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Machinima / Moments With Heavy

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If they're not blue, they're not friends.

There's Slice of Life stories, and then there's this.

Moments With Heavy was a series of Garry's Mod videos made by the late kitty0706, who is remembered as an instrumental member of the community. The episodes star the BLU Heavy and center around activities that wouldn't seem out of the ordinary to us, such as going bowling or taking a driver's exam.

In Moments With Heavy? Said activities involve heaps of Surreal Humor and Rapid-Fire Comedy that manifest in ways such as people surviving deadly explosions (sometimes more than once), waiting for ''83 centuries'' for an Xbox 360 to be delivered, spitting up bowling balls and getting a strike, and to make this bizarre universe even more bizarre, Winnie-the-Pooh is a Smoker in disguise.

Seven episodes were made in total. Check them out here, but be warned; there is enough insanity in this series, so it is not advised that viewers get high while watching. A posthumous episode, named Movie Night (created by Greatdictator), was released on February 2015 as a tribute to kitty0706.


Now has a Character Sheet.

Tropes that appear in this series:

  • All Just a Dream: "Heavy's Retarded Holiday".
    • Or Was It a Dream?: At the end, Ellis gives Heavy a gift. Heavy opens the gift to find the same teddy bear that he had received from Ellis during the dream.
  • Art Evolution: The animation got an improvement, and the pacing of the humor starts delving into Rapid-Fire Comedy.
  • Back for the Finale: Everyone in "Movie Night"!
  • Badass Adorable: The giant monster cat with a disintegration ray in "Heavy's Retarded Holiday".
  • Berserk Button: The Narrator does not take it well when the Scout shows up in place of Heavy in "French Toast."
    Narrator: Oh. I'm sorry. I thought this was "Moments with Heavy", not "Moments with some lazy, degenerate douchebag, who ruins the entire show with his negligence.
  • The Bad Guy Wins: "The Quest For The Ultimate Sandvich."
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  • Big Head Mode: Often happens when Heavy shouts "No!"
  • Book Dumb: Heavy technically should have failed his driver's test, considering he answered that you should "crash into the thingy and die" when approaching an oncoming train. Yet because he answered the extra credit question correctly, he passed.
    • He also answered "all of the above" on the previous question which asked what is the minimum safe distance to park from a fire hydrant (the other choices being 25 ft, 50 ft, 98 miles away, and "what was the question?")
  • Cheaters Never Prosper: If you had to extract a moral from Heavy Takes His Driving Test, this would be it. A few of the classes try to use their unique weapons and abilities (i.e. the RED Engineer programming the car to do all of the test for him, the RED Demoman placing sticky bombs in specific locations to move the test along, etc.) The entire RED team fails their tests for these reasons. RED Spy almost passes it perfectly, had he not stopped the car to get out and kill the pedestrian.
    • Also, in Heavy Goes Bowling, the RED Heavy does this repeatedly, even going as far as to lie in the middle of the lane so that BLU Heavy can't knock down the pins. The BLU Heavy eventually wins after RED Heavy is finally disqualified for trying to shoot him.
  • Death Is Cheap:
    • In "Heavy Goes Bowling", Francis gets killed by G-Man, yet shows up later on to drive his motorcycle through the bowling alley and eventually slam his drink on the counter hard enough to shake the entire bowling alley and knock down the last bowling pins, winning the game for BLU Heavy. Also, when Francis is killed by G-Man, the HUD says that Louis was killed by the Fast Headcrab Zombies, yet he survives and makes his way back inside the bowling alley only to be hit in the face by a bowling pin and attacked by Fast Headcrab Zombies again.
    • In "French Toast" Heavy foolishly touches a hot frying pan (after specifically being told not to do so) and instantly burst into flames (with a note labelled "death" to ensure the audience did not attempt this), but he's perfectly alright in the very next shot. Beforehand he also tastes his incomplete French Toast mixture and ends up dead of salmonella, complete with same.
  • Disney Death:
    • In "Heavy Takes his Driving Test", most of the RED mercenaries die during their driving tests, yet show up alive at the end of the video so BLU Scout can tell them that they failed.
    • In "Heavy's Retarded Holiday", Heavy's companions (Ellis, Frank, Chuck, Ezio, a random rebel) are quickly killed by a giant monster cat with a disintegration ray, yet inexplicably show up alive to celebrate after Heavy defeats said monster. Additionally Heavy and Ellis have a number of experiences that should be lethal but at best momentarily incapacitate them, including several falls of insane heights and Ellis being shot several times by two sentry guns.
  • Freeze-Frame Bonus: While the RED Heavy is shooting after he gets defeated in 'Heavy Goes Bowling', look at the onomatopoeia in the last gunshot. It's the word "onion."
  • Flying Car: Somehow, a derpy-eyed RED Scout causes his car to soar through the air.
  • MacGuffin Melee: Several characters (though none as much as the Heavy) will use any means of violence to get the Crit Sandvich in "The Quest for the Ultimate Sandvich".
  • Made of Indestructium: Heavy's package in "Heavy Orders an Xbox 360".
  • Made of Iron: Taken Up to Eleven in every feasible way.
    • Good thing Francis is indestructible... unless he gets killed by G-Man's briefcase.
  • Major Injury Underreaction: In Heavy Takes His Driving Test, BLU Spy gets body-checked off a water tower by RED Sniper a few minutes after getting sub-machine gunned and his only reaction? "You got blood on my suit."
  • Man on Fire: Heavy when he attempts to touch the heated frying pan while making french toast.
  • Massive Multiplayer Crossover: Hoo boy, too many to list.
  • Mood Whiplash: In "Heavy's Retarded Holiday", Heavy ends up in a tense situation where he is hanging over a high ledge by one hand, calling for help. Ellis is slowly reaching out, trying to help him and just as he takes his hand:
    Ellis: Oh my God, it's Christmas!
    Cut to a shot in which a Christmas tree and presents are visible in the distance.
    Heavy: Come sing with me!
    Heavy grabs Ellis and jumps off the ledge as he starts singing.
  • Noodle Implements: What exactly IS that guy's Lucario costume the fat nerd brings up in "Heavy Goes Bowling?"
  • Reality Ensues: Shown several times in "French Toast". When Heavy tries eating some of the incomplete mixture, he gets salmonella, and when he tries flipping the toast with his hand and not a spatula, he gets severe burns.
  • Ridiculously Cute Critter: The small bird turtles in "Heavy's Retarded Holiday"
  • Running Gag: Heavy Goes Bowling has at least three instances involving a character being thrown outside the bowling alley and flying into a car, setting off its alarm in the process. Two of them, both of them involving Louis, end with the victim being viciously mauled by Fast Headcrab Zombies. The third time, the scene cuts away as soon as the car alarm begins, as though the video is saying, "Yeah, you already know what's about to happen."
  • Run the Gauntlet: In "The Quest for the Ultimate Sandwich", Heavy is forced to defeat the RED Team mercs, one by one, in order to save his precious sandvich.
  • Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: The RED Team mercs to the BLU Team.
  • "Shaggy Dog" Story: "Heavy Orders an Xbox 260" ends with Heavy finally getting the box open, then the 360 gets a Red Ring of Death while playing The Darkness.
  • Shout-Out: In addition to all the videogame cameos, Dr. Hax appears in "Heavy Goes Bowling" and even helps BLU Heavy during his bowling match against RED Heavy.
  • Sophisticated as Hell: "A mixture of ingredients do not own the proper attributes to be mentally impaired, dumbass."
  • Stuff Blowing Up: "Heavy Takes His Driving Test". Several things go up in mushroom clouds when they're so much as tapped.
  • Surreal Humour: Especially in "Heavy's Retarded Holiday", where the Heavy ends up in a strange place resembling an enormous bedroom in which people appear and disappear out of nowhere, get killed in absurd ways and inexplicably turn up okay later, a giant monster cat goes on a rampage after being disturbed fro its sleep by Heavy, Ellis, Frank West and Chuck Greene, and Christmas happens spontaneously.
  • Tempting Fate: In "Heavy Goes Bowling", Francis starts to remark "Good thing I'm indestructible" only to immediately be killed mid-sentence by G-Man because he's indestructible. He does inexplicably show up alive later on, though.
  • Too Dumb to Live: The Heavy... oh boy...
  • Trapped in TV Land: "Heavy's Retarded Holiday", when Heavy gets sucked into Left 4 Dead 2, except where he's in is nothing like the game itself.
  • Verbal Tic: Heavy's "Uh." sound when he's uncertain of something.
  • Wacky Racing: Technically not a race, but the driving course would certainly qualify, considering it featured dangerous jumps, an oncoming train, and a civilian trying to cross the street. Then of course most of the RED team takes it further with various absurd methods that result in disaster.
  • The Wonderland: Although the universe in this series is already this, it is certainly more coherent than the dream world Heavy enters in "Heavy's Retarded Holiday".

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