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Literature / My Dark and Fearsome Queen

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My Dark and Fearsome Queen is a novel series by Sean O'Hara consisting of one volume so far.

When Erik Schumacher goes to the library after class, all he wants is something to read. Unfortunately for him, the girls of the Lysander Spooner High School Drama Club have different ideas. You see, for some odd reason all the guys in the club quit en masse, and as there aren't many plays for an all-female cast, the remaining club members are desperate for new recruits. And Erik is exactly what they're looking for—namely, he has a really cute ass. If he can act, that'll be a nice bonus.

But Erik soon discovers there's more to the club than meets the eye. You see, the club president is actually a deposed queen from an alternate dimension who's had her memories erased, and the other girls in the club are there to guard her, both from former subjects seeking revenge and loyalists who want to break her out.

My Dark and Fearsome Queen provides examples of the following tropes:

  • Absurdly Powerful Student Council:
    • After hearing that a teacher was harassing a transgender student, Rogan sends an agent of the "Student Council Security Bureau" to investigate.
    • Not just the student council. The Drama Club has keys to the school and access to the security cameras.
  • Abusive Parents: Several of Erik's friends from Japan, most notably Catie whose dad used her as an ashtray.
  • Anachronic Order: In the first book, chapter numbers indicate the order in which they take place, which is different from the order they appear. I.e., Chapter 2 comes after Chapter 4, and the prologue appears right before the epilogue.
  • Belligerent Sexual Tension:
    • Everyone sees Erik and Jensen this way.
    • Jensen points out that Josie and Erik have the same dynamic, but nobody else sees it.
  • Berserk Button: Don't mention Hanno to Jensen.
  • Big Brother Bully: The flashback at the end of the first book shows that Erik was pretty cruel to his brother.
  • Black-and-Gray Morality: From everything we're told, Enmity wasn't a particularly nice queen to live under, and Dantalia is certainly evil, but that sure doesn't mean the Drama Club are good guys, as Jensen is the first to admit.
  • Bomb Whistle: From an exploding water heater.
  • Bond Villain Stupidity:
    • Erik's entire plan for facing down Titania is to keep her talking until help arrives. She knows this. She does it anyway because she figures her cavalry is closer than Erik's.
    • Dantalia refrains from killing Jensen so she can give her a slow and painful death later.
  • Catholic School Girls Rule: Erik uses a website for Catholic schoolgirl fetishists to identify the uniforms Ea and Titania were wearing.
  • Chained to a Bed: Nonsexual example: When Erik was a child, his dad had his MP friend handcuff Erik to a bed to teach him a lesson. And then forgot about him for a couple hours. Since his dad liked to tell the story at parties, Erik always thought it was a funny joke, but when he tells Jensen about it, she points out that, no, there's nothing remotely funny about it. Even the sadistic villains who overhear the story are horrified at it.
  • Chain-Link Fence: Jensen and Erik have to climb over one after getting jumped at school.
    • The fence isn't well maintained and there's a gap that people can get through if they want to skip school.
  • Cherry Blossoms: Erik's parents leave him home alone with Tim so they can see the cherry blossoms in Kyoto.
  • Club Stub: With no faculty sponsor, the Drama Club officially doesn't exist anymore, and even if they get her back, the lack of guys severely limits what plays they can do.
  • Cranium Chase: Inverted: it's Thalia's head that's trying to get back her dismembered body.
  • Crippling Overspecialization: Thalia's powers are incantory, and the more precisely she needs to use them, the longer the incantation has to be. This renders her mostly useless in tactical situations. She describes herself as "a nuclear option," for times "when you want someone to stomp Tokyo."
  • Crowd Panic: An Eldritch Abomination rampaging through the parking lot of an apartment complex will tend to do that. The problem isn't so much the panic as the crowd — if they'd run in different directions they would've been safe, but by keeping together they became easy pickings.
    • Also when the car drives into the Foxtrot, everyone flees through the emergency exits. Too bad there were more cars outside.
  • Cultured Warrior: Jensen is from an important noble family in the Verdurous Realm, quotes Shakespeare, and personally led a dangerous assault against an enemy bastion during the final battle against Enmity.
  • Daywalking Vampire: Ligeia has no problems being outside during the day.
  • Death of Personality: Used on Enmity to make her think she's an ordinary school girl, and later Titania, who calls them on it:
    “And they say we’re the evil ones,” Titania says. “If the situation were reversed, I’d have the decency to kill them. But they—they’re going to destroy my mind and keep my body for their own purposes.”
    “Won’t be your body anymore,” Jensen says. “That’s the beauty of it.”
  • Deceptively Human Robots: Erik initially assumes that Dash is a robot since she acts emotionless, but it turns out the problem with programing emotions is on the other extreme and it's the crazily hyperactive Ryder who's the robot.
  • Distracted by the Sexy:
    “They’re boobs. Fully half the human race has them. They’re soft and they’re round and I’m sure they’re a delight to play with—not that you’re ever going to find out—but can we get focused on the important issues here?”
  • Don't Call Me "Sir": You know a situation is serious when a sergeant doesn't invoke this trope.
  • Drama Club
  • Eating Lunch Alone: Apparently before joining the club, Erik ate lunch at the top of a stairwell by himself.
  • Embarrassing First Name: Lucretia tells Erik to call her Jensen after he makes a quip about the Borgias.
  • Embarrassing Nickname: Folks, don't name your child Titania. No good will ever come of it.
  • The Evils of Free Will: Dantalia sees democracy as a form of anarchy from which our world needs to be rescued. When Erik objects that people here like the way things work, she analogizes herself to a parent forcing a child to swallow some medicine.
  • Expendable Alternate Universe: People from the Verdurous Realm see our world this way. To make matters worse, they're right — our universe is a shadow of their world, and any damage they cause here will auto correct itself. More or less.
  • Greasy Spoon: The Foxtrot. Described as the sort of place where the non-smoking section is a small room in the back. Popular with old folks in the early evening and goths late at night.
  • Great Offscreen War: The revolution against Enmity. We get a sketchy summary of the last battle from Ritu.
  • Guy on Guy Is Hot: Most of the girls in the series feel this way. Erik's said he's not opposed to the idea.
  • Homeschooled Kids: Asenath, Michaela and Rebekah fit the stereotype, though they actually go to a parochial school. Rebekah says she got an A+ in "Creation Science".
  • Hood Hopping: Jensen and Erik try to do this with parked cars. Too bad the person they're running from can remote control the vehicles.
  • I Call Him "Mister Happy": Apparently Erik's penis is named Mr. Winky. His ex-girlfriend came up with it. Really.
  • Insistent Terminology: It's 【ˈʃuːmaxɐ】 not Shoemaker.
  • It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time:
    "You gave the head of a goddess to some guy you met?"
    "Believe me, I had sound reasons for doing it, and it makes perfect sense in context."
  • Jammed Seatbelts: Inverted. During a car chase Jensen and Erik can't find the buckles for their seatbelts. Once Erik gets his latched, he realizes he used Jensen's buckle and hers won't reach his.
  • Kiss of the Vampire: Ligeia with Ty at the end of the first book.
  • Laser-Guided Amnesia: Used on Erik since his constant proximity to the Drama Club would otherwise prevent the Weirdness Censor from working.
  • Last-Minute Project: Erik's attempts to finish his homework at school keep getting interrupted. He resorts to Wikipedia for his social studies assignment.
  • Lousy Lovers Are Losers: Catie claims that Erik can barely satisfy her. Not surprising considering they've only been sexually active for a couple of weeks.
  • Military Brat: Erik, his brother Tim and all his friends from Japan.
  • My Sensors Indicate You Want to Tap That: Played with. After Erik's injured, he puts on a macho act and says it doesn't hurt. Jensen presses her hand against the wound and Dash comments that based upon Erik's increased breathing, body temperature and perspiration, he's either in extreme pain or sexually aroused.
  • New Era Speech: Dantalia explaining how she'll free our world from all its problems by becoming an absolute dictator and executing all who oppose her. Also, Jared Padalecki and David Tennant shall be her concubines.
  • "No Peeking!" Request: Erik loses his consciousness and wakes up to find Jensen and Dash stripped and washed him. When he asks the girls for some privacy so he can get dressed, Jensen dismissively tells him they've already seen everything and that there wasn't much to see.
  • One-Steve Limit:
    • Completely ignored. The Drama Club has five Lizes and a Bethy. Jensen tells Erik to refer to them by last name, but Enmity simply refers to "Liz" and everyone knows who she's referring to.
    • When the Lizes are first introduced, Liz Ryder gives a Shout-Out to Monty Python's Bruces sketch.
  • Pervert Dad: The way Erik's dad acts around Jensen is downright creepy.
  • Professional Sex Ed: A mild version: Erik has Claire give Tim love advice. He compares this to getting driving lessons from a NASCAR driver.
  • Raging Stiffie: After Buxrud gets carried away performing a kissy scene, Erik finds himself rather self-conscious of the bulge in his pants.
  • Robot Girl: Ryder. According to Jensen, large breasts are a convenient place for installing particle cannons. Though this doesn't explain why Ryder needs tampons.
  • Ruritania is a real country in this setting. Seems the events of The Prisoner of Zenda weren't good for the long-term health of the country. Also, Erik says he was born in Fenwick.