Tom Swifty

aka: Tom Swiftie

A Tom Swifty (alternatively spelled Tom Swiftie) is the use of the attribution of a quotation as a pun on some aspect of the content of the quotation. Less eloquently put, it's a joke where the bit that says who said something and how they said it is a pun on what was said. Even more simply, it's a joke based on the Said Bookism used.

To demonstrate, rather than elaborate, some examples:

Catalogue of Tom Swifties

1. "I might as well be dead," Tom croaked.
2. "Who discovered radium?" asked Marie, curiously.
3. "I've lost the rights to that gold mine," Tom exclaimed.
4. "I unclogged the drain with a vacuum cleaner," Tom said succinctly.
5. "They had to amputate them both at the ankles," Tom said defeatedly.
6. Or similarly: "We have to amputate," Tom said disarmingly.
7. "Word to the wise: don't pet the lions," Tom said offhandedly.
8. "Why is it so dark in here?" Tom said delightedly.
9. "Mush!" Tom said huskily.
10. "I'm coming!" Tom ejaculated.
11. "Me, drown in Egypt? It'll never happen!" exclaimed Tom, deep in denial.
12. "I owe you £20," said Tom, with a score to settle.
13. "I have to alert the town!" Tom cried.
14. "I've dropped my toothpaste," said Tom, Crest-fallen.
15. "We're out of toothpaste," said Tom, Aim-lessly.
16. "I never sharpen pencils," Tom said pointlessly.
17. "There's no air in your tires," Tom said flatly.
18. "I tore up all my Valentines", said Tom halfheartedly.
19. "Now where did I leave the deed to that land?" Tom muttered distractedly.
20. "That river is full of nuclear waste!" Tom said glowingly.
21. "Did anyone see where I left my pants?" Tom asked embarrassedly.
22. "Did you walk right up to the victim and shoot him?" Tom asked, point-blank.
23. "I sure did!" the suspect shot back.
24. "I'm trapped in a penny!" Tom said, incensed.
25. "Oh no, I've become an undead monster!" said Tom, aghast.
26. "I'm trying to read Darwin's Voyage of the Beagle", Tom said doggedly.
27. "Okay, okay; just one more autograph," Tom said resignedly.
28. "Take the prisoner downstairs with you," Tom said condescendingly.
29. "I manufacture table tops," said Tom counterproductively.
30. "My knee keeps twitching," Tom said reflexively.
31. "It's the outside of a tree!" Tom barked.
32. "That looks like it came from the chemistry lab," Tom retorted.
33. "Terpsichore, Erato, Calliope..." Tom mused.
34. "Get into the back of the boat," Tom said sternly.
35. "A triangle has three, a square has four, a pentagon has five," Tom sighed.
36. "You could plant box, or cypress, or maybe holly," Tom hedged.
37. "Nnnn," Tom said forensically.^note Four-"n"s-ically. Geddit?
38. "I make sure to have a diet rich in iron," Tom said ferociously.
39. "I just ate a bunch of lions," said Tom, full of pride.
40. "The Red Sox didn't need the Babe", said Tom, ruthlessly.
41. "This wine's far too dry", Tom said bitterly.
42. "Stop playing with that Freeze Ray", Tom said frostily.
43. "Do I look like a mouse to you?", Tom squeaked.
44. "We've taken over the government!", Tom cooed.
45. "I just inhaled my fishing lure!", said Tom with bated breath.
46. "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn," said Tom rhetorically ^note Gone with the Wind.
47. "No, I won't play Tic-Tac-Toe with you," said Tom crossly.
48. "Stop needling me," said Tom pointedly.
49. "Fearless and Red are among my favorite albums," said Tom Swiftly.
50. "That's the dog star," said Tom seriously.
51. "Pass me a joint," said Tom bluntly.
52. "I can't find the French legation," Tom said disconsolately.
53. "The harbor markers are burning!" Tom yelled flamboyantly.
54. "You got a nice butt, lady," Tom said cheekily.
55. "The mosquitos won't get us in here," Tom said intently.
56. "That martial artist looks a bit glum," Tom said sadly.
57. "What a wonderful side street!", Tom said finally.
58. "I think we should give the robot a masculine or feminine personality.", Tom engendered.
59. "My lamp just went out!" Tom glowered.
60. "Maybe we could try playing dice" Tom hazarded.
61. "Get into this sack of potatoes, Richard", Tom dictated.
62. "Keep the furnace going!", Tom bellowed.
63. "Time to get moving!", Tom said ecstatically.
64. "I'm feeling a bit devilish." Tom said impishly.
65. "I'm going to go play the organ," Tom piped up.
66. "Let's go explore tombs!" Tom said cryptically.
67. "I need to replace my mower", said Tom forlornly.
68. "My favourite music show's on!" cried Tom with abandon.
69. "I'm the plumber," he said with a flush.
70. "I can't believe I tore another pillow!", Tom said, feeling down.
71. "I didn't do my math homework," said Tom, nonplussed.
72. "Talking through this sieve makes me sound weird," Tom strained to say.
73. "I need to revive the cookware", Tom said, deadpan.
74. "I got the bomb to countdown again", Tom refused to say.
75. "Glad I didn't get another text message requesting my credit card info today", Tom said, without context.
76. "I don't know where I put my list of arguments against", Tom said, missing context.
77. "I think Lee acted alone", Tom said, feeling justly attacked.
78. "Leave them to germinate", Tom proceeded.
79. "Well, I thought it was kind of nice being a girl for a while", Tom said dismissively.
80. "The cooking implements were haunted," Tom wrote in cursive.

The name is a reference to the Tom Swift series of books. They did not use the trope much themselves, rather the books and similar children's books of the time (Nancy Drew, The Hardy Boys and other dialogue-heavy pint-sized detective novels) went to great lengths to avoid just repeating plain words like "said" and "tell" over and over again. So they employed many adverbs and alternatives: the Said-Bookism is deservedly its own trope. The Tom Swifty then arose later as an effective way of parodying this style until it became associated strongly with the original series itself.

The exact point at which something is considered a Tom Swifty and not something else varies. Some insist that it only counts as a Tom Swifty when the pun is in the adverb, if the pun is in the verb it is often called a Croaker after the example "I might as well be dead," Tom croaked.

Compare Said Bookism, which is going out of your way to using any word other than "said", even if the word is obscure and out-of-place. Sub-Trope of Purple Prose, which is intrusively ornate prose. See Stealth Pun for when the puns are hidden more covertly.

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Examples:

Contests

• Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest: It's a competition for bad prose, so this trope is kinda enforced. From Kimberly Baer, Woodbridge, VA in 2016, we have these.
  "Nurse, I need more blankets, and my water pitcher is empty, and also my bedside lamp isn't working," Tom said coldly, dryly, and darkly, yet at the same time patiently.
• The New York Times newspaper held a contest for the top Tom Swifties.
• Wizards of the Coast: Mark Rosewater once held a Magic: The Gathering-related Tom Swifty contest. The results can be seen here. They will only make sense if you know the cards they're referencing, though.

Fan Works

• Farce Contact: As a Star Trek: Enterprise parody, it's full of them. For example, Archer says presciently that, "You're the Future Guy!".
• Giggles Bags the Borg: It's a Star Trek: Voyager uber parody of Biggles.
  "That butcher!" said Tom [Paris] cuttingly
  "Stay sharp!" he said pointedly.
  "I've got to stop the engine!" he choked.
  "Looks like a modern work of art," said Tom abstractly.
  "I'm coming!" he ejaculated.
• MRA Trilogy: Occurs throughout the series. Some of them include "devilfully", "whorily", "canadianly", and "lesboly".

Literature

• Archmaester Gyldayn's Histories: In the novella "The Princess and the Queen", there's a line about a Lord Beesbury saying something waspishly.
• Belgarath The Sorcerer: Belgarath recounts a time when he transformed himself into an owl to spy on someone. He just couldn't resist saying that he watched the person "owlishly".
• Birds of America: Here are some from "Community Life", a short story by Lorrie Moore belonging to the collection.
  "This hot dog's awful," she said frankly.
  "She's a real dog," he said cattily.
  "You're only average," he said meanly.
  "I have to go to the hardware store," he said wrenchingly.
  "Would you like a soda," he asked spritely.
• Discworld:
  • The series is littered with them, most captured at The Annotated Pratchett File. Some examples include:
    "Pass me the shellfish," said Tom crabbily.
    "Let's look for another Grail!" Tom requested.
    "I used to be a pilot," Tom explained.
    "I'm into homosexual necrophilia," said Tom in dead earnest.
  • Death has been the object of such puns in The Light Fantastic and Soul Music. In the former, he's just been summoned by the Rite of AshkEnte. He adds, a shade reproachfully, that "[he] was at a party". In the latter, it's used in combination with a Shout-Out to Music with Rocks In —"Thank you", said the grateful Death.
  • Making Money: Charlie is used to deliver a double-barrelled pun (admittedly, the same one, but still). "I'm the backbone of the department," said Charlie, a shade proudly.
• Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: "He's friends with that dog," said Harry grimly. (He's believed said dog to be a dog-shaped death omen called the Grim for most of the book.)
• Mimsy Were the Borogoves: Alice, the one who had inspired author Lewis Carroll, is a single scene character in this story who "thinks parenthetically" (and her thoughts are in parentheses instead of the more usual italics).
• Moby-Dick: "For hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee!", he wailed.
• Schrodinger's Cat Trilogy (Robert Anton Wilson): A whole chapter consists of a long conversation between three investigators told in this style.
• Sleeping Freshmen Never Lie: Much of the plot actually depends on Tom Swifties. As such, there are many scattered throughout the book. They're scattered throughout the book, though they're all made by Scott and other various characters purposefully after learning them in English class and finding them hilarious.

Magazines

• The Boy Scouts of America magazine Boy's Life has these in its jokes section.

Video Games

• Commander Keen: The Loading Screen that appears before every level features messages making a humorous pun on the level's name or nature. For instance, "Keen mucks along the Isle of Tar".

Webcomics

• Touhou Nekokayou: Shenanigans in a Magical Forest has a triple-layered example without any actual dialogue:
  You quickly bring her up to speed, in the manner of Tom Swift.

Websites

• Turkey City Lexicon: An unseemly compulsion to follow the word "said" with a colorful or punny adverb, as in "'We'd better hurry,' Tom said swiftly." An example from Stephen King: "'I'm the plumber,' he said, with a flush." This was a standard mannerism of the old Tom Swift adventure dime-novels. Good dialogue can stand on its own without a clutter of adverbial props. (Not to mention that these little winks are only funny to the pre-pubescent 11-year-olds who comprised most of Tom Swift's core demographic. Anyone more mature—such as a 12-year-old—will give them the groans they deserve.)
• More examples here.
• TV Tropes: The image of Fish-Eye Lens has this quotation: "Recognising a portrait through this much distortion is impossible", said Tom hyperbolically.

Non-Fiction

• Stephen King mentions Swifties in his memoir/manual of style On Writing. "When debating whether or not to make some pernicious dandelion of an adverb part of your dialogue attribution," he remarks, "I suggest you ask yourself if you really want to write the sort of prose that might wind up in a party game."

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