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Unfocused During Intimacy

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A character is having a sexual or a romantic moment with another character. However, one of them, or neither, may be completely into it.

This may be because:

  • when the two are engaging in sexual intimacy or romantic moments we see them having flashbacks/thoughts of another character. They may even have literally imagined their current partner as that one specific character. If a character suffered personal heartbreak over a relationship of any kind with someone and this trope occurs it can sometimes mean that said character is On the Rebound. It could also mean that they are still holding feelings for that one character, but may be trying to forget them to avoid further pain.
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  • One (or both) of them are thinking of something else. The person may simply be not into sex (at least at the time), or they like something Better Than Sex, or they're thinking of more important matters.

As variants of the trope: Lie Back and Think of England is a women thinking about other things during sex out of boredom, Think Unsexy Thoughts is thinking about something other than sex to delay climax, and the sex-related variant of Wrong Name Outburst is imagining a different partner during sex and calling their name instead.

Compare and contrast Coitus Uninterruptus, where someone nonchalantly multitasks (or deals with incoming matters) during sex.


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Examples:

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    Anime & Manga 
  • Somewhat implied but not confirmed with Griffith in Berserk who is believed by a few people to have some manner of feelings towards his best warrior/friend in his army, Guts. When the latter leaves to find his own dream Griffith immediately seeks out sex with Princess Charlotte to make himself feel better about the loss of Guts, even thinking about only him during sex with her.
  • Black Butler: It is shown that Alois has feelings for his butler Claude and longs for him through his trials. When he has flashbacks to seducing Lord Trancy and being molested by him he reveals how he would think of Claude to help keep his sanity during this. It is really Trancy who thinks the moment is meant to be romantic and sensual, disturbingly, considering Alois is quite young, and he considered Alois's attempt at seduction to be genuine.
  • To further Dio and Jonathans Foe Yay in the first part of Jojos Bizarre Adventure, Dio decides to come on to and take the Sacred First Kiss of Erina who is the beloved of Jonathan. He does this to drive the two away from each other, and get at Jonathan, and Erina understandably can only express how disgusting she thinks Dio is for thinking he could come between them.
  • Outlaw Star: Harry tries to generate a romantic moment between himself and Melfina but she is developing feelings for Gene. Harry picks up on her thinking of Gene and gets jealous.
  • Pandora Hearts: It is implied that Vincent has feelings deeper than brotherly affection for his brother Gil. In chapter 34 Vincent is coming on to Lotti and in the midst of doing so he wonders what kind of expression Gil would have if he found out he's in league with the Baskervilles. He states he would love whatever expression Gil would display. Also, when Vincent is on a date with Ada he thinks about how annoying she is and wonders how Gil would react if he decided to taint her. He thinks about how he wants to see his angry expression and informs Ada that he's jealous of Elliot for having Gil's attention.
  • Peach Girl: Momo is in a Love Triangle with Touji and Kairi. In one scene, Touji gives her the ultimatum of choosing between him or Kairi. In the midst of being kissed or about to have sex with Touji, in the anime and manga respectively, her mind goes to Kairi. Touji notices the tears going down her face and comes to the I Want My Beloved to Be Happy conclusion.
  • Revolutionary Girl Utena has a partial example. There's a sex scene between Akio and Utena in episode 33, confirmed by the shot of her naked shoulder and their hands intertwined on a bed. However, she's fourteen years old and he's way older than her, and then there's the topic of discussion. You won't be thinking of sandwiches the same way again for a good while afterwards. All the more nightmarish when you see her gasping in pain and kanji reading afterwards "Stop it...stop it...stop it...". It's like she's desperately trying to retain her composure and get her mind off of the dubious situation with Akio by talking about what she should make for lunch tomorrow or trying to deflect Akio's attention and ministrations on her by mentioning Anthy and how she needs to leave to make lunch. It also so happens that she and Anthy end up as the Official Couple by the series end, hence her focus on Anthy during the sex scene. Also, more G rated versions arise when we see plenty of guys, like Touga and Akio, get her involved in a romantic scene with them but all she can think of and worry about is Anthy.
  • Vision of Escaflowne: Hitomi is in the middle of a Love Triangle between Van and Allen and when she is having romantic moments with Allen her mind always seems to go back to Van, after she falls for Van of course. She also thinks of her crush on Earth who looks just like Allen when in his presence.
  • Wolf Guy - Wolfen Crest: Haguro and Ryuuko are evil versions. Haguro has a fixation on Inugami to the point of it being a sexual obsession, all which started when the latter bested him in his werewolf form. He wants to beat Inugami down and prove himself the superior beast. To make himself feel powerful he has violent sex with his girlfriend Ryuuko (who lusts after and thinks of Inugami during sex with Haguro) and has an orgasm while screaming Inugami's name. He also rapes the hell out of his male subordinate while, again, thinking about Inugami and how this is a punishment for him. And then there is his raping Aoshika while recording it so that Inugami can see, practically talking to the camera (and, therefore, to Inugami) through the entire thing so that Inugami will come back to him. When he finally gets his hands on Inugami, he mutilates him, starting with two fingers that he eats and gets a boner from doing so because he feels a rush from feeling himself a superior badass to Inugami. He also throws himself on his sword just to be able to hold Inugami close.

    Comic Strip 
  • The Far Side: One cartoon entitled "Duck Sexual Fantasies" shows two chickens in bed, one imagining its partner as a duck.

    Fan Works 
  • The fanfic Discontinuity for Berserk features Griffith seeking out Charlotte as in canon after Guts leaves. He has sex with her while imagining she is Guts and goes as far to tie a strip of cloth around her mouth so her voice does not distract him from his fantasy. He can not escape his depression though as he realizes he is unable to believe he is having sex with Guts and not Charlotte because he knows Guts would never be so submissive and allow him to have sex with him.
  • The Harry Potter fanfiction The Shoebox Project has a G-rated example when Sirius is making out with his hot French girlfriend Sophie but murmurs Remus's name instead. She is very displeased, and immediately responds "That is so funny. I was just thinking the same thing."
  • A variant in The Jetsons fanfic George Jetson: the Competition. Jane is dancing with a man named Geoffrey because she's drunk on champagne. However, when Geoffrey starts dancing sensually, she starts imagining she's dancing with her husband George instead.
  • In the Mob Psycho 100 fanfic Apparitions Gone Awry Serizawa is amazed when Reigen is in the moment when they make love. This is because he's only been with Suzuki before that and Suzuki was always very clinical and detached, not even caring what Serizawa enjoyed.
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    Films — Live-Action 
  • Election: While making love to his wife, high-school teacher Jim McAllister imagines both the faces of his next-door neighbor who he is having an affair with, and Tracy Flick, a student in the school for whom he has an irrational hatred.
  • Gone with the Wind: Scarlett is downright terrified when Rhett calls her out on this:
    Rhett: Don't you suppose I know that you've lain in my arms and pretended I was Ashley Wilkes?
  • In The Notebook Allie is torn on choosing between her fiance Lon, and Noah the man she had a summer long passionate relationship with. She got engaged to Lon as she did fall for him but that was also partially because she thought Noah wasn't interested in her anymore. As it turns out, Noah had sent her love letters every day for a year but her mother intercepted them. The truth comes out and they rekindle their passionate relationship. When Lon finds out he is heartbroken as he loves Allie and wants to be with her. As he explains it to her, he knows she is madly in love with Noah, and that he has to let her go. Lon knows she will never stop thinking about Noah even if she and him did continue with their original plans and get married. Which is what he meant when he told her he doesn't want to have to convince his fiance that she should be with him, and that whatever he does it won't win him her hand.
  • Seeds of Yesterday: Bart beds Melodie shortly after Cindy catches him spying on her while she's at the pool. Later, he visits a brothel and selects a prostitute who resembles Cindy. Even creepier, he takes her from behind, possibly to enable him to continue imagining that it's Cindy he's having sex with.

     Literature 
  • Strawberry Panic!: Shizuma comes on to Nagisa and feels her up. Before she can go further, she suddenly has a flashback to her deceased girlfriend saying her name and stops.
  • A from the Every Day young adult series by David Leviathan is a character that switches from one persons body to the next every day. A falls for a girl named Rhiannon when A is in her boyfriend's body for the day and as A shifts to other bodies following that A has moments of brief romance with people who are in relationships with A's current person's body and thinks of Rhiannon during moments of making out with these people and the like.
  • Vampire Academy:
    • Rose gets half naked with a couple guys and makes out with them. She then develops feelings for Dimitri who she thinks of during these moments of brief intimacy with other men.
    • Lissa cannot stop thinking of Christian when Aaron (who she does not have feelings for) tries to romance her.
  • In Jessica Stevens book Within Reach, Lila has a boyfriend Xan who dies but lives on as a ghost and tries to show Lila she isn't alone, while she struggles to comprehend how her life has changed without him. Six months ago her life was perfect: she was on her way to becoming a professional dancer, her parents were still married, and her boyfriend was alive. But now, with her anorexic tendencies stronger than ever, she must decide between: letting go to be with a boy she doesn't love, or holding on to the unreasonable, yet overpowering, feeling that Xan is still within reach and loves her...and is trying to show her something.
  • Count Lionel Savignac from Reflections of Eterna is exceptionally good at this. While he sleeps around as much as expected from an unmarried noble to keep up appearances, he is uninterested in most women and mentally checks out during sex to think about his political schemes and war plans. Because he is so good at lying, only one woman, Baroness Marianne, has ever realized what he was doing, and when she demanded him to either "be here completely", or to leave, he chose the latter and sent her an expensive gift the next morning — not to get back into her good graces (they have never met afterwards), but as an apology for getting caught.

    Live-Action TV 
  • Awkward.: When having sex with Matty one day, Jenna ends up seeing him as her crush, Collin. She's so startled that she and Matty fall off the bed.
  • In Euphoria, as Nate becomes obsessed with trans girl Jules after seeing a video of his father having sex with her, he forces his girlfriend Maddy to let him take her from behind so that he can imagine that she's Jules.
  • Fargo: The Nygaards' Awful Wedded Life comes to a head in a fight where Pearl tells Lester that she won't face him during sex so she can "imagine a real man" instead.
  • Friends: Chandler once goes out with a woman after she mistakenly calls his appartment, thinking her ex-boyfriend lives there. Chandler thinks their sex was great...until she calls again, to tell said-ex that it was a disaster, and she had to stop herself from calling his name.
  • In Game of Thrones season 1, Cersei says that on their wedding night, Robert had called her Lyanna, the name of Ned's sister who he had been in love with and who died.
  • House: Wilson and House have a bit of Ship Tease throughout the show though it's also hard to tell if it's genuine on House's part due to his snarky teasing of others. However, in the season 7 premiere "Now What?", House and Cuddy had just finished having sex, leading to this humorous exchange which just screams OT3.
    Cuddy: Why didn't you let him in?
    House: You were thinking about Wilson while we were having sex? That's so cool, so was I!

     Music 
  • "Missing You" by Ingrid Michaelson definitely has this.
    He's got his hands in all the right places
    But the wrong face is in front of me
    I close my eyes and see it so clearly
    But you're not here and it's killing me
    And I can feel you through the static
    You're in my head again
    I can't get you out
    I try but you just never move
    I'm in his bed again
    Feeling like a stranger
    When he's kissing me, I'm missing you
    Kissing me, I'm missing you
    He's kissing me, I'm missing you
    Kissing me, I'm missing you
    You lay beside me in my bedroom
    Never made a move but I wanted to
    You sleep and I stared at the ceiling
    Counting my feelings, they were all for you

    Video Games 
  • In Dragon Age: Origins if Logain is selected to do Morrigan's ritual, he says that he'd rather think of his dead wife than her. Rather insulted, she notes that he'd just expressed a desire to have sex with a corpse.

    Visual Novels 
  • School Days has a tragic case. Kotonoha is dating Makoto and is convinced he loves her over Sekai. However, Makoto kind of flip flops between many lovers unbeknownst to her and dances with Sekai at a bonfire dance. Taisuke comes across Kotonoha and says Makoto doesn't consider her his girlfriend anymore. This leaves Kotonoha emotionally vulnerable and then Taisuke approaches her, hugs her intimately, and confesses he loves her while Kotonoha thinks "Makoto..." to herself in despair. Worse still, Taisuke rapes her soon after that and then she finds Makoto dancing with Sekai before she collapses into despair.

    Web Comics 
  • Ménage à 3:
    • When Dillion dresses up as his crushes (Gary) favorite female porn star Amber, Gary imagines himself kissing and having sex with Amber/Dillion.
    • After Matt and his hurt pride over Gary's sexual prowess costs him his girlfriend Kiley, he is genuinely hurt and is shown ordering a guy he is having sex with afterwards to put on a Kiley wig.

    Western Animation 
  • Family Guy shows that even when Lois gives Peter the okay to have sex with someone else (he chooses her mom Babs) to make them even (as she slept with someone too) he can't go through with it and runs to her screaming her name, saying that she's the only one for him.
    • Played for comedy when Peter has sex with a wild animal and cries to him “Why would you not look at me during?”
  • Hey Arnold!: In a G-rated version, Helga considers her true love to be Arnold, after an act of kindness done by him to her. Thus, she pines after and thinks about him all the time even though she also has a few guys pining after her at various points (i.e. Stinky and Brainy).

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