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Lets Play / Vaults?

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I'm starting to think vaults are for much more experienced adventurers...
McNoodlehead, understating things

Once upon a time, there was a player new to Dwarf Fortress. Not being confident enough to attempt Fortress Mode, he started out with Adventure Mode, using the elf axewoman Almef Abliemtha. While on his adventure, he came across a strange structure known as a Vault. While navigating through it and taking a tremendous beating, he asked the bay 12 forums what it was- and got a crash course into the great spoilers of Dwarf Fortress that he'd been obliviously shredding his way through.


It can be found here.


  • Achievements in Ignorance: McNoodlehead didn't even know what vaults were. He just explored it and somehow got the slab as an adventurer wielding a silver axe and wearing goose leather and rope reed armor.
  • Born Lucky: Almef could be considered this, as she managed to survive a Vault despite being horribly underleveled, and then got a wererhino form when she toppled a statue a temple.
  • Broke Your Arm Punching Out Cthulhu: Almef may have defeated a vault, but wound up with a Long List of injuries that could basically be described as 'her everything is broken'.
    Killing the Ruination of Dreams would be a victory. I didn't win, I just survived.
  • Curse That Cures: Posters on the bay 12 wiki advised McNoodlehead to turn Almef into a werebeast to heal her of the insane amount of damage she took in the vault. She wound up becoming a wererhino.
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  • Department of Redundancy Department: After being pointed to the wiki page on vaults, McNoodlehead has questions, two of which are "THERE ARE DEMONS?!"
  • Flat "What": McNoodlehead, upon having it confirmed that clowns were stronger than elephant men. The other posters were surprised to have found someone so green he didn't even know that 'clowns' meant The Legions of Hell in Dwarf Fortress invokedslang.
  • God Is Evil: The God Behind the Vault is Rurast, a dwarven goddess of dreams and torture.
  • Hit-and-Run Tactics: How Almef survived the vault - stealth killing the assistant angels and severing arteries on the slayers and then dodging about until they bled to death.
  • I Know Your True Name: The slab has the true name of the lizard demon Stumeb- 'Mothi'.
  • Our Werebeasts Are Different: Almef ends up as a wererhino. The town nearby also apparently had a bit of a wererhino infestation.
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  • "Shaggy Dog" Story: The slab gave Almef the true name of the demon Stumeb, who was killed by a roc. That same roc had also killed McNoodlehead's previous adventurers. At least she got a wererhino form, some insane ax skills, and searing metal armor out of it.
  • Suddenly Shouting: Inverted after McNoodlehead was directed to the wiki page on vaults. He comes back with four questions, the first three of which are typed in incredulous Caps Lock, and the last reverts to merely nonplussed normal caps to ask "Why are demons called 'clowns'?"Explanation 
  • Took a Level in Badass: Almef gets much better with her axe after having to use it to defeat angels. And then she becomes a wererhino.