Insatiable Newlyweds

"What a little thing
like a wedding ring can do!
It allows a thrill
when we start to bill and coo
I can squeeze you here
I can squeeze you there
And I'm never told to handle with care
I don't have to stop when I kiss your hand
It's lawful!
Oh, it's grand!"

— Song from One Hour with You (lyrics by Leo Robin)

Alice and Bob have decided to put off Their First Time (which may or may not be the first time for either of them) until they get married. Maybe they believe in waiting until marriage. Maybe it's because they think it'll make their wedding night "extra special". Either way, they wait.

But once the vows are exchanged, the gloves are off (along with everything else), and they proceed to make up for lost time. They spend days in the bedroom (and often other places) and are frequently shown sneaking off for a quickie. Often lampshaded by other characters.

Often prone to waking up the neighbors with their bedroom business, making for much hilarity. This often becomes a short-term Running Gag.

You're much more likely to see this in older or historical works when couples were far more likely to wait until marriage. Most modern-day couples, unless they come from a conservative cultural background, have an active sex life long before tying the knot, and whatever pattern they've established in their relationship is not likely to change after marrying.^note Hell, many married couples even skip making love on their wedding night because by that point they're both exhausted from the day's festivities.

Compare Sickeningly Sweethearts and Make-Out Kids. While neither trope requires marriage, both are used as G-rated versions of this.

No Real Life Examples, Please! noreallife

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Examples:

Advertising

• An ad for Utterly Butterly has a just-married couple eagerly burst into their room, clearly glad to have finally gotten away from the reception. The bride excitedly yanks up her skirt... revealing a tub of Utterly Butterly tied to her leg. The groom then raises a baguette with a suggestive look on his face.
• Another ad subverts this, featuring two parties at a hotel; one family of four and a younger couple apparently on their honeymoon. The new wife frequently pulls her husband away from various activities, causing the older woman to comment "Newlyweds" nostalgically to her husband every time. The subversion comes when it turns out that the ad is for a vaccine against traveller's diarrhea, which the newlywed couple is suffering from, necessitating numerous trips to the bathroom.

Anime & Manga

• In Sachiare, 18-year-old Tomoharu is newly married to 25-year-old Sachiko (although she's so small and cute you can't tell from looking.) Although there's nothing explicit shown, they do get playful with each other, and blushingly reference what's happening when the lights go out.
• While it's not mentioned whether Kaoru and Hajime have sex before their wedding in I Can't Understand What My Husband Is Saying, they get it on with quite a few times afterwards, which results in Kaoru getting pregnant.
• Futari Ecchi features the Kubotas, a young couple recently moving into the building where Makoto and Yura are living. They're really insatiable, barely able to spend time away from each other, once starting to get it on right in the elevator — with their neighbor Makoto riding with them, to his acute embarrassment!
• In Sword Art Online, after surviving an assassination attempt and then getting married in-game to share inventory space, Kirito and Asuna have Their First Time together in the now-deleted Chapter 16.5 with explicit detail. The Sugary Days sidestories continue to cover select events from their honeymoon over the next few days: in 16.6, as the two of them are fantasizing about having a big marriage ceremony after clearing Floor 100, they are both struck with a sense of melancholy when they remember all the players who have died and move to make love again just to take in the fact the other is really there. In 16.8, the two of them are bathing across one another in their log cabin's tub, and as Kirito stretches his legs out to get more comfortable, he ends up accidentally poking and prodding at a sensitive part of her, and it isn't long before they're all over each other again.
• The “Love-Love Game of Half-Life” board game from Gamers! (2015) has several spots where the players who land on it get certain outcomes if their characters are married in-game (e.g. conceiving a child on the honeymoon, paying money after Destructo-Nookie busts the bed). Keita and Aguri’s characters end up getting married and they keep landing on these squares during their turns, resulting in them coming off as this trope within the context of the game’s narrative. Keita’s girlfriend and Aguri’s boyfriend are decidedly not amused.
• Subverted in Rumiko Takahashi's "Wedded Bliss" from her Rumic World collection of short works, in which the newlywed couple is eager to be together so they can fight (which takes the form of yelling and throwing things at each other), and thus defuse the tension on their lives. It's played in much the same way, insofar as the neighbors' reaction to it and their own embarrassment at being discovered, as if they were in fact loudly getting it on.

Comedy

• Discussed and averted in a Ben Elton routine about wedding receptions. Elton's point is that the tradition of no one can leave before the happy couple made sense in the days when this trope could be assumed to be in effect; of course they'd be the first ones to leave. Nowadays, receptions last forever, because the bride would much rather be at the center of a big party than on the honeymoon. "They probably stopped sleeping together months ago!"

Comic Books

• A storyline in the DC Star Trek comics starts with the wedding of two of the crew, who promptly head back to their cabin. Immediately afterward, a telepathic crewmember falls ill and fills the Enterprise with his hallucinations, subjecting everyone on board to a trip through Dante's Inferno...except for the newlyweds. They were too wrapped up in what they were doing to notice.

Fan Works

• The "bonus feature" scenes for the Children of Time finale, the very much M-rated version of the Holmeses' honeymoon. There's a bit of desperation to it, though, as Beth has to return to her own time, they have only one weekend, and they can't know for sure that they'll ever see each other again.
• Implied in the Law & Order: UK fanfic "Choices" that has Matt and Alesha marrying at the conclusion (though they couldn't keep their hands off each other before the wedding either). When she learns that she's pregnant with twins:
  Matt: [to the doctor] "Are you sure there's only two of them?"
  Alesha: "What am I, a rabbit?"
  Matt: "Well, we sure fu---" [Alesha clamps her hand over his mouth]
• Hetalia: Axis Powers fanfic Gankona, Unnachgiebig, Unità: Germany, Italy, and Japan actually didn't do it until they got married after months of dating. Let's just say the Bad Touch Trio announced the end of the waiting period while performing surveillance on the honeymoon ship.
  "The Axis Virgin Trio is no more!"
• In Gold Poisons, Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli are a variation of this, as they're insatiable newly-engaged. Jin Guangyao finds this out the hard way. It actually has in-story consequences when Yanli gets pregnant, forcing them to move the wedding date up to hide that fact.
• In a Doctor Who fanfic called "It's a question of virility", the 11th Doctor and Clara do this in Victorian Yorkshire, although they're only masquerading as a newlywed couple to get into Sweetville (it's set during the episode "The Crimson Horror"), as they determine that the owner of Sweetville is searching for couples who would make babies and keep her society going for more than one generation.
• Luminosity: Edward and Bella break a hotel bed.
• My Hostage, Not Yours: After their wedding in the third story, Zim and Gaz simply can't get enough of each other. Until the actual plot picks up again, every chapter has them either having sex or complaining that they're too busy to have sex.

Films — Live-Action

• Army of the Dead starts with a newlywed couple on a road near Las Vegas. The bride decides to give the husband a blowjob (while he's driving)... and they end up crashing into the convoy transporting Zeus, the Alpha zombie, which causes him to be released. Long story short, the behavior of those insatiable newlyweds unwittingly caused a Zombie Apocalypse...
• Employed in the film version of Barefoot in the Park with the couple not leaving the honeymoon suite for six days as the newspapers pile up around the door.
• In Dances with Wolves, the titular character is nicknamed "the busy bee" by members of the tribe after he marries his new wife.
• "If they don't stop they're going to kill each other." Said in The Four Seasons where the antics of a man and his hot young wife are heard for hours through the thin walls of the sailboat he and his friends are staying on.
• Fifty Shades Freed: In the opening scene, the newlyweds Anastasia and Christian are honeymooning in Paris and they can barely keep their hands off each other.
• Four Weddings and a Funeral: Bernard and Lydia can't get enough of one another from the moment they get romantically involved and become particularly enthusiastic once they've exchanged vows. Bernard confesses that married life is leaving him "exhausted, actually".
• Guest House Paradiso features a couple of hotel guests who aren't seen for days after they check in. When they eventually come downstairs for a meal and the hotel manager works out who they are and asks them what they've been doing all this time, they just look at each other and smile sheepishly, "We're newlyweds".
• The Heartbreak Kid (2007): After the marriage, Lila only thinks about having sex with Eddie all the time, and he finds out in the worst possible way that she's addicted to rough sex and it's particularly painful to him.
• Played for tragedy in Munich when the Israeli hit team is sent to kill a target in a hotel; one of them inadvertently gets into a conversation with the mark who jokes about the insatiable newlyweds in the next room over who never go out because they're always having sex. The newlyweds are therefore nearby when the bomb goes off; due to an error, the charge is too powerful and ends up blinding the wife.
• There's a couple in National Lampoon's European Vacation that keeps showing up. The two are newlyweds and are seen engaged in heavy petting during every appearance.
• Norbit: After the marriage, the movie immediately shows a sex montage involving Norbit and Rasputia... to her pleasure and his horror, as Rasputia is morbidly obese and forces her husband into ridiculous sexual fantasies. She also always jumps on him, breaking the bed and smashing Norbit, who screams in pain.
• The newlywed couple in Rear Window doesn't leave their apartment for days.
• A religious couple in Forgetting Sarah Marshall are DRIPPING with this trope. Well, the wife is raring to go, but the husband is uncomfortable since he doesn't know what to do. After a lesson with Aldous, though, the new couple definitely fulfill this trope.

Jokes

• Three couples (the first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed) went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint. "Can of PAINT?" exclaimed the minister. "Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over." The minister just shook his head and said "Well I'm sorry, but after hearing that I'm afraid I can't allow you into the church." "That's okay," said the man. "We're not allowed back in Home Depot either."
• Comically deconstructed: A newlywed couple has sex all night. At dawn, the exhausted groom, finally catching her asleep, goes to the bathroom and doesn't come back for a long time. The bride finds him there, talking to his penis: "Oh come on, don't be afraid, show up already, she's sleeping."

Literature

• Isaac Asimov's "What If— (1952)": In the "what if" where Norman married Georgette, the "present day" has Norman and Liwy celebrating their recent wedding. He is much more interested in the physical expression of his love compared to the timeline where it has been five years since they married.
• Referenced in the Brother Cadfael novel "The Sanctuary Sparrow"; when asked if she can account for her husband Daniel's movements at night, Margery Aurifaber replies that she can, adding "We are but lately married". Unfortunately for Daniel, there's a witness to prove she's lying.
• In A Brother's Price, this is justified, as sex before marriage is frowned upon. When Jerin's sisters get married, they tell their parents-in-law that their husband looks so well because he's getting so much "exercise", "riding" ... while one of the wives has her hands all over his body. He's a very happy young man, and presumably not only because he's fond of horses.
• Dragonriders of Pern's Masterharper of Pern: Robinton (then a newly-minted journeyman harper) and his new bride, Kasia. When Robinton would seem to sleepwalk through his daily harper duties, his fellow harpers would simply let it go with a wink and a nod.
• The Godfather: In the original novel, Michael and his wife Apollonia's lovemaking is so intense that not only do they have sex every night, it's often not until dawn the next morning that they finally stop from exhaustion.
• Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation: Mo Dao Zu Shi: Just after their marriage, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji has an active sex life to catch up after 20 years of pining, with the latter holds their promise to follow their "Everyday is Everyday" motto. The extras even reveal they usually spend half the night making love in bed, trying out nearly all kinds of positions, and breaking bathtubs in the process.
• Paullina Simons's The Bronze Horseman: Justified because the protagonists are living in the 1940s Soviet Union — thanks to a permanent housing shortage and the lack of privacy in a police state, they've nowhere to resolve their Unresolved Sexual Tension until they get married (after finding a nicely isolated shack out in the woods). Also, the husband has to go back to the front line after his leave is up, so Pre-Climax Climax is also involved.
• The Mermaid: After Levi and Amelia are married, they enter their apartment and don't come out for three days.
• Tales of Kolmar: Lanen and Varien start having sex before they're married, but there was a long period of letting him adjust to being human before they started, and it's after their wedding that they hit their highest... rate.
• In Things Fall Apart, when a guy's late for a morning activity somebody jokes that you can never trust timeliness from someone who recently took a new wife.
• The Twilight Saga's Breaking Dawn: Emmett and Rosalie mention that they "broke a few houses" and that it "took them a decade" to stop.
• In We Can't Rewind, the experienced widower Don and the (formerly) single mother Denise get really, really busy with each other on their wedding night and during their honeymoon. Though they start slowing down later, they don't even let an awfully inconvenient (and irreversible) "Freaky Friday" Flip with their children get in their way for very long, as Denise demands "satisfaction" and Don ultimately decides to keep the peace by giving her what she wants.

Live-Action TV

• The pilot episode of The Love Boat had a pair of newlyweds of whom all you saw was an occasional arm to get the room service. They had 4 or 5 "Do Not Disturb" signs on their door. Their only reason for existence, plot-wise, was that someone's luggage had been placed in their room.
• Sex and the City:
  • Subverted: Charlotte doesn't want to have sex with Trey before they're married so it will be more romantic, but she finds out that he can't get it up and they don't have sex once on their honeymoon.
  • Played with in a later episode where Miranda has her honeymoon with Steve. Out in a remote cabin, the tightly wound Miranda isn't enjoying the fact that "Everything here is screaming 'You should be having sex right now!'". It's only when Steve announces that the honeymoon is over, Miranda finds the pressure lifted and wants to make love again.
• In the series Wings, Joe and Helen had been off-and-on for a while. After finally tying the knot they spend all waking moments of their Honeymoon in their hotel room. It was most obvious when Joe was flat-out turned on at seeing Helen in scuba gear and they made out.
• The Fast Show included as characters a constantly nude and shagging newlywed couple, called The Newlyweds. To elaborate: in one sketch they are at it in bed while removals men are carrying the bed up the garden path to their new home. They barely pause to say 'Hi' to their new neighbour.
• Boy Meets World: In the episode where Shawn turns Feeny's house into a bed and breakfast, one of the guest couples is a pair of honeymooners. They spend all their time in the bedroom and are never seen until the stinger when Feeny has to evict them himself. To his surprise, they're a very elderly couple, giving him hope that there may still be time for romance in his life after all.
• On That '70s Show, Kitty mentions that she and Red waited until after they were married to have sex. And she means right after they were married—they apparently did it in a broom closet between the ceremony and the reception.
• Inverted in Dad's Army when Mainwaring explains why he learned to play the bagpipes:
  I spent my honeymoon in a remote village in Scotland called InverGeechie. It was a wild and lonely place. The nights were long... and there was nothing else to do.
• Game of Thrones has Margaery and Tommen. Margaery brags to her ladies-in-waiting that they went four times in one night and he outright says he wants to do nothing but have sex all day, every day.
• The Nutt House: Reginald has to help a newlywed couple get their door open. As he's jiggling the handle, their clothes are flying past him.
• Full House, surprisingly, had a joke about Becky and Jessie constantly having sex early in their marriage, which led Michelle to ask why they were alone together. An embarrassed Joey lies to her by saying the couple is "doing their taxes."
  Michelle: Are they going to do their taxes every night?
  Joey: For the first couple of months.
• Bridgerton:
  • Simon and Daphne retire to Simon's estate Clyvedon after their wedding and cannot keep their hands off each other. There's a montage of them making love in various spots in the house and around the grounds.
  • The epilogue of the second season is set six months after Anthony and Kate have married, and they're too busy snogging each other to join their family in their favorite game of pall mall. Daphne is understanding.
    Eloise: Away travelling for six months and now they take six hours to come down the stairs!
    Daphne: Ah, six is nothing when you're a newlywed.

Music

• The Garth Brooks song "Two of a Kind, Workin' on a Full House" is about a pair of newlyweds, and has a pretty heapin' helping of innuendos to make it clear they are working very hard to achieve Babies Ever After.
• Say what you will about the Puritans in New England, but they were no prudes: one of them even composed (and performed) a love song for his wedding day, in which he sang oh-so-subtly about how desperately he wished the wedding were over already so he could "come in" to his bride.

Podcasts

• Hello, from the Magic Tavern: A lot of people in Foon seem desperate to have sex right after marriage. The recently-married goblin couple can't stop trying to have sex with each other in front of everybody (though that seems to just be how goblins are), and Chunt was conceived on the dance floor within a few hours of his parents' marriage (just before his father died).

Webcomics

• Nick and Ki from General Protection Fault. Nick thought they should wait for marriage because he's an old-fashioned romantic. Ki thought this was the sweetest thing ever, so went along. Once they got married, they made up for lost time.
• Invoked and Played for Laughs in Kevin & Kell: George and Ophilia literally dash off immediately after being declared married. Lampshaded by Fiona:
  "...And the cliche about racing off to the honeymoon? Check."
• Tipper and Charles from Namir Deiter. They went from "Waiting until they're married (because of an implied fear of physical intimacy on Tipper's part)" to "Sneaking off for a quickie at every opportunity" in the space of their wedding night.
• Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal plays this for laughs in one strip: a man and woman are in bed, and the man comments that while this honeymoon has been great so far, tonight he'd like to try something different. She agrees, sounding a bit nervous—and he promptly goes to sleep.

Web Original

• SCP Foundation: SCP-759 is a magic sourdough starter. Whenever somebody makes a baked good with it, any emotions recently felt by those nearby are infused into the bread and are felt by anyone who eats the resulting product. One test of its capabilities consisted of leaving it under the bed of a newly married employee for one week (whether anyone asked for their permission is unspecified), resulting in a rare example of "[DATA EXPUNGED]" being funnier than going into detail instead of scarier.

Web Videos

• Subverted in The Nostalgia Critic's review of Chipwrecked, which is the Wedding Episode for Hyper Fangirl and Devil Boner. At the end of the episode, Hyper grabs his hand and lovingly says they should go "consummate [their] marriage the way most newlyweds too," which actually means "passing out because they sucked the life out of us." The bride and groom then just drop onto the floor, too exhausted to move.

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