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Seriously, don't f*ck up!

"Don't f*ck up!"
Barret
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Final Fantasy VII Machinabridged is an Abridged Series and Machinima based on and filmed in the video game Final Fantasy VII. It is the first machinima series made by Team Four Star (TFS).

Unlike DBZA, the producers, directors and writers Antfish (Anthony Sardinha) and Takahata101 (Curtis Arnott) hire several guest voice actors and other YouTubers outside of TFS for most characters, hence double castings being the exception rather than the rule, for once. The footage is recorded and edited by MasakoX (Lawrence Simpson) rather than KaiserNeko (Scott Frerichs), allowing the series to be produced parallel to that of Dragon Ball Z Abridged (another series created by Team Four Star) without slowing down the latter series, especially since the script for each season has been written beforehand. As with all TFS productions, the music producer is AinTunez (Cliff Weinstein).

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The ongoing series can be found on TFS' website and YouTube page.

Not to be confused with Final Fantasy VII Abridged.

As a parody of Final Fantasy VII, it is assumed that viewers are familiar with the source material. Due to this, spoilers related to the original narrative will not be marked.


Can you do me a solid and list the Tropes?

  • Adaptational Heroism: Cait Sith is heavily suggested to serve as Reeve's only escape from the constant humiliation, loneliness, and helplessness against his peers' senseless acts of destruction that he must endure at Shinra, rather than simply a spy within AVALANCHE who gradually starts coming over to their side. He also joins the group because he forms an immediate connection with the equally emasculated Cloud.
    • Solidified by Episode 24 when the party and then Tseng wonder why he's still with Cloud's party after his betrayal. With the party's accusations, he takes serious offense to the idea that he considers the rest of Shinra his friends and then outright yells that he hates this job. With Tseng, he openly admits he'd rather throw in his lot with Cloud, much earlier than his canon counterpart, due to "decisions made by upper management", which Tseng doesn't surprisingly blame him for.
  • Adaptational Jerkass:
  • Adaptational Wimp: The normally badass and aloof Cloud is now a confused and naive kid who can sometimes pull through in battles, only to shortly afterward, well... fuck up.
  • All Men Are Perverts: A big contributing factor as to why Cloud began hanging out with Tifa when he was twelve was because she had "pretty eyes", and adult Cloud admits that he was definitely not looking at her eyes.
  • Androcles' Lion: The Zolom in Episode 12 only attacks the party because it was hurt, and it was taking out its anger after its mate was killed by Sephiroth.
  • Angry Black Man: Cloud and Aerith tend to bring this out of Barret, especially during combat.
  • Animal Wrongs Group: What Hojo assumes AVALANCE is when they break into his lab.
    Hojo: Ooohhh. So what'll it be this time? "They deserve to be free"? "They have feelings too?" Or, my personal favourite, "They have a name!". Ahahahahaha!
  • Anime Hair: They lampshaded Cloud's a lot in Episode 2 from how in the description of him in the news was a palm tree with yellow leaves to how even Cloud admitted that even with that they could easily find him.
  • Anything That Moves: Red XIII, a side-effect of being used for Hojo's... experimentation. At one point, he even tried to bang a living motorcycle.
  • Arc Words:
    • "Don't fuck up!" and "Can you do me a solid?"
    • "All is forgiven", in reference to Aerith.
    • "The Promised Land."
    • The original source material's arc words like "reunion" and "calamity from the sky" still apply here.
  • Art Evolution: Aerith's portrait has a more cartoony look in Season 2. The art style has changed in general beginning in Season 2. Cloud, Barret, Tifa and Red XIII keep their portraits from Season 1, but outside of those portraits, everyone looks more exaggerated and Animesque. Episode 23 is a good example of this.
  • Art Shift: Episode 23 has a few scenes with original animation provided by Team Four Star.
  • Ass Shove: Both threats courtesy of Tifa.
    • Tifa threatens to make a hand puppet out of Cloud to intimidate him into helping. Even Barret finds the thought unsettling.
    Tifa: Shoulder deep, Cloud!
    • When Reno recovers and gets out of surgery from Tifa's Groin Attack on him, their next encounter has her threaten to shove his new staff up his.
  • Atomic F-Bomb: Barret does this twice.
    • First, when Hojo points out that the door at the top of the stairwell (which Cloud, Barret and Tifa all climbed round-trip) had been locked for years.
      Barret: [distantly, with the camera zoomed out below Shinra HQ] FATHER F*CKER!!!
    • Second, shortly after promising to respond appropriately to Cloud's explanation of what he said to Aerith (which he arguably does).
      Barret: [Distant Reaction Shot with the camera zoomed out above Cosmo Canyon] AWWWW, YOU F*CKED UP!!!!
  • Aww, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other:
    • While Tifa and Cloud bicker a lot, they are shown to genuinely care for each other. Tifa shows concern when Cloud is in danger and wants to help him. When Cloud sees Tifa with Don Corneo he doesn't hesitate to go on a rescue mission, going as far as to cross-dress, and Tifa is clearly happy to hear that he didn't die in the fall. Tifa even stays behind to help Cloud in Episode 10, and they share a touching moment, before Tifa makes a 69 joke to intentionally kill the mood.
    • Cloud's mom may have doubted him and nagged him, but they angrily shout phrases of love during their argument, and learning that Sephiroth murdered her drives Cloud into a rage.
  • “Awesome McCool” Name: Applies to most of the characters in varying degrees, but Cloud Strife is notable in that Barret openly admits that it's a badass name. It's one of the few times Barret honestly compliments Cloud.
  • Bathos: There's a dramatic showdown between Barret and Dyne that is played almost completely straight...save for Cloud's offscreen commentary on the whole thing.
  • Bestiality Is Depraved: Hojo outright admits the records of his crossbreeding experiments are his spank bank, and upon being told that they're to become part of them, AVALANCHE is utterly horrified, with Tifa asking "Are you sure you can't just kill us?"
  • Berserk Button:
    • Cloud doesn't like not being recognized, especially since he was part of SOLDIER. People not recognizing him is justified, as he was never actually a SOLDIER.
    • Barret doesn't appreciate when people imply he's a bad father. The one time it happens, he beat up (or possibly killed) the person that suggested it.
    • Played for Drama with Cait Sith or rather, Reeve, as he takes serious offense to the idea that he would even like anything about the asinine and heartless company he's stuck working for, especially with everything they've done.
  • Biggus Dickus: Reno, apparently, and it's Not Hyperbole after he had to go into surgery due to Tifa's punch.
    Reno: (after being hit by Tifa in the 'nads) Aah, you destroyed half of my enormous dick.
  • Black Comedy Rape: Tifa strongly implies that Cloud will be taken in and subjected to gang rape in prison ("Four dudes, at a minimum.") if he tries to leave AVALANCHE. This is initially played very much for laughs until Cloud finally chews Tifa out for it in the final scene of Season 1, and the way he talks about it so seriously makes one realize that it really wouldn't be that funny if someone threatened you with such.
  • Brick Joke:
    • At the beginning and end of Episode 1, both Barret and Cloud utter the phrase "Tifa, your friend is killing me," respectively
    • In Episode 4, Rude sent soldiers to "babysit" Reno due to an incident involving a falafel stand. In Episode 7, one of Reeve's arguments against dropping a entire section of the city onto Sector 7 is that Sector 7 contains a falafel stand that all of the Shinra executives really love.
      • Episode 16 has one of Cait Sith's "fortunes" (actually excerpts from Reeve's diary) mention that a Shinder date had cancelled on him, only to find her making out with another guy at the falafel stand.
    • Two in Episode 6, the first one being the drugstore owner finally being asked for what he sells, and AVALANCHE's hideout being discovered by someone playing on the pinball machine.
    • In Episode 11, Cloud suggests Sephiroth give a Pre-Mortem One-Liner "sorry to cut this meeting short" the next time he kills an opponent. Later in that episode, Sephiroth uses it when he slashes Tifa.
  • Call-Back: It appears Rufus is just as miffed about his father's way of dealing with things as Reeve is, after Heidegger suggests blowing up the entire Western Continent to take Out Sephiroth.
    Rufus: Heidegger, that seems like an overreaction. Like, dropping a section of the city ON TOP OF ANOTHER SECTION OF THE CITY! Let's use a scalpel instead of a hammer to fix our problems nowadays, okay?
    • Hojo apparently found the girls caring for him on the beach in Costa Del Sol by noticing they were "open to experimentation". Except they turned out to be prostitutes.
    • Cloud's name that he makes up for when Rufus asks for it after the Shinra parade is "Thunderhead", the same name he gives while cross-dressed
  • Call-Forward:
    • When President Shinra captures the main characters, we get this exchange:
      Barret: Next time I see you, you're a dead man!
      Shinra: Trust me, and when I say this I mean no metaphor...the next time we meet, one of us will be dead.
    • Sephiroth's only line in Season 1 nods to his greeting of Cloud in Final Fantasy VII Advent Children.
      Sephiroth: Good to see you, Cloud.
  • Calling Your Attacks:
    • Cloud does this, much to Barret's exasperation.
      Cloud: SOLDIER BOLT!
      Barret: I can't believe you named it...
    • Tifa isn't shown calling her attacks, but she does name them, most notably the Dolphin Blow, for which she gets a lot of ribbing from Cloud. At one point she states that she intends to name one of her attacks "assault spiral" after hearing Reeve say it in a different context.
      • Her master Zangan named all of his attacks as well - unfortunately, the vast majority fall under Innocent Innuendo. Whether he called them or not isn't shown, but it would seem in character for him if he did.
    • Tifa questions what the hell a "Clim Hazard" is after Cloud uses "Soldier Climhazzard" - according to Cloud, it's a Clim that's Hazardous.
    • In her first appearance, Yuffie tries to jump the party, but calls out "Surprise Attack!", which gives Tifa plenty of time to retaliate.
      Yuffie: FOOLS! Now you face the GREAT NINJA YUFF- (gets punched in face)
    • When Tifa then recommends that Yuffie might not want to shout while making a sneak attack, Yuffie is shocked and impressed, since it literally never occurred to her before.
      Yuffie: WHOA! That's a good idea! You're totally blowing my mind right now!
  • The Cameo: Linkara — the host of Atop the Fourth Wall — plays Choco-Bill the chocobo rancher in Episode 12.
  • Catch-Phrase:
    • Tifa: "Would you do me a solid?"
    • Cloud: "I was in SOLDIER." Even extends to his attacks. See Calling Your Attacks above.
    • Aerith: "yay!" and more significantly, "all is forgiven."
    • Yuffie: "Yuffie out!" She also has a tendency to respond to accusations with "What? No I'm not!"
  • Censored for Comedy: While there's quite a few swear words, the word "fuck" is always censored with the "command invalid" noise from the game proper. It goes uncensored one time in Episode 17 during Barrett's flashback to Dyne's fall as a way of highlighting the drama of the line.
  • Character Development: Throughout the first season, all of the characters change in some way, aside from Red XIII, who debuts in the penultimate episode of the season.
    • Cloud exhibits more of a backbone against Tifa and Barret, eventually earning some respect from both of them, culminating in a rant directed at Tifa in the season one finale. He also begins to seem legitimately badass, and his interactions with Aerith demonstrate a softer side.
    • Barret begins to cool off on his treatment of Cloud and begins to openly express disgust with Tifa's remarks against Cloud. While still a huge jerk, he also tries to protect Aerith and Red from harm, seeing them as too innocent to be caught up in the events that are transpiring.
    • Tifa lets slip that she might actually care about Cloud as the season continues, expressing some genuine worry when he performs risky actions. Her insults also become much less profane, though this doesn't stop the ensuing rant from Cloud during the season one finale.
    • Aerith, despite appearing stupid, becomes very sassy and subtly insults Tifa many times across the season. She also begins to form a bond with Cloud.
  • Chekhov's Gunman: Ramirez, the put upon grunt from Cloud's flashback. Those who've played the game will know why. For those who haven't, Cloud's memories are fake and Ramirez is Cloud himself.
  • Childhood Friends: In this version Tifa and Cloud are childhood friends, though it seems that Tifa took advantage of Cloud as a kid to do stupid stuff for her.
  • Clear My Name: The reason the party sets out after escaping Midgar: to find Sephiroth and clear their names after Rufus Shinra spreads the news that they were the ones who murdered his father.
  • Clingy Jealous Girl: Aerith wants Cloud all to herself, and is quite hostile to anyone who she perceives as a threat to that. Aerith constantly snarks at Tifa, refuses to heal her when she's poisoned, and in general seems to be trying to hasten Tifa's demise to have Cloud to herself. Also, when Yuffie joins the party, Aerith openly tells her to leave and that the party doesn't need her. This even extends to Materia summons, shown by Aerith "accidentally" destroying Shiva because Cloud and Tifa found her attractive.
  • Cloudcuckoolander:
    • Aerith lacks an entirely firm grasp on reality due to being raised by a stoner. For example, she doesn't realize that flowers can't break falls and believes in fairies.
    • Palmer, who thinks that in order to buy a space (defined as what you see when you make a telescope out of your hands and look into it), you have to throw a billion gil into a fire because the smoke delivers the gil to space.
  • Comically Missing the Point:
    • Cloud thinks that the Mako reactor is a totally eco-friendly, zero-emissions factory until Barret points out the chimneys spouting green smoke.
    • Palmer is more horrified that President Shinra's metaphor ends without the pay-off than he is that President Shinra got stabbed by Sephiroth.
  • Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Cloud is rather whiny and fucks up a lot, but in combat he is, if allowed, rather skilled and strong. The others have no idea he took out a pair of guards in a matter of seconds while treating their attacks as if they were minor annoyances.
  • Cuteness Proximity: Upon realizing that Red XIII can talk, Aerith asks if the party can keep him. She starts high pitched and excited, and by the time she's finished it's little more than incomprehensible squeaking.
    • Season 2 reveals that Tifa is also susceptible to this, squealing with delight upon meeting Priscilla's dolphin buddy.
  • Dare to Be Badass: The whole premise of Cloud's character is his (poor) attempts of trying to come off as a badass.
    • He gives off a speech in episode 12 to rally everyone to try to kill the Midgar Zolom. It doesn't work.
    • He gives a far more effective speech after Aerith runs off to the City of the Ancients about confronting his fears and how he intends to keep his promise. This speech is far more successful at moving the group to action than the speech from above... until he's forced to admit he doesn't know where the City of the Ancients is.
  • Darkest Hour:
  • Deadpan Snarker:
    • Everyone, really, but the most effective are Aerith and Tifa, especially when it comes to the other.
    • Of particular note is the drug store owner from episode 5, whose dialogue is almost nothing except scathing sarcasm.
  • Delayed Reaction: Elmyra is too stoned to really register that her daughter's been kidnapped, and only has a major reaction to the fact after several minutes of exposition and telling them that her daughter's been kidnapped.
  • Depraved Bisexual: Both one of Don Corneo's henchmen and the crime boss himself are very interested in Cloud, whether or not he's pretending to be a woman.
  • Desperately Looking for a Purpose in Life: Reeve desperately wants anything else other than the miserable job working for Shinra he's stuck with. This is where Cait Sith comes in.
  • Determinator: Cloud has a single-minded focus on finding Sephiroth out of revenge, as in the game. Unfortunately, this doesn't improve his actual competence much and frequently erodes his nicer qualities.
  • Die Laughing: Jessie dies laughing at the thought of Biggs thinking his dick was above average size.
  • Disproportionate Retribution: In Episode 3, a random civilian questions how Barrett can be a parent with a gun for an arm. What's Barrett's response? Beating him with it with the intention of giving him a taste of the hardships of raising a child with one arm.
    • Dropping the Sector 7 plate onto the slums to kill one terrorist group. Reeve sums it up quite nicely.
      Reeve: Okay, I'll use a metaphor. it's like you're trying to make an omelette... BY DROPPING A SECTION OF THE CITY ONTO ANOTHER SECTION OF THE CITY!
    • Rufus admits that his father was far too keen on this approach and intends to be more surgical than the old man was.
  • Distinction Without a Difference: In Episode 6 at Don Corneo's Girls Only Mansion:
    Cloud: Well, how about I give you the info you dressed all slutty for?
    Tifa: [testily] First of all, I was dressed… whore-y. Second of all, that would be great.
  • The Dog Bites Back:
    • Cloud stands up for himself against Tifa at the end of Episode 3.
      Cloud: Hey Tifa? Can you do me solid and GO F**K YOURSELF!?
    • Given the source material, it gets literal when Red XIII mauls Hojo after Barret shoots open the cell.
    • Cloud gets another chance at the end of Episode 10 when Tifa's comment about Cloud feeling "safest" when in her presence finally causes him to snap and unload a scathing verbal beatdown on her.
  • Doomed Hometown:
    • Nibelheim is this for Tifa and Cloud.
    • Corel for Barret.
  • Due to the Dead: As the party depressedly follows Cloud to the Northern Crater after Aerith's murder, Tifa goes back to Aerith's resting place and leaves behind a bouquet of white and yellow flowers.
  • Dumbass Has a Point: Stoner rather than dumbass, but when Elmyra bases her assumption of Barret being Marlene's father on the fact that Marlene has a gun and Barret's hand is a gun, Barret admits it's a fair assessment.
  • Dysfunction Junction: AVALANCHE. Cloud is kind of dumb, has a psychological need to prove how strong and cool he is, and he's hearing voices. Tifa has repressed the trauma of losing almost everybody she cared about, leading to or compounding anger issues and emotional immaturity. Aerith is pure and naive to a fault, though she's getting jealous of the women around Cloud, and she's not handling the jealousy well at all. Red XIII is essentially a typical dog, and probably a sex addict. Yuffie is a kleptomaniac, kind of dumb, and inappropriately cheerful. Vincent is a morose and unabashedly creepy corpse of a man with bugs having made a home in his body. Barret is the only one approaching normal, even if his parenting techniques are questionable, but considering what he has to put up with, he's often angry, frustrated, or exasperated. Cid, despite his penchants for stories about his ancestors also named Cid and infamous potty mouth, joins him in that department, and probably more so.
  • Establishing Character Moment:
  • Everyone Has Standards:
    • President Shinra is a Corrupt Corporate Executive who's willing to kill innocent people and waste a large amount of resources just to get rid of AVALANCHE. When he hears Palmer has been literally burning cash thinking that it will let him buy parts of outer space, Shinra removes his budgeting privileges.
    • Almost everyone who's aware that Hojo's experiments involve forcing people to breed with animals treat it with appropriate disgust and horror.
  • Famous Last Words:
    • "...NOOO!" Wedge, upon being asked if he's okay.
    • "TELL HER!" Biggs, imploring Cloud to tell Jessie that he loves her voice, since he pretends she's giving him a blowjob.
    • "Nah! It's actually kind of funny... that he thinks his dick is that big!" Jessie, in response to being told of Biggs' last request.
    • "But you see, I'm dying... TO TRY THAT SWEET KUSH!" Ifalna, though the quote is no doubt inaccurate because of Elmyra's unreliable narration.
    • "Much like an ice skating Chocobo being ridden by some illiterate Moogles--" President Shinra, according to Palmer.
    • "The eyes of my fists are never wrong! Now stand back, FOR ZANGAN'S FISTS SHALL SAAAAVE THE DAAAAYYYY!" Zangan, who died immediately.
    • "Hey guys, I found a bomb-!" One of Shinra's sailors
    • "We know, we're just framing you! BLEH!" Shinra recruit in Barret's flashback
    • "My coal is burnt out, brother... Farewell. And remember. Don't. Fuck. Up. Dyne
    • "HOW CAN A FEATHER BE THIS PAINFUL?!!!" Gi Nattak
    • "WHAT THE F*CK?!" Materia Keeper, moments before being eaten alive by Vincent
    • "I'm okay!" Palmer
    • "It's alright, Cloud. All is forgiven." Aerith
  • Fantastic Racism: Moogles are not considered full citizens by the government of Midgar.
    News Anchor: Coming up next: Moogles. Do they deserve full citizenship? And will marriage be next?
  • Flashback Cut: Played for Laughs in Episode 4 when Cloud tries to justify to Aerith why he fell through the roof of the church.
  • Fluffy the Terrible: The giant Zolom snake that guards the marsh to the mythril mines? Its name is Ashton.
  • Foreshadowing: They do a better job of preparing for one of the original game's bigger twists. Despite supposedly being in SOLDIER supposedly recently, Cloud's Shinra memories only seem to disappear between the immediate past and several years back, such as when he thought they could use the 60th floor's back door to sneak in when according to Hojo, "it's been sealed for years."
    • On the same note, in Episode 11 Sephiroth reacts with annoyance to Cloud's obnoxious fanboying, but then confides his personal troubles and backstory to him, as though he's talking to two different people.
    • It's difficult to hearnote , but after the Shinra board meeting is adjourned, Reeve demands that Hojo come back and explain how he spent five billion gil teaching an animal how to talk, which can only mean he's talking about Red XIII.
    • In Episode 9, when Cloud has a freak-out, Tifa attempts to comfort him by telling him to repress what he saw. This somewhat foreshadows her Freudian Excuse.
    • While staying in Kalm in Episode 11, Barret asks if they bought any new materia, but Tifa says the shop's entire stock was stolen. Yuffie is an unrepentant materia thief, after all.
    • In Episode 13, Yuffie claims that she isn't going to steal the party's materia after openly admitting that she's a kleptomaniac. In Episode 22, she steals the party's materia.
    • In Episode 14, when Cloud confronts Sephiroth on the ship to Costa Del Sol, Sephiroth flat out states that he has no idea who Cloud is and doesn't remember killing everyone in Nibelheim, which not only foreshadows that it's not actually Sephiroth, but a piece of Jenova using his appearance, but that Cloud was never in SOLDIER.
    • In Episode 15, Cloud that he's surprised to see that Hojo hasn't combusted in the sun like a vampire. Hojo replies that he'd be surprised what vampires can do nowdays...note 
    • During Barret's flashback, Scarlet promises Dyne that life in Corel will get better if they let Shinra build a mako reactor there, and asks both Barret and Dyne to give them a hand...
    • Since Cait Sith is a fortune teller, it's unsurprising that he gives a lot of this in episode 16.
      • Aerith asking she'll be remembered, which hits hard. This is further alluded to when one of Cait Sith's fortunes states all flowers will wilt one day.
      • When Cait Sith and Cloud bond about women they work with that emasculate them. Cait asks if Cloud has slept with his yet.
      • One of Caith Sith's "fortunes" is "I stood and cried as I watched thousands of innocent lives perish. Why must I work for such an empire of evil when my heart beats for justice?" echoing the sentiment shared by Cait Sith's controller Reeve back in Season 1 about the collapsing of the Midgar plate.
    • After Cloud's very insensitive attitude toward's Zack's death, Tifa calls him out that he wasn't there. Which foreshadows that Cloud's memories are fake. She then backtracks by saying that he wasn't there when Zack died, which is ironically wrong as Cloud was only a few feet away from Zack as he made his last stand.
  • Freeze-Frame Bonus:
    • In Episode 11, when Cloud, Tifa and Sephiroth take their picture together, Cloud's face is blurry due to a conveniently-timed sneeze.
    • When Cloud and Arieth meet Cait Sith, his naming screen shows "Reeve" for precisely three frames before deleting it.
  • Freudian Excuse: Tifa's dad dying seems to have taken part in the development of her now extreme personality.
  • The Friend Nobody Likes:
    • Cloud has been shunted into this role due to fucking up the first mission, making practically everyone in AVALANCHE see him as an annoying hindrance that they have no choice but to keep around.
    • Yuffie is tolerated by Cloud, and Red is too high to care. Barret and Aerith want her out (annoyance at her personality and klepto tendencies for Barret, her hero-worship of Tifa and potentially just being another girl in team with Cloud for Aerith), and Tifa seems to be in the middle with being annoyed by her, but not enough to want to throw her out.
  • Gameplay and Story Segregation: In Episode 10 when Barret's party is fighting the Hundred Gunner, he chides Red XIII for casting Fire on a robot, even though he did more damage than Barret himself.
  • Goldfish Poop Gang: Individually, the Turks can be intimidating. In fact, Reno, Tseng, and Rude are all at their most dangerous when the party encounters them without any of their fellows. In their first appearance as a group, however, they lose nearly all credibility. Granted, this is thanks to Elena joining their ranks to replace Reno while he's in surgery, but even when she's not with them and Reno's back, they still end up making fools of themselves.
  • Gone Horribly Right: Tifa tells Cloud near the beginning to pull his balls out of his fanny pack. By the end of Episode 10, Cloud has managed to level up his balls enough to intimidate her while telling her how much of a bitch she's been to him since they've known each other.
  • A Good Name for a Rock Band: Tifa wants to name one her moves "The Assault Spiral" after hearing that that's the name Reeve gave to the cycle of assault and bribing Heidegger is responsible for kicking off whenever he assaults a random civilian.
  • Gosh Dang It to Heck!: Aerith uses the word "blank" to substitute actual curse words.
  • Granola Girl: Aerith's adoptive mom is an environmentalist hippie who's all but stated to use various hallucinogens. The first descriptions of "the lifestream" come from her.
  • Groin Attack: Tifa shatters Reno's pelvis with a single mighty punch when he is trying to take down the Sector Seven plate.
  • Hair-Trigger Temper: Tifa, particularly in episode 7 thanks to the stress of traveling through a sewer after finding out her home is in danger. Of course, Aerith manages to test it and prove just how short her fuse is.
  • He Knows Too Much: Wedge had to join AVALANCHE after he found their hideout through the pinball machine, and saw too much.
  • Hearing Voices: Several times, Cloud hears and converses with the voice of Zack in times of distress, near-death, and while he's unconscious.
  • Hello, [Insert Name Here]: Prior to renaming the characters have different names by default:
  • Heterosexual Life-Partners: Barret and Red XIII quickly becomes best friends and even joyfully snuggle together.
  • Horrible Judge of Character: Aerith and Elmyra don't realize that Reno and the Turks are not nice people and have plans for Aerith. Even after they broke into their house and broke stuff in a rage, the two still think that the Turks are just worried about Aerith.
  • Hurricane of Puns: Invoked and then immediately subverted by Reno and his posse discussing the "Falafel Incident".
    Reno: So what you're saying is... because of the awful falafel... I became unlawfully awful.
    Soldier 1: Yes sir, that's... exactly—
    Soldier 2: WORD PLAY!
  • Hypocritical Humor: Yuffie chewing out Cloud for being awful at picking up social cues. Before immediately asking Tifa if she's ready for the time of her life.
    Tifa: I'm ready to end my life.
    Yuffie: Great!
    • Red-XIII's reaction to Aerith being able to understand the Midgar Zolem (He was stoned off his ass at the time)
    Red-XIII: YEA! Animals can't Talk!
    * Idiot Plot: Invoked. Cloud and co wonder how they were beaten by the band of idiots that compromise Shinra's top executives after watching Palmer throw a tantrum because they took away his control over the funding of the space program, only to acknowledge the pinball machine, but gets countered with the idiot secretary that let them (and later apparently Sephiroth) walk in.
  • I Need a Freaking Drink: After Cloud does something unsavory to get a pair of knickers, he marches straight back to the drug store and orders "One drugs, please."
  • Innocent Bigot: Red XIII, who is rather simple but ultimately a nice guy, calls Barrett "Black" as an In-Series Nickname. Barrett allows it because of this trope.
    Barrett: Scout ahead, Red.
    Red XIII: Okay, Black.
    Barrett: You get a pass.
  • Inherently Funny Words:
    • In the outtakes, Takahata has a hard time reading Red XIII's line ("I've had an exceptionable amount of sex here") because he keeps laughing every time he says it.
    • Falafel, more specifically an awful falafel that led to Reno becoming unlawfully awful.
      Soldier: WORD PLAAAAY!
  • Intelligible Unintelligible: Jessie speaks like she has a sock in her mouth, probably due to the "alley dentist" mentioned by the others. The other characters can somewhat understand her, though Cloud mistakes her saying "My foot is stuck!" for something dirtier.
  • Interface Screw: After Tifa punches Yuffie in the face, the "name your character" screen pops up with several letters missing or out of place.
  • Ironic Echo:
    • The season one finale is full of them.
      • Upon finding President Shinra's body, Barret's response is "Well, well, well."
      • "Wow, who thought lighting would kill a robot?" "Anyone! Everyone would think to do that!" First between Cloud and Barrett in the first episode, then between Tifa and Cloud in Episode 10... with the twist that Tifa was snarking and Cloud was being Sarcasm-Blind.
    • Don Corneo asks Cloud, "Do you think you could ever, fall for me?" before dropping him into a trap door. Reno later asks Don Corneo the same thing before letting him fall off a cliff.
  • Irony: Tifa normally enforces Cloud's jumbled memories to avoid damaging his fragile psyche. The one time she calls him out on it by saying that he wasn't present when Zack died, she's the one that gets it wrong.
  • Jerkass: None of the characters, bar Aerith, her mother, and Red XIII, are nice people, being quick to insult others or get violent.
  • Jerkass Has a Point: From the perspective of Tifa and Barrett, Cloud is a whiny asshole who keeps fucking up. However, they can't help but acknowledge his frustrations with being recruited into a terrorist plot has a ring of truth.
    Cloud: I did you a solid and now I'm part of a terrorist cell!
    Tifa: Well... guess you got me there.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold:
    • Barret is a foul-mouthed short-tempered jackass who isn't all that nice to Cloud and manipulates him into staying in AVALANCHE with Tifa's help, but he adores his adopted daughter Marlene and cares deeply for her.
    • Tifa has used and abused Cloud for their entire friendship, tricked him into joining a terroist cell, treats Cloud like shit, threatens him with an Ass Shove and goes into great detail about how he'd get raped in prison to convince him to stay, but she does care a little about him in Episode 3 when he's about to fall to his death.
  • Knight of Cerebus: Sephiroth is shaping to do this as of episode 10, with his ominous communication with Cloud and Aerith and the ensuing murder of President and his bodyguards and cell guards with a bloody floor.
  • Lame Pun Reaction:
    • When Barret tells Cloud "It's show time", Cloud responds with "Show time? Then I guess I'd better perform".
      Barret: Mmmmmmmm, mother of God.
    • When Cloud destroys the Motorball with a lightning spell:
      Cloud: And that's how I roll.
      Tifa: Uuuuuuuuuuuugh.
      Barret: "Eye roll" indeed.
    • When Cloud defeats Jenova-BIRTH with Shiva:
      Cloud: Looks like you've been...put on ice.
      Tifa: Oh my God, Cloud.
  • Lampshade Hanging:
    • Everyone comments on Jessie's screwed up voice, with even Cloud commenting that she should probably get it checked out.
    • Barret says Aeris. Tifa has to correct him. Multiple times.
  • Limit Break: Parodied to hell.
  • Little Miss Badass: Marlene is left to run the bar, with a loaded gun.
    Customer: Excuse me, aren't you a little too young to be working at a bar?
    (gun cocks)
    Marlene: Aren't you a little too old to be asking stupid questions?
    • Priscilla, a small child who runs an anti-Shinra terrorist organisation and blackmails the gang into attempting an assassination against Rufus. She also swears like a docker.
  • Logging onto the Fourth Wall: The site mentioned in Episode 14, badbarbitches.biz, is real (albeit crudely designed) with the rankings that were mentioned in the episode. The pic used for Tifa is a webcam girl that happened to cosplay as her at one point, and links to her Twitter (which is NSFW, as one might suspect).
  • Madness Mantra: When Cloud first meets the creepy, black robed guys AKA, The Sephiroth Clones all they can do is repeat the word "Reunion" over and over, much to his increasing annoyance. Subverted in that they change it up slightly, just to further piss him off.
    Cloud: Can you say anything else other than "Reunion"?
    Little Robe: (Quieter) Red onion.
    Cloud: Oh, now you're just pissing me off!
  • Manchild:
  • Mate or Die: When Avalanche is captured by Shinra, Cloud and Tifa are taken away to become part of Hojo's experiments. Cloud reacts with horror at the prospect of having sex with Tifa, which offends her.
  • Miles Gloriosus: Cloud talks a big game, but most of the time, he's a total coward near any actual danger.
  • Money to Burn: Unintentionally by Palmer. While being questioned about what he could possibly need 10 billion gil for in the Space Division (the equivalent of being Reassigned to Antarctica in Shinra), Palmer gleefully notes he has been literally throwing billions of gil into a fire, because he thinks that's how you buy space.
  • Mood Killer: Tifa in episode 10, when she purposely counteracts her desire to make sure Cloud was safe by making a lame "Floor 69" joke.
  • Mood Whiplash:
    • Episode 10 starts with the group in prison with their usual quirks, followed with Cloud's nightmare of Sephiroth and his murders ensue. Then two comical boss fights occurring at the same time with Cloud and Rufus trashtalking each other when the latter escapes and Cloud fighting off the authorities on a bike and another boss fight. And then it ends with Cloud giving Tifa a truly scathing "The Reason You Suck" Speech. Ending with Red XIII saying "Holy shit". The latter is Played for Laughs. The former, Played for Drama.
    • Episode 11 switches rapidly between Sephiroth being treated as a genuinely nightmarish and broken presence in past events, and the comedically dysfunctional exchanges between Cloud and company. The episode then ends with a dramatic (if intentionally goofy) Say My Name between Cloud and Sephiroth, quickly followed by Barret revealing that he was so busy listing the various Bahamut's that he missed the entire story.
  • Mythology Gag:
    • Cloud does a forced laugh that sounds remarkably similar to Tidus' own forced laugh when Tifa pauses his flashback to make fun of Cloud's fangasm over Sephiroth.
    • In Episode 20, when Cloud, Yuffie, and Aerith find Vincent's coffin, Aerith guesses that it's a zombie, while Yuffie guesses that it's a werewolf. They're both right, with Vincent's Frankenstein's monster-like Death Gigas and werewolf-like Galian Beast transformations.
    • One of Cid's gimmicks for this characterization, where all other Cids in the franchise are ancestors of his
      • In episode 21, Cid says that a bad idea is "pissing your wife off so bad that she turns your ass into an oglop," which happened to his great-grandpa, Cid the IX.
    • Episode 23 opens with Cid regaling about another great-grandpappy, Cid the VI, described as having "created magical technology for an entire empire" yet wears a "f**king banana suit"
    • Also in Episode 23, Vincent once again talks in his sleep (in the cemetery of the horror-themed hotel...even if those are supposed to be passages to the other areas of the theme park) and from his mumbling, he says something like "You're looking quite the dirge today, Cerberus".
  • No-Nonsense Nemesis: Sephiroth is The Stoic, and much less intentionally funny than the rest of the cast. He does lay on the snark in Episode 11... until The Reveal that JENOVA is his mother, causing Sephiroth to drop the snark entirely in favor of being a Cold Ham.
  • Noodle Incident: Reno isn't trusted to handle Aerith by himself after something involving a falafel stand.
  • Not Now, Kiddo: In Episode 12, Aerith repeatedly tries to tell the other members of AVALANCHE that the Zolom is hurt and just needs to be healed, but no one listens to her.
  • Not Hyperbole: After getting given a Tifa punch to the 'nads, Reno is able to moan out that Tifa destroyed half of his enormous dick. Tifa snickers, not believing it for a second. Come Season 2, when Elena joins the Turks, it turns out Reno is in surgery from the hit and it really was that big.
  • N-Word Privileges: Invoked by Barret. Red XIII calls Barret "Black" as an In-Series Nickname after Barrett calls him "Red" in the same way. Barret decides that Red XIII gets a pass, presumably because he doesn't know any better.
  • Obfuscating Stupidity: Barret realizes both Red XIII and Aerith are this when they call "Not it" before he even finishes saying someone will need to scout outside of Shinra HQ to see how strong the army of soldiers is.
    Barret: Neither one of you are as dumb as you lead on to be.
  • One-Hit Kill: this is what happens whenever Tifa's in the party and they face a human enemy : the fight's over in one punch. The victims so far are Reno, whose pelvis and testicles she shattered, and Yuffie, who got her face smashed in and her naming interface scrambled.
  • Only Sane Man: Reeve to the Shinra executives. He tries to rein in their corrupt, stupid, or just plain insane abuse of their budgets, and he's the only one that cares that the company killed a bunch of innocent people in an attempt to kill AVALANCHE.
  • Offscreen Teleportation: Aerith is somehow able to meet up with Cloud after he runs away from her house. This is lampshaded by Cloud, who questions how she was able to move that fast.
  • Overly Long Gag: For the entirety of Episode 11, Barret can faintly be heard listing off the various versions of Bahamut.
  • Parody Assistance: The soundtrack for the series is the original Final Fantasy VII OST with new arrangements by AinTunez. The reason Team Four Star is allowed to sell albums of this music is because they have a contract with Square Enix to use the original game's score in the series and pay back a cut of the profit. As such, this is one of the only abridged series that has legal sanction from the holder of the parodied work's IP.
  • Person as Verb: Red uses Cloud's name as synonym for "fucking up", much to Cloud's chagrin.
  • Phrase-Catcher: Cloud's also on the receiving end of a number of "Don't fuck up"s and "Did you fuck up?"s from Barret.
  • Played for Drama: The teams threat to Cait Sith drops any pretense of humour. There is no joke here. The calm but furious tones in their voice make it clear that if Cait Sith screws them over again, they will find the real him and throw him off the top of Shinra headquarters.
  • Pragmatic Adaptation: Random encounters in any area are usually glossed over. Several boss fights are skipped outright or reduced to only one or two attacks before they go down.
  • Precision F-Strike: Episode 24 has the entire group openly questioning why Cait Sith is still with them when he's an acknowledged traitor, overriding any protest on his part.
    Tifa: Then why Cait? Why's your greedy corporate fat-cat ass even here?
    Cait Sith: BECAUSE I FUCKING HATE MY JOB!
  • Prison Rape: Cloud is intimidated into sticking with AVALANCHE by Tifa and Barret both pointing out that should Cloud be caught, he'll be sent to prison, where his hair makes for a convenient grab hold for no fewer than four men. This is one of the primary points Cloud brings up in his "The Reason You Suck" Speech at the end of Season 1.
  • Puff of Logic: After Yuffie joins the party, a monster attacks them. The one thing Cloud notices about the monster is that it has gills and proceeds to question how it is able to survive outside of water for so long. It immediately dies after Cloud brings up this fact.
  • Rage Breaking Point:
    • After an entire season of putting up with Tifa's abuse, Cloud finally gets sick of it in Episode 10 after she remarks that he "feels safest" around her. This triggers him giving her one hell of a "The Reason You Suck" Speech that leaves everyone in stunned silence.
    • Both Tifa and Cloud are enraged when they meet Sephiroth in episode 14 and he doesn't remember them or burning Niebelheim down to the ground.
  • Rant-Inducing Slight: When the group finally leaves Midgar, Tifa makes one too many disparaging comments about Cloud, resulting in him tearing apart Tifa's horrible attitude due to her not being able to deal with her father's death.
    Red XIII: Holy shit!
  • Really Dead Montage: After Sephiroth kills Aerith, the bouncing hair band she wore is interspersed with shots of her throughout the adventure while her theme softly plays on a piano.
  • Rule of Three: President Shinra's Verbal Tic of "Well, well, well...", which is lampshaded in episode 9.
    President Shinra: Well, well, well... Well, well, well... Well
    Tifa: Oh, god, get on with it!
    President Shinra: Let me finish. I've got two more "wells" in me, young lady.
  • Running Gag:
  • Sanity Ball: The role of straight man is passed around a lot between Cloud, Tifa, and Barret depending on the situation.
  • Sarcasm Mode: Several times:
    • When Tifa forgets to bring the map:
      Tifa: Was there some sort of meeting?
      Barret: Oh yeah! With complementary meats and biscuits!
    • When Cloud gets frustrated with Tifa's immaturity while trying to rescue her from Don Corneo's.
      Tifa: I'm sorry. I just...I can't get over the boobs!"
      Cloud: Well now I know what it's like to be one of your shirts.
      Tifa: Ohhh, sick burn Cloud. My tits are huge.
    • When Cloud spends all their money on a single chocobo green that he then loses when Red eats:
      Cloud: Are you calling me a liar?
      Tifa: Oh, no! That's my nickname, right Cloud? "Tifa the Liar." Well, here's one on the house for you: you're stronger than Sephiroth.
      Cloud: Thank you! ...Wait a minute.
      Tifa: Also, you never fuck up! Never ever!
      Cloud: Okay, Tifa, I get it.
  • Sdrawkcab Speech: Cloud's imaginary friend "ChoCho" from episode 22 speaks in this briefly. It's framed like a humorous example of Black Speech unless you're reading the subtitles.
    ChoCho: Black Materia, join the Reunion.
  • Setting Update: The aesthetics of the characters and the world are the same as the original game but mobile phones are now modern touch screen smartphones instead of flip phones and there are now equivalents to the internet and Twitter (Shintranet and Warker).
  • Silent Credits: After Aerith's death in episode 25, the normally upbeat victory fanfare is cut as Tifa's icon leaves flowers to mark the occasion in silence.
  • She's Got Legs: Tifa believes her legs are her best feature and loves to show them off. Cloud...disagrees.
  • Shoo Out the Clowns: Episode 25, which focuses on the death of Aerith, is much more somber than past episodes. Her death is played solely for drama, the entire group is heartbroken, and Cloud is burning with Tranquil Fury.
  • Shout-Out:
  • Sound-Effect Bleep: Particularly foul-mouthed cursing is at least partially bleeped out by the "invalid option" sound effect from the game.
    • It doubles as a reference to the game's liberal use of Symbol Swearing.
    • Notably averted with Dyne, the man who gave birth to "Don't fuck up." Whenever he says it, it's uncensored.
    • Also averted when Tifa gets annoyed at Cloud accusing her for being a spy.
    • As well as when Cait Sith blows his stack when the group likens him to the rest of the Shinra execs. Note that a few seconds earlier, Cid saying "fucker" also goes uncensored, letting you know the scene is turning serious.
  • Speaks Fluent Animal: Aerith can understand the Zolom. Cloud is apoplectic at wondering how, until Aerith says the snake think he's really strong, at which point Cloud is totally on board.
  • Speech Impediment: Jesse has a slur that nescessitates the use of subtitles, implied to be the result of going to a Back-Alley Doctor instead of a real dentist.
  • Stab the Scorpion: When the group lures Barret to them in Corel Prison after he ran off, it looks like he's about to shoot them, only to reveal he shot a hidden assailant instead.
  • Stealth Insult: Rufus Shinra's official statement on his father's murder.
  • Sticky Fingers: Yuffie, as explained by herself in the Season 2 trailer. She will pick up anything not nailed down.
  • Strange Minds Think Alike: Both Tifa and Barrett independently muse that Cloud would not do well in prison with that hair, because "There's just so much to grab."
  • Suspect Is Hatless: When asking the guard at Don Corneo's mansion if he's seen Tifa. He gives a vague description of her having brown hair, average height and long legs which the guard fails to recognise, at which Cloud replies she had enormous breasts and probably insulted him which the guard recognizes instantly.
    • Subverted in episode 2, as the only thing the police sketch of Cloud got right was his spiky hair, but everyone considers this enough for Cloud to quickly get picked up by Shinra's forces.
  • Take That!:
    • When Cloud introduces himself to Barret in Episode 1, the latter questions if he got his name because he "rains on everyone's parade".
    • Barret's ramble in the background of Episode 11 ends with a jab towards Kingdom Hearts and its Sequel Gap between games II and III.
    • Episode 16 has one to microtransactions (especially the "Buy fake currency with real money" kind), and since it was released around the time of the release of Star Wars Battlefront II (2017) (a game with a large controversy regarding its pay-to-win mentality), it makes it even funnier.
      • Mocked further in episode 23, as Dio listened to Cloud's complaints about GP... and instead went with Loot Saucers. One conversation with Coates later, and he finds out he's now bankrupt for how poorly that idea went over.
    • Episode 16 also has another allusion to Final Fantasy VIII when someone floats the idea that Sephiroth might have added a gun to his sword, which Cloud dismisses because he could see someone cutting their own face with that setup.
    • In episode 23, Cloud has an offscreen conversation with "some guy with a gunblade", which ends with them agreeing that 13 is the worst number.
  • Teeth-Clenched Teamwork: Nobody in AVALANCHE actually seems to like working with each other; though they all gang up on Cloud, they're just as likely to bicker with each other while on a mission. Even as the rest of the team starts becoming Fire-Forged Friends, Aerith and Tifa are clearly not pleased with each other's presence (Aerith sees Tifa as a rival for Cloud's affections, and Tifa finds Aerith annoying).
  • Tempting Fate:
    • Episode 3: Cloud psyches himself up for the day saying he'll survive this. Gilligan Cut to him plummeting to his apparent doom.
    • Episode 13: The group has no leads with the Turks ahead of them and Red is still higher than a hippie on an airplane, and Tifa sarcastically asks for another headache from the universe.
    Yuffie: Surprise attaaaaaaack! *Fight Woosh*
  • Theme Naming: It turns out all freedom fighter groups are named after natural disasters. Besides AVALANCHE and TSUNAMI, there's also BLIZZARD, SANDSTORM, HURRICANE, and QUAKE.
    Yuffie: Ooooh, QUAKE sounds awesome!
    Barret: No! QUAKE sucks! They're a bunch of assholes!
  • Timed Mission: Also parodied to hell. Cloud attempts to set the bomb's time to ten minutes. Unfortunately, he sets it to five, then to one minute, to Barret's irritation.
  • True Companions: For all their bickering, shouting at each other, squables, and rivalry, the group has stuck together throughout their adventures and gradually has become closer as the series goes on. Cemented in episode 22 as Tifa declares they're family, complete with Yuffie listing off each character relationship.
  • Unfortunate Names: In episode 11, we meet the man who trained Tifa, who describes his dojo as "The Dungeon of Fisting", causing Tifa to get defensive. Then when challenged, Tifa has a hard time naming 3 attacks of hers that don't also sound like sex acts. Out of frustration, she threatens to Dolphin Blow them.
  • Unsettling Gender Reveal: Invoked, but subverted, Don Corneo isn't deterred by Cloud revealing that he's a guy.
  • Unwanted Assistance: As Cloud is setting up a bomb and Barret nagging him on what to do. Well... See above.
    Barret: Now, set the timer.
    Cloud: I don't need you micromanaging me okay?
    Barret: Oh really?! Because after the events of today, I would have to respectfully disagree! Now set the timer.
  • Vitriolic Best Buds: For all their sniping and insulting each other, Cloud and Tifa appear to genuinely care for each other. Cloud and Barret also seem to grow into this as well.
  • Walking Shirtless Scene: Dio just wears a pair of speedos.
  • Waxing Lyrical: In Episode 11's flashback to the Nibelheim Incident, Cloud twice says things to the lyrical structure of "One Winged Angel," even ending the second time with "SEPHIROTH!"
  • Wham Episode: Episode 25 with Aerith's death played completely straight without any humor, surprisingly somber for a comedic abridged series.
  • Wham Line:
    • Episode 11 fully cements Sephiroth's status as a No-Nonsense Nemesis by taking things even further than his canon counterpart.
    Sephiroth: I murdered your mother, Cloud.
    Dyne: Take care of her. Treat her as your own. And live by these words: Don't. Fuck. Up.
  • What an Idiot!: Palmer is an in-universe example; somehow believing that burning gil allows him to buy sections of space. Even President Shinra, who'd just earlier levelled part of his own city to crush a tiny resistance, agrees with Reeve that Palmer shouldn't be in charge of their space program budget.
  • What the Hell, Hero?: At the end of Episode 10, Cloud finally gets fed up with Tifa constantly belittling him and furiously calls her out on blackmailing him into joining AVALANCHE despite claiming to be his friend, followed by him accusing her of treating him so poorly because she hasn't gotten over her father's murder yet. Ouch.
  • With Lyrics: Yuffie tends to sing along to whatever tune is relevent to their current situation. In episode 15, she chants along to the victory fanfare.
  • Wingding Eyes:
    Red XIII: Maybe they sell antidotes at the buffet over there.
    Barret: Red, you know that's a chocobo farm, right?
    Red XIII: [With fried chicken wings in his eyes] Buffffffffff-èèèèèèèèt
  • With Friends Like These...: Cloud's friends are a psychobitch who's been extorting him since childhood and threatens him with blackmail if he doesn't follow through, and a terrorist who dropped the blame on him for every one of his actions in front of President Shinra. Cloud lampshades this when he meets Aerith, which isn't helped by the reveal of AVALANCHE betting on when they thought he would die.
  • Yandere: Aerith's Clingy Jealous Girl behavior starts crossing into this in around episode 14, where she 'accidentally' destroys the Shiva Materianote  after Cloud remarks on how beautiful the summoned goddess is.
  • Your Terrorists Are Our Freedom Fighters: Directly invoked in Episode 2, where Tifa and Cloud argue about what AVALANCHE is doing:
    Tifa: Oh, come on! How is destroying a factory that sucks the life out of the planet terrorism?!
    Cloud:: Every— Every part of it was terrorism!

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