Literature / Lovbird

"My name's Lovebird! And I'm here to keep this garbage scour of a town from getting any worse!"

— Eve Excelsior

Not nearly as classy as the logo makes her out to be.

Lovbird is a Web Serial Novel and Affectionate Parody of the superhero genre, primarily lampooning the idea of the Hypercompetent Sidekick and the Hero of Another Story.

Eve Excelsior is an average teenage girl living who just wants to get more out of life, figure out a plan for her future, and confess her feelings to her crush. By sheer luck one day, she finds a magical mask that can transform her into a superheroine with top notch fighting skills and Hard Light ropes. Well, two outta three ain't bad. That's not all, though. The mask itself is considered highly dangerous, and belonged to the long-dead previous Lovebird, who's got her own past which nobody seems to keen on sharing with Eve.

So obviously, it's time for some night patrol!

Currently, three 'chapters' are available here.

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Provides Examples of:

• 20 Minutes into the Past: Judging by Felix's pep talk at the beginning, the series takes place in either 2010 or 2011.
• Armor-Piercing Question: Eve asks Crystal Caer why he doesn't just kill her, instead of just talking about it. He refuses to answer, and then accuses her of stalling.
• Artistic License – Biology: Gwen's arm was broken, but it wasn't a fracture. The description implied it was ripped out of her socket, which would mean it was not only dislocated, but it was her shoulder and not her forearm.
• Artistic License – Physics: Xander is thrown into a wall and knocked unconscious by a blast of electricity, and the discharge makes AJ's hair stand on end. Somehow, he's totally okay a few paragraphs later, potentially making this instance a variant of Tap on the Head.
  • Rule of Funny justifies the destroyed blimp careening across the sky like a popped balloon, despite the viewer being shown it has a metal frame.
• Astonishingly Appropriate Interruption: "See, this is why I only work with - Damien!"
• Badass Boast: The page quote.
• Black Comedy: Crystal Caer strangles a guy for speaking out of turn, then immediately drops him and whines about how his latte is late.
  • There's also this line.
  AJ: We're not trying to kill him!
  Bebe: Then what is the point of all this, really?
• Bond Villain Stupidity: A rare exploited case. Quartz pretends to let Lovebird get away so that she won't get hurt. Played straight when Crystal Caer locks her in a room after a minor Villainous Breakdown.
• "Could Have Avoided This!" Plot: Bebe Cannot Spit It Out that Quartz's secret identity is Eve's crush out of fear that she'd think she's just jealous. When Mercedes and AJ find out, they explain to her that Eve wouldn't care and would have believed her.
• Deconstructor Fleet: To a vast swath of Superhero Tropes, and a handful of others. It dips a bit into Decon-Recon Switch at times.
• Didn't Think This Through: Double subverted. They formulate a plan, but then immediately forget about it and charge into battle for the sake of Rule of Cool.
  Mercedes: Wait, weren't we supposed to, like, attack from the sides?
• Differently Powered Individual: "Supers" for superheroes and "Baddies" for villains.
• Distinction Without a Difference:
  Leslie: Are you calling about the anonymous manila folder of candids, ma’am?
  Lovebird: No, I’m talking about all the pictures I sent you. They’re in like, this big orange envelope.
• Disney Death: Bebe.
• Disney Villain Death: Subverted with Quartz.
• Establishing Series Moment: The opening scene involves three unnamed superheroes fighting a giant hulk of a supervillain. The female hero gets tossed through a window... and then immediately apologizes to the couple inside, asks if everyone's okay, and offers to pay for the damages as she jumps back into battle. The wife then gets a broom and dustpan for the husband to clean up.
• Explain, Explain... Oh, Crap!: Lovebird slowly realizes that Damien tipped off Weathervane at the end, seconds after her shoe drops.
• Eye Scream: Quartz gets both a black eye from Lovbird kicking him in the face, and cracking a few ribs when he falls out of the blimp.
• Gilligan Cut: Two in a row. Eve says that they'll be given advice for their next battle if they come clean. Cut to Fawaz screaming at them for being irresponsible. She then grumbles that the other kids got off easy. Cut to Crystal Caer screaming at them for being irresponsible.
• Hypocritical Humor: Crystal Caer claims Eve was stalling for Weathervane and Midnight Crawler to show up, despite he himself stalling to kill her.
  • Eve tells her friends that she'll get over Damien upon finding out his true allegiance. The second she finds out he's okay, she rushes over to him and glomps him.
• Idiot Ball: For all of his Pragmatic Villainy, Quartz grabs onto the ball for a minute when he tries to grab Lovebird. He gets a foot to the face for this attempt.
• Inherited Illiteracy Title: Most likely to avoid My Name Is Not Shazam.
• Injured Limb Episode: On their first 'night patrol', Beautyfly gets her arm broken, and the rest of the girls spend the vast majority of the battle running around in terror. This broken arm also puts her out of commission for at least a week.
• Internal Reveal: And Internal Unreveal. While the reader already knows that Quartz is Damien, Lovebird and the rest of the girls don't know until they're specifically shown.
• Late for School: At the beginning, Eve and Felix think that it's in the middle of the night. Then they look at the clock.
• The Load: Sadly, Gwen doesn't do much after rescuing the rest of the members of the Sisterhood. It's even lampshaded when she begs Weathervane not to tell her mom because "all she did was look cute".
• Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: Sure, Weathervane. Go ahead and over-compliment the very impressionable teenager. That won't backfire!
• Nice Job Fixing It, Villain: Quartz tries to sabotage the plane into landing early, only for it to horribly fail. This leads to the poor kid snapping three ribs and falling out of a hole.
• No Plans, No Prototype, No Backup: Subverted as Crystal Caer made tons of starter remotes in the case of one being stolen or broken.
• Ordinary High-School Student: Eve, Mercedes, and AJ. Bebe attempts to be this.
• Personality Powers: Played straight with all of the heroes and villains, with the sole exceptions of Midnight Crawler^note Has shadow powers, but is very warm and inviting. and AJ ^note Has the power to manipulate technology, but is as far from the nerd stereotype as anyone can be..
• Poor Communication Kills: Bebe refuses to tell Eve or (anyone else) that Quartz is Damien because she's afraid of looking jealous.
• Punch-Clock Villain: Quartz, Duplica, and Scales.
• "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Fawaz gives one to The Sisterhood after their first failed battle.
  • Eve gives one to Quartz, chastising him for refusing to kill her at every given moment. He counters with another one, explaining to her his side of the situation.
• Recruit Teenagers with Attitude: The Sisterhood and the teenage henchmen.
• Savvy Guy, Energetic Girl: Eve and Damien, though it's more apparent when they're Quartz and Eve.
• Shout-Out: Midnight Crawler not so subtly compares Eve to Fran Fine.
• Small Name, Big Ego: The Mirzas are so grateful to have found someone that can actually get the mask to work that they shower Eve with compliments and praise for nothing. She immediately banks off this ego trip and tries to become a hero overnight, leading to her nearly getting caught by Crystal Caer.
• Stealth Pun: Lovebird offhandedly mentions she's missing a shoe after Midnight Crawler saves her. When she finds out that Damien was The Mole, it finally lands.
• Suddenly Shouting: Crystal Caer, all the time.
• What the Hell, Hero?: Eve gets two of these, one from Fawaz and the other from Mercedes.
• Wham Line: "Eve found Liv's mask."
  • "See, this I why I only work with- Damien!"
  • "Because Crystal Caer is my dad!"
• Wham Shot: Quartz's mask being removed. Both times.
• Why Don't You Just Shoot Him?: Eve asks this twice, once to Quartz, and once to his father.
• Wrong Genre Savvy: Let us count the ways.
  • After visiting the Mirza Institute, Eve thinks that having Lovebird's mask will immediately make her better at catching crime. Yeah, no. She freaks out upon being spotted and nearly gets caught upon messing up her attack.
  • The next night, she tries again, this time with a team. They do a little better than the first attempt, but it still ends badly.
    • Adding onto this, she assumes that she'll be Easily Forgiven by Fawaz. She's... not.
  • Eve tries to destroy the remote to Crystal Caer's scheme, thinking it's the only one. Cue about a dozen other remotes popping up. Seeing a trend here?
  • One from Quartz: he gets Bebe to hack into the control box and get the blimp to land. She's immediately thrown out of the system before she can finish, and sends the ship into a tailspin.