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Fetishized Abuser
aka: Bastard Boyfriend

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Surely, he's happy to be at her feet. And if not, the audience won't care.
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This person is a rapist, torturer, and/or Domestic Abuser who treats their significant other like a slave. Surely, such a character must be a horrible villain who suffers a humiliating defeat by the end of the story?

Unless they are the Fetishized Abuser. Then their abusiveness makes them sexy, and relies on Rule of Sexy.

There may be some differences between male and female Fetishized Abusers. A female Fetishized Abuser is usually a temporary sexual encounter whereas a male one is usually a long-term significant other. A male Fetishized Abuser's victims usually come across as sympathetic, whereas a female one's victims usually come across as deserving of their abuse, due to the naive attitude that real-life abusers can never be female since all men want sex all the time.

Fetishized Abusers can be readily distinguished from being a Jerkass because their abuse is eroticized, and their beloved's conflict and unhappiness will be played for titillation. As such, they are all-but-guaranteed to be Mr. Fanservice or Ms. Fanservice, and the consequences of their behavior are almost never handled realistically. The Fetishized Abuser almost always gets together with whoever they're abusing, even in cases where they don't seem particularly compatible, although a few are doomed to merely be the rival.

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In any variation, if they get called out on their actions, don't be surprised if they pull a Wounded Gazelle Gambit to get "rescued" from their victim.

One type of Romanticized Abuse, and thus a subtrope of Fanservice: Sexual abuse not designed to be sexy and appealing is not this trope.

In many cases, this overlaps with Double Standard: Abuse, Female on Male. Compare and contrast Power Dynamics Kink, Casual Kink and Safe, Sane, and Consensual, for characters who live out BDSM or more generic "sexualized power dynamics" fantasies and show the kind of ethical restraint needed in Real Life. Fictional characters who do not show such restraint are usually not intended to send a message that Bondage Is Bad.

Also compare to Dominatrix, who keeps the "abuse" strictly consensual and in the bedroom. Contrast Domestic Abuse and Unsexy Sadist. May involve a Henpecked Husband, particularly in the Awful Wedded Life Dom Com subgenre. If the unlucky guy somehow survives his break-up with his abuser, she'll become a Psycho Ex-Girlfriend.

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Examples:

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    Anime and Manga 
  • Rumiko Takahashi's earliest rom-com series, Urusei Yatsura, can be best described as "pairing a Bastard Girlfriend with a Bastard Boyfriend". Ataru might be a poor catch, given he's chronically unfaithful... but, on the other hand, Lum not only declared herself as Ataru's fiancee by force, refusing to annul the decision even after the matter was clarified, but is a Psycho Electro who zaps Ataru when she's giving him a happy embrace as well as to punish him for chasing girls, and a Lethal Chef who refuses to accept that her Alien Lunches are dangerous to humans.
  • In subsequent Takahashi rom-com Ranma ½, listing which of Ranma's love interests isn't a Bastard Girlfriend is easy: none of them. Well, alright, maybe Kasumi Tendo, if you consider her viable due to the fact that the Saotome/Tendo engagement never specifies which Tendo has to become Ranma's wife.
    • Akane Tendo is a hypocrite with a blatantly sexist double-standard who beats the tar out of Ranma whenever he does something she doesn't like, has absolutely no faith in him, and refuses to ever trust him, no matter what he does.
    • Shampoo's willingness to resort to violence depends on the medium (the anime version is a lot less physical), but she's always perfectly willing to abuse her cat form to terrorize Ranma either out of anger or, more rarely, to manipulate him into doing something for her. She also acts like a conventional Bastard Girlfriend to Mousse, but that's actually playing with the trope: she is not Mousse's girlfriend, he's her Stalker with a Crush, and she's clearly acting that way deliberately to make him stop chasing her.
    • Ukyo Kuonji is generally the least bastardy of Ranma's would-be girlfriends, though she gets increasingly worse in the manga, but even so she's still willing to both physically beat Ranma and emotionally manipulate him.
    • Kodachi Kuno, on the other hand, is perhaps the worst of the lot, given she thinks that whipping Ranma, feeding him poisoned food, trying to feed him to her giant pet crocodile, blackmailing him, and playing sadistic mind-games with him is a legitimate form of expressing affection.
    • If one considers Kasumi viable, then that means that Nabiki is one of these. She never lays a hand on Ranma, but she takes erotic photos of his female form and distributes them for money without his permission or sharing the profit, loves to manipulate Ranma to show how smart she is, swindles him out of money, and generally makes his life a misery. And that's just as his sister-in-law-to-be; as shown in the storyline when the engagement is temporarily switched over to her, she gets even worse as his fiancee.
  • A serious complaint about Louise Vallière in The Familiar of Zero; even if Saito is lecherous and dimwitted, she's extremely abusive to him, referring to him as being some sort of animal during the early parts of the story (which she never does entirely grow out of), and her usual methodology for punishing him involves either blowing him up, kicking him in the balls, or thrashing him with a riding crop — in one particularly infamous Light Novel exclusive incident, she thrashes him to a bloody mess with a horse whip. It's been noted that the romance between Louise and Saito would never have been stood for if their genders were reversed. Their relationship is made worse with The Reveal that Saito's growing romantic feelings for Louise are genuinely a form of Stockholm Syndrome; part of his status as her Familiar means he is being Mind Raped into wanting to be with her, no matter how shoddily she treats him.
  • Early Haruhi Suzumiya. Using false incrimination as a means of blackmail for exclusively material gains is pretty despicable.
  • Athena of Hayate the Combat Butler used to teach Hayate with kicks to the gut (he complained), when he had to be able to support her for the rest of her life when they were both around 6 years old. Athena is of the ASG variety, who does get better and shows Hidden Depths (in her case, she's a girl driven into almost complete despair for being trapped in a Gilded Cage, and later, is the victim of Demonic Possession). But her haters love to ignore it for the sake of Ship-to-Ship Combat.
  • Haruka Hasegawa from Moyashimon constantly pummels Misato and Kawahama for being slackers or otherwise annoying her. However, while Misato and Kawahama both consider her hot, they're turned off and intimidated by her bad temper.
  • Mio of MM! intentionally plays this role towards Tarou in order to help him deal with his Masochism "problems" (though it doesn't seem to be far from her standard self). Mio physically and verbally abuses him in every way possible as a sort of "Shock Treatment".
  • In Tiger & Bunny, Karina's sponsors like to play her Blue Rose superhero persona up as a sexy dominatrix. Being a relatively normal teenage girl in reality, she's not exactly comfortable with this.
  • Practically the entire plot of Domina no Do!. Hikari, the main female lead, was raised with two very rich parents who are also into BDSM, and who make no effort whatsoever to hide this, even from their young children. This has colored her entire outlook on life — for example, she once offered to let the main male lead kiss her foot to cheer him up, and is flabbergasted when he reacted poorly.
  • In a chapter of the manga Torikago Gakyuu, one of the characters wins a contest to have a date with his favorite model. Except, he's too shy to actually go through with it, so he gets protagonist Mikage to take her out for him while he watches. Mikage gets the surprise of his life when the model puts a collar and leash on him and forces him to walk on all fours and eat from the floor. Turns out, the model isn't actually a Dominatrix; it's just her image. At the end, it's revealed that she was extremely uncomfortable treating Mikage that way.
  • Haganai has both Yozora Mikazuki and Sena Kashiwazaki. In Yozora's case, her tongue is sharp and her flyswatter swift, but she has a good heart buried underneath all of the jerkassery; in Sena's, she truly thinks stepping on someone is a kind of reward since her fanboys approve of it and fails to understand Kodaka's dismay at the idea, though she largely ceases making such offers as time goes on.
  • Yuuma Amano/Raynare in High School D×D, and unlike most other examples, she's not played for laughs. Her actions in the first volume are the main reason that Issei refused to believe that the female members of the Occult Research Club actually really loved him, having gained a fear that they will kill him just like she did for being a bore, and is driven to tears and sobbing upon revealing this to them in Volume 10.
  • Prison School, Meiko Shiraki punishes the boys a lot and provides pretty much most of the fanservice in the series.
  • Kyo in Black Bird (2006): wants to marry female lead Misao, who he has been in love with since they were children, and licks her erotically when she gets attacked by his fellow demons (which is often). Doesn't seem to care that she's not completely on board with either of these ideas. Then she falls in love with him...but the saddest thing is, he's one of the few reliable allies that she has in the whole Tengu vs. humans deal, so if she did fully spurn him, other Tengus would jump at the chance to kill/rape/eat her. Still sucks to be her. In the end, of course, he is willing to do anything (including killing his own brother) to keep her happy and safe at the expense of his own life, and he does show genuine kindness to children.
  • Director Domoto in Butterflies, Flowers (but only when in dictatorial-boss mode).
  • The male leads created by Mayu Shinjo have different degrees of this. The better-known example is Sakuya Ookochi from Sensual Phrase: this is largely because of an incident where his girlfriend Aine Yukimura ended up with a hickey (due to assault from another character); Sakuya, in a fit of jealousy, barged into her class, tore her uniform to reveal the hickey (and her bra strap), then took her home (while class was ongoing) and prepared to rape her. Only when her uniform was almost totally ripped off and the poor girl was weeping hysterically did he stop and realize WTF he was doing. Yeah, he's a Conflicted type with an extremely Dark and Troubled Past (as in, he's a Heroic Bastard Child by Rape, his "father" left him when he learned baby Sakuya wasn't his kid, he was bullied all the time because of his heritage, and his Lady Drunk mom drank herself to death when he was a child) and does get kinda better with time, the "Where Are They Now?" Epilogue shows him as a decent father and husband, if somewhat of a Lovable Sex Maniac when he and Aine are alone, but that's not an excuse.
    • Don't forget Hakuron from Haou Airen. Yeah, he is seriously screwed up after being raised in The Triads and the Tongs, and killed his father among MANY other things, and he does admit to Kurumi that he's fucked up, but that doesn't erase how, the moment he met Kurumi, he tried to keep her from making a noise by threatening to rape her. (And later, well, he does. For three days straight, even.)
    • And then there's both Hanamaki and Gin from Love Celeb, to different degrees. Ironically, Gin's Big Brother Mentor was...Sakuya, another BB.
    • And in Akuma na Eros (Virgin Crisis), the first famous Mayu Shinjo manga, Satan himself becomes one! Oh Miu Sakurai, you lucky little thing, you.
    • Somewhat downplayed in Demon Love Spell. Kagura is still a horndog and some of his attitudes can be pretty questionable, especially in regards to erotic dreams but he's nowhere on the league of Sakuya or Hakuron and his girlfriend Miko is more self-aware than Aine or Kurumi.
  • Several of Shigeta's love interests in Happy Mania.
  • Although not an official couple yet, Seo in Monthly Girls' Nozaki-kun acts like a jerk boyfriend towards Wakamatsu. She harasses him at times, but does care, buys him food, brings him to the cinema, and loves being with him. This inspires Nozaki to create a character who's a Gender Flip of her.
  • Takumi Ichinose from Nana: Abusive, controlling, jealous, neglectful, possessive unfaithful rapist. Regardless Hachi chooses him over Nobu and marries him, though, in a subversion, it's not only about her OMG loving him, but quite more because she's pregnant, he is the father of the child, and she believes that as a popular and rich singer and businessman, he can provide better for both her and the baby and because I Want My Beloved to Be Happy Nobu could be free to pursue his dreams of being a musician which also helps the band Blast succeeding making Nana O. dream come true as well. He's possibly redeemed by The Power of Love as he's afraid that Hachi will one day leave him and admits it to bandmate Ren that if Hachi leaves him, everywhere he goes will be a battlefield and that if he's to go to hell, he'll take everyone else to hell with him as long as Hachi and their children go to heaven. In a flash-forward chapter, he's also seen as a loving father and talking about Hachi to Naomi, how he regrets his actions with Hachi especially during their engagement and marriage & that he hopes that she'll come and live with him after finding Nana O. Takumi exhibits this in several ways and switches between Conflicted and Unconflicted:
    • Once, he came by to see Hachi at her apartment after summer vacation ended despite her breaking up with him, only to discover that she's pregnant and that she had started a relationship with Nobu; he sabotages her happy relationship with Nobu by hijacking her phone, then giving Nobu a confrontational call about Hachi's pregnancy and that he intends to claim the child regardless of who the actual father is. This is all while he locks Hachi out of her room so she couldn't intervene, making it seem that she was still with Takumi during their relationshipnote 
    • Another time, he wanted to have sex with Hachi before he left for work, which she didn't want to do because Nana was in the common area and she didn't want to upset her even further. He raped Hachi anyway, saying that she should be thinking about how he "couldn't stand the thought of another man being inside her" and should focus on making it up to him.
    • Tried isolating her from Nana O. and the Blast members;
    • Cheating on her during their engagement with an actress and later with Reira during their marriage;
    • Being a bastard boyfriend of sorts to Reira as well by stringing her along, keeping her as a mistressnote  and taking full advantage of her old crush on him. He is slightly nicer to her in this circumstance, given that she is an old friend and a key part of his work.
    • Turns out he had a Freudian Excuse from Abusive Parents - his mother was sickly and his father didn't like having a sickly wife so he became an alcoholic - giving Takumi a Darkand Troubled Past.
  • Hijiri from A Portrait Of N And M looks like he's going to be one of these (he intimidates Mitsuru, fondles her hair, and tries to blackmail her into dating him), but gets subverted when it is revealed that he is actually deathly afraid of dogs and wants her to protect him from a rambunctious puppy on his route home.
  • Shoei Jinnai of Desire Climax.
  • One of the "Love Egoist" omakes from the Ouran High School Host Club manga involves a Stepford Smiler high school girl learning that the cute, friendly young male teacher who all her classmates admire is secretly as mean and sarcastic as she was on the inside.
  • Deconstructed with Shoutaro "Shou" Fuwa from Skip Beat!. He treats his childhood friend Kyouko Mogami like crap since she lives at his house after she falls victim to Parental Abandonment and is completely devoted to him...but the moment he openly berates and humiliates her is actually the moment she snaps on him, realizes how much of an asshole he is, and openly swears Revenge.
  • The Devil Does Exist has Takeru, who blackmails Kayano into becoming his servant, sabotages her relationship with the guy she likes, and generally emotionally bullies her in the beginning. He seems to think it's only teasing, but considering how shy and emotional Kayano is, it comes off much harsher. Despite the progression in their relationship, he remains cold and distant, which makes her almost perpetually nervous.
  • Q-Ta Minamitani from Honey Hunt is a Manipulative Bastard towards Yura, is possessive of her, and shows little genuine interest in learning what Yura truly wants.
  • We Were There: Yano has a hard time trusting Nanami completely, displaying jealousy and possessiveness, even to the point of physically abusing her.
  • Dawn of the Arcana: Though they're technically married, Caesar starts off as this towards Nakaba, yanking on her braid and forcing kisses on her in the first chapter. Needless to say, once Caesar begins to genuinely fall for Nakaba, he stops doing these childish and insensitive antics for the most part and treats her gently and with respect.
  • Revolutionary Girl Utena: Just about all of the main male cast with the exception of Miki. This is, of course, played for epic Deconstruction, and also in different ways: Saionji commits typical Domestic Abuse and very much the Conflicted Type, Touga is a Manipulative Bastard version and Unconflicted case, Ruka tries to be the Conflicted Type and mix it with Thanatos Gambit, and finally Akio is what happens when a Fallen Hero completely loses it and becomes the Unconflicted type.
  • Kyota Tsubaki in Kyo Koi O Hajimemasu manipulates girls into falling for him and then dumps them because he can't trust them, humiliates his girlfriend Tsubaki in front of their class, and almost rapes her. He stops doing most of those things after he begins dating Tsubaki and genuinely seems to care for her.
  • Kouta from the one-shot manga Vitamin is like this. He says he loves his girlfriend Sawako and will stick by her, but he forces her into having sex and lies about being with her. Sawako eventually breaks up with him though.
  • Ultimately subverted in Maria Watches Over Us. It looked like Sachiko's arranged fiancè Suguru was heading towards this, but while he tends to be very mean-spirited he nevertheless cares for Sachiko in his own, quiet way, shows gratitude to Yumi for helping his fiancee with her problems, and once even warned Touko of further alienating any prospective friend should she keep up her act pretending to be a jerk. And he's strongly implied to have feelings for someone else... Yumi's brother Yuuki.
  • Kumara-ten from RG Veda is a Conflicted type towards his girlfriend Karara. He was the leader and Sole Survivor of the former beautiful city of Kusumabura; by the time he found and rescued Karara he was so fucked up by his horribly experiences that, despite wanting to rebuild the city so Karara would have a better life, he treated her as few more than a Trophy Wife and Baby Factory. Boy, does he regret it when he loses her...
  • While Prince Kail from Red River (1995) is more of a Crazy Jealous Guy, he can come dangerously close to this when at his worst. There's no doubt that he really loves Yuri but sometimes can be extremely possessive and demanding to the point of once nearly raping her despite her pleas to stop. At least once he has been harshly called out on it.
  • Vampire Knight: Kaname is close to the Conflicted type.
  • The School Days anime is a vicious Deconstruction of this trope and the Harem Genre in general, with the Bastard Boyfriend suffering the sort of realistic consequences of this behavior that most examples gloss over; he drives away most of his friends with his repulsive behavior, accidentally knocks up one of his girlfriends, and pushes both of said girlfriends into mental breakdowns that end with one murdering him in a fit of rage and the other killing her romantic rival in revenge.
  • Ryuichi Asami in the Finder Series (along with many other Ayano Yamane semes): starts off with rape and BDSM, then develops a romantic side. And so Takaba falls in love with him.
  • Nakajima in Gakuen Heaven, in the manga volume that follows his route in the Visual Novel (in the first volume that doesn't follow him at all, there's attempted rape, and he is tremendously rude to Keita throughout, though he points out that if the central love interest does nothing, he'll take Keita for himself). In the anime, he's toned down to a Jerkass, and his sexual harassment is elbow-licking.
  • Yonekuni (crocodile-boy) in Love Pistols volumes 1 and 2: hates men. Nasty to Shirou. Screws Shirou (repeatedly over a two-year period). Doesn't realize it. Jealousy ensues. Shirou, of course, is desperately in love with him.
    • What's really frustrating about it is that Shirou has horribly low self-esteem and doesn't think he deserves Yonekuni. In later volumes, it gets to the point where he actually believes that Yonekuni has graciously accepted his feelings and is simply putting up with his presence.
    • This trope also applies to Seth. You can't really avoid being attributed with this trope when you knocked your lover out, took him to the opposite side of the world into a war zone, shackled him to the bedpost, and then demanded a child from him. The fact that he did it because he loved him and was jealous beyond all reason doesn't change anything. It does, however, explain why it was incredibly stupid and short-sighted of him.
    • From the same series, a Girls Love/Yuri example is in Yonekuni's mother, Makio Madarame (the resident heroic sociopath of this manga). When they first met, she pushed her love interest Karen out of a four-story window, and the only reason Karen survived was because of her madararui nature (and she still broke her legs!). Makio did spend the following months taking her everywhere and caring for her (against Karen's wishes), but still...Even after twenty years together, this trope continues to apply to Makio, as she constantly causes Karen no end of misery from everything from cheating on her to trying to derail Yonekuni or Kunimasa's psychological development or running her prostitution outfit within the vicinity of their restaurant. These last two coincided at one point where she tried to pimp Kunimasa off to the highest bidder...and Karen was NOT happy.
    • Yonekuni's brother, Kunimasa Madarame, is really only slightly better than Yonekuni when it comes to his boyfriend, the main character Norio "Norririn" Enya. Mostly because he's the master of mixed messages to the point where he has Norririn running terrified in fear that he's going to either break up with him or propose to him. Considering that Makio is their mother, both Yonekuni and Kunimasa didn't really have a chance when it came to learning by example of how to maintain a functional relationship.
    • Considering that this is Love Pistols, you have quite a few dysfunctional relationships running around, but special mention has to go to Hiromasa and Shima's. Originally, they were sex friends in high school and split up when Hiromasa's family moved him to a different prefecture, and then wound up working in the same hospital in their mid-twenties, eventually re-starting the sexual relationship they had before. Despite how much he tries to distance himself, Shima is in love with Hiromasa but believes that if he tried to get any closer to him, he'd lose interest and leave him. In a moment of weakness, he uses a conception device that the Madarui use for same-gender reproduction (his thinking is along the lines of "at least he'd have something of him" when they eventually broke up). Consequently, he gets pregnant. Now, here's the bit where it gets creepy. It turns out that Hiromasa has actually been in love with Shima for years, and he came back from Kyoto to work in the same hospital as him for the expressed purpose of getting closer to him. Okay, that's fine, right? Well, here's the thing... Hiromasa noticed the fact that Shima seemed to be able to brush their relationship off like it was nothing, and had, for months, without Shima's knowledge, been using a very powerful conception drug on him in order to get him pregnant so he could tie him to him and stop him from leaving him. When Shima finds out that he's pregnant, despite being shocked beyond all belief, he blames himself, and Hiromasa not only lets him think that it's all his fault, but threatens to abort the child if it's not his. After things have calmed down a bit and Shima's sleeping in his arms, he remarks mildly in an internal monologue how nice it was to have miscalculated the extent of Shima's feelings for him and also how nice it was that he wouldn't have to kill anyone for sleeping with or impregnating him. Ladies and gentlemen, your Bastard Boyfriend incarnate.
  • Genma in Ze volumes 3 and 4: possessive, controlling, and completely eaten up with jealousy at the thought that Himi was his father's lover. He wasn't. Relaxes considerably after he finds this out. Himi has been in love with him since childhood and meekly submits to rape and imprisonment.
  • In the manga of Genshiken, Ogiue draws an explicit yaoi doujinshi starring her clubmate/crush Sasahara as a kichiku seme and clubmate Madarame as his quailing uke. In the anime, this gets expanded to an entire sequence: Youtube. Hilarious, since Sasahara is actually a Nice Guy and a little shy.
  • Yuki from Gravitation is a PG Conflicted type example.
  • Iason and Guy from Ai no Kusabi, but Iason defines this by putting Riki through hell for 3 years to break his pride so he may become submissive to Iason.
  • Kanou from Okane ga Nai is surprisingly a Conflicted type.
  • Souma Saiki from Sakura Gari may be among the most complex examples of a Conflicted Type. He begins via taking Masataka under his wing as a butler/boarding student in his Big Fancy House, then puts the moves on him, then rapes him and gets him to pay a certain debt with sex... and then not only he has a massive emotional meltdown as all the crap he had pulled on Masataka sinks in, but then the audience learns about his massive issues and his even worse Dark and Troubled Past.
  • Swordfish from the yaoi manga Under Grand Hotel.
  • Sawatari Atsushi in the yaoi manga Interval. Despite his initial cruel and heartless behavior for seemingly no reason, he's actually the Conflicted type.
  • Naruse Fuuta in the yaoi manga Cute Devil and its sequel is definitely Unconflicted.
  • Averted and possibly parodied in Kizuna, where seme Kei has the Tall, Dark, and Handsome looks and a Yakuza background that would make him the perfect Unconflicted type... yet his uke, Ranmaru, is a violent Tsundere and can have him very whipped.
  • Gender Flipped (as in, Yuri) example: Himemiya Yukio from Gokujou Drops. She is definitely a Conflicted type. She and the main character, Komari, both get better. Why is this example here? Because if all the residents of Haraiso Yakata are male, the story will be pretty much your standard Boys Love plot. (And yes, Loving Force is in full effect.)
  • Sou Mizuhashi from After School Nightmare.
  • Ayace of Corsair, who has no social grace and unusual ideas about what constitutes consent.
  • Klaus von Wolfstadt of Maiden Rose is a Conflicted type variety: very rough when he sexes up his secret boyfriend Taki Reizen, and completely screwed up due to his past and his currently very difficult position in Taki's land.
  • Some suspect Honma of Boku No Sexual Harassment as being this.
  • Gilbert of Kaze to Ki no Uta can be like this to Serge. He's definitely a conflicted version.
  • Morinaga from The Tyrant Falls in Love starts out as a pretty straightforward Dogged Nice Guy with a five-year crush on his homophobic boss, Tatsumi. Then he decides to prove how much he loves Tatsumi by raping him while he was drunk and drugged, then blackmailing him into regular sex even though Tatsumi's made it abundantly clear that he's straight, uninterested and not enjoying himself at all. What makes it worse is that Tatsumi's homophobia was occasioned by a Near-Rape Experience at the hands of a college professor - which Morinaga knows all about because he was the one who stepped in. Bastard boyfriend? Bastard boyfriend.
  • Parodied in Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro, where Neuro is constantly cruel to Yako for no good reason, and this is supposed to hint towards romantic relations between the two characters, as well as being played for laughs.
  • Light Yagami from Death Note definitely qualifies:
    • The only reason he enters any sort of relationship with Misa is that she has her own Death Note and is wildly, cultishly in love with him. He really doesn't seem to give a crap about her other than that, and, in fact, is as willing to cruelly use her as a pawn as he is any stranger on the street. The only time he (pretends to) show any affection for her is when she's angry at him, or he wants her to do something. If Misa hadn't started with the infatuation, there's no way he would have treated her as anything more than a good lieutenant.
    • His treatment of his other girlfriend/lieutenant, Kiyomi Takada. It's more or less canon that they have had sex at least once, he manipulates her almost as much as he uses Misa as well, and unlike in Misa's case, he callously disposes of her by using a piece of the Death Note to force Takada to burn herself to death as a part of his plan. Right after the girl had not only killed Mello for him but was naked and frightened and trapped inside a truck, actually begging him to help her since she genuinely believes in him, in a horrifyingly cruel move from Light.
  • Izaya from Durarara!! is an interesting take on the concept: he's not anyone's Bastard Boyfriend — he's everyone's bastard boyfriend. Specifically, he insists that he's madly in love with humanity despite (nay, because of) all of its flaws, and demonstrates this "love" by trolling, manipulating, and generally dicking around with just about every person he meets to get the reactions from humanity he loves so much. He even gets possessive and jealous when he encounters something that might upset the balance of this relationship (like, say, a Yandere sword that also insists she's in love with all of humanity).
  • Played with in The Familiar of Zero. Louise's original fiancé Jean-Jacques seems to be a decent guy, and only shows his bad sides after Louise dumps him. He turns out to be a spy for an evil country. He kills Prince Wales and boasts his ambition to Take Over the World.
  • Depraved Bisexual Head from Star Driver is basically a Bastard Boyfriend to everyone he's ever involved with, including (but probably not limited to) Sakana-chan, Shingo, Sora (who he ends up impregnating and fathering Takuto with) and even a bunch of characters he isn't romantically involved with (although in some cases, it's debatable). Of course, being the Manipulative Bastard he is, most of his relationships were just part of his plans. It doesn't help that pretty much everyone mentioned above becomes a Love Martyr for him sooner or later.
  • Deconstructed twice in Bokura no Hentai:
    • The first is Tamura's lover, a senpai that he fell for in middle school. Due to Incompatible Orientation, they aren't a couple, but they do have a sexual relationship. In contrast to other Otokonoko Genre love interests, he does not believe If It's You, It's Okay— He's aloof and abusive towards Tamura, only uses him for sex as long as he crossdresses, says homophobic things about him and shows disgust at what puberty has done to him. By high school, he is a scraggly-looking hikikomori but still has the same Jerkass personality. Eventually Tamura becomes fed up with him, calls him out, and leaves him for good.
    • Tamura himself plays this to Marika (who is a trans girl). Though not her boyfriend, Tamura plays the role; he's portrayed as an overly hormonal boy who tries to coerce her into sex, plays with her emotions, and manipulates her. Pretty much all of his problems go back to sexual abuse he received as a child, which explains why he's so overly sexual and troubled. In the end, Marika is implied to end up with the much nicer Satoshi, while Tamura doesn't end up with anyone. As an adult he's shown to have a lot of one-night stands and generally seems as miserable as ever.
  • Invoked in Horimiya. Hori is something of an Aggressive Submissive, so she actively encourages Miyamura to act this way (much to his confusion).
  • Parodied in The Testament of Sister New Devil. Early into the Master-Servant pact between Basara and Mio, Maria attempts to give Basara advice on how to make himself more likeable to Mio, which boils down to "belittle her and make her unsure of herself so you can control her," which Maria swears she will like. Her proof: an H-Game. Despite the obvious idiocy, Basara plays it as a nice guy only to get a bad ending, then has a much better time picking the Bastard Boyfriend responses. He still doesn't take Maria's advice, regardless.
  • Hideaki Nakajima in Gakuen Heaven. Although this was seriously toned down in the anime, the manga version followed the spirit of the original game more closely.
  • Michio Yuki, MW's Villain Protagonist, torments his lover, Garai, quite extensively. It's debatable whether he's actually in love with Garai, however.
  • And another triumphant example from Osamu Tezuka's Darker and Edgier phase, Dr. Urabe from Ode to Kirihito. He is rather tortured and guilt-ridden about all the raping he did, though.
  • Takehito Koyasu plays these a lot. He played one in the Otome Game Tokimeki Memorial: Girls' Side, and was the first seiyuu for Seishirou Sakurazuka. Parodied on Sgt. Frog with Kururu, which he also voices. Sugou (another of his characters) tries to become this to Asuna from Sword Art Online - Not only does he want her beauty, he's also after her family's wealth. Good thing the hero delivers a more deserving end to him.
  • Ono in Antique Bakery, when in "predatory gay guy" mode. He's quite nice, otherwise.
  • Ryuji from Night Shift Nurses plays this straight.
  • The Student Council President of Haruhi Suzumiya plays one solely to provide Haruhi with an "antagonist" to keep her from being bored. He may have started to become a straighter example.
  • Class President Yuichi Hajitsume from Scandalous Seiryo University is a standard-issue BL example, played for screwball comedy.
  • Ryoki from Hot Gimmick, especially early in the series.
  • Kurt Godel from Negima! seems to be shaping up to be this. His backstory with Ala Rubra and his unrequited love for Princess Arika does nothing to explain his callous cruelty.
  • Satoshi from D.N.Angel is very much like this trope when he's first introduced, although it's later revealed that he has a reason for being cold.
  • Muraki in Descendants of Darkness: A Stalker with a Crush who has a definite thing for Tsuzuki; unfortunately for Tsuzuki, his hobbies include rape, murder, and cutting people up while they're still alive, and Tsuzuki is willing to pull a Taking You with Me to get rid of him (they both survive). He is, however, very pretty and sexy as long as he styles his hair correctly, so there is much Fanfiction where he is this trope instead. Tatsumi certainly looks the part, although, in practice, he is actually a decent person (if having quite the Sugar-and-Ice Personality). And since he cares a lot for Tsuzuki, Tatsumi is most unhappy about Muraki's little fixation with him.
  • Reisi Munakata, the Blue King in K, often evokes this type, particularly in his dealings with Kuroh Yatogami - for example, early in the second season, when he offers Kuroh's clan protection and Kuroh turns him down, and he backs Kuroh against the wall and tells him in a low whisper, "But I thought we had excellent chemistry together." Reisi is actually a good person who cares about others and protects them... but it's easy to miss than and think that he's this type.
  • Another comedic Boys' Love version: Student Council President Azuma from Love Is Like A Hurricane expresses his affection for Mizuki by molesting him relentlessly.
  • Extremely angsty and disturbing Boys' Love version: Wakae from The Night's Dew On Those Lips (published in French as Réminiscences).
  • Ritsu in Loveless proves to be one of these to a young Soubi, sexually abusing him and generally being a dick because Soubi's mother married another man over him.
  • Nawahara Bakurou from the H-Doujin Escape Creator. Every girl that shows up with him ends up being tied, raped, and liking it, and returning for more in the last chapter.
  • Ichinose Takumi from Nana.
  • The final character design of Ogata from Hikaru no Go looks like one of these, especially when wearing the white suit he apparently uses for all formal occasions, and is, at best, a Deadpan Snarker. Since he gets obsessed with the lead's connection to 'Sai', the netgo star who's really a ghost playing through the kid, he also gets pedo vibes, and that's enough for large segments of the fandom to see him as this.
    • He's actually visibly a very proud, deeply socially awkward, and highly selfish geeky guy in his thirties, whose personal life extends to his old sensei and his tropical fish, but as the only living, attractive, fully-adult male in the show, he became a bit of an Mr. Fanservice piece, and the fans invoked this trope.
  • Ah! My Goddess: Toshiyuki Aoshima.
  • Another Boys' Love example is in Kawabata's behavior towards Misaki in Only the Flower Knows. He had a quasi-relationship with Misaki in the past, but left him for a woman - and afterwards, proceeds to call him constantly, interrogate him about any acquaintances he makes, taunt him about his sexuality, and nearly choke him at one point (though accidentally). And then in Chapter 11 he narrowly stops himself from forcing himself on Misaki. And yeah, sure enough, he wears glasses.
  • Subverted with Sweden from Hetalia: Axis Powers, who looks the part but is anything but.
  • Angel Crush: Daniel Thace Peregrine, AKA Cupid.
  • Neon Genesis Evangelion: Gendo Ikari counts in this case, though in the two on-screen relationships we see in him, he treats them both with an extremely cruel indifference rather than outright abuse. Completely averted with his wife Yui, who is The Lost Lenore.
  • Nishiki Nishio from Tokyo Ghoul is set up to seem like one, but actually subverts it. He's introduced as a hostile, snarky Ghoul with Scary Shiny Glasses that attacks Kaneki for simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time. He's next seen making out with a girl in a classroom, and plays it off casually. It's only later that we learn she's actually his human girlfriend, Kimi. While he's rude to even those he considers friends, he's hopelessly devoted to Kimi and would do anything to protect her. When Kaneki helps rescue her, Nishiki makes a Heel–Face Turn and becomes one of his close friends out of gratitude.
  • Mildly invoked by Kyouya in Ouran High School Host Club (as would be expected of a Four Eyes, Zero Soul character who spends his afternoons entertaining young women), particularly in the scene where he tries to persuade Haruhi to be more careful of her own safety by pretending to attempt to rape her. Haruhi is never fooled by this, and as time goes on it becomes increasingly clear that he's really only Stoic Spectacles at most, and any show of cruelty an act he finds useful to keep people from messing with him and his friends.
  • Both Osamu and Shibuya from Bokura no Hentai are deconstructions of this trope. They're handsome glasses-wearing middle school boys. Marika is infatuated with Osamu and Osamu has a crush on his senpai Shibuya, but neither relationships turn out well. Shibuya is a homophobic jerk who bullies Osamu and only wants to interact with him when he's crossdressing and he wants sex. Osamu eventually gets fed up with him and leaves him, not before breaking his glasses and calling him out. Osamu himself has a lot of baggage due to his Dark and Troubled Past. His relationships with Marika (and several of the male characters) are unhealthy and he is too sexual for Marika's comfort. Marika eventually gives up on him and has a Maybe Ever After with the Nice Guy Satoshi.
  • Katsuya Asano from In These Words looks the part but it turns out he's actually the one to receive the sadism, not the one to inflict it.

    Audio Play 
  • The Rejet CD series DEAR VOCALIST features Veronica frontman and lead singer Momochi, who is this trope behind the public eye. Even on a good day, his best behavior towards his girlfriend is berating her and being possessive. Case in point; his RIOT drama features him breaking his girlfriend's smartphone when he thinks she's cheating on him, and burning her with a cigarette and telling her to leave when she tries to defend his bandmates from being called "third rate" behind him...then continues to be mad at her when he can't focus in her absence, giving her a new smartphone on the condition that she never call anyone else but him. There's a lot of Psychological Projection on his part because he's way more unstable and poorer in performance when she isn't there for him, yet he tries to make her think she's the same way.

    Comic Books 
  • In Pondus, Jocke used to have a horrible love-life before he found Camilla. Sometimes, he found a sexy woman instead of the regular flood of Abhorrent Admirers, but he usually ended up getting tortured by her rather than having a good time.
  • Superman: Secret Origin: Subverted, because John Corben wants to think he's Lois's boyfriend, instead coming across as a Stalker with a Crush. He keeps sending her flowers which she immediately throws out, doesn't understand why she does after re-explaining they only went out once, is contemptuous of her career, and thinks he knows what's best for her, and grabs her when starts ignoring him. Thankfully, Lois (and Clark) refuse to accept any of his behavior.
  • While Cheshire wasn't this when she was originally with Roy Harper even though she was still evil, she'd become this to him when they were both in Deathstroke's mock Titans team. Following their daughter's death, Jade began exploiting Roy's emotional deterioration and emotionally blackmailed him into joining Slade's team so they could gang up on Deathstroke and kill him. When she wasn't sleeping with Roy, Jade would frequently call him an idiot and berate him. Thankfully, the faux relationship ended when Roy and a newly revived Jericho destroyed Deathstroke's main plans and the team disbanded, with Jade not wanting anything to do with Roy.
  • Green Arrow: As much as he cares about Black Canary, his actions from his philandering with other women despite how much it hurts her even when they're not a couple or just plain being a brazen fool prone to making terrible choices wreaks havoc on their chance for a happy life. This culminates in Dinah leaving him for good in the aftermath of Cry For Justice.
  • The Outside Circle: Dennis, the boyfriend of Pete and Joey's mother, is a drug addict who sold all of Pete's family's belongings, prseumably for more drug money. When Pete confronts him about it, Dennis slashes him across the face with a knife. Pete's response is to shoot him dead.
  • Paperinik New Adventures: Two pop out in PK2.
    • One is Tyrrel Duckard, a droid from the XXIII century who was in a relationship with Lyla. When he reappears, he's gone crazy because the microcontration stopped time travel and trapped him in a jail where he had infiltrated on a mission. So he escapes and tries to force Lyla to go back to the future using a device that would have erased the whole continuity, and savagely attacks her when she refuses.
      • Tyrrel is this even in the Pikappa reboot, despite the completely different origins. Like Lyla, he was built by a genius in the XIX Century but he went insane and set their mansion on fire, leaving even Lyla (who was trying to save their creator) behind. When he finds her more than a century later, she has lost her memories and he transmits her some fake ones; when she recovers her true memories, she is enraged.
    • The second is Lucas, the former boyfriend of Stella Nice. He forces her to hide him in her house while his gang is fighting a war with another gang to gain control of the streets of Duckburg.
  • Sandman Mystery Theatre: Ray Kessler is the boyfriend of Dian's cousin, and a despicable human being who neglects her, mistreats her in bed, cheats on her, and finally rapes her when she stands up to him.
  • Scott Pilgrim:
    • Gideon Gordon Graves, who is the seventh and final evil ex of Ramona. He is also the leader and founder of the League of Evil Exes, which is created to keep Ramona away from potential future suitors.
    • Scott may have been more of this than he previously thought, due to Gideon tampering with his memories. Especially in the case of Kim, when he beat up her current meek Asian boyfriend in order to go out with her back in high school. Scott is also like this toward Knives, with him dating her for very shallow reasons, then becoming emotionally unavailable for her the moment Ramona skates into his life, and then finally cheating on her and dumping her in a pretty dickish way.
  • Superman: Secret Origin: Subverted, because John Corben wants to think he's Lois's boyfriend, instead coming across as a Stalker with a Crush. He keeps sending her flowers which she immediately throws out, doesn't understand why she does after re-explaining they only went out once, is contemptuous of her career, and thinks he knows what's best for her, and grabs her when starts ignoring him. Thankfully, Lois (and Clark) refuse to accept any of his behavior.
  • Zodiac Starforce: Savi's boyfriend Darren is a total prick who openly fawns over other women while she's right there. She finally breaks up with him in the second issue and starts dating Lily in the fourth, while Darren settles for Alice Waters.

    Fan Works 
  • Yu-Gi-Oh!:
  • Hetalia: Axis Powers:
    • In a Turkey/Ukraine doujinshii, Ottoman Turkey captures Cossack Ukraine (apparently representing the struggles between the Crimean Khanate and the Zaporoszhian Cossacks) after a battle. He then has her stripped naked and delivered to his room, where he rapes her and she ends up loving it. We're supposed to find it romantic.
    • China/England fanwork. There's a Pixiv fanartist who has this as a kink, making Imperial China a Bastard Boyfriend who forces a ukefied England to dress up in imperial lady robes and go through footbinding. [[http://i54.tinypic.com/4h3v9i.jpg
  • Parodied in Gantz Abridged. Kurono wants to be the Bastard Boyfriend of Kishimoto, but he has, as he puts it, landed in the one anime where being an asshole doesn't get you the girl. She instead has a thing for the Dogged Nice Guy.
  • Hans/Elsa Frozen (2013) Fan Vid, Hans & Elsa - Hospital (AU:Broken Relationship), has Hans constantly beating his wife out of jealousy, raping her, and flirting with other women. Despite this Elsa still loves him, we're supposed to feel bad when Hans dies, and the video isn't anti-Hans/Elsa.
  • In A.A. Pessimal's Discworld fic Why and were, new Assassin graduate Ruth N'Kweze falls for a Bastard Boyfriend who is also a wereleopard. By the end of the story, she is very briefly married to him. The "very briefly" part is explained by her becoming a widow, having remembered she is first and foremost an Assassin. They don't call it "Black Widow House" for nothing.
  • Total Drama fanfic Unbreakable Red Silken Thread: Duncan, who is abusive, controlling, manipulative, and demanding, with just enough intelligence, guile, and charm to pull it off for years. Though it's unclear if he was always as bad as he is in the present, a flashback scene early on between Duncan and Gwen shortly after the end of World Tour shows at least the potential for such a mentality.

    Film 
  • In Psycho Beach Party, Chicklet's second personality is one of these, screaming at men for sex, and organises one of them to wear a corset, writes "Ann Bowman was here" in scars on his bum, and spanks him.
  • Judith Snodgrass-Fessbeggler of Saving Silverman is older, taller, smarter than her naive boyfriend (the "Silverman" of the title) and she bullies him into changing all of his personal habits, and makes life hell for his two friends, as well. Through it all, Silverman never stops loving Judith; after the two buddies kidnap her, stash her in a basement, and tell Silverman that she died, he is inconsolable and builds a shrine to her memory.
  • The librarian in Tomcats. The Jerkass protagonist seduces her, believing her to be a frail and naive little woman who he can use for sex (by pretending to care for her and want to become her boyfriend) and then discard. She turns out to be a crazy sadist with no interest whatsoever in playing Safe, Sane, and Consensual. So is her Grandma. When the Jerkass realizes his friend may well be on his way to date her, it's played for laughs that he doesn't warn him. Luckily, the friend is Too Kinky to Torture so it all works out.
  • Gloria in Wedding Crashers has her methods: first, scare the shit out of him by acting crazy, then tie him up against his will and rape him. Of course, he eventually learns to like it, and their relationship seamlessly develops into normal roleplaying.
  • A Woman's Face: The 1941 version, that is. Conrad Veidt's Torsten Barring is a suave and charming bastard and a wannabe murderer, but he's also so hypnotic and attractive Joan Crawford's embittered heroine actually considers murdering a child for him. When she tries to refuse, he lures her in with erotic gestures dripping with sexual sadism. She quivers in a mixture of arousal and revulsion.
  • Haley in Hard Candy pulls off a lot of nonconsensual sexual sadism against Jeff.
When the Jerkass realizes his friend may well be on his way to date her, it's played for laughs that he doesn't warn him. Luckily, the friend is Too Kinky to Torture so it all works out.
  • General Koskov is this to Kara Milovy in James Bond film The Living Daylights. Despite all of his gifts to her, he won't hesitate to use her as a sniper bait and engineer her death.
  • Chasing Amy: Holden eventually becomes this through his relationship with Alyssa due to his insecurities over her promiscuous past. He starts slut-shaming Alyssa for not telling him about her past and making everything all about him regarding this.
  • The Archer: Daniel is physically abusive to his girlfriend Emily, but she still defends him and stays with him. She even refuses to testify against him to help Lauren after she beat him up in self-defense.

    Literature 
  • In Slave World, most female aristocrats qualify with Lady Isobel being the most prominent example. It should be noted that her attitude of cheerfully taking whatever she wants without even wanting the partner to consent is what makes one of the main characters fall in love with her in the first place.
  • Estella of Great Expectations is molded into becoming one by Miss Havisham.
  • Zsadist's mistress in Lover Awakened beats and rapes him (he is the vampire equivalent of a young teen at the time) and permits her other enslaved males to rape him too. She keeps him chained to a pallet in a dungeon holding cell, on his back, ready for 'use' at all times. Then she can't understand why he'd rather starve to death than submit to her.....
  • J.K. Rowling has given us Cormoran Stike's Rich Bitch ex-girlfriend Charlotte Campbell in The Cuckoo's Calling.
  • Night World has Blaise Harman as this to her numerous dates and boyfriends (though it’s usually in the form psychological/emotional abuse rather than physical abuse). They all still find her incredibly hot. In her case it's deconstructed a bit as her treatment of one of her boyfriends led him to have Sanity Slippage, which is depicted as disturbing.
  • See The Complete Writer's Guide to Heroes & Heroines for sort-of Western equivalents, under The Bastard and The Sadist, although those are usually played as villains.
  • The sheik from The Sheik: causing an entire generation of girls to swoon at the thought of being kidnapped and raped by a hot Arabian prince. That Fetish Fuel was the intention is made transparent by the book's final pages, in which, in a fit of conscience, he decides to send her away so he won't hurt her anymore, and the heroine threatens to kill herself. The fact that The Film of the Book starred Rudolph Valentino helped.
  • The Wicked Lovely series has Irial, who is incredibly emotionally abusive to Leslie but is still hot. One reviewer describes their connection as 'Destructive yet seductive'.
    • Don't forget his relationship with Niall in the past, after the whole ultimatum.
    • Part of the dark court's whole nature is based around darkness, seduction, lust, torture, and beautiful destruction. The only important members of the DC who don't fit this trope to an extent are Bananach, who is more a Lady of War - her in-universe nickname is Lady War, after all - Ani, who is a Plucky Girl with dreams of chaos that her court disallows, and Niall, who fights every day to resist the darker side of his nature, although the injustices of the past and Keenan's apparent betrayal in Ink Exchange mean that, by Fragile Eternity, when he rules over these creatures, he is rather more inclined to give in to it.
    • Irial is something of a subversion; he realizes that Leslie is better off without him, and he has spent centuries trying to make it up to Niall.
  • Patch from Hush, Hush emotionally manipulated and sexually harassed Nora. It was later revealed that he was trying to kill her so he could get his wings back. Nora was understandably creeped out but fell for him anyway.
  • Chamberlain Yanagisawa of the Sano Ichiro series is an Unconflicted type after his rise to power, taking out all of the humiliation he suffered to gain said power in the first place on his lovers. This trait is lessened throughout the series as he quickly realizes after his love affair with Hoshina collapses that others are using him to gain power themselves.
  • Nagasawa to Hatsumi in Norwegian Wood. She puts up with him throughout most of the book despite his casual cheating and bad treatment of her.
  • The knight Erlend exhibits this behavior to the teenage girl Kristin in the trilogy Kristin Lavransdatter, set in the Middle Ages. Played straight in the first book, where Kristin falls in love with Erlend, breaks her engagement with her Nice Guy fiance, and defies the will of her father to be with him, all despite his shady past and his none-too-kind treatment of her. Deconstructed in the two later books, set after Erlend and Kristin's marriage, where she has to live with the painful consequences of her decision, all in a highly patriarchal world that offers little support for women.
  • The Phantom of the Opera: Subverted. In the original book by Gaston Leroux, Erik (the titular phantom) would be a deconstruction, if not an Unbuilt Trope IF it was a relationship: Erik is The Grotesque Psychopathic Manchild who terrorizes Christine into marrying him. In the book, the author wants you to think Erik's an admittedly tragic Jerkass and Christine is a saint for feeling compassion along with revulsion and fear for Raoul's fate, BUT the Misaimed Fandom (and many adaptations) want you to think Erik's totally hot and the relationship is deliciously kinky.
  • Although it is somewhat cleaned up in the movie, the woman in The Sheltering Sky was repeatedly raped by two of her Arab captors. Her subsequent behavior was more like shell shock than the movies kind of "once you go whatever ..."
  • Gor. A Gorean master will be one of these toward any slavegirl he cares for. If he isn't one of these at the start, (or falls into the conflicted version of this trope) it will be a subplot that he becomes an example of the unconflicted version at the end, either in general or toward a particular woman whom he'll end up enslaving.
  • In Vampire Academy, Christian seems like he will be this, but he softens. He at first taunts Lissa about her troubles, criticizes Lissa for her treatment of Mia Rinaldi, reveals the secret bastard side of her beloved brother Andre, and accuses her of enslaving the people she compels. He does not mean to harm her, however.
  • Christian Grey from Fifty Shades of Grey may as well be the poster boy of this trope. He frequently comes off as condescending, domineering, predatory, or an outright Jerkass towards Ana. He stalks her (both of them actually use the word "stalking" to describe his behavior), emotionally manipulates her, and is controlling of her to the point where he buys the company where she works after he sees her boss has the hots for her. He gets insanely jealous of any man who pays attention to her. On multiple occasions, he threatens to beat her, gag her, tie her up, or all three if she does something he doesn't like and she admits to feeling intimidated by him. Many readers have pointed out that Christian's behavior can come across as textbook emotional/verbal abuse, and there are at least a few instances where Ana's consent to BDSM practices is debatable. This is generally presented as being incredibly erotic and part of Christian's Sex God Dom persona, or is explained as a being a product of his Dark and Troubled Past which Ana believes she can fix by unconditionally loving him.
  • At some point, the main character in The Golden Feather fantasizes about being this towards his crush. Right in the middle of class, with a NSFW sequence and everything. Keep in mind his crush is 1) male 2) straight 3) the polar opposite of nice, and thus, of course, it all stays a fantasy.

    Live-Action TV 
  • Amanda of the new Nikita, Division's resident Torture Technician.
  • Buffy the Vampire Slayer:
    • Vampire Willow and pretty much every other female vampire who doesn't get staked within an episode is this. (Okay, not Harmony.)
    Vampire Willow: "That's right, puppy, Willow's going to make you bark..."
    • Faith especially, who (at the absolute nadir of her sanity) holds a protesting Xander down in her bed, and seems entirely undecided about whether she's going to rape him, murder him, or both. However, they were never girlfriend-boyfriend.
    • Even Buffy herself with Spike in Season 6. Buffy actually breaks down crying when she discovers she didn't come back wrong, as it means that all the twisted things she's been doing for the past few months can't be blamed on some 'demon' part of her.
      • Spike gives as good as he gets though, given Buffy's the only human he can be violent with at this point without the chip punishing him, so it's less this trope and more Destructive Romance.
      • Spike never hits her first, nor does he physically abuse Buffy, unless it's a clear fight. Buffy beats him a lot, once into a bloody pulp in "Dead Things", and uses him solely for sex despite the fact that he loves her. Spike, on the other hand, uses manipulation and psychological abuse. Both tropes apply.
  • Farscape: Grayza is an interesting case. Her treatment of Crichton is played as a major aversion of Double Standard: Rape, Female on Male.
  • In the season two episode of Titus, Christopher goes to the funeral of his ex-girlfriend, Noelle, who, despite her verbal and physical abuse, he stayed with because "the booty was great".
  • Lila in S2 of Dexter. Completely abuses her position as an addiction sponsor with Dexter and even sets her own apartment on fire when she senses she's losing his attention in favour of Rita and the kids. Acts the doe-eyed damsel in distress when it suits her, but turns violent when thwarted, and is definitely the aggressor in any sexual relationships she indulges in. After Dexter leaves her, she engages in rough sex with Angel, dopes herself with Rohypnol, and files rape charges, telling Dexter she'll drop the charges if he takes her back.
  • In Doctor Who: Rose is forced into the role when she gets possessed by Lady Cassandra in New Earth. While graceful, Cassandra is much more aggressive than Rose when it comes to telling The Doctor what to do and likes to show off her sex-appeal. Since she is a high-class lady and Rose is a working class heroine, they fit the "sexy lady" and "sexy bitch" versions simultaneously due to being merged together in New Earth.
  • The Evil Queen in Once Upon a Time: after finding out he let Snow White live, she strips the Huntsman of his free will and keeps him as a Sex Slave, promising to kill him if he ever tries to escape.
  • Katherine Pierce from The Vampire Diaries fulfills this to Stefan in the 1860s.
  • Long-running soap opera Coronation Street gives us the relationship between hapless gentle nice guy Tyrone Dobbs, and the megabitch from Hell Kirsty. Even deep into the pregnancy she routinely beat him up (Kirsty is an ex-policewoman so it can be taken as read she knows how to deliver a deniable beating to a suspect). She has smashed up his mementos of his loved foster-parents, forced him out of a job he loves, has repeatedly smashed a big heavy door into his head, and goes psycho at any perceived or imagined infidelity.here, the ex-policewoman refreshes her delivering-a-beating-to-a-suspect-with-a-truncheon skills. In the eyes of the world, however, she is the perfect wife and mother...
  • Almost Live! had a recurring skit starring Tracey Conway as "The Worst Girlfriend in the World."
  • On 'Allo 'Allo!, Private Helga Geerhart is seen standing in a corner like a small child receiving a "time out." Quoth her fiancé Herr Flick:
    "Let this be a lesson to you. That is the last time you burn my toast!"
  • As much as it was shown to be an abusive relationship, Buffy the Vampire Slayer's relationship with Spike had definite elements of this. Spike's frequent semi-nude scenes certainly weren't there to cause disgust in the audience.
    • In "Never Leave Me", Spike suggests that Buffy deliberately seeks out such men. "We both know it's not love. You like men who hurt you. You need the pain we cause you. You need the hate. You need it to do your job, to be the Slayer."
  • Parodied in Saturday Night Live in one of the "Gap Girls" sketches. Everyone is asking David Spade's character if she's still dating "That A-Hole Paul." Among Paul's list of crimes includes the fact that he owes her $6000, and when she reminded him he punched her in the neck. Four days later, Spade's character mentions breaking up with him after finding out he was seeing another girl.
  • In the Black Mirror episode "USS Callister", Robert Daly's character "Captain Daly", as scripted by Robert Daly himself, engages in abusive behavior that only adds to his great charisma and gives this wholesome captain a much-needed bad-boy streak (the rest of the staff tends to see the Captain Daly character in the quite opposite light).
  • The Vampire Diaries: W Damon shown mind-whammying girls (especially Caroline) into sex, drinking their blood, and then making them forget it. Including a group of college girls, in a scene meant to highlight his own angst. In the second season, he starts "dating" Andie, heavily and repeatedly compelling her and feeding on her. One time she goes off-script when he's in a bad mood he attacks and threatens her, so even if you ignore all the supernatural aspects, he commits Domestic Abuse. No one appears to care about all this in the slightest. And when she dies, the show has the audacity to play it as a source of angst for him, despite her obviously being every bit as much his own victim as Stefan's. This guy is one-third of the show's main love triangle.

    Music 
  • In the song "Poison" by Alice Cooper, the protagonist perceives his Love Interest as being this trope.
    Your cruel device
    Your blood, like ice
    One look could kill
    My pain, your thrill

    I want to love you but I better not touch (Don't touch)
    I want to hold you but my senses tell me to stop
    I want to kiss you but I want it too much (Too much)
    I want to taste you but your lips are venomous poison
  • Played for laughs in Tom Lehrer's songs "The Masochism Tango" and "She's My Girl" on his album An Evening Wasted with Tom Lehrer. "The Masochism Tango" is about an Abusively Sexy Lady, while "She's My Girl" is a gender-flipped parody of the more traditional kind of Bastard Boyfriend love song.
  • The music video for Maroon 5's "Misery," appears to start as this and gets progressively worse for innocent bystanders.
  • Miserable describes a woman like this, if the line "You make me completely Miserable" is anything to go by.
  • Goldie Lookin Chain song Your Missus Is A Nutter. The girl in the song apparently likes getting into fights with police officers and putting them in headlocks.
  • The Offspring:
    • "Self Esteem" by plays the trope for laughs, with the singer completely aware that his girlfriend is awful but being too much of an insecure loser to leave her.
    • Invoked in "Want You Bad", where the protagonist wishes his girlfriend was more of a "bad girl" who mistreats him in a sexy way.
  • "Hair of the Dog" by Nazereth is about one of these who has fallen for her male counterpart (hence the line "Now you're messing with a son of a bitch").
  • The lyrics of the song "El duelo" by Chilean group La Ley seem to be written from the POV of a Bastard Boyfriend.
  • "Under My Thumb" by The Rolling Stones comes off as a celebration of this, highlighted in its use in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.
  • "Bad Enough For You" by All Time Low fits this stereotype (on the surface at least) so exactly that it could be used as the title trope. However, it's also an inversion as the narrator states that he'd rather be a nice guy and treat his love interest well but knows the only way she'll fall for him is if he is bad enough for her.
  • Judas by Lady Gaga could be interpreted as this and coming from the love interest's POV.
  • Romantic Cheapskate V2.0 by MC Frontalot is about a guy who delights in stringing a girl along with a minimal amount of commitment on his part. This character is particularly proud of the fact he has never spent any money on his girlfriend, instead resorting to petty theft for gifts, or sticking his girlfriend with the bill.
  • "The One I Love" by R.E.M. displays shades of this, referring to the one the singer loves as merely being a "prop to occupy [his] time" and the implication by the slight variation of lyrics in the last verse being that he moves from girl to girl easily and with little care for how he treats each one.
  • This Yandere Simulator animatic/music video, set to the Kikuo Vocaloid song "You're a Useless Child", portrays Nemesis-kun as an abusive boyfriend to Ayano/Yandere-chan who constantly tells her that she's worthless, stupid and that no one will ever care about her except him, but he'll love and protect her forever.
  • Eminem often portrays Slim as one in later career songs imagining him as a romantic lead, particularly on Recovery. A few obvious examples are "So Bad", "Seduction" and "Won't Back Down", all of which present him as an abusive boyfriend to the rap game or to his audience.
  • Vocaloid's Kagamine Len gets portrayed as such with the PVs for his song "SPICE!", where he's portrayed as a womanizer slowly growing obsessed over the one girl who won'the return his advances and attempts to sexually assault her in her sleep before realizing that he's gone too far.
  • Kasane Ted, Teto Kasane's male genderbend, is this to such an extent that he has a BDSM parody song of Meltdown.
  • Adam Levine played one of these in the video for Maroon 5's "Animals", his character being a worker at a butcher shop who stalks a pretty customer (played by supermodel and Levine's real-life wife Behati Prinsloo) and later hooks up with her and is implied to kill her at the end. The latter bit turns out to be All Just a Dream on his part, though.

    Music Videos 

    Tabletop Games 
  • Drow society in Dungeons & Dragons runs on this trope. The race is comprised completely of sadists, but women rule. Women of noble houses have the right to take any man they want — consent doesn't enter into the equation. Men can be put to death for refusing advances.

    Video Games 
  • Juri Han from Street Fighter IV. Sexy, fearless, powerful, Ax-Crazy, ambitious, smart, and very domineering towards people of both genders. One of her ultras even has her briefly stopping the brutal Curb-Stomp Battle she's giving to her victim, to sensually caress his/her face (while upside down), before finishing them off.
  • Iris Heart in Hyperdimension Neptunia Victory. Let's just say she loooooooves abusing enemies (and her allies) a bit too much. In her first scene, Iris Heart gets a protracted Establishing Character Moment when she put her own allies through an extended S&M begging routine (not even a case of Does This Remind You of Anything?, that's exactly what it is) before handing over the artifacts that will save everyone's lives.
  • Jack is one of the romance options in Mass Effect 2, and completely different from any other in the series, if not any BioWare game. Unlike Ash, Liara, Tali, Kelly or any way you can play Fem!Shep, Jack is a Jerkass, especially if you're male (and thus eligible to romance her.) A casual sex scene is available early on, and going for it will stop the romance cold and eliminate any further character development. Try and show that you're caring and she becomes even more of a bitch in an effort to drive you away. She has an excuse for her bad attitude - torturous lab experimentation from when she was an infant, including conditioning to find violence pleasurable, and frequent sexual assaults, betrayals, and imprisonment - but the player could be forgiven in assuming that she needs a counsellor rather than a romantic relationship.
    • One of the bigger complaints after the game's release was that the only way to follow-through on helping Jack was to romance her - otherwise there's not much in the way of closure within Mass Effect 2.
  • Eldoth to Skie in Baldur's Gate. He's a blatantly sleazy, chauvinistic Jerkass who embodies the selfish nature of his Neutral Evil alignment. The only reason he elopes with Skie is so that he can blackmail her father by claiming he kidnapped her. He is only able to get away with this because Skie is just that naive and foolish and thinks he is romantic.
  • Peter, a minor character in Resident Evil 6 that's only with you for a short part of a level, shows himself to be this. He seems to be a bit of a sociopath, and breaks the number one rule of surviving in a zombie apocalypse: stay together. He runs out into the street (away from the gun store that he and the other survivors (including Leon and Helena) had found shelter in) after stealing his girlfriend's gun and unsurprisingly gets killed by a zombie. Helena at least calls him out on repeatedly insisting the group abandon his girlfriend, though she's still upset when he dies.
  • In Yandere Simulator, it's implied that Osana Najimi just ended a relationship with one of these. He's angry about it, as he threatens to hurt Senpai (possibly also her) if she won't come back to him.

    Visual Novels 
  • The love/hate routes of the otome game Under the Moon plays off this trope. The love interests begin the game on the fence about how to treat the heroine. The player's choices push them in one of two directions: towards "pure love" routes or "love/hate" routes. "Pure love" is Exactly What It Says on the Tin. In "love/hate", on the other hand, the guys give in to "romantic" abuse inclinations that generally include rape.
  • Nakajima in Gakuen Heaven, in his route.
  • Out of Aoba's love interests in DRAMAtical Murder, Mink fits in perfectly. His introduction features him kidnapping the protagonist Aoba to be gang-raped in front of him (something that's just barely averted by Aoba's Superpowered Evil Side showing up) and his actual route involves him treating a ukefied Aoba like dirt and coercing him into doing various things he doesn't want to do including, yes, rape. It turns out he's a Conflicted Type with a MASSIVE Freudian Excuse, and in the sequel Re:Connect he shows remorse for having treated Aoba the way he did.
  • Naked Butler takes this trope to extremes. In a nutshell, the game revels in this trope so much that it goes so far as to invert Video Game Cruelty Punishment by punishing the player with a Bad End if they have Tomoaki act too nice to his love interests. Yes, in order to get the "Good/True Ends" in this game, you have to have Tomoaki act like a complete asshole and inflict truly horrible abuse on his preferred butler until said butler essentially becomes a Stockholm Syndrome-induced Love Martyr to him. Oh, and it's implied that the bastard has a Split Personality.
  • Nameless has Lance begin to show some shades of this, if his route is pursued. He begins to tease Eri in a way that is different from Yuri's and flat out insults her, though it's presented as part of his Defrosting Ice Prince routine.
  • Majima Tarou, a bonus character for Tokimeki Memorial Girl's Side. Basically everything he does involves being a narcissistic, self-absorbed, emotionally flip-floppy Jerkass who torments the protagonist, demands that she do ridiculous things for her, yells at her when he does, and all-around acts abusive to the poor Love Martyr protag who spends a lot of the time in tears.
  • Shiki from Togainu no Chi is the Unconflicted type.
  • Damien has at least significant shades of the conflicted version in Magical Diary, considering that he jerks you around for most of the year, culminating in breaking your heart and trying to kill you by way of stealing your soul. The only way to get any of his endings - not even just the good one - is to tell him that you love him no matter what and then forgive him for what he did when he shows up again. Your roomies, however, will call you out on being a Love Martyr if they find out that you've taken him back, though. And by using Spirit Echoes and Empathy, you can find out that he has genuinely fallen in love with you and really does want to reform. But if you haven't been working on White magic, you might be left wondering how long it will be before he turns on you again.
    • It's not quite that simple - you can get his endings even if you play yourself as conflicted rather than all-forgiving. It's just the "I hate you forever" options you can't pick. And even with the white magic, it's questionable how much he's really changed. He doesn't want to kill you anymore, but he still enjoys messing with your head...
  • The Boys' Love game Kichiku Megane, of course.
    • The game is named after a fanspeak term for such characters and specifically invokes it in the most literal sense possible: a clueless dork who can't get a date receives magic glasses that turn him into a commanding Seme who gets whatever he wants, especially in bed. Check out the trailer (slightly NSFW) to see them in action.
    • While the main character, Katsuya, is the most prominent example, anyone who wears glasses in this series counts. Next best example is resident incubus Mr. R (who created the titular glasses) and, later, Sawamura, Katsuya's former childhood friend.
  • Subverted in Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc. The severely unstable Shrinking Violet and romance novelist Touko Fukawa desperately wants the rich, intelligent, and haughty Byakura Togami to be one for her. However, despite having the personality for this type, Togami simply doesn't care about Fukawa one way or the other. He alternates between being repelled by her advances and using her obsession to further his own (non-romantic) ends.
  • Bruno from Animamundi Dark Alchemist.
  • Silver Chaos 2: Artificial Mermaid features Brad Hiruma, who is added even further by using test tube as...and Love Redeems.

    Webcomics 
  • PeeJee and Aubrey in Something*Positive used to put their friends in hospital on a regular basis and sought out random strangers to assault when they got bored of that. Usually, they preferred to attack men, but they had no qualms against violence towards their fellow women. Both seem to have settled down somewhat recently, though. Rarely in the comic do men harm women, and usually, they got called out for it, but, admittedly, Davan did beat the two up with his cat once. Kim outdid them all, though, when she raped an unconscious Davan. He seemed remarkably calm about this, but then Davan remains astonishingly detached in a lot of situations.
  • Homestuck:
    • Vriska. Her method of seducing Tavros involves paralyzing him, making fun of his disabilities and building his house so that it is physically impossible for him to navigate, and then uses Mind Control to force him to love her. And after all that she murders him simply for having the guts to stand up to her.
    • Snowman/The Black Queen (both versions), particularly in her interactions with Jack Noir/Spades Slick. Very often, she abuses him in various ways, including putting a cigarette holder in his eye, removing an arm with a whip, forcing him into various costumes in the kids' Session, and having a particularly violent "hate snog" with him. It's even flat-out said that they have a blackrom thing going.
    • Marquise Spinneret Mindfang has Non-Mammal Mammaries and is a psychopathic, murderous pirate queen whose Establishing Character Moment is using mind control to have sex with a female slave in front of her rival. She's been humbled quite sharply by the time she meets her actual destined paramour, however.
  • Although the story's only two chapters in, and there seems to be more to be revealed where he's concerned, Cain of the Starfighter webcomic plays this one straight from the get-go. His idea of an icebreaker with his new navigator/roomie Abel is to bite Abel's lip so hard that he leaves a permanent scar, announce that Abel is now his bitch, and alternately threaten and sexually harass him (sometimes both at once). Give Abel his due, though, despite his occasional emotional moments, he's a lot more assertive about not taking Cain's shit than most of the Love Martyrs listed here.
    • "The one with the scar... Don't look at him, don't touch him... And don't fucking talk to him!" Self Explanatory.
  • The Night Belongs to Us: It's implied that Mick is abusive to Sienna, at least when he's drunk. Then again, unlike the typical Bastard Boyfriend, he doesn't really revel in bastard behavior, and Sienna can be just as much of a jerk.

    Web Original 
  • Zaboo's girlfriend in season three of The Guild.
  • Tamara (the character) from The Nostalgia Critic's show. When she tortures him with a Groin Attack in her first episode, he offers her a job because views go up when he's in pain.
  • Whateley Universe: Envy's mother, the supervillainess Strega, who has a specialty in mind control and love charm magics. During "Envy and the Gilded Cage" she captures an FBI field agent, mind-controlles, rapes, turnes her into The Mole, and even offered to let Envy 'share' her. After Envy went from male to female, Strega's idea of helping her daughter get used to her new body was to suggest a 'mother-daughter threesome' with a man they'd just met.

    Western Animation 
  • Season 3 of Castlevania the animated series, gives us a type 1 example in the introduction of a woman vampire named Lenore. She's well dressed, classy, and very charismatic. She is one of the four members of the leading council of female vampires who rules, and calls herself the diplomat, believing in making deals instead of using violence out of the four. When her colleagues decided to kill their prisoner, Hector, because they believed that he wouldn't willing become their forgemaster out of resentment for Carmilla, Lenore decides to use seduction and deception to trick Hector into submission. She does this by breaking down his own beliefs about Dracula, making him believe that Carmilla's No Holds Barred Beat Down was for his benefit. That they all believe in the same thing about humans being a plague on the world that needs to be controlled. And finally, that she is truly falling in love with him. Once she sees that Hector is buying her deception, she uses a Honey Trap to make him say the Exact Words of a spell to force him into servitude, with cost of great pain if he refuses by the spell cast. Afterwards, she makes it clear that she saw him as nothing but her pet from the beginning, and because he was surprisingly good at sex, she is going to make him her Sex Slave as well.
  • Ask That Guy with the Glasses' sexual sadism towards everyone he meets is very often played for fanservice.
  • Nigahiga parodies this with his "Nice Guys" video, and he self-identifies (exaggeratedly) as one in "The Worst Boyfriend Ever".
  • Callie on Ugly Americans. Her relationship with the show's main character, Mark, basically involves breaking into his bedroom whenever she's in the mood to jump his bones and/or brutally torture him. In the first episode, she writes "See you in Hell" on his bedroom wall in his blood, and the wall is still stained whenever his room is seen in later episodes. Mark puts up with it because she's hot and it's sex. Of course, she's a succubus and literally from Hell, so it's possible she doesn't know how to be gentle. She's been working on not being like that.
  • Chozen: The title character is this to his boy-toy Hunter, who wants an actual relationship, but Chozen is only in it for the sex. Hunter eventually wises up and ditches him.


Alternative Title(s): Sexy Sadist, Abusively Sexy Bastard, Abusively Sexy Woman, Abusively Sexy Man, Abusively Sexy Bitch, Abusively Sexy Lady, Abusively Sexy Girl, Bitch Girlfriend, Romanticized Abuser, Sexualized Abuser, Bastard Girlfriend, Bastard Boyfriend, Bespectacled Bastard Boyfriend, Fetishised Abuser, Sexualised Abuser, Romanticised Abuser

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