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Literature / Ugly Heaven

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Ugly Heaven is a Bizarro novel by Carlton Mellick III as a companion book to Jeffrey Thomas’s Beautiful Hell (though it does not share a canon).

Heaven is no longer a paradise. It was once a blissful utopia full of wonders far beyond human comprehension. But that was a long, long time ago. The afterlife is now in ruins. It has become an ugly, lonely wasteland populated by strange monstrous beasts, masturbating angels, and sad man-like beings wallowing in the remains of the once-great Kingdom of God.

As two men die and awake in Heaven, they find themselves inside of new bodies with strange alien skin. They no longer remember their previous lives. All they really know is that the afterlife is a horrible, ugly place. Desperately seeking answers, allies, and refuge, these two newcomers explore this surreal world. But what they will soon find is that Heaven has become a place not that much different from Hell.


This story provides examples of:

  • Bizarre Alien Biology: Everyone in Heaven is reborn into strange, semi-Barbie Doll Anatomy beings that do not feel pain, their senses are heightened, they cut themselves open to relieve themselves (and to have sex) and they give pieces of their bodies to each other as currency.
  • Black-and-White Morality: Back in Heaven’s Ye Goode Olde Days, the people there managed to find a way to separate themselves from their shadows (and by extension all of their evil). Now the shadows chase down anyone they find and try to attach themselves to their shadows and thus make them more evil. Subverted, as there is no actual proof that having a shadow attached to you makes you any more evil, since this happens to Tree but he does not act any different. They argue that people possess different degrees of evil and it would be unlikely that the change would be unnoticeable, but there is still no proof.
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  • Eldritch Location: Heaven. Definitely Heaven.
  • Our Angels Are Different: The Angels are tiny, Mutant cherub-esq creatures that "masturbate" pipes on their bodies to help them breath.


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