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Of Course I'm Not a Virgin

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Everybody Has Lots of Sex is a concept so ubiquitous in modern western media, that the very idea that any character, for any reason, is a virgin is something that comes off as alien and bizarre. As a result of this, when a group of characters is discussing something and the discussion vaguely implies that one character is a virgin, the script will quickly throw in an anecdote or line explaining how the character in question is most definitely not a virgin.

As a narrative device, this sometimes provides for background exposition or a throwaway gag. Just obviously not one where a character explains their virginity. This trope is most common with characters who, given what other information we know about them, would have logical reasons to be a virgin.

Can sometimes come off as rather clunky in the script when used intentionally, along the same lines of Have I Mentioned I Am Sexually Active Today?. This is for the simple reason that most people don't consider their sexual histories as topics that are appropriate to bring up in unrelated conversations. Well, most of the time anyway.

A subtrope of Sex Is Cool. See also Virgin-Shaming. Contrast Unexpected Virgin.


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    Anime and Manga 
  • Eikichi Onizuka of Great Teacher Onizuka (and before that GTO: The Early Years) is a Lovable Sex Maniac, but too awkward to actually have sex, so he's still a virgin by his twenties. Not that he'd ever admit it to anyone but his closest friends (who already know anyway).
  • Inverted in Hellsing. Integra has no qualms admitting that the reason why her blood is so delicious is that she's a virgin. Seras more traditionally subverts this trope — she was clearly uncomfortable when Alucard asked her and in all likelihood only answered honestly because she realized that if she answered dishonestly she probably would have been killed on the spot.
  • Overlord (2012): A side episode featuring Albedo, Shalltear and Aura has Albedo summon a bicorn, a Hellish Horse with two horns. Albedo tries to ride it, but it refuses to move. They look it up in a Monster Compendium to discover that as the Evil Counterpart to the unicorn, only non-virgins can ride it. Cue stunned looks from Aura and Shalltear, and Albedo eventually admits that what with running Nazarick she never has time to go out with men (not that her Mad Love for Ainz would let her do it anyway).

  • In The 40-Year-Old Virgin the main character is exposed as this by trying to tell an obviously fake story about a sexual encounter, especially comparing the woman's breast to a "bag of sand".
  • In Black Swan, when Thomas assumes that Nina's a virgin, she quickly denies it. Whether or not she's telling the truth is left ambiguous, but judging from her Shrinking Violet personality, its probably a lie.
  • Attempted and failed in The Graduate:
    Mrs. Robinson: Benjamin, is this your first time?
    Ben: Is this — what?
    Mrs. Robinson: It is, isn't it? It is your first time.
    Ben: That's a laugh, Mrs. Robinson. That's really a laugh. Ha ha.
    Mrs. Robinson: You can admit that, can't you?
    Ben: Are you kidding?
    Mrs. Robinson: It's nothing to be ashamed of — etc.
  • In the horror film The Hazing, the film ends with one surviving male winning the day, with a girl on each arm. The girls joke that he probably never could have even dreamed of such a thing happening, and throughout the film, he's frequently mocked under the assumption that he's a virgin, as well as geeky and weak. After their final mockery of him at the end, he gets fed up and explains to them that he lost his virginity when he was 15 to his (female) babysitter. She's mentioned twice in the film otherwise, so it's sort of foreshadowing.
  • In Hocus Pocus, Max lights a candle in an old home, which results in three witches coming back to life. Whenever he tries to tell someone, they all ask if he's a virgin, and he usually denies it, except everyone in the town knows that a virgin has to light the candle to get the witches to come back.
  • You Know from Keep Off My Grass! frantically denies all accusations that he's a virgin so women won't think he's desperate and he can get laid for real.
    Jessica: Go away. I have no patience with virgins.
    You Know: Virgin! Jessica, I've told you a hundred times, I've had girls before.
    Jessica: I have no patience with liars either.
  • When the Title Drop for Never Been Kissed happens, the other characters assume that this means what it sounds like: that Josie has never had a serious romantic relationship. Josie explains that "never been kissed" is actually a metaphor for a "real" kiss, which she proceeds to define.
  • In Wedding Crashers, Jeremy seduces and sleeps with Gloria. Afterwards, she tells him she's a virgin, causing him to panic and run, as his "rules" are strictly against anything more permanent than sex. Things don't go the way he wants, and he's forced to spend several days with her and her family. Meanwhile, she basically rapes him (to the point where he needs an ice pack on his groin) and is shown to be an unstable nympho. Eventually, he tries to let her down, by telling her that he understand that him being her first probably has a lot of significance to her. She looks at him like he's crazy and invokes this trope. Nope, not a virgin; she just lied because she thought that all guys wanted to hear that. Suddenly, Jeremy wants nothing more than to be with her.

  • Subverted in Bakemonogatari when Senjogahara accuses Koyomi of being a virgin, which he denies. We later learn that they're both virgins.
  • In Dragon Bones, when Ward is approached by a seductive woman, he recalls how he hasn't been a virgin since his fifteenth year. As he has been Obfuscating Stupidity since he was twelve, and is nineteen at the time, it would be quite logical for him to be a virgin, but apparently he's hot enough to make up for his apparent idiocy. He also found out that he isn't into casual sex because he had some, but other people manage to realize that without having casual sex in the first place, so the Double Standard about men and virginity is actually the most plausible reason for his non-virginity. Or maybe the author felt that there needed to be a good reason for him rejecting the advances of an attractive woman, and a virgin would be too keen on losing his virginity.
  • The Obsidian Trilogy: After meeting up with his exiled sister Idalia, main character Kellen realizes that his unicorn friend Shalkan refuses to make physical contact with her, and has a moment of panic thinking this means she's secretly an evildoer: in this series, that's one of the two kinds of people unicorns won't willingly touch. Both Idalia and Shalkan burst out laughing when he asks, and Idalia explains she's the other kind: she reminds him how she explained her Mageprice for turning into an eagle to escape their home city was to raise a clutch of chicks before she could turn back, which meant mating with a male eagle. (The series leaves open whether she's ever had sex as a human, but she is in love with an elf whom she's refusing to commit to due to the Mayfly–December Romance.)
  • In The Sound and the Fury, Caddy asks her brother Quentin if he's ever had sex. He emphatically replies that he has, but she doesn't believe him.
  • In Super Powereds, Sasha wants to take their relationship to the next level, but Vince is hesitant. She takes it (as well as him generally being reserved) to mean that he's a virgin. He explains that no, he's not, he's just hesitant about serious relationships since his last one didn't turn out well (in fact, the girl he lost his virginity to left him, while he was recovering from a fire).

    Live-Action TV 
  • In Angel the Fang Gang rescues a wizard's daughter from a virgin sacrifice only to find out that she is not a virgin when she proclaims so in a loud affronted tone.
  • The Bisexual: Leila goes home with the male coat-check clerk at the lesbian bar, and then has trouble opening a condom wrapper. She quickly clarifies to him that she isn't a virgin; she's just only ever had sex with women.
  • Castle: In an episode shortly before Castle and Beckett finally have their Relationship Upgrade, Castle is mildly taken aback when she mentions a former lover during a conversation.
    Beckett: Castle, are you actually surprised that I'm not a virgin?
  • Charmed (2018): When they're fighting a demon that specifically targets virgins, Macy offers her own blood as "chum" to draw it out, revealing she's a virgin. Mel and Maggie are quick to clarify that they aren't, with lesbian Mel even taking the time to say that she tried having sex with a man, just to see what it's like (and assure Macy that she's "not missing anything.")
  • In Community, Annie has this when Britta and Shirley assume she's a virgin because Annie has never seen a penis before (it's because her first boyfriend would have sex only in the dark).
  • Doctor Who
    • The Ninth Doctor in the episode "The Doctor Dances".
      The Ninth Doctor: Nine hundred years old, me. I've been around a bit. I think you can assume that at some point I've 'danced'.
    • In "Twice Upon a Time", Bill gets a bit annoyed by the First Doctor's sexist remarks towards her, and calls him out on it. The First Doctor then brags that he's had some experience with "the fairer sex".
      Bill: Me too.
  • Fresh Meat: Kingsley makes up a story about losing his virginity rather than admitting it. Then after his story turns out to be really creepy and he needs to take it back, he still denies it a couple times, less and less convincingly. He also dubbed himself "The Pussy Man" in the very first episode.
  • The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Will consoles Carlton over the fact that he's still a virgin, but staunchly denies being one himself, perhaps a little too strongly. It's never made clear in the show — he gives conflicting stories on when he did lose his virginity (though this could be a Series Continuity Error), and the one time it was explicitly clear that he had sex (having been seduced by a date's mother), whether or not this was his first time is never established.
  • In Friends, the It's a Wonderful Plot episode is set in an Alternate Continuity where Ross never divorced Carol, Rachel married Barry, Joey never lost his job on Days of Our Lives, Chandler quit his boring office job, Phoebe became a stock broker, and Monica stayed fat after high school. In the episode, Monica tells one of her friends that she plans to seduce her new boyfriend for the first time tonight, but it soon becomes apparent that she's still a virgin, though she denies this. Eventually, she and Chandler (who's only slept with one other woman ever) decide to spend the night together.
  • Ghosts (US): Sasappis rather forcefully insists that he's not a virgin, going so far as to say that he'd had sex 43 times before he died. Thorfin later backs this up, saying he'd watched Sasappis having sex.
  • The Golden Girls. When Rose mentions the wonderful sex life she and her late husband had, Blanche scoffs at this, stating that Rose is so prudish that she doesn't even like to talk about sex. Rose shoots back that in her experience, people who constantly talk about sex are actually not having it that much, thus insinuating that Blanche's promiscuity and relentless sexy talk is a facade. Blanche withers under hers and Dorothy's gazes and abruptly shuts up.
  • Herman's Head. Louise is a virgin and gets annoyed when everyone talks about how strange it is.
  • Jay from The Inbetweeners to the point of ridiculousness. He claims to have had sex with more women that he's probably actually met in his entire life. By series 3, these claims get so hilariously ridiculous that they involve copious amounts of Squick.
  • Mad Men:
    Joan: This isn't China. There's no money in virginity.
    Peggy: I'm not a virgin.
    (We know Peggy isn't a virgin, but Joan doesn't.)
  • Modern Family gets into its third season episode "Virgin Territory" when Alex hears her father saying "Haley's aversion" as "Haley's a virgin" and laughs, which is how he learns she's not.
  • Perfect Strangers. Larry teases Balki about his upcoming date, then notices how nervous he is and suddenly realizes, "You're as pure as the driven snow, aren't you?" Balki defensively asks, "Aren't you?" and Larry abruptly shuts up and changes the subject. Neither man confirms it, but their uneasiness and refusal to answer the question strongly implies it.
  • Pushing Daisies: Ned was defensive about his "experience" when questioned about it in "Bitches". He claimed, when Emerson and Chuck asked, to have had girlfriends before Chuck, though it's arguable whether any of those relationships were consummated.
  • On Red Dwarf, Lister and Rimmer are trapped, presumably to Lister's inevitable death on an ice planet, Lister asks Rimmer to tell the story of how he lost his virginity. When Rimmer hesitates, Lister insinuates that he's a virgin and Rimmer relates the anecdote in short order.
  • Sherlock: Sherlock Holmes's protest of "Sex doesn't alarm me" is answered by his brother Mycroft with "How would you know?"
  • Supernatural. In the episode ''Jus in Bello', when they need a virgin sacrifice, Dean assumes that nobody is a virgin.
  • A contemporary commentator in the Weimar Republic bemoaned his society’s ‘loose morals’, saying it would be a profound shame for high school girls at the time if it were discovered that they were virgins.
  • The Young Ones: In Scary the boys think they're dealing with a vampire who is loose in the house. Vyvyan points out he doesn't understand what all the fuss is about because "vampires only attack virgins". Cue very worried looks and hasty denials of being a virgin from the other three.
    Vyvyan: Well, we'll soon find out, won't we? 'Cos the vampire's gonna know. And if anyone gets attacked, then we'll know that he's a sissy... VIRGIN. (beat) Oh God. I hope snogging with SPG counts.

    Newspaper Comics 

    Video Games 
  • In The Longest Journey, if April asks Flipper Burns how he lost his legs, he wants to know first if she is a virgin. If she says she is, he won't believe her and make up a joke answer to her question, whereas if she says she's not, he'll tell a more plausible tale. It's not clear if April really is a virgin (though her personality would make it likely) but the real issue here is that Burns simply can't believe a pretty girl like April would be one.
  • In Quest for Glory V, there is a unicorn head mounted on the wall of the Adventurer's Guild. Looking at it produces the line, "They say that unicorns are only visible to virgins. You pretend you can't see it."
  • Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair:
  • Miu Iruma in Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony is open about her sexual habits and kinks, and is known to make fun of her classmates for being virgins. Amusingly, when she gets the Virgin-Shaming treatment herself, she becomes defensive. This suggests that Miu is nowhere near as slutty as she claims to be, and that she in reality never had sex before.
    Miu: A floorboard that comes loose when you step on it is dangerous! God, it's like I'm the only one here who's staying on the ball!
    Kokichi: You hardly have any experience with balls to say that, Miu.
    Miu: D...don't be stupid... don'tcha know? Me and balls are the best of friends!
  • In Tales of Symphonia the characters come across a unicorn and need to get its horn. When told only a "pure maiden" can approach the unicorn, the adults of the party immediately assume that Sheena, with her cleavage-bearing outfit, would be "unqualified." This is opposed to party member Raine who refuses to approach under the rationale "I'm an adult".

  • In El Goonish Shive, in the midst of several extras coming clean that they are in fact virgins, one extra confirms that he's not a virgin which leads to another extra coming clean that she is not a virgin to her Slut-Shaming friend who then comforts her.
  • In R.U. Screwed, the author states in a chapter 3 extra that, despite his relatively innocent appearance, Sooch is absolutely not a virgin and is actually quite experienced.
  • Shortpacked! — When Amber tells Robin that she had sex with Ethan, Robin assumes (due to her Shrinking Violet personality) that Amber is a virgin and just lying to piss her off. Nope, not only has Amber slept with Ethan, he wasn't even her first.

    Western Animation 
  • The Archer episode "Swiss Miss" has Anka, a 15-year-old German heiress who's constantly trying to get in Archer's pants, much to his distress. It soon becomes clear she's a bratty virgin who's acting out when she compares revving the throttle on a snowmobile to what she does to guys' "Wilhelms."
    Archer: What? No, that's not — oh my God. You've never even seen a Wilhelm!
    Anka: No! I have seen... dozens of Wilhelms! Scores, even!