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I love you just the way you are.

"This was supposed to be my armor."
"What's that?" Pete asked, instantly alert."
"Oh, nothing," Robert stuttered, surprised he'd actually said the words out loud.
"It didn't sound like nothing. You can talk to me, you know."
"It's stupid."
"I doubt it. Go on, tell me. What about your armor?"
"It's just…" Robert sighed. "I used to be skinny."
Robert clarifies his spoken thoughts to Pete

At the age of 13, Robert realized he likes boys. Due to his conservative, religious, parents and background, Robert started coping via binge eating. By the time he starts college, he's gone from a skinny little kid to a chubby young adult.

His life changes when he meets his roommate, Pete. Robert is instantly drawn to Pete, though he tries squashing his own feelings. However, he finds they're just too strong to ignore.

When Robert finds out the feeling is mutual, he's torn between the world of his parents and his own sexuality. But, every time Pete says he likes Robert just the way he is, Robert's heart flutters. He's smitten, and he doesn't think there's any way to go back.

The Way You Are is a coming-of-age young adult novel by LJ Mile.


  • Abhorrent Admirer: Robert has one for a single chapter. The admirer-in-question is Jessica, a high school senior Robert's mother invites over. Results in a Matchmaker Failure.
  • Abusive Parents: Robert's parents are emotionally abusive, though his mom is a little less so than his father, hiding her criticisms behind an I-only-want-what's-best-for-you attitude. Either way, his parents' view of him leads to For Your Own Good and Tough Love.
  • Adults Are Useless: Specifically Robert's parents. Their conditional love, criticism, and stance on homosexuality have compounded his eating disorder. Moreover, their attempts to "help" him haven't helped him at all.
  • All Gays are Promiscuous: Averted. The story doesn't portray gay men as promiscuous. But, Robert's mother invokes the trope, "They can't help themselves."
  • All Gays Love Theater: Pete was a drama kid in high school. His favorite musical is Rent.
  • Angst: It wouldn't be a young adult novel without angst.
  • Angst Coma: This happens a few times within the book. Of particular note, it happens to Robert after a fight with Pete.
  • Anguished Outburst: This happens twice in the book. One happens while drunk.
  • Appearance Angst: Robert has this because of his parents' expectations and societal appearance norms.
  • Armoured Closet Gay: For half of the novel, Robert is this. As the story progresses, he gets better.
  • The Atoner: Robert vows to be a better boyfriend.
  • Attractiveness Discrimination: Played straight with Robert because of his body type. Robert ruminates being fat also provided the perfect excuse for why he never dated in high school. Averted in a later instance. When Robert goes home for winter break, his mother sets him up with a chubby girl. She instantly develops feelings for Robert after he compliments her in an attempt to make her feel better.
  • Bear Hug: A huge one is given to Pete after Robert comes back from one of his breaks from school.
  • Best Friend: Robert and Pete quickly become best friends.
  • Big Beautiful Man: In Pete's eyes, Robert is beautiful.
  • The Big Damn Kiss: Robert and Pete share a huge one near the end of the book. Just before Robert comes out to his parents, he does this right in front of a friend of his and Pete's.
  • Big Eater: At one point in the story, Robert orders two double cheeseburgers, two large fries, two orders of chicken nuggets, two apple pies, and a sundae from McDonald's.
  • Black Sheep: Because of his weight, Robert is the Black Sheep in his family. Near the book's ending, Robert's black sheep status is solidified after coming out to his parents.
  • Break-Up/Make-Up Scenario: Their brief split is this.
  • Broken Bird: Robert. Due to a combination of his upbringing and denial of his sexuality, Robert isn't a picture of good mental health.
  • Cannot Spit It Out: Robert has a hard time expressing his feelings. Sadly, this contributes to his eating disorder.
  • Caught with Your Pants Down: Not of the masturbatory nature, but treated that way by the person being caught.
  • Character Development: The main character goes through quite a bit of character development as the book progresses. He goes from someone who abhors himself to someone that can accept the way he is, as well as love himself.
  • Characterization Marches On: There's a huge amount of difference between Chapter 1 Robert versus Epilogue Robert. Justified because of a time jump.
  • Chocolate of Romance: Played with. In a bid to elicit a smile from Pete, a drunken Robert tries to feed Pete a piece of chocolate.
  • Chubby Chaser: Pete. He doesn't find skinny men unattractive, he just finds bigger men more attractive.
  • Closet Gay: During most of the book, Robert is only out to Pete. Eventually, Robert comes out to Pete's mother, he and Pete's suitemate Erick, then his parents. In the epilogue, he's out and proud.
  • Closet Key: Robert's happened around the time he was 13. Specifically, in the form of his 16-year-old neighbor, Jeremy Irons.
  • Coax Them Out of the Closet: Pete suggests Robert come out of the closet a few times throughout the story.
  • Cooldown Hug: Attempted a few times throughout the book with varying results. After coming out to his parents and being rejected, Robert has a breakdown. Pete tries this tactic to calm him down, but it doesn't work.
  • Comfort Food: A lot of the food Robert binge eats (and stuff he typically consumes outside of his binges) qualifies as Comfort Food.
  • Coming Of Age Queer Romance: The whole book is Robert's journey toward accepting his sexuality.
  • Coming-Out Story: Specifically Robert's story, though Pete has his own coming out moment early in the story.
  • Consolation Backfire: After their split, Robert attempts to console himself with the thought that he would no longer be lying to his parents about his romantic life, along with many other reasons. It's unsuccessful.
  • Coquettish Lip Biting: Pete does this while showing his reaction to Robert's playing tag football.
  • Crush Blush: Both Pete and Robert are prone to blushing.
  • Cry into Chest: Robert does this.
  • Dark and Troubled Past: Starts at the age of thirteen for Robert.
  • Darkest Hour: The main character has his darkest hour after finally having had enough with the state of his life. Fed up with lying to his parents and fed up with the way they treat him, along with his anger over their treatment of Pete, Robert comes out to his parents. Sadly, they can't accept it and disown him. This leads to a deep depression episode.
  • Delicious Distraction: Robert started using food as a distraction when he was thirteen.
  • Depraved Homosexual: Invoked by Robert's parents. They even attempt to get Robert assigned to a new room just to get him away from Pete.
  • Despair Event Horizon: Considering his parents' deeply religious views, and the stereotypes they believe, it's no surprise Robert has one.
  • Devoted to You: Robert can't imagine life without Pete. Just imagining it scares him.
  • Dismissing a Compliment: Initially, Robert is surprised Pete finds him attractive since his looks have always been viewed in the negative. He thinks Pete is just being nice.
  • Downer Beginning: The prologue shows the beginning of Robert's eating disorder. Food distracted him from his thoughts.
  • Dysfunctional Family: Subverted in Robert's case. Robert's family life appears functional, but is anything but. Both of his parents don't love him unconditionally. It's more apparent with his father than his mother.
  • Drowning My Sorrows: Twice. Both times, Robert only drinks to drown his sorrows. He muses that if alcohol were available to him as a kid, he'd be well on his way to being a full-blown drunk.
  • Dumb Struck: Sometimes happens to Robert.
  • Eating the Eye Candy: Both Pete and Robert. Though, in the former's case, it's never completely shown from his point of view.
  • End of an Age: Robert goes through a few of these.
    • The first one is when he begins to realize his sexual identity. His happy childhood effectively ended the day he saw his Closet Key.
    • Then, he temporarily loses his best friend.
    • Finally, his family relationship is forever altered.
  • Earn Your Happy Ending: And how! In Robert's case, he needs to learn to accept himself and overcome his issues.
  • Estranged Soap Family: Robert's parents don't love him unconditionally. They won't even attend his college graduation during the epilogue.
  • Everybody Cries: Justified with both Robert and Pete. Understandably, Robert's mental issues lead to a lot of crying.
  • Family of Choice: Robert views Pete and his family as his own. The same goes for Pete's family.
  • Fat and Skinny: Respectively, Robert and Pete.
  • Fat Best Friend: Robert becomes Pete's best friend.
  • Fat Slob: Robert temporarily has a slob phase. Also, invoked by his father when telling Robert his weight could affect his employability.
  • Fell Asleep Crying: Robert has done this.
  • First Love: Pete is Robert's first love. Implied with Pete, but never outright stated.
  • Five Stages of Grief: Robert goes through each stage throughout the book.
  • Flat Character: Robert is the only character given any characterization.
  • Forgets to Eat: Inverted due to Robert's eating disorder. Subverted because he replaces meals with sweets.
  • Formerly Fit: Before his LGBT Awakening, Robert was skinny. Afterwards, he slowly started gaining weight.
  • Freakiness Shame: Applies to Robert's weight and sexual identity.
  • Friendless Background: Implied with Robert. When he thinks about losing Pete as a friend, he never wants to make another friend again so he can avoid the sadness.
  • Friends with Benefits: This is what leads to Robert and Pete becoming boyfriends.
  • Gayngst: This is what leads to Robert's eating disorder.
  • God Is Good: The main character hails from a religious background. Robert eventually distances himself from said background, but it's implied he simply changed his mind on some of those beliefs.
  • Guilt Complex: Whenever his parents bring up the subject of his weight, Robert feels guilty.
    • He also feels a considerable amount of guilt over his sexuality at the beginning of the book.
  • Guilty Pleasures: Robert feels guilty when eating around his parents.
  • Has a Type: Pete likes his men big.
  • Happily Ever After: It could also be interpreted as a Bittersweet Ending.
  • Heartbreak and Ice Cream: When Robert binges, it's either due to sadness and/or stress. Many of his binges involve sweets.
  • Heartfelt Apology: Robert gives these to anybody he's unintentionally hurt.
  • Heroic BSoD: Happens to Robert a few times. Most notably after he and his parents have their falling out.
  • His Own Worst Enemy: Robert is his own worst enemy before his temporary breakup with Pete. Also applies with his binge eating.
  • Hollywood Kiss: Robert and Pete share these. Neither one of them has complaints about the other's ability to kiss.
  • Hope Spot: Robert's visit with his parents during spring break causes him a huge amount of stress, but he instantly feels better the moment he enters his dorm room and sees Pete. Unfortunately, he forgot to grab the scale his mother had given him as a gift, prompting his parents to bring in the scale to his room. On top of that, Robert forgot to lock the door. Drama Ensues.
  • Hug and Comment: Robert and Pete have these moments, but Robert has a bad one with his mother. She hugs him, but then comments on his weight…
  • I Am Not Pretty: Robert is convinced he's unattractive. Pete begs to differ.
  • I Can't Believe a Guy Like You Would Notice Me: At first, Robert has a hard time believing Pete genuinely likes him. Before meeting Pete, no one had shown any romantic interest in him.
  • Identity Breakdown: For half of the book, Robert wrestles with accepting his sexual identity and how it could affect his familial relationships.
  • I Have No Son!: Invoked. His mother practically says it to him after he comes out.
  • I Should Have Been Better: These moments are especially prevalent when Robert is visiting his parents.
  • Imagine Spot: It happens during a car ride while his father is talking at him about the future. As Robert visualizes his future, he sees himself coming home to Pete.
  • Insecure Love Interest: Robert… My God, Robert! Considering his upbringing, his insecurity makes sense.
  • Internalized Categorism: Robert's internalized homophobia.
  • The Internet Is for Porn: Robert finds out Pete's sexuality when he catches the latter watching porn.
  • Interrupted Intimacy: Played straight. Robert's parents walk in on Robert and Pete kissing. Drama Ensues.
  • It's All My Fault: Robert has a bad habit of blaming himself for the shortcomings his parents see.
  • It's Not You, It's Me: Robert says this to Pete while explaining some of his behavior. Upon seeing what Pete was watching on his computer, Robert freaks out. Later on, when Pete is trying to explain himself, Robert says it's wrong. However, he wasn't referring to Pete, he was referring to himself.
  • It's Okay to Cry: Normally, Pete would rather Robert eat because he's hungry or enjoying a snack, not because he's nervous. However, there is one in-the-moment instance where he's totally fine with Robert using his go-to of binge eating for comfort. It's a weird variation of It's Okay to Cry. Also played straight in different instances.
  • Just the Way You Are: Pete loves Robert as is.
  • Kissing Under the Influence: Thanks to some Liquid Courage, Robert does this.
  • Knight in Shining Armor: Robert views Pete as a knight in shining armor-type, as well as the rest of Pete's family. Considering Robert's upbringing, this should be no surprise.
  • LGBT Awakening: Courtesy of his Closet Key. Robert realizes he's attracted to men when he sees his 16-year-old neighbor, Jeremy Irons, shirtless.
  • Love Epiphany: Early on, Robert realizes he's falling for Pete, and vice versa.
  • Love Hurts: Their breakup isn't due to a lack of feelings but fear of being hurt.
  • Love Interest: Robert starts off in denial about his attraction to Pete. He quickly realizes that he's experiencing feelings for his roommate.
  • Love-Obstructing Parents: Though clueless about their son's feelings throughout most of the story, Robert parents are this for Pete. Albeit unknowingly.
  • Love Redeems: Robert becomes a mentally healthier person because of love.
  • Made Myself Sad: Thinking about his life causes Robert's sadness to escalate. Truth in Television.
  • A Man Is Always Eager: Watching Robert play tag football gets Pete going.
    • Seeing Pete's reaction gets Robert going.
  • Man Hug: Played straight with Robert, but averted with his father (who prefers a handshake over physical affection).
  • The Matchmaker: Much to his annoyance, Robert's mother will play matchmaker for her son.
  • Matchmaker Failure: … And his mother fails because she sets him up with a girl, being completely oblivious to her son's sexuality.
  • Meet the In-Laws: Robert meets Pete's mother before anybody else is aware they are in a relationship.
  • Men Don't Cry: Averted. Considering the subject matter, it's justified.
  • Mess of Woe: Robert has his fair share of breakdowns throughout the story.
  • Misery Builds Character: See Characterization Marches On.
  • Moment of Weakness: Poor Robert has many of these due to his depression. He copes via binge eating.
  • Mood Whiplash: Happens at the end of Robert's spring break. When Robert finally gets back from spring break, his stress instantly melts away when he sees Pete. Unfortunately, it returns the moment his parents walk in on him and Pete kissing.
  • Must Make Amends: Robert contemplates ways to make up for not calling Pete during winter break.
  • My God, What Have I Done?: Robert has two specific moments. Especially near the end of the book. Upon being caught by his parents, Robert literally pushes Pete away, inadvertently physically hurting him in the process. After his parents leave to arrange a new roommate for him, Robert realizes what he did and nearly spits out the phrase.
  • My Greatest Failure: Robert views his weight as his greatest failure.
  • Nice Guy: Robert doesn't want to hurt anybody, but it happens despite his good intentions. In fact, one of his attempts at being nice backfires spectacularly.
  • Now or Never Kiss: There's a few sprinkled here and there. A notable example occurs before Robert and Pete confront the former's parents.
  • Not Under the Parents' Roof: Should Robert stay at Pete's house, this rule is implied. Specifically, Pete's mother tells Robert she and her husband are a little old-fashioned in the sense that Robert and Pete would have separate rooms.
  • Obsessed with Food: When Robert is binge eating, he's obsessed with eating more. However, this isn't the case when Pete is making him happy.
  • Odd Couple: Robert is a chubby computer whiz introvert. Pete is a skinny liberal arts extrovert. Together, they fall in love!
  • Official Couple: Robert & Pete.
  • Official Couple Ordeal Syndrome: And how! Not only does Robert's eating disorder cause issues, but Robert's religious parents are an obstacle.
  • Oh, Crap!: Robert has a few of these moments, but one notable example occurs after he witnesses Pete kissing someone else.
    • Pete has his own when he finds out Robert witnessed the kiss.
  • One Head Taller: Shown on the book cover.
  • One-Hour Work Week: Schoolwork is only mentioned, never shown.
  • One Thing Led to Another: Upon being asked how they ended up dating, Robert is mortified at the idea of telling Pete's mother about how he found out Pete's sexuality. Neither he or Pete go into detail.
    • Also, since Pete's five-year-old sister is having a meal with them at the same time, it's a good idea to keep details minimal.
  • One True Love: Robert and Pete are each other's one true love.
  • Opposites Attract: See Odd Couple.
  • Parents Walk In at the Worst Time: Robert's parents need to learn how to knock.
  • Paralyzing Fear of Sexuality: At first, Robert can't even mentally describe himself as gay, only referring to it as "that feeling" or "the feeling".
    • He also can't bring himself to say the word "boyfriend" until moments before he and Pete reconcile.
  • The Patriarch: Robert's dad, whom Robert describes as a manly man.
  • Please, Don't Leave Me: Invoked by Robert. Twice.
  • Please, I Will Do Anything!: Robert would even lose weight if it meant getting Pete back. This happens after a drunken Robert witnesses Pete sharing a kiss with his blind date. Robert echoes this sentiment the morning after, but instead of saying he'll lose weight, he promises to meet Pete's mother as his boyfriend.
  • Post-Stress Overeating: Robert binge eats whenever stressed.
  • Popping Buttons: Weight gains lead to Robert's clothing not fitting him.
  • Pre-Climax Climax: Pete and Robert have sex far before the story climaxes.
  • Pretty Boy: This is how Robert views Pete. Erick sets Pete up with one during his and Robert's split.
  • Prone to Tears: Robert. Though, so is Pete. Justified considering the plot.
  • Punctuated! For! Emphasis!: Pete does this to drive the point home.
  • Ready for Lovemaking: After watching Robert playing tag football, Pete shows Robert his reaction.
  • Real Men Hate Affection: Applies to Robert's father. Instead of hugging his son, Robert's father shakes his hand.
  • Reunion Kiss: Twice
  • The Reveal Prompts Romance: A drunken advance leads to the reveal. Subverted because Robert doesn't outright say he's gay, but there's enough evidence for Pete to surmise the truth.
  • Romantic Ribbing: Attempted by Robert, but he finds his attempt cheesy. Pete doesn't seem to mind.
  • Rounded Character: Robert. Not just as a character, but literally. Of course, considering he's the main character…
  • Rule of Romantic: In their dorm room, Robert and Pete have many romantic moments. One notable example is watching movies together.
  • Safe Zone Hope Spot: For the most part, Robert's dorm room has been his safe space throughout the story. Sadly, it only takes one moment of letting his guard down for Robert to find himself in a Hope Spot.
  • Satellite Love Interest: Other than being the love interest for the main character, Pete doesn't get much characterization. Readers don't get to see anything from his point of view, just Robert's.
  • The Scapegoat: Pete offers to be this. Unfortunately, this would be justifying Robert's parents' Depraved Homosexual views.
  • Second-Act Breakup: Albeit a short one.
  • Secret Relationship: A driving force of the plot.
  • Sex Is Liberation: In Robert's case, it is, but only during the moment. After everything is said and done though, Sex Is Liberation leads to Robert having a better life.
  • Sex Miseducation Class: Pete laments the current state of sex education for queer kids.
  • Sexy Discretion Shot: The few sex scenes aren't very graphic.
  • Silence of Sadness: At one point, Robert is so depressed he can only answer with short grunts of acknowledgment in simple yeses or noes.
  • Sleep Cute: Happens after Robert opens up to Pete.
  • Smitten Teenage Girl: Robert attempts to comfort a girl by telling her she's fine just the way she is. She instantly develops a crush on him.
  • So Proud of You: Whenever Robert shows a step toward better mental health, Pete is proud.
  • Static Character: Everyone else except Robert.
  • Stood Up: Pete asks Robert to call him during winter break, but Robert never does. Naturally, Pete is angry about this.
  • Stupid Sexy Friend: Pete starts off as this for Robert.
  • Sweetheart Sipping: An ice cream sundae in lieu of a milkshake.
  • Sweet Tooth: Robert has a definite sweet tooth. Many of his snacks are sweets.
  • Taking the Heat: Pete offers to do this. After Robert's parents disown him, Pete offers to take the heat so Robert's parents will only blame him for their falling out. Unfortunately, this would be painting himself as a predator trying to seduce their son.
  • Tears of Remorse: Robert cries these tears after hurting Pete.
  • Temporary Bulk Change: Robert's weight fluctuates throughout the story.
  • This Is Unforgivable!: Robert knows his parents will never accept him if they find out he's gay. Once they know, his parents completely disown him. Though, in the epilogue, it's mentioned Robert's mother talked with him on the phone when he recently called. However, seeing as we're talking about the epilogue, this isn't explored.
  • Too Unhappy to Be Hungry: Played with. Robert's binge eating is due to sadness and stress, not because he's hungry.
  • Tragic Hero: Robert goes through a lot of heartbreak.
  • Trauma Conga Line: Robert… So much Robert! He's been through the ringer, all right.
  • Unable to Cry: During his deepest depression, Robert reaches this point.
  • Underdressed for the Occasion: Invoked by Robert. Pete and his family invite Robert to dinner, but all Robert has to wear is dirty clothing. His clean clothes don't fit because of his recent weight gains.
  • Unresolved Sexual Tension: Internally lampshaded by Robert.
  • Wake-Up Call: Robert has one. Specifically, he witnesses Pete kissing another man after their breakup.
  • A Weighty Aesop: Binge eating will exacerbate your issues.
  • Weight Woe: Robert has these woes, but they're usually much more prevalent around his parents.
  • You Are Better Than You Think You Are: Pete assures Robert of this.
  • You Are Fat: Averted. Outright stated by Pete's little sister, but she didn't mean anything bad.
  • You Are Not Alone: Pete makes Robert feel a lot less alone. He can also relate to his Abhorrent Admirer because like her, he knows what it's like to be looked down upon because of appearance.


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