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Literature / Sea of the Patchwork Cats

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Sea Of the Patchwork Cats
Everyone in the world committed suicide at the same time . . .

Thus begins the surreal tale of an old man living alone in an empty world after everyone else on Earth killed themselves for no particular reason at all. In search for other survivors, he drifts in a floating house out to sea until he comes to a mysterious structure in the middle of the ocean. It is a building shaped like two giant nude women conjoined at the back. And issuing from a lighted window, echoing on the ghostly wind, is the sound of hundreds of meowing patchwork cats.

Sea of the Patchwork Cats is a sad dreamlike tale set in the quiet ashes of the human race. A must-read for Mellick enthusiasts who also adore The Twilight Zone.


This work provides examples of:

  • Adam and Eve Plot: With Jen digested and Kara killed by the Queen of Cats, Conrad and Jaji are now the last humans on the planet (if Jaji even counts), the ending having Jaji pregnant while Conrad contemplates the future.
  • Animal Motifs
    • Jaji is a snake
    • Kara is a falcon
    • Jen is a dalmation
    • The Queen of Cats to cats
  • Bittersweet Ending: Conrad and Jaji live in the manor, treating themselves to the luxuries there-in with a baby on the way after Jaji ate Jen, Kara's head hatched cats like an egg and the Queen of Cat's intentions on keeping them both immortal to produce human children for her to kill forever. And ever. Literally forever.
  • Eldritch Location: The castle in the middle of the ocean. Is full of endless wonders, great food, cats are rampant and is controlled by a mysterious and nearly omnipotent sea-witch that prey on sailors for reproduction.
  • Face Full of Alien Wing-Wong: The Queen of Cats can turn people's heads into an egg for a litter of cats to hatch out of, calling them her "babies."
  • Fountain of Youth: The Queen of Cats makes Conrad younger.
  • Fridge Logic: Lampshaded. Conrad ponders about the now unattended animals at the local zoo.
  • Harping on About Harpies: Kara's DNA was spliced with falcon DNA.
  • Humanoid Female Animal: Subverted. Jaji, Kara and Jen were human once.
  • Laser-Guided Amnesia: After thawing out, Jaji, Kara and Jen all have amnesia to varying degrees of intensity.
  • Love Hurts: Kara is found over the course of a few days, her body covered in welts and bruises. She denies all of it, claiming that "she loves [her]". It is shown that the Queen of Cats uses her tentacles to "impregnate" her while also stimulating her sexually.
  • Made a Slave: A shady black market business kidnaps junkies, strippers, prostitutes and other people that won't be missed or remembered. There they are mutated with animal DNA and have their memories altered for rich men who want "something exotic."
  • Never Trust a Title: The sea is not composed of cats, nor are any of the cats in the book "patchwork." Some have spots and are different colors, but still.
  • Reptiles Are Abhorrent: Jaji does not seem to care that she tried eating Conrad or that she did eat Jen, nor does she miss Kara all that much.
  • Riddle for the Ages: We never do find out why everyone turned suicidal at the exact same moment, or why the DNA-altering sex-slave ring built their secret lab to float.
  • Slept Through the Apocalypse: Conrad survived the end of the human race by being passed-out drunk while Jaji, Kara and Jen were frozen in cryo-sleep.
  • Snake People: Jaji's DNA was spliced with snake DNA.
  • Suicide Pact: The end of humanity happens when everyone on the planet - for no real discernible reason - commits suicide.
  • Swallowed Whole: Driven by her snake-instincts, Jaji nearly swallows Conrad whole. She later succeeds with Jen.
  • Token Human: Conrad is the only living human character in the whole story.
  • Token Wholesome: While Jen has the brain of a dog and Jaji has selective-amnesia/doesn't give a shit, Kara tries to cover her breasts with her feathered arms and has developed a distaste towards Conrad's presence.


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