Butt Brand

Back in The Wild West, farm ranchers had a very common problem. Sometimes, rude or desperate neighbors would sneak into a pasture and round up as many cattle as they could before taking them to their own pastures, essentially stealing property and potential money from ranchers who are just getting by as it was. They had to come up with a way to not only prove that their cattle were stolen but also to prevent the people who had stolen said livestock from passing it off as their own. Their solution was simple; they would brand the cattle as their own with a heated piece of iron to leave a unique logo that's too specific to copy.

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While mostly associated with cowboys and the west, the practice predates the era by a considerable margin, as there are references to a similar practice as far back as the Roman Empire, as livestock needed to be moved constantly due to war plans and the constant fear of raiders.

Keep in mind that this idea was made long before the invention of modern microchips and scannable tags came around to figure out whose livestock officially belonged to who. And most are thankful for that, as very few both then and now would be brave enough to face a pissed-off bull with the job of putting a hot stick on its rear for a few seconds. As a result of this improved technology, iron branding has been mostly phased out of modern farming practices.

In media, however, an iron branding is a very common version of both torture and slapstick humor, the latter usually being applied to the butt, sometimes with the added side effect of a Rump Roast.

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Compare to Slave Brand, Mark of Shame or Pain to the Ass.

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Examples:

Advertising

• A Wilkins Coffee commercial had Wilkins branding an "X" on Wontkins for refusing the coffee.
  Wilkins: How about a cup of Wilkins Coffee?
  Wontkins: No, let me have Brand X.
  Wilkins: Okay! (brands him)
  Wontkins: OOH! That smarts!

Comic Books

• One issue of The Dark Knight Strikes Again features a woman with the House of El symbol stamped on her ass.

Films — Animation

• Part of the efforts to tame the eponymous equine from Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron include tying him to a post and branding him.

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Films — Live-Action

• Jackass: Number Two: One of the stunts has Bam Margera take a heated penis-shaped iron to the rear for a few seconds. Later, the crew would show the brand to Bam's parents.
• In Reform School Girls, Charlie uses a wire hanger heated with a cigarette lighter to brand a circle on Lisa's butt cheek. This is the mark Charlie places on all of the girls in her gang/harem. Lisa regards it as a Mark of Shame and it is one of the events that drives her towards her Despair Event Horizon.
• In Julia X, The Stranger brands an 'X' on to Julia's butt cheek.

Literature

• Kushiel's Legacy: Played for Drama when Imriel is Made a Slave, sold to a brutal sexual sadist, and given a Slave Brand on the buttock at age 11. He's rescued, but the Scars Are Forever and the trauma of the experience lingers well into his adulthood.

Music Videos

• The music video for the Ren & Stimpy song "Cat Hairballs" Stimpy is being forced to lick up and hwarf hairballs onto a conveyor belt, which then get branded with a "Grade A" seal by Ren. Eventually Stimpy runs out of places to lick and, exhausted from all the hwarfing, passes out on the conveyor belt and the gets violently stamped on the ass. The music video then irises out on an unconscious Stimpy's butt, with the words "Grade A" written across the butt cheeks.

Newspaper Comics

• One The Far Side strip shows a group of cows staring in horror at a cowboy who is heating up a huge branding iron reading "THIS COW BELONGS TO DARYL JONES SO HANDS OFF".

Other

• Invoked with women's sweatpants and short shorts that have writing across the butt.
• Also invoked by women who get tattoos either on one butt cheek, or written across her butt.

Toys

• This practice likely inspired the butt-symbols (now called "cutie marks") of the My Little Pony toy line.

Western Animation

• Family Guy:
  • In "Boys Do Cry", Peter brands a cow — specifically, the BDSM-obsessed cow from "Jungle Love". He even tells Peter to wait a second to puts a ball gag over his mouth.
  • In "Dial Meg for Murder", Peter trains himself for the rodeo by hogtying Meg and branding her, but it turns out Mayor West beat him to it.
• Pixie, Dixie and Mr. Jinks: In "Cousin Tex", the meeces' Texas cousin tries to brand Mr. Jinks. The cat tries trapping them under a wooden box, but Tex uses the hot iron to burn through it and brand Jinks while he sits on it.
  Jinks: Smells like, you know, somebody's roasting an overcoat. YEEEOOOOWW!!!
• The Ren & Stimpy Show: In "The Cat That Laid the Golden Hairball", Stimpy, over worked and completely licked clean of hair, passes out on the conveyor belt and gets stamped on the ass by Ren. Which leaves a "Grade A" seal of approval branded into Stimpy's butt cheeks.
• Rocko's Modern Life: In "The Good, the Bad, and the Wallaby", Heffer tries to join the cattle on the ranch, but is rejected for not having a brand mark, so he fools them by drawing a fake mark on his butt.
• The Simpsons: "Lisa the Vegetarian" has a Troy McClure video propagandizing meat. It ends with two brands burning "The End" on the rear end of a cow, who moos in pain.

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