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Literature / Captain French, or the Quest for Paradise

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Captain French, or the Quest for Paradise ("Капитан Френч, или Поиски рая") is a science fiction novel written by the Russian author Mikhail Akhmanov and British author Christopher Nicholas Gilmore. While the novel is frequently advertised as a Space Opera, but it lacks many of the elements typically associated with the genre. There's no Galactic Empire or Federation. No space battles (or battles of any kind). Instead, it's a story of a man who has had an insanely long life and spends it traveling from world to world, experiencing the local culture and bathing in luxury before moving on. It's also a story of humanity who has spread out to the stars but has taken all of its faults to the new worlds. Most information is revealed either in conversations between the titular protagonist with a priest and then his new wife or through internal monologues and flashbacks.


The novel takes place about 20,000 years in the future. While humans have made it to the stars, settling thousands of worlds, Casual Interstellar Travel is averted. Faster-Than-Light Travel is impossible. The only means of going to other stars involves using a relativistic drive system that appears to be instantaneous to anyone aboard but takes decades or even centuries for the outside universe. As such, very few ships go between worlds, being limited to occasional colony ships heading for newly-discovered habitable worlds, occasional religious fanatics seeking to spread their faith, or space traders (of which there are only a few hundred). Building a starship is also extremely expensive, meaning only the richest colonies can afford to do that in order to relieve population pressure. Aging has been eliminated on most worlds thanks to a miracle procedure known as Cellular Regeneration (or CR) that stops the aging process in its tracks. Most choose to undergo the procedure in their early 20s, although some have known to wait until 30 to look "more mature". We Will Have Perfect Health in the Future is also largely true, as advanced medical technology (frequently employing Autodocs) can cure any known disease. All this has resulted in Population Control being imposed on most worlds, with child licenses being given out as people die from unnatural causes. Birth control is not a problem, as sterilization is easy and reversible.


Captain Graham French is the first human to ever reach another star, being a NASA test pilot back in the 21st century. He was sent to fly the first starship to Alpha Centauri equipped with the Ramsden relativistic drive, where he discovered a habitable planet. Instead of going back, he chose to to continue to other stars and explore them. By the time he got back, nearly 100 years have passed on Earth. His wife and daughter have long been dead. Celebrated as a hero, he retired and lived the life of luxury, watching as government space programs were shut down as private enterprises began building ships to settle other worlds. When he found out that his ship would be handed over to a museum (or a bank, or a spice company), he stole it (giving up his Earthly, literally, possessions in favor of the museum/bank/spice company) and took off for one of the already-established extrasolar colonies. Instead of arresting French, as the lightspeed message from Earth demanded, the colonists chose to sign a deal with French, which is how he got his start as the first space trader. Thousands of years later, French visits the planet Murphy only to find out that it has suffered a comet strike since the last time he was there. After a period of anarchy and cannibalism, a religious order called the Holy Archonate has taken over, claiming that the "Lord's Hammer" has cleansed the world of sinners. While on Murphy, he spends time with Archon Geoffrey, telling the priest about his adventures, before the Archon offers French a wife from among those the Archonate considers "undesirable" (i.e. those who refuse their rules and don't wish to be re-educated). From among them, French chooses a redhead named Killashandra who is one of the most stubborn of the "undesirables". Killashandra agrees to join French, and they depart Murphy. They spend the next several (subjective) years traveling the stars, stopping at various worlds to trade. Eventually, though, Killashandra tells French that she wants a baby. While French initially explains to her the various problems of giving birth and raising a baby aboard a ship. Eventually, Killashandra comes up with a solution. She wants French to leave her on a good colony for 70 years, during which she will raise their child. Then the child will marry and start a family, while she returns to the ship. In the end, French agrees and leaves her on Corinth, where local customs mean that a woman from another world can't find a husband there.


The novel is full of Shout Outs to famous sci-fi works, and a number are even referenced in-universe.

While no official English translation of the novel exists, there is a fan-made translation that can be read here.

The novel contains examples of the following tropes:

  • 2-D Space: Averted. In order to minimize the chances of Critical Existence Failure when jumping, French usually takes his ship as far from any large gravity wells as possible and also aims to arrive at such spots. This frequently means he travels above or below the ecliptic, since it's quicker than going to the edge of a system within the ecliptic.
  • Absence Makes the Heart Go Yonder: French is afraid of this when Killashandra insists on him leaving her on a world for 70 years to raise their child before rejoining him on the ship. Luckily, the solution presents itself on the planet Corinth, whose women have a strange psychic ability to always choose their soulmate, supposedly thanks to a flower that has since gone extinct. Since Killashandra is not from Corinth, no man would have her because he could never be sure if she was truly his soulmate (Serious Business on this world). Their son, though, would find happiness there. This doesn't mean Killashandra couldn't sleep with another man on Corinth, though, but French admits he wouldn't fault her for that.
  • Absent Aliens: Intentionally invoked by the authors, as the presence of aliens would naturally shift the focus away from the main theme of the novel. Humans have settled thousands of worlds and discovered tens of thousands more in three spiral arms of the galaxy and have yet to find another sentient race.
  • The Ageless: Humanity has become this thanks to CR, which has a big impact on human interactions. Family dynamics change, as parents no longer become old and decrepit. The concept of "inheritance" holds little meaning, as a parent is no longer likely to die before his or her children. Population Control (in the form of child licenses) is a must on most worlds to avoid overpopulation. One some worlds, though, capital crime is punished by aging by reversing the procedure.
    • Even before CR (which was invented in the 24th century), medical science has already reached a point where people could live for several centuries in perfect health. CR was simply the next logical step.
  • All Planets Are Earthlike: Partly averted. In the 20,000 years of interstellar travel, humanity has only settled a few thousand worlds. Tens of thousands more have been discovered but are not habitable. One group of colonists found it easier to terraform a planet that has been bombed by its original settlers into a radioactive wasteland rather than look for a new planet.
  • Apocalypse How: A number of worlds have suffered various catastrophes, usually at human hands:
    • Shangri-La - a massive civil war resulting in a death toll in many millions and collapse of the society.
    • Priceless Pearl - a group of hedonists used genetic engineering to make everyone on the planet into creatures of pleasure by turning the entire body into an erogenous zone. Once again, total social collapse.
    • Brunnershabn - a nuclear war resulting in the death of all living things. Later re-colonized and renamed Transformation.
    • Kadath - a genetically-engineered Servant Race revolted, and the brutal war resulted in the Pyrrhic Victory for the masters at the cost of over 70% of the population dead.
    • Bone-in-the-Throat - eugenic experiments result in overpopulation and cannibalism.
    • Murphy - a comet strike results in widespread destruction and massive death toll, followed by anarchy and cannibalism. One of the few planets to suffer a devastating catastrophe and be on a path to recovery.
    • Eldorado - powerful ultrasonic generators were used to try to improve the planetary climate. Their simultaneous activation resulted in massive volcanic activity and the destruction of the colony.
    • Yamaha - attempts to improve the climate by changing the axial tilt results in the melting of polar ice caps and global flooding.
  • Auction: Typically, when arriving to a planet, French sets up an auction aboard his ship. He does it in such a way as to keep it as orderly as possible (so no people shouting over one another). The audience is placed in the mezzanine, while the participants are put in booths in the parterre and handed out small terminals, which are used to enter bids. The highest bid is then displayed on the big screen, at which point the participants can increase their bids. The winner is never announced and gets his or her purchase discretely. French secretly has his own terminal, which he uses to increase bids on items that he thinks are worth more than the current highest bid. This way, he ensures that he always makes a profit or, at the very least, keeps the item for a later auction on another world. This is one of the reasons he does this aboard his ship, as such practice is probably illegal on the planetary surface.
  • Auto-Doc: The Circe is equipped with one of the best medical robots in all the human worlds. Presumably, so do the ships of other space traders.
  • Babies Make Everything Better: Killashandra feels very strongly about this and wants to give French what only one other woman has given him (his first wife whom he left on Earth 20,000 years ago) - a child. French reveals that he has hundreds of thousands of children on many worlds, although he fathered none of them. He simply donated his sperm, and many women wanted to have a child of a celebrity.
    • Strict Population Control policies on many worlds result in groups of women whom French jokingly calls "frantic mothers" seeking to leave their worlds for newly-settled ones in order to make as many babies as possible. They don't care who the fathers are and are perfectly willing to pay for passage with sex. French admits to having transported a group of these women to a new colony, indulging in their "services", although they were disappointed that he had sterilized himself to avoid unwanted pregnancies.
  • Brainwashing for the Greater Good: See Memory-Wiping Crew.
  • Call a Smeerp a "Rabbit": While some non-terrestrial creatures have unique names, others are named after real or mythical terrestrial animals. For example, the so-called "black unicorns" of Barsoom look nothing like the mythical Unicorns. They are actually described as "squat black monstrosities with a cornified nose." Probably not something a little girl is likely to enjoy having as a pet.
  • Captain Geographic: There doesn't appear to be a reason why the main character's last name is French. He is actually American, although he once shows Killashandra the view of France from space and explains what his last name refers to.
  • Cassandra Truth: Many of the man-made catastrophes that hit several well-known planets could have been prevented if someone had listened to warnings. Instead, the doubters were ridiculed and accused of slowing progress. Many were disenfranchised and punished with aging. After the inevitable disaster occurred, they'd frequently be the first to be lynched.
  • Casual Interplanetary Travel: Largely averted. Just like in Real Life, space programs are expensive and provide little return on the investment. Except, with other worlds being settled, there is little reason to explore space, and the only reason some planets choose to have space programs is to launch satellites, establish zero-g production lines, and mine asteroids. Even astronomy has largely been forgotten with only a few amateurs still engaging in the practice. Nobody bothers trying to settle lifeless rocks, since any developed world would much rather send a colony ship to a distant star with a habitable planet.
  • Casual Interstellar Travel: Averted thanks to the absence of FTL Travel and the exorbitant costs of building a ship equipped with the Ramsden relativistic drive. Planets are isolated except for the occasional visit by a space trader who brings news and goods from other worlds.
  • Centrifugal Gravity: The only way to achieve Artificial Gravity in this 'verse. French's ship, the Circe, slowly spins around its axis, providing 0.02g. In order to avoid muscle atrophy, French forces himself exercise daily and has a whole ship section set up as a gym with a pool.
  • Colonized Solar System: It's stated that the Solar System is unique among the others settled by humans in that it's been entirely colonized, a process that started before the invention of the Ramsden drive. In other systems, if someone wants to settle a world, they're more likely to build a colony ship and go settle a habitable planet in another system. For example, French mentions two lifeless planets in Murphy's system, Angus and Maeve, one of which is like Mercury and the other is like Mars. Even before the calamity, no one on Murphy had any interest in colonizing those planets.
  • Colony Drop: Surprisingly, only happens once in the entire recorded history of humanity. Murphy suffers a comet strike that results in millions dead and a period of chaos and cannibalism. It is currently under the control of the Holy Archonate.
  • Cool Star Ship: French's ship, the Circe, renamed from Star Conqueror. While it's definitely not a warship, they're not necessary in this 'verse. Besides, if necessary, the database of the Circe's computer has all plans necessary to build highly-destructive weapons. The ship is also unique because it's the first starship ever built, although French has made many modifications since then. Subjectively, it's over 2000 years old and still kicking.
    • French mentions another star trader who did turn his second ship into a warship after the first one was taken by an opportunist. The "taking" was actually legal under interstellar law (if a space trader spends more than a standard year on any single world without jumping, his ship automatically unlocks for anyone to take), but the space trader is still determined to find the thief and make him pay. The irony is that he himself stole his second ship from a group of missionaries.
  • Covers Always Lie: A popular cover of the book depicts, presumably, Killashandra holding on to French who is strapped in and holding an old-style plane flight control stick while flying into what appears to be a black hole. A monkey is also holding onto him. Let's see, French is shown to be red-haired and fairly young; however, the book makes it explicit that he's in his late fifties with grey hair (having undergone CR late in his life and choosing to keep his appearance). Killashandra is a stunning redhead with green eyes. In the picture, she is white-haired with black eyes. There are no black holes in the novel (besides the ones French keeps swearing by), and while there are monkey-like critters, they're distinctly orange (and also never go outside the menagerie compartment aboard the ship, so one wouldn't be on the bridge). All piloting is done by the computer and is hardly exciting.
    • Another cover shows him wearing a combat suit and Dual Wielding blasters, having just burst into the room and shot up the place. In the novel, French never even picks up a weapon, and no fights take place.
  • Critical Existence Failure: A possibility exists for any ship traveling using the Ramsden drive to end up inside a stellar body, with the chance increasing if the jump is made near a strong gravity well. As such, ships normally move out of the system (or, at least, far enough from the star) before initiating the drive. The possibility is never zero, but since space is big, the chance is remote.
  • Death of Personality: See Memory-Wiping Crew.
  • Divorce Requires Death: Averted. Given that people habitually live for centuries or even millennia, it doesn't seem realistic to expect eternal commitment from couples, especially since both partners remain eternally young (and horny). It's inevitable that, eventually, they tire of one another and decide to part ways. Even the marriage vow spoken by French and his wife specifically states that their marriage will last only for as long as they both wish it. It may not be as romantic, but French always insists on being a pragmatist and has a great deal of experience with women. Additionally, it's common for couples to remain childless for decades, or even centuries, due to the Population Control imposed on most developed worlds (Shandra's parents are stated to have waited for at least 200 years for a child license).
  • Dumb Blonde: Daphne, one of French's wives, was this.
  • Earth That Was: While Earth is by no means gone, the lack of any interstellar governmental body means that it's just another settled world. It's invariably referred to as Old Earth. Additionally, French mentions that whales, dolphins, and walruses have been extinct on Earth for millennia. Fortunately, they are present on several other worlds thanks to the colonists bringing the genetic material with them. It's not clear why they haven't been re-populated on Earth from this stock.
  • Ego Polis: The planet Murphy is named after the first leader of the colony Simon Murphy. This implies that no one thought to give a name to a newly-discovered habitable world until the colony ship had actually landed. Or Simon Murphy had the name changed.
  • Either/Or Title
  • Eternal English: Handwaived by the statement that, since English became an international language in the 21st century, all governments on all planets have done their best to keep it from changing semantically in order to be able to communicate with visiting space traders. Apparently, it worked so well that it remained virtually unchanged for over 20,000 years.
  • Feudal Future: The planet Malacandra has been ruled by the same line of enlightened monarchs for millennia. Their political system is incredibly stable. This is helped by the millennia of genetic modification to the royal line, breeding out such negative qualities as greed and ruthlessness. In all this time, there has been only 26 rulers, and none of them were killed by another person. All deaths were accidental or due to carelessness on the part of the monarchs themselves (e.g. ripped apart by wild animals, drowned, mountain climbing accident, too much eating/drinking/fornicating). The planet's land is split up into 45 provinces called "kraals" ruled by governors, each of which is a bastard child of the king, resulting in loyalty and stability. The king legislates, the crown prince (also his prime minster) ensures that the laws are followed.
  • Flying Car: Common on developed worlds. Very useful for traveling great distances. The primary non-aquatic mode of transportation on Solaris, as the deficit of land means that roads are a no-no. How they work is never explained, especially since it's clear that Artificial Gravity hasn't been discovered in this 'verse.
  • Flying the Universe: French explains to Archon Geoffrey that he quickly realized that a space trader could never be truly wealthy nor could he put down roots. He must always keep all his belongings on the ship. Eventually, this becomes a law that is hard-wired into the computer of every space trader ship. If a space trader spends more than a year on any planet at a time, the ship becomes "unlocked" to anyone willing to steal it, thus necessitating that space traders continue traveling.
  • Free-Love Future: Depending on the world. Some planets do indeed have much more relaxed views on sex and relationships. When French visits Solaris with Killashandra, a man approaches him at a party and offers to acquaint French with a local girl for a romp on a dolphin's back (It Makes Sense in Context) if French gives him hints on seducing French's wife. While mentally French understands that the local customs accept this behavior, he still decides to teach the guy a lesson by giving them the exact wrong advice.
  • Future Imperfect: Many planets retain reliable records, but some records of the past, especially of Old Earth, are not exactly precise. For example, the names of some famous authors ended up getting mangled (e.g. Anne McCaffrey is called "Annette McCloskey", while Charles Perrault is known as "Chaurl Perry"). Additionally, a number of Disney characters and stories are now considered to be fairy tales in their own right, and some stories somehow ended up merged together, such as the story of King Kong and Conan the Barbarian, who slew him. There's also the slightly disturbing merging of a Real Life crime and a children's story called Jack the Giant Ripper.
  • Future Slang: The curse word "massaraksh" gets thrown around a lot, claiming to come from Barsoom. In fact, the word is a Shout-Out to the Strugatsky Brothers novel Prisoners of Power.
  • Genetic Engineering Is the New Nuke: Rampant genetic engineering results in catastrophes on several worlds.
  • Heavy Worlder: The people of San Brendan are unattractive by most standards thanks to living on a world with a higher gravity than Earth norm. They are short, stocky, and grey-skinned. However, after thousands of years, the San Brendan colonists who have re-settled the planet Transformation (renamed from Brunnershabn) have changed to normal-sized (and attractive) humans. Bioscrupture may have been involved. French even mentions recognizing facial features common to Slavic and Scandinavian people.
  • Immortality Inducer: Cellular Regeneration, frequently called simply CR, is a one-time procedure that freezes the aging process at the current age. It's never specified how it works (probably to avoid Artistic License – Biology). Judging by the fact that it's extremely rare on most worlds to have individuals die from old age, the procedure is ridiculously cheap and may even be provided by the government free of charge (why have a pension fund or worry about the elderly when you can have able-bodied workers/taxpayers instead?). CR is reversible, although this is only done in extreme cases, usually as punishment for capital crimes in lieu of execution.
    • On Murphy, the Holy Archonate considers CR to be God's gift to humanity and, thus, sacred. No one has a right to deny the procedure to any person on the planet. In fact, it's likely that the Archonate provides it for free. When speaking with Archon Geoffrey, French learns that punishing someone by reversing the procedure (i.e. restoring the normal aging process) is considered a grave sin on the planet.
  • It's pointed out that the CR procedure can be performed not just on humans but on any living organism. There is a cow aboard the Circe that has been providing French fresh milk and steaks for nearly as long as his own life (give or take a few centuries) thanks to CR. The algae in his hydroponic sections that provide most of the ship's oxygen have also been treated with CR, as was any plant in his garden.
  • In the Future, Humans Will Be One Race: Partly played straight on various colonies, where settlers may have originally come from different regions on Earth and have since mixed together. This is especially true on Malacandra, whose colonists were predominantly from Southern Africa. In order to avoid any racial tension on the new world, only mixed-race couples were allowed to board the colony ship, resulting in all Malacandrans being easygoing attractive mulattoes. Then again, French specifically avoid using that term, as it, like "black" and "white", has its own historical baggage. He also notes that the majority of Malacandrans look Semitic.
  • The Good Kingdom: According to French, monarchy is the only truly stable government in the long term. He tells Shandra a social theory that claims that democracies tend to eventually turn into dictatorships due to corruption and radicalization, which will eventually be violently overthrown, resulting in a theocratic rule by some religious group, after which they will also be overthrown to be replaced by another democracy, repeating the cycle. The people of one planet believe this so much that they are obsessed with finding genes that are related to certain tendencies (submitting to a tyrant or learning towards religion), so they can remove them from their society and ensure an unending democracy. French believes they're stupid for thinking that the relationship between genetics and social change is so simple.
  • Lightworlder There are several worlds with low gravity, such as Barsoom, resulting in tall, lanky humans.
  • Longevity Treatment: Prior to the invention of CR, there were other methods of extending the human lifespan, including organ cloning and blood vessel cleansing.
  • Love Potion: The people of Solaris have developed an aphrodisiac that can be applied like perfume. At a social event in his honor, French is approached by an attractive woman in revealing clothing who starts an argument with him about feminism. Meanwhile, French finds himself more and more thinking about what it would be like to remove her clothing, despite the fact that his wife is in the next room. He finally realizes that she is trying to seduce him using the aphrodisiac and manages to keep her away with his cigar after her breasts quite literally pop out of her clothes. However, her attempts affected him in a certain way, so he takes Killashandra back to their room and has mad sex with her to relieve the "pressure". In the morning, she half-jokingly calls him an animal. He's later told that, for a woman of her status, it's shameful for the "feminist" to use an aphrodisiac to seduce a man, as it signals to others that she can't do it normally.
    • His local guides also tell him that some of the lower classes regularly engage in crazy orgies that involve them going into a room that is then pumped with the aphrodisiac. In a frenzy, they rip off each other's clothes and become a mass of writhing bodies. This presents a business opportunity to French who opens a new line of easily-rippable clothes designed for just such an event. He notes that he is the first space trader to sell any clothing on Solaris, as Solarians don't really care for off-world fashion. As a Take That!, he sends a few samples of the new product to the "feminist".
  • Magic Plastic Surgery: Biosculpture is the logical extreme of plastic surgery. Anyone with sufficient funds (although, it's implied not to be very expensive) can have their appearance altered to a desired one. Of course, this results in an effect of the You All Look Familiar variety, especially with women, since there aren't that many standards of beauty.
    • One of the reasons why French is immediately attracted to Killashandra is because she stands out from the rest of the women on Archon Geoffrey's list by her natural, unaltered beauty. Then he reads about her and gets even more interested.
  • Matter Replicator: Matter duplicators were invented on Alastor and then exported to other worlds by space traders.
  • Memory-Wiping Crew: Tranai is a world with a government system called "humane communism" (or "communist humanism", French doesn't remember exactly). One of the ways the ones in power keep the people in line is by a device called the mental annihilator, capable of erasing an offender's personality and replacing it with a new, loyal one. They also invented the happiness meter that allowed them empirically detect how happy a person was with the government. If the measurement of too low, the mental annihilator was employed to "improve the person".
  • Mix-and-Match Critters: Some planets have played around with genetic engineering. One result are the shabns of Malacandra, a cross between a horse and a camel, which are described as "humped, long-legged beasts, capable of moving at great speeds, carry heavy loads, and survive for weeks without water". They are in high demand on developing worlds.
  • My Greatest Failure: French's one big regret is that he never got to see his daughter grow up, choosing to explore space instead. By the time he got back, Time Dilation meant that not only was his daughter dead, but so were her children.
  • Naming Your Colony World: A good number of planets settled by humans have names that come from pop-culture. This is sometimes mentioned in-universe.
    • Murphy - borrowed from Earthman Come Home by James Blish. In-universe, named after Simon Murphy, the first leader of the colony.
    • Pern - obviously taken from Dragonriders of Pern by Anne McCaffrey, who is mentioned by name by another character (in reference to the name Killashandra), except over 20,000 years her name has been mangled into Annette McClosky. It's implied that the planet was named so because of certain flying reptiles native to it. While these pterogeckos, as they're called, are not at all similar to the dragons from the books (being about the size of an actual gecko), French does at one point refer to them as "miniature dragons" and even posits that they may be telepathic.
    • Barsoom - the native name for Mars in John Carter of Mars by Edgar Rice Burroughs. It's a low-gravity world whose colonists have evolved into lanky humanoids. However, this is the only similarity the world has with the fictional Mars, as it's a lush green planet with a hot, tropical climate and gigantic trees, not to mention a highly-developed human civilization. One of the cities on the planet is named Zodanga (no Helium, though).
      • Also, Iss is one of the first five worlds settled by humanity. In John Carter of Mars, Iss is the last remaining river on Barsoom.
    • Eden and Solaris - taken from the eponymous novels by Stanisław Lem. And yes, the second one is a water world with colonists living on islands making up about 3% of the surface.
    • Trantor and Aurora - planets in Isaac Asimov's Foundation series.
    • Tranai - a "utopia" invented by Robert Sheckley in "A Ticket to Tranai".
    • Viola Siderea - taken from "Mother Hitton's Littul Kittons" by Cordwainer Smith.
    • Camelot and Logres - places in the King Arthur myths.
    • Malacandra - planet in Out of the Silent Planet by C. S. Lewis.
    • The planet Penelope in the Alpha Centauri system is named after French's daughter.
  • Never My Fault: Inamura Yoko, one of French's wives, betrayed him by selling all the items and patents he had just sold (with exclusive agreements to top-level clients) to second-rate businesses, negating all the exclusive agreements he had made and forcing him to return all the profits. When he confronted her, Yoko was nonplussed, pointing out that she didn't care that he hadn't made any money, as long as she did, pointing out that she knew that she merely wanted to gallivant around the universe and play around with a pretty girl, before dumping her on some godforsaken backwater planet. Of course, French has always treated his women well and never abused them. When telling this story to his new wife Shandra, who is shocked at this betrayal of marital vows (one of the clauses is a promise to never jeopardize French's business dealings), he explains that dishonest people rarely admit their own sins and will find countless excuses for their actions.
  • No Immortal Inertia: Averted. Anyone who undergoes the procedure to reverse CR simply continues aging from the same point at which the process was "frozen". This is extremely rare, though, and only done on some planets as capital punishment. Interestingly, on the planet Murphy, the Holy Archonate the controls the colony considers CR to be God's gift to humanity. This means that they make sure that everyone receives the procedure at the proper age and make such punishment illegal, declaring it a sin.
  • No Warping Zone: While the Ramsden drive can be, technically, activated anywhere, doing it near a strong gravity well (e.g. a star or a planet) drastically increases the chances of calculationg being thrown off, resulting in the ship ending up somewhere other than empty space. This is why ships normally spend months traveling on ion drives to the outer parts of the star system before activating the Ramsden drive.
  • One World Order: Most worlds are ruled by a single government.
  • Parental Abandonment: When things on Murphy finally, more or less, stabilized, Killashandra's father suddenly became extremely religious, desperate to atone for the sins of his life during the decades of chaos. Not only did he join the Order of the Penitents, who spend their days working off their sins with hard labor in factories and mines and little to no comfort, but he also chose to give his only daughter to a convent as the ultimate sacrifice, where she spent the next several decades. Naturally, any mention of her father usually results in a burst of anger for the greatest betrayal in her life by the person she had trusted most, all because he felt bad about something he did.
    • French himself left his daughter Penelope, when he agreed to take part in the historic first flight to Alpha Centauri. Instead of coming home then, he broke protocol and continued exploring nearby stars for over a century (objective time). By the time he came back, his grandchildren were already dead. In fact, this is his one great regret in life, especially since he also broke his promise to be a part of her life, after he and his first wife had divorced. At the end of the novel, he's forced to do it again, leaving Shandra and his unborn child on Corinth, as staying for even a year on any given planet would have cost him his ship. He fully plans to return in a few decades, but his child will have grown up without knowing his or her father. He even calls this act "Odysseus leaving Ithaca".
  • Planetville: Despite being The Ageless, French rarely sees more than the tiniest fraction of any single world. Partly due to spending a good chunk of his time on any planet in business dealings and partly because he only spends, at most, several months on a planet (a space trader legally can't spend more than a standard year on any single planet at a time without risking someone else making off with his ship). This tends to limit his perception of each world, which frequently leads to a Planet of Hats feeling.
  • Population Control: Child licenses are handed out on most settled worlds to avoid overpopulation. Since humanity has become The Ageless, natural causes are no longer the primary means of human death. A group of women appears on each world where this policy is in effect whom French calls "frantic mothers". They believe that it is their duty to have as many children as possible. It doesn't matter with who, and they are more than willing to pay for passage to developing colonies (i.e. without Population Control) with their bodies. French admits that he has transported them once, agreeing to their "payment", although they were disappointed that he has temporarily sterilized himself.
  • Really 700 Years Old: Since most of humanity is The Ageless, this can apply to everyone. However, not many people are shown to live for hundreds of years, as a number of people die due to unnatural causes such as violence, accidents, or deadly plagues. French himself is likely the oldest human in existence, his subjective age (thanks to Time Dilation) being about 2000, while his objective age is about 20,000.
  • Roaring Rampage of Revenge: French recounts the story of a fellow space trader named Phil Regos who visited a planet called Summerland ruled by Clerac Belug styling himself a God-Emperor. After 200 years of rule, Belug bought into his own propaganda and belived that his will is sacred. So when he saw Regos's stunning wife Sdina Betin, he invited the couple to spend the night at his palace. His guards then tied Regos up and sent him up in his shuttle back to the ship, while Belus raped Sdina, who refused to submit to his will. On the next day, Sdina was accused of displeasing the God-Emperor, a capital crime on this world, and publicly incinerated with Frickin' Laser Beams. Regos spends the next 35 years in the system's asteroid belt, mining resources and building himself a giant laser Kill Sat capable of incinerating mountains and vaporizing seas. He then uses the laser to blackmail the people of Summerland and demand that they hand Clerac Belug over to him. After a brief civil war, the dictator is captured and delivered to Regos. Regos then tortures the God-Emperor for a long time using electric shock and his Auto-Doc, making video recordings of the act, which he then distributed on any world he visited to show people what happens to those who wrong space traders. Naturally, Belug didn't survive the "procedure".
    • French tells this story to Killashandra as they're going to the ballet based on the event called The Revenge of Captain Rego (the name being slightly mangled).
    • French also points out that Regos could have simply built a bunch of nukes and dropped them on the planet, but his intention was to punish the dictator not his subjects, hence the 35 years he spent building the laser.
  • School of Seduction: French occasionally mentions the Order of Carnal Pleasures on the planet Dolores Rose that trains the equivalent of hetaeras, courtesans, and High Class Call Girls. The planet has no taboos regarding their profession, and the word "prostitute" is frowned upon. A lady of the Order is schooled in dancing, singing, grace, the art of lovemaking, and table setting. The Order is unionized, so fair wages are guaranteed. While on Dolores Rose, French sold the Order a device invented on the communist world of Tranai that measures a person's happiness. They have since installed it in every bed of their Happy Houses to charge clients based on the level of pleasure received (above the minimum rate, of course).
  • Self-Destruct Mechanism: Averted. French specifically mentions that his authority over the ship is not absolute. Even he is unable to do certain things, including blowing up the ship. There is a reason for that. Since there are so few space traders, and they are the only links the disparate human worlds have with one another, it would be disastrous to allow a space trader to be able to destroy his own ship. If he really doesn't want to be a space trader anymore (and this almost never happens), he can always sell or give his ship to someone else (there are always people willing to take the job). This, of course, implies that a space trader can't, for some reason, buy a ship's computer on the black market, which doesn't have these restrictions.
  • Serious Business: Barsoomian society is obsessed with soccer to such an extent that political parties are put in power primarily based on whether their candidates can beat the others in a soccer tournament. Additionally, the presidential candidate typically the position of goalkeeper, as the ability to catch a ball seems to be associated with the ability to handle any crisis. It's not entirely clear how this form of political process can be called democratic, though.
  • Significant Green-Eyed Redhead: Killashandra, which is what first attracts French.
  • Single-Biome Planet: Solaris is a planet where the world ocean covers 97% of the surface. The other 3% is made up of various islands scattered through the planet. The islands were settled by arrivals from Aurora, who enjoy nice weather (apparently, superstorms are not a thing on this world). Since the flora and fauna of this world are stuck in the Sillurian Period, there are no harmful plants and animals for the colonists to worry about. They end up transplanting Terrestrial flora and fauna to Solaris, including dolphins and whales. A number of Solarians undergo voluntary genetic modifications and grow gills and webbed hands and feet in order to work in underwater farms and mines with the procedure being completely reversible.
  • Sleeper Starship: French describes a colony ship as an "enormous flying refrigerator without any comfort, tens of thousands of hibernator coffins plus cargo holds, packed with all kinds of stuff." While a Ramsden field jump is mostly instantaneous for the people aboard (though not for the universe), it usually takes months of conventional travel to reach the outskirts of a system in order to minimize the chances of Critical Existence Failure. Additionally, since the Periphery of human space is so far from the old worlds (which are the most likely to build colony ships in the first place), the same risk also necessitates multiple shorter jumps instead of a single long one. Notably, space trader vessels are typically not examples of this trope.
  • Smart People Know Latin: French (and the author) constantly quotes some well-known (or more obscure) saying in Latin. This appeared to be typical for the author, who does this (although not to this extent) in other novels. This is despite the novel taking place tens of thousands of years in the future, meaning the Romans are as dead as they're going to be, and the same can be said for the language.
  • Society of Immortals: See The Ageless above.
  • Space People: When asked, French explains to Killashandra about people called Sacabons who live in space habitats in zero-g. As such, many of their muscles have atrophied, and they are no longer capable of going down to planetary surface, lest their spines snap like a twig. Their descendants have adapted to live in space. French shows her a picture of a Sacabon woman, a three-meter tall thin being with big eyes and bones that threaten to comes out of the skin and long, flexible fingers (that last part is a deliberate genetic modification).
  • Space Pirate:
    • French admits that his first act as a space trader was to abscond with the ship that used to be NASA property and was then being fought over by three groups (a museum in Maine, a Japanese bank, and an Indonesian spice and drink company). He does declare that he's leaving all his terrestrial assets to be split up among the three groups, but he's still treated as a fugitive until about a century later. By the time he returns to Earth, he's greeted as a hero. Besides, it's doubtful that the statute of limitations for "grand theft spaceship" extends that far.
    • French relays to Shandra the story of Chris Corday, a frivolous but honorable trader, who carried a large group of "frantic mothers" to a backwater planet in the Periphery, having gotten all of them pregnant on the way. Upon arriving, Corday found that the colony was hopelessly failing. Unwilling to simply leave his women and his future children on the planet, but unable to take the pregnant women to another world for fear of the fetuses developing improperly in low gravity, he resolved to stay for as long as necessary to improve the colony's situation, despite the risk of his ship being taken after a year (the Law of Confiscation). After 21 years, some adventurer absconds with his ship, leaving Corday on the planet. After a series of failing businesses, the planet's authorities give him a cushy job as their spaceport's traffic controller, with almost nothing to do for most of the time. After a few centuries, a missionary ship arrives to the planet. Corday convinces the missionaries to land, then has his robots stun them, and steals their ship, becoming a pirate.
  • Stranger in a Familiar Land: When French returned to Earth after his first trip, at least a century has passed. His wife and daughter died long ago, as well as his daughter's children. His great-grandchildren looked at him like a relic of the past. The world was a different place from when he left. National space programs were shutting down, being replaced by private agencies. This is the primary reason why he chose to abscond with his ship and start the life of a space trader.
  • The End of the World as We Know It: Brunnershabn has suffered a nuclear war that resulted in the death of all living things and contamination of the soil. It was re-colonized by settlers from San Brendan, who have labored for many years trying to detoxify the soil and make the planet habitable again (with French's help). After their work was done, they renamed the planet Transformation, signifying a new beginning.
  • The Theocracy: The Holy Archonate on planet Murphy, having taken over during the chaos and anarchy of the society in the wake of the comet strike. French mentions that most planets that favor democratic forms of government go through a period of theocratic rule every once in a while (this is French's cycle for democracies: democracy->dictatorship->theocracy->democracy).
  • This Is Reality: Frequently invoked by the titular character, who is well-read. He will constantly reference what sci-fi writers thought the future would be like and then point out how it turned out.
  • Three Laws-Compliant: Averted. French mentions Asimov and the idea of robots following these rules before throwing it out the window. Robots follow programming that is put in them and nothing more and will follow the orders of a person designated as "master". If one is told to kill, it will kill. Simple as that. The only rule that no space trader can break is the "no staying in one place for more than a year" rule, which is hard-wired into every on-board computer in order to force space traders to move around and continue linking worlds together.
  • Time Abyss: Anyone dealing with French for a long time will get this feeling after hearing a few of his stories. Both Archon Geoffrey and Killashandra are shocked when they hear him casually mention dealing with their ancestors 10,000 years ago. French himself frequently mentions Methuselah when describing this reaction.
  • Time Dilation: The Ramsden drive instantly accelerates the ship to an extremely-high percentage of the speed of light, meaning a journey of a dozen parsecs lasts for a split second for the traveler, while decades pass for the rest of the universe.
  • Ungovernable Galaxy: Due to the nature of interstellar travel and lack of a Subspace Ansible, no unified government is possible. Even sending radio messages to other stars involves setting up and maintaining costly orbital facilities with, ultimately, zero return on the investment. In all his thousands of years of traveling the stars, Captain French has intercepted about 20 radio transmissions aimed at other colonies.
  • Universal Universe Time: Averted for all colonized planets. However, aboard the Circe, French keeps to standard Earth time and gives all time measurements in standard days, months, years, etc. The topic is expanded, when he speaks of Solaris, whose period of rotation is equal to 15 hours (at the equator). Try as they might, the Solarians have not managed to get used to such a short time period, as there simply wasn't enough time in a day, while a two-day cycle would've been too long. Instead of trying to adjust the planetary rotation speed (which would've probably ended in a disaster) or messing around with whatever genes force us to sleep for 8 hours and stay awake for 16 (also a likely disaster), they have implemented a brilliant social measure that appears to work for everyone. Every Solarian belongs to one of five clans, differentiated by colors of clothing. Each clan lives on its own time, shifted by several hours from the next one. Small settlements typically belong to the same clan, while cities are split up into districts. This works out for anyone who might want to enjoy the "night life", while his own clan is deep asleep. All he has to do is go to a neighboring district, where the "night" is still young. The clan split is cosmetic at best, as there are no social taboos against intermixing or switching clans.
  • Vehicular Theme Naming: It's not uncommon for people on Solaris to be named after 20th century cars, such as Dodson Chrysler Sarmishkidu, Benz Fiat Shalmunazar, Nissan Lada Viritrilbia, and Sedan Peugeot Hammurabi. French explains that this is a result of a virus infecting the systems of the planet Aurora 5-6 millennia before, corrupting tons of data and causing the Aurorans to think that the automotive industry had begun during the time of ancient Babylon. Due to their penchant for naming children after famous ancient people, they started naming them after cars. This tradition continued on Solaris, which was settled by Auroran colonists.
  • Virgin Tension: When French first meets Killashandra, she is still a virgin, despite being in her fifties (like everyone, she's The Ageless, so she still looks to be 23-24), as she has spent most of her life in a convent. Since, in his millennia of travel, he has had sex with a virgin only once (his first wife back on Earth of the 21st century), he isn't entirely sure what first time entails. The only things he can remember are that it involves bleeding, brings no pleasure to the girl, and that it's a great honor for the man. So, either 20,000 years from now we still don't know that none of those things are necessarily true (the first two can simply be avoided by being careful and taking certain precautions), or that French has never bothered to learn details on female anatomy. And we are expected to believe that, in all her five decades, she has never once done anything to accidentally tear her hymen.
    • French also claims that, in this day and age, very few women bother to keep their virginity for their "one true love", especially since living for centuries means that they may go through several "true loves", and the enforced low birth rate on most worlds means that few "new" virgins are born. This is also helped by the fact that advanced medical technology means that neither STDs nor unwanted pregnancies are an issue for women who want to engage in sex, removing many of the reasons for abstinence.
  • We Will Have Perfect Health in the Future: Played straight for the most part. When French first returns to Earth after his historic flight, many procedures lengthening the lifespan are widely available, including gene therapy and organ cloning. In the 24th century, Cellular Regeneration was invented, which is a one-time procedure that halts the aging process in its tracks. Bioscrulpture also means that anyone can have one's features altered to look anyway he or she wants (which, naturally, leads to most women having a strangely similar appearance).
  • We Will Not Have Appendixes in the Future: One of the first things French does after Killashandra comes aboard is to have her examined by the Auto-Doc. The autodoc revealed something horrible to French - she still has an appendix. Angry at the carelessness of her home planet's religious fanatics, he has the autodoc remove the "offending organ" despite the fact that there was nothing wrong with it.
  • You Can Leave Your Hat On: After arriving to Malacandra with Killashandra, French conducts a test fashion show with his wife as the model. At the end, he is approached by a local agent, who politely wonders when Lady Shandra plans to disrobe. At French's angry reaction, the agent explains that, for the past century, it has become a tradition for the culmination of a fashion show to have the model strip down to music (either down to her lingerie or completely nude) and hand the dress to the lucky buyer. French resolves to hire a local model for that task despite Shandra's willingness to take part in the show.

Alternative Title(s): Captain French