Sophie: The ugly one.
Oh, they already decided. That was quick.
This trope is when a character responds far more quickly to a decision than the viewer or the other characters expect, usually played for comedy. Maybe it's a choice you'd think would be difficult, but the character knows what they want without even having to think about it. Or maybe, even if the choice isn't difficult, you still expect them to take a moment to phrase their response in a polite way, but they instead respond with incredible bluntness. Sometimes characters won't even let someone finish listing the options before automatically making their choice. This response can be shown as good or bad depending on the circumstances and the writer's whim.
Compare Blunt "Yes".
- In GoldenEye, the villain has the Damsel in Distress at gunpoint and says he'll shoot her if Bond doesn't surrender. Bond's response: "Kill her; she means nothing to me." Subverted a few scenes later, when he reveals he was just calling the other's bluff; then parodied later still when their positions are reversed and she says this of him.
- In Hot Chocolate Between Times when Marcus is given 2 years to decide if he wants to trade his soul for Reset Button powers.
- Animorphs has a non-sadistic version when the group is stuck on Leera due to a morph accident, and are being snapped back to Earth one at a time. The Andalite commander needs an infiltration team to enable a continent-destroying bomb, in the dark, in the middle of enemy territory.
Galuit turned to speak to Prince Jake.
"Yes," Prince Jake said.
<You say yes without knowing what I'm asking.>
"Will it save the Leerans? Will it keep them free? And most of all, will it hurt the Yeerks?"
<Yes to all three. Especially the last. If we save Leera it may turn the tide of the war against the Yeerks.>
"Then we'll do it."
Galuit seemed surprised. Maybe even impressed. In private thought-speak he said to me, <I have known worse princes than this one.>
- In Firefly, crime lord Niska captures Mal and Wash. When Zoe tries to ransom them, he tells her that he'll only ransom one, then starts into a monologue, which Zoe immediately interrupts by choosing her husband, then says "I'm sorry, you were going to ask me to choose, right? Would you like to finish?" The look on Niska's face when she cuts him off is priceless.
- And when faced with a hostage situation, Mal puts a bullet in the man's head without breaking stride.
- In an episode of Angel, Wesley's father shows up and turns out to be a bad guy. Even after this revelation, Wesley can't bring himself to shoot his dad. But the instant his father points a gun at Fred, Wes shoots him seven times before he can even finish the threat. It turns out that was just a robot designed to look like Wesley's dad, but Wes didn't know that.
- When Faith takes up a contract on Angel, she offers him a gun to make things interesting; Angel immediately shoots her in the leg. Unfortunately It Works Better with Bullets.
- How I Met Your Mother did the rude variant when Robin found an engagement ring in her champagne and thought Ted was proposing to her. "No. No no no no no. Ted, you cannot do this to me. No! No no no!"
- The gang is discussing whether they'd give up sex or food if they had to. Monica instantly shouts "Sex!" Her boyfriend Chandler can only say "Seriously, answer faster!"
- Phoebe uses the Quick Draw Decision to get at what you really want, even if you don't know you want it. Joey doesn't know whether he wants to take the north or south route to Las Vegas.
Phoebe: Which do you like better, peanut butter or egg whites?
Joey: Peanut butter!
Phoebe: Which would you rather be, a fireman or a swimmer?
Joey: A swimmer!
Phoebe: Who would you rather sleep with, Monica or Rachel?
Joey: Monica. Oh...huh, I always thought it would be Rachel.
Phoebe: No thinking! No thinking! Tie or ascot?
Phoebe: North route or south route?
Joey: North route!
Phoebe: Bam! There you go!
- Joey then tries this with Ross, with disastrous results...mostly because he reused Phoebe's "who would you rather sleep with" question.
- From CLANNAD, when Kyou claims that she hit Tomoya with her bike because slowing down would have worn the tires out:
Tomoya: Tires or me, which is more importa—Kyou: Tires.Tomoya: Her response was about two seconds too early...
- From Homestuck here, uu tries to give Dirk a Sadistic Choice between drawing despicable, sickening porn for him or letting an innocent person die. Dirk agrees to do it before uu can even give him his other option.
uu: DIRK. I WANT YOu TO DRAW ME SOME PORNOGRAPHY.TT: You got it.
- XKCD's Dirty Harry strip features the victim immediately knowing how many shots he fired.
- One Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series episode also uses the rude variant. Yugi asks Tea if she might ever possibly consider going out on a date with him. "Never in a million years. Why?"
- The Simpsons:
- In The Movie, President Arnold Schwarzenegger is given five folders, each one containing a potential response to the Springfield situation. He doesn't even open any of them before picking #3. "I was elected to lead, not to read."
- In an episode where it looks like Homer and Marge might get divorced, the kids are asked to think about which parent they might want to live with. Bart and Lisa both answer "Mom!" before the question has even finished being asked.
- And again, in a Halloween episode, Lisa is selected to come aboard a space ark meant to save the best and brightest. She is told she can only take one of her parents and answers "Mom" before the question is even finished. Homer's response is typically... Homerish...
Homer: Goodbye, Lisa. I want you to remember me just as I am... filled with murderous rage!
- In an episode of Duck Dodgers, Dodgers is given the powers of a Green Lantern. After the other Lanterns are captured, Sinestro offers him a chance to join him. Dodgers agrees so quickly that at first Sinestro doesn't even realize what he said. In fact, he's disappointed that he doesn't get to do the whole "villain seduction speech". Dodgers lets him do it anyway.
- In one of Morty's extracted memories in Rick and Morty, an alien forces Beth to choose one of her children to survive while the other will be killed. Her immediate, no-hesitation response:
Summer! I choose Summer.