Oscar Legbo loves everyone. Not in a creepy stalkerish way, or a hot, sweaty, I-want-you-to-have-my-babies sort of way, but he loves everyone nonetheless.
He loves insects, having denounced his youthful insect-torturing ways, and will do everything in his power to protect them from harm. With their help, he will win. He loves his cycling coach, whose unorthodox training methods spurred Oscar to seven straight racing victories, before said coach died in a freak accident. In his honor, he will win. He loves the spectators, and hopes to spread his message of love to them by winning this race. He even loves his fellow cyclists, even the monsters who think nothing of squishing the poor helpless, defenseless insects, and the weirdo who loves walruses.
This is Oscar's eighth race. He is determined to win. This being bizarro world, however, what happens during the race can only be described as The Greatest Fucking Moment in Sports.
This story contains examples of:
- Bizarro Fiction
- Friend to All Living Things: Oscar.
- Intentionally Awkward Title
- Ninja: We don't know where he came from, either.
- Off with His Head!: And he keeps going.
- Serial Escalation: Its the nature sports for athelets to continue topping each other into the distant future.
- Serious Business: Oscar's impending victory causes worldwide riots and orgies. Sometimes in the same location. Then his death causes mass suicides.
- Training from Hell