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Literature / President Me

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Your next President, ladies and gents. Mahalo.

President Me: The America That's In My Head is the third full-length book (fifth overall) by Adam Carolla. Like his previous books, it is a collection of essays, rants and comedic observation, this time focusing on the changes to the country he would make if elected president.

Adam goes through all the different departments of government, citing what they are doing wrong, and suggesting what he would do to make it right. Many of these are comical and silly, while others, while maintaining humor, are actually fairly good ideas, if often impractical. He also gives a few faux speeches he would make to the U.N. and to Congress (State of the Union). Additionally, he names a new head of each govt. department, mostly his celebrity friends.


President Me presents the following tropes:

  • Anti-Frustration Features: Offers several.
    • Would make radar detectors mandatory on all cars.
    • Hotel rooms would be required to have one standard shower dial set up.
    • Additionally, hotel remotes will be standard.
    • Hotel rooms will also be required to have a DVR. Can you tell he stays at a lot of hotels?
  • Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Many of Adam's hot button annoyances in life would be made into crimes with heavy reprocussions, like restaurants with loud DJ's playing crappy techno music, and bringing "emotional companion" dogs on flights.
  • Berserk Button: Adam's normal hot buttons are listed here (along with his plan to fix them), including:
    • Passion fruit flavored ice tea
    • Emotional companion dogs
    • People taking their shoes off in public places
    • Modern (shitty) music
    • Antiquated speed limits and "chicken shit" cops giving out tickets for it (and parking)
    • PSA billboards for seat belts
    • Zuccini
    • Lack of competition in government breeding laziness
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  • Bonus Material: Like his previous two books, the audio version of the book, read by Adam himself, is quite different, as he goes on different tangents from the written work while recording it.
  • Dumbass DJ: Ranted on at length, mostly citing "white boy" DJ's who are essentially jacking off with their mac books and not playing what the crowd wants to hear.
  • Noble Bigot: Played with. He is critical of blacks and hispanics (and often whites) of their cultures, particularly the lack of strong family units. However, he does offer answers to their problems, while at the same times praising Asians and Jews (and Indians to a degree) for their strong family values and focus on education, citing its why they are kicking everyone else's butts in academics and careers.
    • However averted with the Middle East: He's openly hostile towards their cultures and especially their treatment of women; his policy on them would be to remove all reliance on oil from that region and leave them to their own devices.
  • Smug Snake: Whenever Adam writes a sentence he finds particularly clever, he puts an icon of his nose sniffing self satisfyingly next to it.
  • Stunt Casting: Invoked. Almost all his Department Heads would be famous people he's friends with.

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