Antediluvians Talk About Caine (Literature)

"Antediluvians talk about Caine" is a Web Original in six installments from 1993, created by some Vampire: The Masquerade fans. Exactly What It Says on the Tin, it's about the founders of the 13 VtM clans sitting together and making decisions that shaped the game world you know and love.

Oh, and did we mention it's really damn funny?

You can read the full thread here.

This work contains examples of:

Butt-Monkey: Malkav

Camp Gay / Camp Straight/ Camp whatever: Toreador
Death Glare:
<Gangrel> ::folds her arms and gives the stare that men, dead or alive fear from women::
Did I Say That Out Loud
<Ventrue> Giovanni...Your Kiss hurts.....no pleasure in your bite.
<Toreador> ::mutters:: You can say THAT again....
<Room looks to Torrie> Oh..sorry..was that outloud?
Drag Queen: Toreador acts like one.
VENTRUE: Toreador! Ladies? But you are a ma...oh, I think I understand.
Do Not Call Me "Paul": Toreador really doesn't like to be called Norm. Similar thing with the other renamed vamps.
Dope Slap: Malkav is often at the receiving end.
Extra Eyes: Saulot had one, like all Salubri. He's called "three-eye" once.
G-Rated Mental Illness: Malkav comes along as this.
Lame Pun Reaction: Does Gangrel do it doggy-style?
Running Gag: Pizza with garlic in #2

Script Fic
Shout-Out:
LASOMBRA: AS I was about to say - you all remember those three witches on the hilltop in Macbeth?
TREMERE: (Hypnotical Voice): YOU DON'T NEED TO SEE MY PAPERS!
MALKAV: Seems more like an 'Oh God' to me, anyway...
- Malkav wants kryptonite as a flaw. Or says so.
<Malk> Fly my little monkeys...Fllllyyyyy.... ::collapses into giggles::
<Malk, as he follows everyone out> <very quietly singing> "Im a lumberjack and im ok, i sleep all night and i work all day...."
<Gangrel> Every time you call one of these meetings I end up looking more and more like one of the Beasts from "Where the Wild Things Are." I swear to god if......
Sir Swearsalot: Brujah
The Smurfette Principle: Gangrel
Social Darwinist: Lasombra
Lasombra: SO? Weeds out the stupid ones, less of a population problem, less nosey Progeny asking silly questions.
Squick: Brujah and Ventrue when they learn that Nosferatu is female. Giovanni, on the other hand, immediately becomes interested.
Sssssnaketalk: Sutekh. Might also be a Thpeech Impediment.
Start My Own: After Ventrue's vote decides about the Origin Story, Lasombra considers this after Ventrue suggests it.
Time Travel: Tremere uses it to be at the meeting which is way before 1314.
Too Much Information: One quote:
Nosferatu: Why on earth would I want to attract other women?
Tsundere: Gangrel
Unsettling Gender Reveal: Of Nosferatu. But in file #1, Nosferatu seems to be male...