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Even If We Break is a 2020 young adult novel by Marieke Nijkamp.

For the last three years, high schoolers Finn, Maddy, Ever, Liva, and Carter have been roleplaying as inquisitors in the fantasy city of Gonfalon. In an attempt to repair the rifts that have developed between them, the group decides to meet for one last game in Liva's parents' cabin in the mountains of Arizona. When people start dying for real, the survivors struggle to get out alive.


Even If We Break contains examples of:

  • Career-Ending Injury: Maddy used to be a lacrosse player who expected to get a lacrosse scholarship, until her ligaments were damaged in a car crash.
  • Cut Phone Lines: At the start of the game, the players all put their phones in a chest in the pantry to avoid distractions. After the first victim disappears, Ever and Finn go to call for help, only to find the chest gone.
  • Embarrassing Rescue: While hiking to the cabin, the group comes across a pile of boulders blocking the path, with a fallen tree leaning against it. Most of the kids climb over without incident, but Finn, who has arthritis, struggles. As he's climbing down the other side of the pile, his crutch slips, and he falls. Liva is the one who breaks his fall, and he wishes it could have been any of the others.
  • Functional Addict: Maddy was prescribed painkillers after her car accident. Maddy is autistic, and found that they helped a lot with Sensory Overload. They made her feel like she could fit in, and made her life without lacrosse seem less empty and hopeless. She kept taking the pills even after she didn't need them, telling her doctor that the pain hadn't decreased. She also found other people's years-old stashes of pills from health problems that they've recovered from, and started taking some of those, causing her to build up a tolerance. She never thinks that she might be addicted until the killer leaves a note that says "Addict." Maddy throws away all the pills she brought to the cabin. She is determined not to use again, even after the killer breaks her arm during the final fight.
  • Homophobic Hate Crime: A few months ago, Finn was badly beaten in a fight with transphobic bullies. He thought Liva, who was walking nearby, would stand up for him, but she didn't. Finn was so angry and hurt by the betrayal that he didn't go to any of the group's meetings in the last few months.
  • Impaled Palm: During the fight with the killer, Liva drives a hunting knife through Ever's hand. The victim pulls the knife out without thinking, causing blood to pour from the wound, and stanches the flow by pressing a piece of tunic into the wound.
  • One Last Field Trip: This trip will be the last time the protagonists play their game before Liva, Carter, and Finn go off into the adult world.
  • Poster-Gallery Bedroom: Liva's room at the cabin is decorated with posters of WyvernCon and sewing patterns.
  • Self-Harm: Ever's sister Elle has anxiety and is terrified of storms. She scratches herself or bites her lip until she bleeds. The family's too poor to afford therapy, so Ever and their dad support her as best they can.
  • Tragic Dropout: Burned out from all the responsibilities in their life, Ever makes the decision to drop out of high school to focus on caring for Elle and working to support their family.

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