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Music / Onkel Konkel and His Konkelbar

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Onkel Kånkel and His Kånkelbär note  is an infamous Swedish music project which existed between 1979 and 2009. How to describe it... well, think of an Up to Eleven mix between the lyrics of The Mentors, Anal Cunt, GG Allin and Frank Zappa at his most juvenile, with a musical backdrop rooted in the most poorly produced, lo-fi, dank-ass Punk Rock you can think of, but occasionally branching out into (equally poor) attempts at everything from Hip-Hop to Disco to Country. Last but not least, filter all of this through a rosy-cheeked 1940's aesthetic. Does this sound good? Well, then check into your nearest Bedlam House for your injections, right away.

There's an argument to be made for Onkel Kånkel being "Acceptable Targets - The Band". They made fun of EVERYONE but had a certain soft spot for Homosexuals, the mentally and physically handicapped, Those Wacky Nazis (laughing with them of course!), and Pedophilia. Despite being a clear 11 on the Mohs Scale of Lyrical Hardness, it's hardly ever OFFENSIVE. There's a peculiar old-timey charm to most of Onkel Kånkels lyrics, which was deliberate. Another famous trait of Onkel Kånkels lyrics is constant name-dropping of old school Swedish celebrities like Martin Jung and Lennart Hyland. For those of you not familiar with who they where, it would be like singing about Mr Rogers and Bob Hope eating shit and raping children.

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The person behind all of this insanity was a man named Håkan Florå. He pulled of the impressive feat of not blowing his cover for the entire time that the band was active. There were rumors and "opens secrets" that Håkan and Onkel were one and the same, but mostly he stayed anonymous up until his death of a heart attack in 2009. Onkel Kånkel made two live appearances, one in 1993 where they were joined on stage by a developmentally disabled man who told jokes and danced, and another one in 2002.

Big name fans, include Oscar Dronjak of Hammerfall, Peter Tätgren of Hypocrisy and Ebbot Lundgren of The Soundtrack of Our Lives.

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Tropes:

  • The Alcoholic: "Shut up bitch, WHERE'S THE BOOZE?!"
  • Butt-Monkey: "Look upon Goebbels, look at his gait, the taunting it echoes in Goebbels wake. Look at the retard, laugh at the retard, everyone's stepping on Goebbels!"
  • I Am the Band: Håkan Florå was Onkel Kånkel. The two times he played live, he was backed by muscicians from a plethora of Swedish Punk and Metal bands like Insision, just to name one.
  • The Jimmy Hart Version: Stole a LOT of riffs. It would take up a whole lot of this page to list them all.
  • Last Note Nightmare: "The ballsack's hanging out".
  • Those Wacky Nazis: "Schnitzel-Fritz", "Nazi dick in the Führers anus", "Retard-Goebbels" etc, etc.
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