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Lets Play / Zisteau

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When Minecraft proved to be too tame, Vechs came along with his Super Hostile series to destroy all you hold dear. He challenged you with scorching lava. He dominated with floating islands and trap-filled caverns, shadowy deserts and sinister trees, varied landscapes with severely limited resources and sunny tropical islands bereft of normal foliage.

And Vechs looked on all he had created, and laughed, and said, "They will never make it out alive."


But then came Zisteau, and he looked upon these challenges and said, "Feel the power of the Sign."note 

Zisteau has finished his LPs of:

He is currently playing:


This LPer provides examples of:

  • The Ace: To Team GOB (Guude, OMG Chad, and Vintage Beef) in his LP of Panthon. By the end of the series, he has three deaths, as opposed to the cumulative 222 deaths of Team GOB. Both L Ps joke about this state of affairs.
  • Angrish: He makes very strange noises when flustered or freaking out, variously described as "panicking in high-speed Morse code" and "lapsing back into his native tongue."
    dogdoc: I thought zombie pigmen just went uweee! uweeeek!
    Nimmrod: That's only when they're pissed off.
    Zisteau: ...That's what it sounds like to the layman.
    Stickicide 21: It's actually a sophisticated language. Consisting of lower and higher pitches of uweeks.
  • Ascended Fanboy: Vechs gives several Shout Outs to Zisteau in his maps.
    • In one, when giving you an early weapon, he notes "He'll probably still use a sign."
    • In another, he lays out a lot of early resources, but sets aside one chest with nothing but a sign, a stick, and a pair of "man pants," labelled "Zistonian Equipment Station".
    • Newer maps have chests filled with nothing but leather pants and an enchanted sign, labelled Zistonian Battlesign.
    • And even newer maps have Zombie Pigmen wearing leather pants and wielding Zistonian Battlesigns.
  • Attention Deficit... Ooh, Hey There's A Dark Corridor: Zisteau has a hard time making it out of the abandoned mineshaft in Life on Bogota.
  • Buffy Speak:
  • Chekhov's Gun: The Thumbnails of his Mindcrack videos were often clues as to what his next prank will be.
    • The rainbow of colors from episode 1 to 19 related to him building a rainbow in Pause's nether track.
    • The random objects from 27-35 were all objects he used when building CandyLand in VintageBeef's castle
    • The introduction of episodes 48-72 contained fragments that when put together described the prank Team America pulled on Team Canada in episode 75.
  • Cozy Voice for Catastrophes: Like Helloween 4545, Zisteau is very pleasant to listen to, even if the circumstances put you on edge due to sheer suspense (or hordes of shrieking ghasts).
  • Determinator: In the Super Hostile Minecraft map Inferno Mines, Zisteau decides to investigate a suspiciously lit spot in the ceiling of one of the secret areas, and discovers that being a Super Hostile map, the place is full of nasty monsters... lots and lots of monsters. It takes nearly three full episodes with much fast-forwarding and Zisteau chattering like a chipmunk to clear out the area (without dying once!), but he eventually does it. And why spend all that time and effort? Mostly just because it was there.
  • Distracted by the Shiny: You've got precious, precious wood to deliver to a safer area, and you stop to patch the irregular floor with gravel??
  • Letter Motif: The real names of the Life on Bogota crew all start with T.
  • Pig Man: His Minecraft avatar is a zombie pigman.
  • Precision F-Strike: He sounds like a pleasant, mild-mannered, amiable uncle, even chatting away with the creepers he's killing... but he swears abundantly when things go wrong. Not in an angry way, usually, but it's still enough to offend a 7-year-oldnote .
  • Sequence Breaking: A pit of lava between you and that tree. A clearly marked tunnel to the left. Digging to the right reveals a lava trap. Give up and go where you're told? Never! Zisteau digs his way right up and around to the left, over the tunnel entrance. Through sandstone, with his bare hands. He not only avoids the tunnel entirelynote , but finds a secret room in the process.
    I have managed to completely avoid that jumping trap and—more important than avoiding this lava jumping trap, I'm avoiding going the direction the map designed to kill me intended for me to go. There's a small victory there, I think.
  • Shoot the Dog: Quite literally in Life on Bogota. Several times, actually.
  • Super OCD: Is very notable for this. Brutally exploited by Team Canada in their prank.
  • Suspicious Video-Game Generosity: The few times Zisteau falls for it are priceless. For example, the time he cheerfully hops a minecart track off to parts unknown, notes "this may be a bad idea," and soon is bathing in lava. Laughing while he dies.
  • Tim Taylor Technology: His answer to any problem he encounters in Kerbal Space Explosion is more power, whether it makes sense or not. Or if he doesn't have a problem.
  • Too Dumb to Live: In Season 6 of Ultra Hardcore, Zisteau goes to take a bathroom break, unfortunately, he stands on top of a tree in a forest he'd just set on fire, in plain sight. Cue Kurt sniping him with a bow and wondering why he's not moving.
  • Weapon of Choice: His sign and Advanced Lighting Technique.
  • With Great Power Comes Great Insanity: When Zisteau finally gets lava buckets in Legendary, he ends up covering the entire map in lava. While playing happy music.

"See you later, take it easy, have a good day, bye bye."