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Lethal Chef / Webcomics

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  • Two appear in 8-Bit Theater. There was the restaurant with biscuits made out of "solid goddamned lead," and then came Red Mage's shoe sandwiches:
    Red Mage: And they didn't kill us! You guys never thanked me for that.
  • In the older archives for the webcomic Absurd Notions the horror of the dining hall is only hinted at, but the author's notes go into great detail. Suffice it to say that their spaghetti sauce was legally actionable.
  • Pat from Achewood may not be a completely lethal chef, but the vegan meals he serves to the other characters aren't all that tasty, either. In one strip, he offers them some of his homemade chocolate-covered cherries — which turn out to be stewed prunes covered in carob. For this injustice, Todd shanks him in the leg with a toothpick.
  • The Adventures Of Pudding features a collective effort. There's always someone...
  • All Over The House regularly features the unfortunate results of Tesrin's attempts to cook.
  • In Batman: Wayne Family Adventures, Damian tells Duke that Bruce is the only person banned from the kitchen by Alfred, implying the same terrible cooking skills Bruce has over in the Comic Book section still applies here. Indeed, a later comic has Bruce trying to cook by himself while talking to Clark on the phone and promptly burns the food.
    Clark: Now I see why you have a lifetime ban.
    Bruce: I don't want to talk about it.
    • In a later strip ("Bad Day"), Bruce and other Bat-Family members, unable to do their usual patrols due to injuries, make food for a sick Alfred. Turns out when Bruce pays as much attention to cooking as he does crimefighting he's pretty good.
  • Elliot of Blood Stain temporarily works at a bakery as one of the many jobs she tries to hold. Her creations turn out incredibly crusty and ashy — and it's implied that's why she is fired. Her older sister gives the single upside that she didn't have to fear food poisoning for the next week due to the charcoal.
  • Bruno had the title character staying in an isolated house with the writer Stanley, who managed to ruin everything he cooked for her. Subverted at the end of the storyline, where he reveals that he's an excellent cook; he initially made inedible food because he wanted to be left alone, and kept doing it because Bruno's reaction was so hilarious.
  • In Champions of Far'aus the goddess Leilusa is shown through her off-panel dialogue to be this after basically becoming the second Parental Substitute for a young Will alongside the god Hyperion. She needs Will to check the food she made for him, as she can't remember if what she put in will poison him or not, and personally admits that she has no clue what she is doing.
  • This trope was a Running Gag for the college strip The Class Menagerie, with the dorm cafeteria food being a frequent target. Scott and Kevin managed to bribe Rules Lawyer and RA Dani with junk food just by pointing out the crappy menu for the evening (Okra Surprise). Another strip had the cast being forced to literally fight their dinner when the beef stew turned out to be so undercooked it was still putting up a fight.
  • College Roomies from Hell!!! Marsha is a Webcomic lethal chef, causing stomachs to be pumped and a single bite from one of her cakes sending someone to the hospital. Mike doesn't dare say anything, suspecting (correctly) that she'd dump him for it; her roommates openly complain and go to great lengths to keep her away from the kitchen, but she seems to think this is just spite. This is partly because her father is a master chef; she insists that being a good cook is in her blood.
  • In Dan and Mab's Furry Adventures, Mab's brownies are repeatedly mentioned to be "the stuff of nightmares" and haunt the dreams of Jyrras even years after trying them. She also has the apparent ability to make ovens explode just by trying to use them, but that might be an usual reaction between Faes and technology, according to some filler strips...
  • Dean & Nala + Vinny: Nala makes oatmeal cookies for Dean, claiming they will help him cycle better to Thailand. Vinny has his doubts, based on ingredients: Irn-Brunote , marmalade, and heather sprigs with a scoop of Scotch broth:
    Nala: These cookies will remind him of his home...
    Vinny: ...and why he left it.
  • Two examples from Dork Tower:
    • One three-part story featured an "Iron Chef Ramen Noodle" cook-off between Igor and Carson the muskrat. Carson's entry consisted of flavouring and generic tofu dogs, and prompted the question "This used to be organic?" from the judges. He wins anyway, despite Igor's entry being "like tasting clouds" because his entry reminds the judges of college dorm food — "The best years of our lives!"
    • Earlier Igor purposefully invoked this trope with his Igor Bars
  • In Drowtales, Chirinide attempts to cook a bird for her faithful bodyguard Shan'naal. She fails to realize that you have to pluck and gut the bird before you put it in the oven. She also tries to start said (non-magical) oven with an enormous fireball. Tur'geis says he'd eat it anyway, and Ariel actually remarks it smells good. This leads Nuru'lara to conclude that Sarghress-born have no taste.
  • Erika and the Princes in Distress:
    • Pita is a terrible, terrible cook. The very first recipe of hers that she has Erika try out is a cookie made from larvae, horse placenta, tree moss, and crushed toenails clippings. Her favourite dish also happens to be mud soup. Of course, you shouldn't ever point it out to her if you value your life.
    • The book-exclusive chapter of Volume 1 shows that Pita's father shares her awful sense of cooking, and reveals that they developed it mostly as a result of not being able to afford actual food due to being poor.
  • Evil Plan The Webcomic: Problem: Little sister Kristen's food kills. Solution: Elder, mad scientist brother Stanley uses it to kill his foes. By filling a vat with it and dropping them in.
  • Evon tends to burn anything she tries to cook over a campfire, her "stew" was closer to a black sludge. However, she's pretty good on a stove.
  • Early in Exploitation Now, Bimbo made some clam chowder that was not only inedible but, when flushed down the toilet, summoned an Eldritch Abomination that destroyed her apartment building.
  • Fire Emblem Heroes: A Day in the Life: In "Forging Bonds: Mortal Soup", the Krises bring their extremely bad cooking skills with them. After their previous attempt almost killed Fjorm, they try to make soup, but it turns out to not even be a liquid. Hel is not amused and threatens to kill the Krises, while the Death Knight of all people actually enjoys the awful cooking, as he says the soup is "death itself".
  • Foxes in Love: Green is apparently a terrible chef.
    • His attempt at baking Blue a birthday cake looks more like a rock. At least Green is aware that it's not edible and doesn't take offense when Blue declines eating it.
      Blue: Is that a dead spider?
      Green: I'm bad at baking, too.
      Blue: Do you mind if I don't eat it?
      Green: No, I like you alive.
    • When the foxes get an air quality meter, they notice that it skips over red and turns purple with a picture of a gas mask whenever Green is cooking.
  • Freefall has several:
    • Helix takes Oven Logic to the extreme. Since cooking is just the application of heat and pressure, he cooks with explosions.
    • The Golden Trough is an all-you-can-eat restaurant staffed by lethal chefs who cook with low-quality ingredients in an unhygienic and poorly ventilated environment. Parents take their children there as punishment. Sam just takes it as a challenge.
      Florence: Sam, that cockroach just nibbled your food and died.
      Sam: Ha! Survival of the fittest!
    • The Mayor's mom was a demolitions engineer, not a baker. Her attempt at pancakes is never shown, but it gave the mayor shrapnel wounds.
  • Maurice Kinski from A Game of Fools, with an emphasis on the lethal part.
  • In GingerDead and Friends, Ennui/Lenoir is a Lethal Chef less because she's bad at cooking (she doesn't appear to be), and more because she forgets that living people don't usually like poison in their food (she is quite probably dead, and the poisons don't affect her anyway).
  • Several characters in Girl Genius seem to fit this trope.
    • Moloch's cooking is so bad that a fellow inmate claims that she would rather eat his engines — he only has the job because the job goes to the newest guy since no one wants to stay in the evil sentient kitchen built for a literal Lethal Chef.
    • Theo mixes Gilgamesh a drink that actually causes him to stop breathing for a time (though this might have more to do with Theo preferring his liquor to be 200 proof or higher, based on dialogue).
    • Gil himself apparently has made a drink out of toothpaste and hedgehogs (that's actually quite good).
    • Oddly enough, Agatha seems to be a lethally good cook — at one point she makes a cup of coffee so "perfect" that more or less put the drinkers into stoned euphoria. Also referenced when Agatha first enters Castle Heterodyne, where all of the Empire's worst criminals are sent. When asked what she's in for, she replies "I poisoned 37 people who complained about my cooking" in order to avoid kitchen duty (it doesn't work).
    • Zola, if we'll believe Gil:
      Agatha: She uses poison?!
      Gil: Well, I always thought she just couldn't make coffee. But now I'm not so sure.
  • In Grrl Power, Sydney Scoville proposes to showoff her "mean weapons grade spaghetti sauce" for a TV show:
    Maxima: Hands up, everyone. Who wants to see Kelly Ripa burn her face off on Sydney's cooking? (all hands go up)
  • Merv from Head Doctor Productions makes food with magic. The problem isn't so much the taste or edibility of his meals as their tendency to bleed, or to be possessed, or to open up portals into the minds of disturbed people. Yum.
  • In Housepets!, Keane is driven to recreate the taste of food in heaven, despite not remembering it clearly or really knowing how to duplicate it with mortal ingredients. His experiments are so unsuccessful that he orders pizza before he starts, to save time.
  • In Jupiter-Men, Bea brings carrot cake to Arrio's birthday party. Said cake is unevenly iced, has raw carrots sticking out of it, and carrot skin shavings all around it as sprinkles. Arrio is visibly unnerved by it and his dad assures him that he has a store-bought cake in the fridge. According to the author, Bea has always struggled to cook well, which is likely why she's often shown buying takeout for the twins.
  • Ana from Kurami is this. In one strip she somehow manages to burn a cake before baking it.
  • Buckaress in League of Super Redundant Heroes takes this to a bizarre extreme. Whenever she cooks, whatever she cooks spontaneously combusts. Including boiling water and (untoasted) ham sandwiches. She can trigger this by removing pickles from a sandwich someone else made. She can trigger this by walking past someone who is cooking. This has even happened when a person who is cooking talks about her while she isn't anywhere near the kitchen in question. Fans of the comic have speculated that Buckaress has some kind of food-based pyrokinesis.
  • Megaman in Megamanspritecomic has deadly cooking skills when it comes to making b-ball pasta. He first causes his brother Zero to choke to death on it, then later weaponizes his lack of chef skills in this strip.
  • In MSF High there are at least two, Alouette and Lana. While their food may technically be edible, it tends to become alive and hunger for flesh.
  • Two examples from Narbonic:
    • Professor Madblood does not know the first thing about cooking. His rice-a-Roni contains jagged metal.
    • Mell and Artie in A Brief Moment of Culture (first part): Not only does their yoghurt rise up and try to eat them, but apparently they burned it.
  • Nodwick: Piffany is an inversion, and is so good at baking that cosmic war can be averted by giving the gods her brownie recipe. Yeagar, on the other hand...
    Artax: Don't touch that! It's a deadly mould!
    Yeagar: How do you know that?
    Artax: It looks like your cooking!
  • Ma-ri and her entire family in Orange Marmalade are this with any food outside of pork, justified because they're vampires who can't eat anything besides pork.
  • Our Little Adventure has Pauline. One such instance involved a dead bird Angelika was going to throw in Julie's tent as a prank and the other involved 'things that are like Chicken' and 'things that are like vegetables.'
  • In the Mega Crossover Fan Webcomic Roommates Javert's mother Morgan the Healer. Her pies rival Mrs. Lovett's. Worst pies in London? Worst. Pies. In. FRANCE! This 'verse (so the Spin-Off s Girls Next Door and Down the Street included) also has Mrs. Lovett, who actually isn't as lethal as her reputation makes her out to be, and Christine Daae, who couldn't bake an edible cookie if her life depended on it.
  • Crystal from Sluggy Freelance is apparently a lethal bartender. There's her infamous "Survivor Nights" (in which her patrons vote off her various alcoholic concoctions from the menu), and the fact she's created drinks such as Prince Charles (tastes like ear) and Cheeseburger Margarita (exactly what it sounds like).
  • Peejee from Something*Positive. At one point Davan is teaching her to make a cake, and while talking on the phone to his mom, says, "I gotta go, Peejee finally took something out of the oven that isn't on fire."
  • Anne in S.S.D.D. apparently has a reputation among her roommates for having horrendous cooking skills, her homemade wine is particularly dangerous.
  • In Stand Still, Stay Silent, Mikkel is the Camp Cook. In order to extend the group's rations during the first adventure, he is implied to have dissolved fat from candles in the stew. In protest at the cooking, another character drops a whole dead squirrel in the pot. Mikkel pulls it out, shrugs, and puts it back in.
  • The Chef on Station V3 "is an expert in the preparation of what can loosely be termed 'food' on a good day."
  • Ace from Too Much Information (2005) is in all other ways The Ace, but he likes hot food. Really hot food. As in, puts hot sauce on his pancakes. His housemates won't let him share in the cooking duties. Anything he fixes is bright red from all the hot sauce and is edible only to him and some kittens with black holes for digestive systems.
  • Yeon from Tower of God has only cooked for the team once. When she wanted to try again for Viole's sake, the rest of the team tried their best to dissuade her, a dark background of doom appeared, and Miseng even started to cry.
  • Richard "Vinci" Nicolaides, half of the titular couple of Vinci and Arty, at one point made cookies that got mistaken for fish when the character had a crossover with another Furry Webcomic, A Doemain of Our Own (ended). However, it's later suggested that he can make edible food if provided with a recipe in his native Greek.
  • The Whiteboard: Sandy describes Swampy's cooking "...But it shouldn't actually be lethal." 3380 3381 3382 Clearly Swampy doesn't belong in the Kitchen.
  • Esper Girl in comic #37 of Yu-Gi-Oh! Card Game Gusto Fan Comic. Cooking a Worm's corpse over a campfire created a noxious odor in the Gusto Swamp-lands.

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