and occasionally on the half-hour. Karen helps out by kicking coffee too (so she just drinks her Bailey's straight in the morning) and the two of them end up at a wedding where only coffee drinks are being served, no alcohol.
  • Deborah Morgan from Dexter once made a critical break in a murder case after staying up all night and drinking "a metric fuck ton" of coffee.
  • Lt. Stone from Power Rangers (who appeared up to and including Turbo) knows so much about coffee, he's written a book on the subject.
  • All of Torchwood live on coffee. Ianto's coffee, to be precise.
  • Star Trek is geeky, and geeks need caffeine.
    • James Kirk seemed to have a mild coffee addiction. He often had it with his meals and in "The Trouble with Tribbles" he becomes especially agitated with the title creatures when he finds one in his coffee.
    • Even in the era of The Next Generation, the people (if you can stomach calling such criminals people) who took the alcohol out of alcoholic beverages ("synthehol", agh) still have trouble with making a decaffeinated beverage that still tastes good (obviously because they refuse to cut off the caffeine train).
    • Deep Space Nine takes it Up to Eleven with RaktajinoKlingon Coffee! Many "morning rituals" revolved around the drink: such as Odo's security reports to Kira. The most noted raktajino drinker is Captain Benjamin Sisko, with the drink as much a part of his morning ritual as earth coffee is to many in real life. He even shows similar symptoms when he hasn't yet had his morning cup and later in the series decides to cut down on the raktajino. On one occasion when he decides to order Tarkalean tea at breakfast instead of raktajino (because of some machine screwing with probability on the station, apparently), Kira shows surprise bordering on concern. How the trade in Klingon Coffee is related to the thaw in relations between the Federation and the Klingon Empire is something that's sadly never been explored.
    • O'Brien likes his Jamaican Blend, double strong, double sweet. Keiko notices that camera footage depicting the death of her husband Miles O'Brien must be fake because the timestamp shows him drinking coffee much later than usual and would interfere with his sleep. When he's reunited with her later and he asks for coffee, she finds out she was wrong and he'd drink coffee any time of day, even just before sleep.
    • An elderly fellow calling himself Barry Waddle is also an avid fan of his coffee. He was trapped on Cardassia for decades and the closest thing to coffee the Cardassians have is a type of fish juice. When rescued by the Defiant the first thing he does after being brought aboard is dive for the replicators and order raktajino. The coffee scene also turns out to be a Chekhov's Gun: Sisko's love of Klingon coffee is not shared by most humans. Turns out "Barry Waddle" is, in fact, Arne Darvin from the Star Trek: The Original Series episode "The Trouble with Tribbles", who is a disgraced Klingon operative who has been stuck in human disguise for decades.
    • Of all the entries in Star Trek, none of them hold a candle to Kathryn Janeway in Star Trek: Voyager.
      • Her Memory Alpha entry has an entire section devoted to Janeway and Coffee. One early episode has Voyager running low on fuel, preventing the crew from using the replicators — and thereby forcing Janeway to abstain from coffee. Janeway decides to try to extract energy from a nebula, despite the concerns of her officers that it might be dangerous. Her reason? "There is ''coffee'' in that nebula!" So yeah, she's got an addiction, all right.
      • Neelix eventually went mad with power as the cook (really) and tried to control the coffee supply by forcing his own interesting alternatives on the crew, or cutting the half-Klingon chief engineer off during an all-nighter. His attempt to pull this on the captain gave us a page quote. Right after that, he tries to ask a question, which the Captain interrupts with "Coffee first." Janeway never interrupts her crew. But it's just that important. Another episode has Neelix annoyed at being Janeway's coffee boy during one of her all-nighters and offer to set up a caffeine IV drip.
      • Janeway once even admitted that her caffeine-addiction is the only thing that keeps her at all functional;
        Janeway: It's gotten me through the worst of the last three years, I beat the Borg with it!
      • In "Q2", Janeway gets a nasty surprise from a replicator when she asks for a coffee.
        Janeway: Coffee, black.
        Replicator: Make it yourself.
      • In the Series Finale "Endgame", Admiral Janeway, who traveled to the past, reveals that she took up tea as a substitute for coffee. Captain Janeway is visibly surprised. Later in the episode, Admiral Janeway's frustration with her past self compels her to start using coffee again.
    • In one episode of Star Trek: Enterprise, Trip Tucker is stunned and captured by an alien. When he is very rudely awakened, the first thing he mutters is, "I'm no good until I've had my coffee."
    • Malcolm is guilty of this too:
      Malcolm: Coffee. Black.
      Trip: No tea?
      Malcolm: No crumpets, either, thank you.
  • On NewsRadio, to try to get Bill to give up smoking, Dave promises to give up coffee. Both end up taking it pretty hard.
  • In the Noah's Arc movie, this is Alex's main issue (except the caffeine is in pill form, not coffee).
  • Hal from Malcolm in the Middle used to be a caffeine addict, until Dewey said he would stop smoking if Hal stopped drinking coffee. Though all they did in the end was trade addictions.
  • Stan the Coffee Man from MADtv. He drinks coffee so much that he keeps a thermos flask on him, in case something happens to his coffee cup. Though most of the sketches has him trying to kick the habit. It doesn't take long for him to fall off the wagon though. Scientists studying Stan found that he actually pees coffee. And apparently it's delicious.
    Man: You tasted it?!?
    Scientist: Not at first, no.
  • Stephen Colbert's preferred drink is the five-shot Venti Caramel Mocha Latte. When Starbucks was temporarily closed for training, he reverted to a rabid, snarling beast, and had to be chained up. And later, when he finally gets his hands on some... three words: naked coffee shower.
  • Both Lorelai and Rory from Gilmore Girls drank enormous amounts of coffee. Rory loved coffee so much that when she thinks she may be unable to continue visiting Yale's coffee shop, she breaks down in tears (okay, there was a bit more going on for her emotionally at the time, but mentioning the coffee is when she actually started crying). In fact, coffee was a pivotal characterization for both characters, though admittedly more Lorelai's, early on and till the very end, even including several story arcs (Lorelai seems only to date coffee enthusiasts or providers, excepting Rory's dad).
    Max: How about coffee. Do you like coffee?
    Lorelai: Only with my oxygen.
    • Humorously, Alexis Bledel, the actress who played Rory, never cared for the stuff and even grew to hate coffee because she had to drink so much of it playing the part. Eventually, all her cups of "coffee" in scenes that required it were just replaced with Coca Cola because she couldn't take it anymore.
  • NCIS
    • Leroy Jethro Gibbs is very much addicted to coffee and has made death threats on anyone trying to drink his cup. Hilarity Ensues the one time DiNozzo tricks McGee into drinking the boss's coffee. In the military, a senior NCO's coffee mug is his. You may not touch it without his permission, empty or not. Also, it can be used to fight sweating when it's a hot day and there's no air conditioning. Rule 23: Never touch a Marine's coffee if you want to live. And it must be made the right way — Gibbs doesn't like Tony's "three sugars and a hazelnut" coffee. When in the field doing an investigation or a stakeout that includes staying overnight, Gibbs brings his own blend.
      • Played for Laughs in one episode in which Gibbs has to abstain from coffee for an upcoming physical. Unfortunately, two of his ex-wives choose that day to drop by, leaving him unbelievably stressed and desperate for caffeine. When ex-wife #2's fiancé shows up with a cup of coffee during an interrogation, Gibbs finally breaks and downs the man's coffee in one gulp.
    • Abby Sciuto is also addicted to caffeine, though she prefers an energy drink called "Caf-Pow". She (unsuccessfully) tries to break the habit once, and it isn't pretty. On occasion, she will switch to "No-Caf-Pow" if she's worried about the caffeine interfering with her sleep. Then there was the time she drank even more Caf-Pow than usual so she could be extra alert for a particular case. She also upped her salt intake to fight the obvious side-effect. It didn't work.
    • Jenny Shepherd is also a caffeine addict, and the only other person allowed to drink Gibbs' coffee. She was unsuccessful in breaking the habit one episode, resulting in Gibbs leaving his cup for her after a briefing.
    • Let's just say a caffeine addiction is a job requirement at NCIS and leave it at that.
  • During the riot arc of Orange Is the New Black 's fifth season, running out of coffee sparks a second riot by disappointed caffeine junkies. Indeed, the coffee was so important that the Hispanics and white-supremacists joined forces to produce lattes.
    • Later a pair of Hispanics find more coffee...and start doing lines.
  • Twin Peaks: Agent Cooper enjoys a damn good cup of coffee. What's funny is that his actor hates coffee (and cherry pie).
  • One memorable skit on The State involves a family of caffeine addicts who drink ludicrous amounts of coffee, own about twenty percolators spread out through their kitchen and living room, pack their lunchboxes entirely with Thermoses of coffee, talk at the top of their lungs constantly, and find the word "sleep" hysterically funny. At the end of the sketch, their crazy Mad Scientist uncle enters from the garage and triumphantly declares that he's just invented the most highly concentrated form of caffeine known to man; the family patriarch drinks it, calmly pronounces it good, walks out of the house, and explodes.
  • Daniel Jackson from Stargate SG-1 is rarely seen on Earth without a cup of coffee. Although the characters mention it occasionally, the fans have exaggerated his caffeine addiction to epic proportions. Jonas Quinn, his replacement, was often seen standing around with a cup of coffee — but it was because no-one would give him anything to do.
  • Nicholas Rush from Stargate Universe is similar, which is a problem since Destiny has no coffee. Combined with nicotine withdrawal and a severe lack of sleep, the man literally collapsed after a rant. It's also stated that many caffeine and nicotine addicts on Destiny are going through the same problems. According to The Medic, the smokers have it worse.
  • MythBusters: During the first "Alaska Special", when Jamie and Adam were testing "Cabin Fever", Jamie claimed he was napping so much because there wasn't any coffee in the cabins. the 2:23 point on this video.)
    • At one point, Grant develops a fondness for caffeine tablets after sampling a few during the Escape Slide Parachute myth. His antics are described as 'squirrel-like' by Robert Lee, the show's Lemony Narrator.
  • Nathan Ford gave up the booze in Season 2 of Leverage, but he swapped it out for coffee.
  • Ivanova in Babylon 5 is a caffeine addict, as she illicitly grows coffee plants in the station's hydroponics facility. Those plants were originally Laurel Takishima's, but she left, and Ivanova apparently found them. She gives in to Garibaldi purely because he threatens to destroy the coffee plants, describing him as a "vicious man". Justified, because Ivanova has always had problems waking up when it's dark outside, and in space, it's always dark outside.
  • In the Spin-Off to Babylon 5, Crusade, there was an episode ("Visitors from Down The Street") which had The Captain complaining about the quality of the coffee aboard the ship, and wondering if it's actually coffee at all.
    Captain Gideon: I swear they put caffeine in it just to mess with me.
  • Seattle's famed coffee addiction was prime fodder for several Almost Live! sketches. This section of their "Guide to Living in Seattle" is almost exclusively dedicated to the city's coffee obsession.
  • In an episode of 30 Rock, Kenneth gets addicted to coffee, causing him to go back to Georgia. Of course, because Status Quo Is God, he ends up missing the midnight train to Georgia because he was misinformed about the time it left.
  • A running gag on The Kids in the Hall has Dave Foley appearing with a cup of coffee virtually anytime he played himself in a sketch. Also a sketch about the perils of switching to decaf.
  • Both TV and Real Life: The guys from Deadliest Catch make no bones about the enormous amounts of caffeine they live on to get their jobs done, and in their downtime between hauls, are rarely seen without a cup of coffee or an energy drink nearby for quick consumption. When the ship Rollo had to ration coffee in season two, the entire crew suffered badly.
  • David Letterman often sips from his coffee mug while at his desk (sipping coffee...presumably) and has had numerous anti-decaf spoken by the show's announcer, such as "Decaffeinated coffee—oh boy, it sucks!"
  • On Frasier, the main characters are often seen getting coffee in their favorite local coffee shop, Cafe Nervosa.
  • On Young Blades, Queen Anne and the Musketeers go through caffeine withdrawal when the royal doctor convinces King Louis XIV to ban coffee.
  • Mad Men made a Call-Forward Running Gag of client Martinson Coffee's concern that young people wouldn't drink coffee in the future.
  • Barney Miller: Detective Yemana's coffee was memorably awful but the squad downed it in gallons.
  • According to the Doctor Who episode "The Girl Who Waited", the number one destination in the galaxy is the Planet of the Coffee Shops.
  • An episode of Just Shoot Me! begins with Dennis coming in all grumpy and sarcastic. He drinks his coffee and suddenly becomes cheery and helpful.
  • On one episode of Person of Interest, when Reese can't get into the high-security workplace of the week's PoI, Finch gets intelligence on what they're doing by fitting a new coffee machine with a wireless camera and slipping it into their morning mail. It's set up within minutes of the workers realizing it's there.
  • Penny from the The Big Bang Theory. In one notable instance, she came over to the guys' apartment, declared "out of coffee, need coffee" and poured herself a cup like it was nothing, pissing off Leonard's new girlfriend who was unaware of her Drop-In Character status in the process.
  • Spencer from Pretty Little Liars. She “bleeds” caffeine and the other girls refuse to let her make the coffee, she brews it so rich.
  • Greg Sanders on CSI likes Blue Hawaiian coffee in particular. He has a personal stash and is protective of it.
  • Exaggerated on one episode of The Office (US) when a new espresso machine is brought in. Everyone decides to try all ten flavors to see which they like best. By the end of the day, they are all wired and sweaty and end up tearing out the carpet when they discover hardwood flooring underneath.
  • Averted to a degree on Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Buffy and Willow are fond of mochas, although in this case, it's less about the caffeine and more about the sugar.
    Buffy: I feel the need for more sugar than the human body can withstand.
    Willow: Mochas?
    Buffy: Yes please.
  • When Gideon Reeves spends over $100 million to take over the 13th Police District of Chicago and upgrade it with state of the art tech in APB, it's explicitly mentioned that one of the things he replaced was the coffee machine.
  • The Expanse:
    • While exploring the galley on the Tachi, Holden opens a cupboard to find it stuffed with coffee bags. His reaction is one of pure unadulterated joy.


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