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Music / Anal Cunt

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We're so dumb, we've got nothing new to say
We write the same song 30 times a day
About how you're a cunt or you're dumb or you're gay
But we'll keep writing them anyway
— "You (Fill in the Blank)," official transcript.

Befoe you read: Anal Cunt was an extreme Stealth Parody. Keep in mind that the offensive song titles presented here were largely meant as over-the-top shock humor and not intentionally hateful.

Anal Cunt, also known as AxCx and A.C. for censorship reasons, was an American Grindcore band that formed in Newton, Massachusetts in 1988. The band was known for its frequent lineup changes, ending with Seth Putnam, Tim Morse, and Josh Martin. They built a name for themselves from extremely offensive lyrics and song titles as well as a distinct (and distinctly painful) musical style that took Grindcore well beyond its initial limits. Songs rarely lasted for more than a minute, thus, it was not uncommon for their albums to include 40-50 tracks, but with song titles such as "I Lit Your Baby on Fire," "Recycling Is Gay," "I Sent Concentration Camp Footage to America's Funniest Home Videos", and "Howard Wulkan Is Bald", perhaps brevity was a good thing.

They were also known for being shamelessly tongue-in-cheek, releasing, among other things, an acoustic grindcore single, EPs with increasingly and ridiculously large amounts of songs in them, and a completely insincere acoustic folk album, comically at odds with their entire discography.

The band folded, however, in June of 2011, when Putnam suffered a heart attack and died. He was 43. Seven years later, longtime member Josh Martin also died after accidentally falling off the side of an escalator in the Providence Place mall in Rhode Island.

The gayest tropes on earth:

  • Actually Pretty Funny: Anal Cunt once made a song called "Locking Dropdead in McDonald's", which lampoons hardcore punk band Dropdead's veganism and animal rights advocacy. When the two bands met in person, near an actual McDonald's, Dropdead actually agreed to join in a photo shoot re-enacting the song title.
  • Adoption Diss: They have a track titled “You Look Adopted”.
  • All Gays Are Pedophiles:
    • Played straight with Freddy Mercury (who was bi) in the song "I Made Your Kid Get A.I.D.S. So You Could Watch It Die".
    • Bizarrely inverted in "I Gave NAMBLA Pictures of Your Kid," which was based on Artimus Pyle's actual sex offense charges... against two underaged girls.
  • Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Fairly common:
    (fill in the blank) is dumb
    (fill in the blank) is gay
    (fill in the blank)'s a cunt
    And Tom Pascual is short
  • Asians Eat Pets: Asians are not spared from Putnam's wrath: one of their songs is titled "I Sold Your Dog to a Chinese Restaurant", while "You Own a Store" contains the line "Hide your dogs, hide your cats".
  • Ass Shove: The lyrics to "Pottery Is Gay" features "YOU MADE A CLAY DILDO AND SHOVED IT UP YOUR ASSSSSSS"
  • Badass Boast: "Extreme Noise Terror Are Afraid of Us"
  • Bait-and-Switch: On It Just Gets Worse, "I Sent Concentration Camp Footage to America's Funniest Home Videos," "Body by Auschwitz," and "Hitler Was a Sensitive Man" are followed (if not immediately) by "Into the Oven," which is about... cooking and eating a Thanksgiving turkey.
  • Black Comedy: Their entire discography. Really, the song titles alone speak for themselves.
  • Bowdlerization - Subverted:
    • On multiple recordings, the name is abbreviated to A. C. or AxCx, with the letters drawn to resemble the orifices. This was also the usual way that they were presented on flyers to keep venue owners from forcibly cancelling their shows.
    • When they were forced to censor the lyrics to some songs on It Just Gets Worse's liner notes, they covered them up with the tag anal cunt—FUCKING offensive
  • Careful with That Axe: To the point where you don't even understand what Seth was saying most of the time.
    • On Picnic of Love, the lyrics are clearly enunciated and Seth usually either adopts a comical falsetto or a low croon... but towards the end of closing track "In My Heart There's a Star Named After You", he suddenly reverts to screaming, despite the song's gentle acoustic guitar track.
  • Comedic Sociopathy: The assumed persona on It Just Gets Worse.
  • Comically Missing the Point: The speaker of "I Sent Concentration Camp Footage to America's Funniest Home Videos;" after his submissions get rejected, he mails the show a copy of The Birth of a Nation (1915).
  • Country Matters: Right in the title.
  • Cover Version: They've covered Pantera, Manowar, Black Sabbath, Vaginal Jesus, The Bee Gees, Elton John and "Riverbottom Nightmare Band" from Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas .
  • Credits Gag: On I Like It When You Die, they did this to a couple of the songs they covered. The original writers for the Hungry Hungry Hippos jingle and "Just the Two of Us" are credited as "Some asshole" and "Some fucking retard," respectively.
    • To go with the mock-Lighter and Softer theme of Picnic of Love, Seth Putnam and Josh Martin are credited as "Sensitive" Seth Putnam and "Gentle" Josh Martin.
  • Death of a Child:
    • Used with "I Lit Your Baby on Fire".
    • Also "Your Kid Committed Suicide Because You Suck", originally titled "Conor Clapton Committed Suicide Because His Dad Sucks".
  • Department of Redundancy Department: "Extreme Noise Terror Is Afraid of Us" has this line:
    You’re gay homosexual faggots, plus you’re fucking gay
  • Driven to Suicide: "Your Kid Committed Suicide Because You Suck"
  • Fan Hater: Invoked in "All Our Fans Are Gay".
  • Forced Miscarriage: They have a song titled "You're Pregnant, So I Kicked You in the Stomach", in which the singer, well, narrates the act of kicking a pregnant woman in the stomach to make her have a miscarriage. Why? For the Evulz, that's why.
  • Foregone Conclusion:
  • Grindcore: They were a parody of it by making their songs go up to eleven.
  • Harsh Vocals: Seth was notorious for both his constant screaming and his capacity to sound like he used lye for mouthwash.
  • Heävy Mëtal Ümlaut: On Fuckin' A, the band name is stylized as Anäl Cünt. Some versions exist that feature the accent above the 'n' in 'anal' instead.
  • Indecipherable Lyrics: Most of the band's grindcore output after Top 40 Hits falls under this, despite the band having written actual lyrics for them. For example, the first verse on "I Ate Your Horse" is either "Your dad took out a second mortgage to buy you a horse" or "Yaragabawagabwaryagh," depending on whether you're reading the lyric sheet or listening to the song, respectively.
  • Intentionally Awkward Title: The band's name (which is translated into a Contemptible Logo), as well as most of their songs.
  • In the Style of: For a while, they would turn everything from The Guess Who's "American Woman" to the theme song to Three's Company into grindcore, and there's also the self-explanatory "Stayin' Alive (Oi! Version)".
  • It's Popular, Now It Sucks!: This tendency (that has never really afflicted the band) was made fun of with the song "I'm Not Allowed to Like A.C. Any More Since They Signed to Earache". invoked
  • Meaningful Name: They chose their name because it was "the most offensive, stupid, dumb, etc name possible."
  • Memetic Molester: In-Universe-er, studio: Jim Howell, Freddie Mercury and Artimus Pyle.
  • Metal Scream: 99% of Seth's vocal style is just blood-curdling screams, even when the band started writing song-songs.
  • Miniscule Rocking: The band was built around this trope, but "Tom Arnold" takes it to extremes, clocking in at around 5 seconds.
  • Motor Mouth: More often than not, the lyrics are incomprehensible because Putnam tried cramming so many of them into such a short space (with varying degrees of success).
  • Nobody Loves the Bassist: The band never had one.
  • No Such Thing as Bad Publicity: invoked Putnam mailed copies of Morbid Florist to people who wouldn't like it just to get unfavorable reviews.
  • Real Men Wear Pink: "If You Don't Like the Village People, You're Fucking Gay", with lines like "Jacques Morali wrote the heaviest music ever" and "All death metal songs were ripped off from Village People".
  • Refuge in Audacity: Well, for starters, they go around calling themselves "Anal Cunt". Then you get into their song titles: "I Went Back in Time and Voted for Hitler"; "I Sent Concentration Camp Footage to America's Funniest Home Videos"; "I Became a Counselor So I Could Tell Rape Victims They Asked for It"; "Conor Clapton Committed Suicide Because His Father Sucks" (changed for the record label's fear of being sued to "Your Kid Committed Suicide Because You Suck"), "You're in a Coma" (which became very ironic when Putnam fell into a coma in 2004 as a result of a drug overdose), and "Hitler Was a Sensitive Man".
  • Running Gag - Two throughout "I Like It When You Die:" "(X) Is Gay" and "You (X)/You Are (X)" which culminated near the end of the album in "You (Fill in the Blank)". Yes, that's the actual title.
  • Self-Deprecation
    • The cover of Howard Is Bald has self-caricatures of them, including a fat drunken bucktoothed Seth Putnam.
    • At one point, an audience member during one of their concerts (apparently a drop-in who'd never heard of them before) became furious at their lyrics and accused them of being Nazis. Putnam promptly quipped, "Hey, who complimented us by saying we're a bunch of Nazis?"
    • And of course there's album titles like It Just Gets Worse and Wearing Out Our Welcome and the song "Everyone in Anal Cunt Is Dumb".
    • "You (Fill in the Blank)", which mocks the lyrical arrangements of their songs (read: [subject matter] is gay, [subject matter] is a faggot, [something lethal happens to subject matter]).
    • The first show they did after Seth got out of a coma, while he was still stuck in a wheelchair, opened with "You're in a Coma"
  • Shout-Out: "Dictators Are Cool" alternates between praising actual dictators and praising the members of the band The Dictators:
    Mussolini got pissed on by his people
    Hitler had a Charlie Chaplin mustache
    Dick Manitoba grabbed my sister's tits
    Mark Mendoza was in Twisted Sister
    • Howard Is Bald features a song done in the style of Wesley Willis, who also utilized bizarre and offensive lyrics.
  • Springtime for Hitler: They openly admitted - both in interviews and in their lyrics such as in "I'm Glad Jazz Faggots Don't Like Us Anymore" - that their plan all along was to make the worst, most offensive, juvenile, etc., music possible. They remain one of the most well-known grindcore bands of all time.
  • Stealth Parody: Of grindcore, black metal, and offensive lyrics in general.
  • Straw Feminist: The rape victim described in the song "I Sent a Thank You Card to the Guy Who Raped You" is implied to be this, given it is stated that she attended a Bikini Kill concert prior to the assault and "felt like a strong independent woman".
  • Straw Misogynist: Plenty, but known examples include "You're Pregnant, So I Kicked You in the Stomach"; "I Fucked Your Wife"; "The Only Reason Men Talk to You Is Because They Want to Get Laid, You Stupid Fucking Cunt"; "I Pushed Your Wife in Front of the Subway", and "Women: Nature's Punching Bag".
  • Stylistic Suck: It was all part of the joke.
  • Surprisingly Gentle Album - Picnic of Love. Knowing them, it's of course Played for Laughs.
    • Fuckin' A, a parody album In the Style of Mötley Crüe. The very fact that every song has a recognizable riff makes it surprisingly gentle for them. It even has a power ballad (of sorts) in the form of "I Wish My Dealer Was Open".
    • Outside of albums, there's also "I Just Saw the Gayest Guy on Earth".
    • Howard Is Bald is a very lighthearted poke at a music executive they are friends with named Howard Wulkan. He's bald. There is vulgarity, but it is much more sparing than the other albums. A lot of the songs are covers, except with the lyrics changed to focus on Howard and how bald he is. Really, almost nobody could find it offensive. Howard didn't.
      • It should be noted they were heavily drunk, or hung over, when they made it, and they knew it was a crappy album - they just put on random songs and replaced the lyrics. It also has a tribute to Wesley Willis in the last song.
  • Take That!
    • "Chris Barnes Is a Pussy", written after Chris Barnes (of Six Feet Under and formerly Cannibal Corpse) challenged Seth to a fight but never showed up.
      • Sometimes, their Take Thats are inside jokes between them and the targets. "Anyone Who Likes The Dillinger Escape Plan Is a Faggot", "Howard Wulkan's Bald", "Kyle from Incantation Has a Mustache" and any song with "Mike" or "Mike Mahan" (one of the former guitarists) in the title are playful (for AC) ribs towards the subjects.
    • The song "Locking Drop Dead in McDonald's" refers to influential hardcore punk band Dropdead, whose members are all vegan and part of PETA and the ALF. Anal Cunt did indeed lock them in a McDonald's for a photo shoot.
    • Another example is "Extreme Noise Terror Are Afraid of Us", written after Anal Cunt were kicked off a tour in 1997 by Extreme Noise Terror.
    • "The Word Homophobic is Gay" features the lines "Anti-Homophobe by Brutal Truth / Is a pathetic attempt to be PC / Kevin's obviously not a homophobe / Because he's a fucking faggot!"
      • Speaking of Brutal Truth, It Just Gets Worse features a track titled "B.T./A.C." There are no lyrics; all Seth did was mock Kevin Sharp's vocals.
    • "I'm Glad Jazz Faggots Don't Like Us Anymore" was one of these to the jazz-grind and free jazz fans who apparently thought that Anal Cunt was a completely serious avant-garde act.
    • "Bonus Track #5" is a mockery of Gene Simmons.
  • Those Wacky Nazis: The Nazis were mentioned frequently as an attempt to offend people.
  • Title-Only Chorus: A large portion of their songs - if you can understand the chorus at all.
  • The Unintelligible: The lyrics are often nigh-impossible to discern, thanks to Seth's reptile growl... roar... thing. Yes, that's not just wordless screaming, there are lyrics.
  • Unplugged Version: parodied by their Unplugged EP: Side A is their songs played with un-distorted (but still electric) guitar, Side B is a live performance where their current guitarist played an electric guitar that was literally unplugged, as in not plugged in (and thus not audible).
  • Three Chords and the Truth
  • Villain Protagonist: Many of the speakers in their lyrics are rapists, Nazis, woman beaters, and child murderers.

"SHUT UP!!!"