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Just For Fun / Book Of Mario Thousands Of Doors

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And this is only the title screen.

You will regret everything!

Book of Mario: Thousands of Doors is an unofficial translation patch of Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door by Fatguy703. After getting a letter and a map from Princess Peach, Mario sails to the city of Rogueporto to find her. However, when Mario arrives, Peach is nowhere to be found. At the advice of Honesty Professor Caesar Reality, Mario journeys across the land and gather the Crystal/Christian/Glass Stars.

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But the truth is, I'm gonna trope my father. Him. All.

  • Accidental Innuendo: The phrase "Come on!" turns into "I came!" often. It's to the point that it's practically Goombell's catch phrase.
  • Adaptation Name Change: All over the place, and not just for characters. For example, Goombella becomes Goombell, Koops becomes Carbon, Super Mushrooms become Super Presidents and so on.
  • Adaptational Jerkass: Frequently.
  • Adaptational Sexuality: While it's never mentioned what orientation Hooktail is, her Book of Mario equivalent, Hoko Saba, tries to be homosexual and mentions having a wife.
  • Adaptational Villainy: Koops is a shy young man with low self-confidence who wants to be brave and strong enough to protect his loved ones. Carbon, by contrast, has a bit of a god complex and talks about wanting to kill his father and destroy his own home town, though nothing ever comes of it.
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  • Ambiguous Gender: Quite a few characters end up being this due to the translation being a bit inconsistant with certain characters' pronouns.
  • Artifact of Doom: Played for Laughs. When Mario and co. get the second Christian Star, their victory is marked with the cheerful announcement of "You have a disease!"
  • Awesome Mc Coolname: Honesty Professor Caesar Reality is quite a step up from "Professor Frankly".
  • Cloud Cuckoolander: Just about everyone, thanks to the translation. This includes the narrator and caption boxes at times.
  • Department of Redundancy Department: Afternoon City is described as "always wonderful and wonderful."
  • Floating Continent / Underwater City: When he bursts into the Pitty Glitz to attack Mario in Section 3, God Browser claims that the city is falling, and the end-of-chapter narration states that it is now underwater.
  • Foreshadowing: The translation sometimes pulls this off by accident:
    • During Mario's first fight in the Pitty Glitz in Section 3, Mr. Mr. Prosecutor Grubba introduces him with the title "New Hammer Wanted". Mario does get a new hammer later on in the same Section.
  • From the Mouths of Babes: Lil' Fat the baby Yoshi is one of the more foul-mouthed characters in the game, presumably due to her egg spending so much time hanging out in the Pitty Glitz locker room.
  • Good Bad Translation: The whole point is to see how silly the translation can get.
  • Great Offscreen War: A war is frequently mentioned, though who is fighting it and what it's being fought over are...unclear. For a number of reasons.
  • Guide Dang It!: Comes with the territory. The directions on what to do and where to go are usually replaced with complete nonsense.
  • Have I Mentioned I Am Gay?: Hoko Saba is described as "hard, especially when it's lost, and will try to be homosexual."
  • Informed Ability: The translation occasionally mentions abilities the partners have, that we never see them use. For an example, it claims that Viviana can shoot enemies with shadowed loudspeakers.
  • No Fair Cheating: Prof. Reality tells Mario not to cheat during the Special Move tutorial. Even though the game has no means of detecting cheating.
  • Non-Indicative Name: Most of the names and terms have been mangled horribly, it would be easier to list examples of what DOESN'T have a name that typically refers to something completely different.
  • Obligatory Swearing: In spades. This includes dialogue and the names of certain enemies (Spiked Goombas become Fuckin' Goombas, etc.)
  • Organ Theft: Koo Koopie mentions in an e-mail that she hears Hoko Saba's intestines in Carbon's house and decides to steal them so they can be her father.
    • A few downplayed examples crop up here and there, separate from this. For instance, Mr. Mowz introduces himself as "The Nipple World Thief," it's not clear if that means he steals from a world made of nipples, or steals nipples from around the world, but in both cases, he steals nipples.
  • Repetitive Name: Kammy Koopa becomes Kamopa Kamopa in this.
  • Reports of My Death Were Greatly Exaggerated: When Make returns to the tree, Punisher tells him that the other punies were struck... by death! It later turns out that Punisher was mistaken, as Mario and the others later find the other punies imprisoned.
  • Suddenly Ethnicity: The Yoshi Kid reveals that she has N-Word Privileges when she shouts it aloud during the final confrontation with the Queen of Shadows.
  • The Wiki Rule: Can be found here: [1]
  • Your Soul Is Mine: Zess T. demands Mario's soul from him when he steps on her contact lens.

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