Bob Rivers (born July 7, 1956) is a former American rock-and-roll radio personality in the Pacific Northwest, as well as a prolific producer of parody songs (most famously parody Christmas songs, which have included such gems as "The Twelve Pains of Christmas", "Wreck the Malls", "There's Another Santa Claus," "Teddy the Red-Nosed Senator", and "Manger 6"). His other claim to fame is songs about the Seattle Seahawks football team.
He has his own website. He can be heard on-air weekday mornings by clicking the listen button on the radio station's website. Interestingly, he's also a Contest Winner Cameo on an episode of Star Trek: Enterprise.
His work is often misattributed to "Weird Al" Yankovic, despite containing lyrics and themes that Weird Al has said he will not use (such as an entire song about screwing sheep and drug references ("What if god smoked cannabis?"). Also, Rivers uses Classic Rock (like The Beatles and Led Zeppelin) as the basis for his parodies and employs tribute and cover bands to sing them (so they sound as close as possible to the originals), whereas Yankovic tends to spoof Top 40 pop music and sings on his records himself.
His music provides examples of:
- Anti-Christmas Song: Many of his parody Christmas songs.
- Basement-Dweller: "Asshole Son", parody of "Black Hole Sun" by Soundgarden.
- Burger Fool: "Minimum Wage", parody of "Bullet with Butterfly Wings" by Smashing Pumpkins.
- Christmas Light Chaos: In "Twelve Pains of Christmas," the second pain of Christmas is said to be rigging up Christmas lights. The angry man who tries to do this faces several problems: the cord is too short and they have no extension cords, the lights start blinking randomly, a light goes out taking out the whole string and he eventually blows a fuse.[in the last verse] FINE! YOU'RE SO SMART, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!!!
- Crappy Holidays: "Twelve Pains of Christmas" features many different people singing about Christmas-related grievances, such as paying bills, hangovers, whiny kids, facing the in-laws "and finding a Christmas tree".
- The Parody Before Christmas: He wrote the song "A Visit From St. Nicholson" about a man whose home is visited by Jack Nicholson as Santa Claus. Jack pulls up in a limo accompanied by the Los Angeles Lakers ("Now Magic, now Worthy, now Scott, and Kareem! On Cooper, on Rambis, and the rest of the team."), and after he gives out the presents he goes off on a rant about not being appreciated, throws the stockings in the fireplace, and torches the Christmas tree. The narrator thinks ruefully, "An age may unfold ere I fail to regret, that visit from St. Nicholson which I'd sooner forget."
- Parody Commercial: "Manger 6" is a parody of Tom Bodett's radio commercials for the lodging chain Motel 6.