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Headscratchers / Deadpool

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   In need of de-self-demonstration.   

  • I know that it's a neat skill and all but sometimes I really do wonder how I can see past the Fourth Wall.
    • You're just that cool.
    • Don't listen to him; he's just crazy. I'm sure there's a perfectly good and logical reason for it.
    • Maybe because Real Life is actually a delusion in your mind, and the Marvel Universe is real.
    • Or maybe you're just insane, and the fourth wall breaking thing just happens to be right.
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    • What if you're actually a mutant with the power of super-clairvoyance? Your X-factor only came into effect when you got that horrible cancer.
  • When are they ever going to give me the Crossover made in Geek heaven: Me vs. The Joker?
    • Probably because you would wipe the floor with that guy ten times over. I mean, you hate clowns, he sucks against non-serious heroes, you have healing factor and fighting skills to rival Batman and use guns, whereas he's just a normal dude who has white skin.
  • How come, in Daniel Way's run, in the X-Men story arc, I swim over to San Francisco and act like I've never been there before and perpetuate an offensive stereotype when, in Joe Kelly's run, San Francisco is where I LIVED?
    • Maybe we forgot we lived there? The upstairs attic's kind of like one of those weird thingies with the walls that keep changing around where David Bowie's prancing around in tights that make me swell with admiration and envy...
    • Wasn't Bowie the one who stole our comfortable plastic explosive chair? Then again it might've been Weasel...
  • I'm totally stoked that I'm kinda-sorta an X-Man now, but my yellow boxes keep telling me I'm not a mutant. Can someone es'plain why I'm an X-Man so they'll shut up and lemme alone? My chimichangas are getting cold!
    • Well, Juggernaut's no mutant either, and he's been in both the X-Men and the Brotherhood of Mutants. He just uses a Chaos Emerald thingy. So maybe you two need to get together and start the XY-Men or something. It could double as a woman-hater's club (but the straight kind).
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    • Cancer is technically a mutation...
      • the first non-founding member of the X-men was Mimic a fellow mutate and he was created by Stan Lee. Which shows that even In the beginning the X-men weren't to picky about their members species.
      • Which makes sense when you think about it: the entire point of the X-Men is to end human (or, mutate) vs mutant racism. Just like why Shellhead liked when Magneto's kids wanted to join the super-hero boy band.
  • Where the minty-fresh hell did this sudden "split personality between my outside voice, a yellow text box and a white text box" thing come from? Did Daniel Way even know about me before he started writing me?
    • Deadpool's yellow text boxes are a staple of the character. The white text boxes originated during his appearance in Wolverine: Origins. In the beginning of the story, Deadpool was thinking about what to write in his diary. The thoughts of his diary became the second inner voice (white boxes) alongside the original (yellow boxes). But that was then. Now, who knows what the white boxes are.
      • But the yellow boxes were Deadpool's internal narration, not a separate personality.
  • Why is Cable & Deadpool so out of continuity? After the series ended, Cable lost all of his cool powers, I dropped my quest for good, Agency X is almost nowhere to be found, I don't even have an apartment... Fuck, what happened?
    • Executive Meddling?
  • How can I make myself killed?
    • Magic?
      • Or maybe you can convince Thanos to get rid of your immortality. Or you can take it up with Doctor Strange.
    • Make yourself completely unpopular, and we won't let you come back from death.
  • How come, in the miniseries Wade Wilson's War, Flashback!Me was shown in Spider-man undies, when Spider-man did not exist yet?
    • What do you mean, "didn't exist"? He's been in comics way longer than you. Did you think the fourth wall would get in the way or something?
  • Come to think of it, why do I still have a deathwish? I mean, there are multiple ways to kill me, despite my regenerative abilities. Exacerbated in the Dead storyline which featured Daken, a character dying in his series, despite his healing factor! Not to mention the Muramasa owned by my teammate Wolverine, which he used to kill Sabretooth! If I really wanted to die, I would've done it by now.
    • Dude, we can't die. Thanos cursed us to never die because we're in love with Death, and Thanos was jealous.
      • But 1) Thanos is dead and/or trapped in another dimension and 2) Evil Deadpool (think of a clone, but more disgusting) was killed. One would assume the curse would've also worked on him because he technically was me.
      • It's possible the No Ontological Inertia law doesn't work on Thanos, so even if he's dead, the curse remains.
  • So, am I talking to myself here, or what?
  • Have the readers ever been subjected to how nasty our faces really are?
    • Frequently. It just changed from artist to artist...we should know this already.
  • At the end of the Agent X series Alex Hayden, AKA Agent X (duh) got cured of his irrational hatred for me (as if there are rational reasons to hate someone as awesome as me), as well as getting rid of that X-shaped scar on his face. Then we went on a road trip together, with plenty of pictures to show how buddy-buddy we were. Then, in Cable & Deadpool the guy is back, with the scar and trying to kill me! What's up with that?
    • Maybe he copped the same 'undo' curse that seems to follow us around. Remember how Cable kinda fixed our brain?
      • Don't answer that.
      • Oh, and the number of times our healing factor has been screwed around with? I'll bet good money that tub o' guts will show up skinny again with no explanation.
  • Why don't I get that one mutant Elixer to fix my cancer?
    • Because that would make sense, and what fun is there in making sense?
    • That and the whole "your healing factor is supercharged and kills anyone without cancer" i.e. what happened to those Skrull chumps that copied you?
  • Could Deadpool use his fourth wall-breaking powers to go back and forwards and time? He could visit previous or future panels in the comic, and have Crazy Is Cool fun with his past/future selves
    • I did do that in the 3rd volume of Deadpool Team Up to save Hellcow.
  • Say I wonder if they room for my game for this page. Not that I've done anything wrong in my game, you can blamed High Moon Studios if they is.
  • Shouldn't my fourth-wall breaking abilities mean I know everyone's greatest secrets? Hell, doesn't it technically make me like a low-level telepath, since I can see everyone's thought bubbles?
    • I think it confuses you too much. Sure, you think you know who Spider-Man is, it's that dreamy Tobey Mc Guire...
  • I forget, was I always this crazy, or is that from the Weapon X experiments?
    • Getting your brain screwed by cancer and then unscrewed by a healing factor tends to leave a guy a little screwy in the head. What that doesn't explain though is how guys like Wolverine can get their heads blown off and regenerated without any sanity loss...
  • Why does nobody like me for using lethal force when everyone always forgives Jean "genocidal periods" Grey? Seriously.
    • Because they all want to do her. All of them.
  • Okay, so in my game, if Cable is just SO concerned about this dire future crap, why doesn't he just get someone else to do it? Like Spidey or something? I don't know!
    • 1) Cable's my buddy 2) It's my freakin' game.
  • Why is my daughter, Eleanor, only a little girl? She was conceived in the 70s!
  • Since I'm so ugly, how do I manage to attract so many ladies?
    • Same reason as Roger Rabbit-you're funny.
      • Wait, why did I call myself ugly?
  • Deadpool is unkillable and immortal, right? What would happen if you fly him into cold space and leave him there? Let's assume your head explode without a space suit. Would he forever be a headless dude floating in space for all eternity?
  • Do I know I'm a comic book character, or do I just believe it?
    • Well last time you figured it out you killed the Marvel Universe.
  • You know, given that Madcap was the voice in my head (My white textbox) Why would Madcap was acting out my non-insane part?
    • If you think about it, not all the voices in your head have to be insane voices.


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