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Intimate Telecommunications

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"What are you wearing?"

People have sex. People also have phones. Therefore, in longstanding human tradition, people found a way to combine the two.

Generally a comedy trope, this is when characters who aren't close enough to physically touch decide to find a way to make do. It is usually mutual, but occasionally a creepy caller will use this as part of a sexual harassment campaign.

A common variant is the "sex hotline," where customers call a service for this. The provider will be typically be revealed to the audience to be ugly and definitely not wearing the sexy clothing they claim. The common Bathroom Stall Graffiti "For a good time call..." alludes to this, implying that the number is a paid phone sex line.

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"Sexting" is the version for just texting; it is often portrayed negatively as part of New Media Are Evil. "Send nudes" is similar, asking for salacious images to be sent through text. There's also "cybersex" when this is done through the internet, usually with a webcam or (later) video phone.

Usually involves Aroused by Their Voice. Nine Hundred Numbers were most notorious for these types of chat lines (that and Phony Psychics), even though those numbers could be providing any type of service, including completely innocuous ones like weather reports and sports statistics.


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Examples:

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    Anime and Manga 

  • Kaguya-sama: Love Is War: Downplayed. Kaguya and Shirogane spend almost 5 1/2 hours talking on the phone in chapter 170 as they lie in their beds (and the only reason it wasn't longer is because the former isn't used to staying up late and eventually passed out). Nothing sexual actually happens, though it is framed in such a way to make it seem like they're lying next to each other.

    Fan Works 

  • Advice and Trust: Ritsuko and Maya combine this with Mundane Utility by taking advantage of their sysop access to the MAGI to leave flirty messages for each other in the changelog.
  • In the Empath: The Luckiest Smurf story "Smurfette's Evil Mirror", Smurfette makes a comment on how cute Empath looks without his hat on when they call each other on the pocket mirror phone in the middle of the night.
  • White Sheep (RWBY):
    • When Salem calls her husband to tell him their son has a harem (he doesn't), the topic quickly turns to something heated. Mannie, a giant Beowolf who happens to be in the throne room at the time, immediately runs away with his tail tucked between his legs.
    • When Ozpin asks the Jinn of Knowledge what Salem's current plans are, he gets a mix of important and unimportant information. Her last plan, however (which she apparently came up with as Jinn was speaking) is to have phone sex with her husband. Jinn also mentions that one of Salem's daughters overheard these plans, and was horrified.

    Film 
  • American Pie 2: Oz and Heather are trying to have phone sex since the latter is in another country only to be interrupted by a wrong number and then, Stifler eavesdropping.
  • City Slickers 2 has Mitch's wife making a phone sex call right when Mitch and his radio station partners were waiting for an important business call to happen. Mitch dives across the table to intercept the call before it goes any further.
  • For A Good Time Call: Katie works for a phone sex hotline; the plot revolves around her new roommate helping her overhaul her business. And ironically, Katie has never actually had physical sex.
  • The Terminator: Sarah's friend Matt calls the house and Sarah answers, but Matt thinks it's his girlfriend Ginger (who lives with Sarah) and tries to have phone sex with her. Sarah decides to mess with him at first and then seriously asks who this is. Matt, clearly embarrassed politely asks for Ginger, to which Sarah obliges. Then when Ginger is on the phone he repeats the exact same following line in the exact same tone.
    Matt: First I'm gonna rip the buttons of your blouse one by one.

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    Literature 

  • In K C Constantine's detective novel Grievance, the protagonist "Rugs" Carlucci accidentally admits to a woman that he's gradually working himself up to have a relationship with (she wishes he'd get a move on) that he masturbated about her. Her response is to suggest that next time he feels like it, he telephones her so they can do it together.
  • Good Omens: Newt answers the phone for his neighbor Miss Tracy and answers the question "what are you wearing?" entirely truthfully. He stops answering the phone for Miss Tracy after that.

    Live Action TV 

  • iZombie: Liv and Major can't have sex because zombieism is sexually transmitted, so they set up a sexy video chat instead.
  • The Good Fight: The team uses a voice-imitation program tomake a fake conversation of Maia's father having phone sex with Donald Trump. They all dissolve into uncontrollable laughter in short order... and then Mike Pence gets involved.
    Lucca: [overjoyed] Oh, I love fake Mike Pence!
  • Star Trek: Voyager: In the episode "The Disease", Harry Kim and his love interest flirt over the comm signal.
  • The Wire: In season 1, the group of detectives who have wiretaps on the Barksdale drug empire listen in on one member of the gang having phone sex with one of his girlfriends. The detectives are all amused by the cheesy descriptions the two are using and such, but after the phone sex ends the two have a discussion that's actually relevant to the case.

     Music 

  • The video for Aerosmith's "Sweet Emotion" is about two people having phone sex with each other. The guy on one end thinks that the girl on the other end is a hot young woman, but at the end of the video it turns out that it's a homely middle aged woman who is a housewife.
  • Billy Joel's "Sometimes A Fantasy", which is about a guy looking to have a good time through phone sex.
  • "Digital Getdown" by NSync is about a young man in a Long-Distance Relationship with some girl (possibly one he's never actually met in person), and part of that includes cybersex.
  • R. Kelly's "Text Me", which is about sexting.
  • Suzanne Fellini's "Love on the Phone" is about a woman who longs for the touch of her lover, but because of the distance, has to settle for phone sex.
  • Tommy Tutone's "867-5309/Jenny" is about a person calling the titular person on the phone with the titular phone number to have a good time with her.
  • The Village People's "Sex Over The Phone", which is exactly that.

    Video Game 

  • Hitman: Blood Money: Rival assassins Angelina Mason and Raymond Kulinsky are fond of exchanging such communications in their talkie-walkies.
  • Max Payne: A sad example combined with Platonic Prostitution in the second game. After the death of his girlfriend Mona in the first game, Max has taken to calling a phone sex hotline because there's a girl named Mona working there. He just wants to talk to her.

     Web Animation 

  • Helluva Boss: Stolas calls Blitzo and gives him a heavily bleeped out description of what he'd like to do with him. Leading the imp to smash his phone and feed it to his hellhound.

    Webcomics 

  • MegaTokyo: In the backstory, Piro had a cybersex relationship with Miho Tohya. It fell apart when she claimed she was actually a man, and had been screwing with him the whole time. He tried to forget about it, but years later he met her in real life and all the wounds got ripped open again.
  • Sandra and Woo: One storyline revolved around Larisa trying to send a nude pic to her boyfriend for his birthday but accidentally hitting "Send to All'' instead. A glitch involving a third party add-on she had installed caused the pic to be sent to all 60 million users of the app in North America. Not that she cared.

    Web Videos 

    Western Animation 


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